Disclaimer: If I owned Charmed, this wouldn't be called fanfic, right?
This songfic is from the song "Crying in the rain" by Everly Brothers, and it takes place right after episode 1x20 - The Power of Two. Hope you enjoy it! Prue's pov.
Crying in the rain
by PruelovesAndylovesPrue
"It may sound boring …but someday, I wanna have a normal wife to come home too."
My heart ached. As if it wanted to blow my chest up. Really badly. It had been the sixth that morning and the pain didn't seem to come any easier. That was, really, surprising, for such an insignificant sentence said in an unspectacular conversation could have sent millions of needles through my body. Especially when I just couldn't do anything but gulped back the tears.
I'll
never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
Sitting in the dining room, I secretly took a look at those investors whom Claire introduced to me. Or I should say… emotionless investors. Sure, they may talk, smile or even laugh at me, but I know, that, those people only cared about the antiques. Valuable things. And maybe Claire – the boss – too, although… I was the very one to work with them. Couldn't blame the investors, after all. I was nothing more than an appraiser for the auction house. Anyway, I didn't care about it. I didn't care if they actually cared for me or not. I didn't care about anything anymore. For the only person I'd ever had that feeling toward to… didn't care about me.
"But no demons"
How could he say that? He sure knew a life without demons… was further than any of my wildest dreams can ever reach. Didn't he know about how I would feel? Didn't he even care about how I would feel? Oh right. It had to be so. If he did care, wouldn't I be wasting my time here but to elope and have a romantic meal with the man in my dreams?
I've
got my pride and I know how to hide
All my sorrows and pain
He must be eating lunch now. We always used to have meals around this time back in high school, together. Reminiscence, those were the best years of my life. Having Andy as my boyfriend and no demons in sight, I'd never been happier… Oh forget it! I couldn't just sit here and mourn over him while he may probably being with some other women out there… Normal women…
It was a pity that I wasn't the one, but… anyway, I hope he was happy, no matter who he dated. And it wasn't even possible that I showed my feelings outward. I didn't want to let people know I was desperate. I didn't want to let him know I was longing for his love.
But still… I just couldn't get the thought of having him as my husband out of my head. Daydreaming, they would call so. After all, I had the right to dream, right?
"Prue!" Suddenly, Claire's voice echoed in my head, pulled me out from the river of thoughts that appeared to have no end. "Uh…yes?" I jumped slightly, almost dropped the fork on my hand. "Are you alright?" she asked, bending lower to meet my eyes. Avoiding them, I wondered if I had expressed my feelings so blatantly that even my boss could see right through it. "Of course, why?"
It was a lie. And she didn't even notice it. Could it be considered…lucky? "Because you haven't touched one piece of your lunch." Claire simply answered. I immediately turned to the dish in front of me. Yeah, seems like my appetite had all gone away for Andy. Andy… he wouldn't have needed to look at my lunch to know if I was upset. All he had to do, was to look into my eyes… and everything about me would be revealed.
"No, really… I'm okay." Fixing my hair with hands, I looked up straight to Claire's brown eyes while faking a small smile on my face. She stared at me doubtingly as if wanted to swallow me up alive. I just hoped she didn't realize that I was but far from alright. "The investors are taking their leaves. You should see them out." My boss finished curtly while turning around and walked away from me. I only knew to stand up like a puppet when unexpectedly Claire added, "And after that, Prue, you can go home and have a rest. I see you've had enough for today."
So that was what she thought. That I was exhausted from my 'under covering' work with the police – with Andy. Obviously it was only a fake, but even if I truly had had my chance to work with him, I knew I couldn't have been tired. I knew I wouldn't have been happier. For he… now stop it! I was starting again!
"I'll show the guests out." Answering briefly, I quickly moved to the exit where the investors were waiting without a reply to Claire's offer. I wasn't sure if I want to go home or not. I want to work… because work will somehow cover my pain inside… the pain which I knew that I couldn't bear when no one was around.
oooooooo
Tock… tock… tock…
Raindrops. Falling on the roof of my car. At first they were small, but gradually grew larger… and louder. Until it became a heavy rain. I leaned on my elbows while trying my best to gather up all of my mind on the song that was playing on the radio. Tried to put the noise into my head. So that I wouldn't feel alone.
I looked out the window. There it stood, firmly in the rain, not being afraid of anything. The swing… our swing… Andy and my swing… I really want to be like it. Having fear of nothing, even Mother Nature. No matter how strong the storm would be.
The rain got heavier by seconds. It was so thick that I was starting to lose sight of my dearest spot. Reaching to the umbrella which was kept in the car, I opened the door and started to walk outside, despite that the only thing protected me at that moment was only a small tool.
If I wait for cloudy skies
The second I took my first step down the ground, I realized I'd made a wrong decision. The raindrops fell down, mixed with the muddy ground of the park had created a kind of annoying mud; and it didn't wait for a second chance, immediately it overflowed into my shoes, threading into every piece of my toes. The umbrella didn't help much. The heavy rain still attacked non-stop, wetted my bare legs for I only wore a short skirt. But still I kept on going to my destination.
The leaves seemed as if they wouldn't stop rustling violently above me. They were welcoming me… or were driving me away? I guessed I'd never know. At least I knew they couldn't do anything to me if I advanced.
The swing… here it was. For the very first time that day, I felt completely relaxed. Being near my childhood site was just something that would release every bit of my worriment. But not for long, though. It wasn't just a memorial of the youth, but also… a special place of me and Andy.
He first kissed me there, wasn't that enough for an exceptional spot? If not, then… we had spent most of our wonderful times as a happy teen couple there. Not to mention when he came back from Portland, that was where we officially announced to be together again. Sounds simple, but it was more than words can say. Even then, in the violent rain, I still could see right in front of me a past image of us making out at every corner of the swing. The best years of my life…
You won't know the tears in my eyes
I then suddenly felt wet at the corner of my eyes. It couldn't have been the rain, for the umbrella was still held above me. But why… maybe with all those pain… my heart was overwhelmed and it started to express through tears… I didn't want to cry… I didn't want to be weak… Had to be strong… like the swing…
You'll
never know that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
But the swing wasn't any better. Seemed like it also had been devastated, from the long hard rain. Each of the grain cried out, not wanting to bear the torture anymore. I leaned down closer to the wood, just to realize how much we were having in common. In the outside, we were very strong, fearless and no matter what happened, we would always smile in the end. But deep inside, there was nothing called 'courage'. We were afraid. Afraid of being abandoned… and pain. And no one would know.
Suddenly a raindrop spurted out to my face. Then another… and another… consecutively. They then all rolled down my cheeks… into my lips… my tongue. Salty water… Were they merely raindrops… or they were my own very tears?
I'll do my crying in the rain.
oooooooo
"I'm home!" I called out from the manor's door. No reply. "Phoebe?" Piper was at Hawaii at the time, but Phoebe… my jobless youngest sister should have been home. Walked to the hallway after hanging my jacket and umbrella up, I then found a note – obviously from Phoebe.
Go shopping! I'm gonna stuff you today, Prue!
I smiled lightly. When was the last time she automatically did that? I guessed the Jackson issue had changed us all. Putting the note back to its previous place, I advanced upstairs, to the bathroom. Lucky that my sister wasn't there, otherwise I'd be bombarded about why I was soaked from head to toe and it wasn't really the time to answer that.
I then found myself laying in a hot, relaxing bath filled with soap. Time sure had passed by really fast, I didn't even remember when or how did I get that far. The coldness earlier from the rain had started to fade away from my skin, leaving only the heat covering my naked body. And… so did the pain.
I leaned my head against the wall of the bathroom, feeling much better than a few hours ago. Crying… sure had helped a lot. Never before had I allowed myself to cry, only except when Andy was around and was comforting me. But now… he wasn't there and I bet he wouldn't care to console me anyway.
Staring at the ceiling, I wondered what Andy was doing. It was late in the afternoon, he probably had gone back to work by then. He was really devoted… not just in his career but also his love life. If only I could have been part of it. If only I hadn't been a witch. Maybe… maybe if that had been true, then he would have lied right next to me now, and we would have enjoyed our time together…
His kisses were everywhere… on my body…
His breaths were everywhere… in the air…
His face was everywhere… in my mind…
And everything faded into darkness.
oooooooo
"Andy…" I managed to say in my breath between our kiss. A really passionate one. How long hadn't I felt that much joy inside my heart? That much turned up? His tongue was discovering every bit of my mouth while his hands were all over my body. How I just wanted to unbutton his scented white shirt, and when I was just about to do that, he pulled away.
And he slapped me.
Tears immediately formed in my eyes. What had I done wrong? All we did was making out… How could he do that to me? "Go away, witch! I don't need you!" The man in my dreams who just kissed me a few seconds ago shouted, his face expressed a deep hatred that I'd never seen from Andy before… at least not with me. "Evil witch!"
He finished, and disappeared to the fog which was surrounding us. Although… far far away, I still could see a figure of a man going side by side with a woman – it was obvious. Andy had left me. He didn't mean it when he kissed me… never did.
Raindrops
falling from heaven
Could never wash away my misery
Everything happened so fast that I didn't even realize tears were falling down like rain on my face. Not until the pain on my cheek from his slap started to whelm into my skin… my heart… it hurt badly… really…
A raindrop… two raindrops… three… ten… advanced into millions and millions raindrops… created a heavy rain. Raindrops hit my body, ached it, stabbed it, tore it into thousands of pieces… what great physical pain… but still… it wasn't strong enough to wash out the mental pain… how could he… how would he… WHY WOULD HE?
But
since we're not together
I'll wait for stormy weather
To
hide my tears I hope you'll never see
"I love you… Andy…" My eyes blurred. No longer had I seen anything in front of me, except for the tears that just wouldn't stop coming out from the corners of my eyes. I loved him, true, but the important thing was he didn't feel the same thing. And all just because I was a witch – although a good one.
Raindrops still spat onto my face, made my already wet face wetter. I couldn't even distinguish where my tears were and where the sky's were. They had mixed together, and so – I bet – no one could have known I was crying. Unless they came closer and heard my sobs.
But… I wanted my pain to be known. I wanted Andy to know I was suffering because of him. I didn't want to be left alone… I wanted to be with Andy… I didn't want to… It wasn't true… I didn't want to…
oooooooo
Knock. Knock.
The sound of someone knocking the door suddenly brought me back to reality. I slowly opened my eyes, somehow relieved when realized it was only a dream… or not? I quickly looked up just to find my sister's playful face at the entrance of the bathroom.
"Hello, sleeping beauty! The prince is here, you can wake up now!" Phoebe spoke in a sing-song voice, grinning evilly toward me. I squinted my eyes, knowing there sure was something behind that sentence of hers. "What do you mean by 'the prince'?" I questioned closely.
"Andy called…" The moment the name slipped out of her lips, I could feel immediately my heartbeat increased dramatically. Andy… calling me? How… why… was it something he wanted to tell me? Stop imagining! He probably called for some other unusual cases… "Um…er…um… can… can you… tell… tell him to wait for a minute…?" I stammered badly, feeling as if my tongue was being glued from the inside out. Phoebe smirked, I noticed, "Okay, but hurry, he wouldn't wait forever!"
I then hurriedly walked out from the cold bath and wrapped around myself a towel. The last dream was still remained in my mind, leaving a shiver ran down my spine. Whatever happened, I just wished Andy wouldn't behave that bad to me. If I couldn't be his lover, I wanted to be his friend.
Someday
when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the
sun
A few minutes later, wearing the bathrobe, I left the bathroom and advanced toward the hallway where Phoebe was waiting. Replied back my sister's evil smirk, I snatched the phone from her hand while at the same time braved myself for what to come. "Hello?"
"Prue?" From the other line, Andy's voice echoed back to my ears, sounding so sweet and caring as ever.
"Andy? Why did… wait, let me guess, another supernatural case?" I asked, hoping he would answer no.
"Erm… not exactly. I…um… called to your office but you boss told me you had taken a day off. What happened?"
I thought I was dreaming. That… was not a dream, right? Andy… telling me he cared about me… was that something which I thought – hoped – about earlier? "Er…no, nothing, I just… you know, had a headache." I finally managed to get to my words.
"Oh, um…yeah. That's good. I was just calling to ask."
"Thanks." I murmured, the happiness still whelming inside.
"No problem." A silent then occurred in the atmosphere, and although it was through the telephone, I still could felt its weight as if he was standing right in front of me. "Take care, Prue." My smile broad even more.
"Yeah, you too. Bye."
"Bye."
I
may be a fool but till then
Darling, you'll never see me
complain
I'd never been happier, at least for that day. The dream didn't come true. Andy was still my friend, and to me, he'd always be my secret love. I didn't have anything to complain. As long as he had his normal life which he'd always dreamt of. As long as we were still friends. As long as I still loved him. I knew everything would be okay. As long as Andy was happy. That would be just enough.
I'll
do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
A/N: Why do I have the feeling that this sucks? Do you think so?
