Full Title: Like An Arrow Hits A Donkey Butt When Cupid Misses
Genre: humor/making fun of you/humor
Rating: T - pie Fanfiction + Feet. You figure out the rest.

I got this funny idea after talking to my friend on IM.

This story makes fun of badly written fan fiction, Sonic pairings, and everyone in general (including myself). Are I not awesome? Chapter one focused on some creepy Sonadow, Sontails, and hints Shadrouge and Sonknux. Next one will have more hetero couples.
Flames expected. Enjoy. nn

(ps: almost every error in here was meant for the purpose of poking fun. Most error is in the dialogue, but some is not. For example, anything that says strike insert word /strike is meant to be there.)

Chapter 1- Day of smiling suns and raisins

Sonic literally jumped out of bed and skipped to the window.
"What a beautiful day," he said, "I think I'll be gay."
And with that, Sonic skipped out of his apartment and began to run down the street.

Elsewhere, there was a not-so-happy hedgehog. His name was Shadow.
"I am so depressed..." He sighed as he causally cut up his left arm with a razor blade.
"My blood drops to the ground in the name of Maria; someone I barely remember who I love and supposedly made some sort of promise to that I forget every time I become evil..."

"Hey there, Shadow!", came a voice from behind.

Shadow jumped and accidentally cut off his hand with the very sharp razor blade he had.

"Shit, Sonic! Don't startle me! Now look what you did, you faker. I have no hand!!!!!!!!!!111111oneoneelevenbbqkawaiiftw"

"You do so." Sonic said gleefully as he picked up Shadow's hand and waved it in his face.
"Look, Shadow, you're waving at you!"

Shadow snatched his dislocated part back and threw it onto his bed.

"How did you get into my house?" He demanded.

"Rouge let me in, of course. Isn't that nice?" Sonic replied.

'That little whore...' Shadow thought, 'Well, little hot whore... Who has, like, enormous boobies (heh, I thought boobies.) ... Whore.'
Shadow completely forgot what was going on because he was thinking about how much in love he was with a very hot bat.

Sonic smacked Shadow across the head to get his attention back.

"Shadow, I came because I decided after all of these years of loving and doing very hot woman who I still own over a thousand times, that I am gay." Sonic stated merely in his über glee.

Shadow raised a brow that he now apparently strike had /strike has.
"What is your point, unworthy one who dare stand before me?" Shadow spat.

Sonic's grin grew the size of... Very big.
"I wanted to ask if you want to be my strike first /strike new boyfriend?!one"

Shadow raised another brow. Apparently, no one seems to notice that one of Shadow's hands have been cut off. Or no one really gives a damn because it really has nothing to do with the plot and is just a filler to make up for how incredibly short this story is. Why am I still talking?

"Well?" Sonic asked, acting very impatient and annoying.

"No!" Shadow hissed like some sort of awesome snake man, "I will never love you? Yes, I will NEVER (capslock is fun) love you, Sonic The Hedgehog!"

Sonic uncharacteristically cried a river of tears. "WHY, SHADOU? We could be secret lovers and die in the end!"

Shadow stood up from his bedside he had been sitting on.
"Because, mortal, I am evil and I hate you like a mother hates her newborn child... Who is ugly. (who's writing this thing?) And it would never work because I don't have AIDS like you do."

Sonic: I don't have AIDS, Shadow. I have ADD... What were we talking about?
Sonic tries to remember and also wonders why the format of the story had suddenly changed to script out of absolutely nowhere for no reason whatsoever. He also wondered if "SHADOU" was a typo or not. Because if it wasn't, according to the very cheep/free word processor the wannabe eleven year old author was using, there is no such word (in English).

Shadow became impatient. "Get out of my room, Sonic, and leave me to sulk in my pain and agoNY. That's why the fan girls love me, you know."

Sonic burst into syrupy tears once again (ew) as he ran out Shadow's bedroom door.

Shadow, who's hand was somehow now connected to his arm again, waited until Sonic was well out of earshot to do or say anything.

"Oh, Sonic, my beloved. If only you knew. I have emotions for you I have never felt before that is obviously love, but I will pretend I don't know what it is. I yearn to eff you in the arse every night before I sleep and dream about how hot Rouge is and how much of a pedophile I am for feeling for any of you in the first place!" Shadow exclaimed.
Shadow smashed his head into the wall for no apparent reason.
"Oh the agony of it all! Why must I suffer? I love you but refuse to tell you or do anything about it. I wisth -- (typo) that I was not so incredibly stupid and could actually think of a reason to hide my feelings for you when you clearly love me with all of you're -- (grammar error) heart and soul... And lust. Don't forget the hot lust."

Shadow slammed his arm on the desk he apparently has.
"Why must I sulk in all of my pain. I am drowning in my own obnoxious agony as I stand here babbling like a fool."
With those final words, Shadow passed out for no reason.
---
Meanwhile, Sonic was at Tails' workshop, crying his heart out.

"There, there." Tails cooed, (I always wanted to use that word) patting his rejected buddy on the back.
Tails offered his friend a tissue which Sonic took and blew his nose with.
"I don't understand, Tails. I thought Shadow loved-ed me."
Tails rolled his eyes as he wondered where on Earth Sonic could have ever come up with that crazy idea... Oh yeah, Internet.

Tails continued to comfort his friend.

"You know, Sonic, there are other people who love you a lot."
Sonic looked at his best friend and noticed his expression. Sonic's eyes widened.

"Tails?"

Tails nodded gently and cupped his hand on Sonic's cheek as he-

"Wait, Tails." Sonic interrupted.

Tails gave Sonic a confused look.

"Wouldn't this make me pedo?" He asked.

Tails nodded, "I guess you're right. But if you like, I can transform magically into about twice my age with no logical explaination to make it slightly less creepy."

Sonic nodded in response, "That would be good. I just don't want any angry mothers. How do you do do (lawl, "dodo") that anyway?"

Tails shrugged. "The power of fiction, I suppose."

"Right on." Was Sonic's response as Tails was somehow now a 16 year old pretty boy who was just begging to be raped.

"That's more like it.", Sonic purred.

Meanwhile, just outside Tails' bedroom window, Knuckles was watching the two engage in a hot, gay make-out session.

"That is so hot and gay."

Knuckles drooled.

"But I now hate Sonic and will barge in there any moment to beat the ever loving crap out of him because I lover him more than that fox or black hedeghog. -- (spelling error)"

End of Chapter one

A/N I will only make more by popular demand, so beg for the next chapter! (I love to do that.)