Harry Potter and the Numbers of Imagination


Chapter 1

In the Old World

Habilitating Dr. Antoine Anodine was looking forward to a nice cold beer but he couldn't tell anyone because he had to remain stoic because that's how smart scientists are supposed to be. But the heat of the Burundi desert, even so close to Lake Tanganyika, was getting to him, and beers don't grow on trees anyway! Not that there were many trees in deserts.

He had been ostracised by the scientific community for his self-proclaimed brilliant ideas but what the hell did they know. At least he had a rich company backing his excavation that will at least uncover the true beginnings of humankind, if not of the universe itself.

He reached into his pocket and felt the reassuring weight of the one item he could not allow to ever get away from him. Ever. He was just looking if maybe there was a cold beer tree in the landscape after all, when one of the idiots that were actually managing the excavation strode towards him to inform him of the progress of the day.

The idiot shouted, excited "Dr. Anodine! Dr. Anodine!"

Anodine grumbled, grumpily "That's Habilitating Dr., dammit! Now, what's the matter motherfucker?"

The idiot was used to the Dr.'s harsh tone because he was not a sissy and didn't give a shit as long as he got paid.

The idiot answered, beaming: "We found that thing that you asked as to find! Praise us praise us praise us!"

Anodine suddenly got erectically excited and shouted: "Oh yeah! Show me right now!"

Both of them jumped into their Warthog jeep and Anodine tried to drive but he didn't know how to drive manual transmission so they switched places and the idiot drove while Dr. Anodine just looked cool and stoic.

When they arrived at the lake's edge, Dr. Anodine shouted with dignified authority: "Make way you little shitbirds!" and pushed through the huddled masses of underpaid workers (but that's their own fault for not bootstrapping themselves, lazy bums!).

In the freshly dug up ground a few metres from the water, he found what he was looking for!

He wiped away some more dirt from it and would have creamed right into his pants if he wasn't so damn stoic (he impressed himself sometimes!).

In the ground, there was a large plate of something like gold metal or crystal, he didn't care, but it had an indent where there was one piece missing ... one piece in a shape he knew all too well!

Dr. Anodine stood up gracefully and purred to the confused shitbirds around him: "Now watch me make history! You'll never see something as amazing again in your entire pointless, thrill-less lives again!" as he pulled out of his pocket a ...

HORCRUX!

He snapped the chain fastening it to it's belt, got on his knees and pushed the horcrux into the horcrux-shaped hole in the metal or whatever plate.

That must have done something, because suddenly there was an earthquake and all the lazy worker's cheap tents toppled over and someone drove a jeep into a barrel and it exploded but who cares!

The metal or whatever plate started to glow with an ethereal light and stretched towards the middle of Lake Tanganyika.

Anodine walked over it into the lake like it was the most natural thing ever. In a way, his whole life up to this point had just been a preparation for this moment.

The stupid labourers were screaming or falling over when they weren't exploding because of the earthquake, but Anodine wouldn't even have cared if they started a union all of a sudden.

Here, at the end of bridge into the middle in the lake, was rising the object he knew would enlighten all of humankind with it's shining wisdom.

It was so beautiful in its golden splendor that the habilitating Doctor almost had to avert his gaze, but he wasn't a pussy, so he kept posing in case someone took a photo of the moment that would redefine humanity.

No one took a photo.


hey people thank you for reading my first fanfic, it is surely going to be epic.

pls review