I haven't had a full week of school since Thanksgiving. Ain't that funky? I am writing this story because cows say moo! Did you know that? No? That has nothing to do with why the heck I'm writing this fanfic! I'm writing it because I'm bored. I am also sick. I am going to start a worldwide epidemic of the stomach flu. You just see. I WILL ALL RIGHT!

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[One day Matthias was walking down... that road in front of Redwall]]

Matthias: You're so original.

[[Oh, shut up. Anyway, he was very bored]]

Matthias: I am?

[[Yes. Yes you are. But then, he came up with a magical idea to have a pool, erm, and river party]]

Matthias: Wouldn't we party there anyway?

[[SHUT UP!]]

Matthias: Make me.

[[All of a sudden, a giant hand came out of nowhere and taped Matthias's mouth shut.]]

Matthias: **muffled noises**

[[So, Matthias walked back to Redwall, and wanted to tell all the kind creatures there about his fabulous idea. But, before he could do that, he had to promise to never question the author again]]

Matthias: **muffled noise that sounds like 'kay' comes from mouth**

[[And then the piece of tape bursts into flames]]

Matthias: **runs around screaming because his whiskers are on fire**

[[Rain started pouring from the sky, and the fire that was threatening to consume Matthias's head went out. As he entered the giant building, he ran into the abbot]]

Matthias: Hi Abbot!

Abbot: Hi Matthias!

Matthias: Um.

Abbott: Did you have something to tell me?

Matthias: No.

[[YOU LIAR! YOU DID TOO! HOW ABOUT THAT PARTY, NE?]]

Matthias: Oh yeah. Can we have a party at the river?

Abbot: **quiet for a minute** YAHOO! PARTY AT THE RIVER!

[[And thus everybeast ran toward the river and jumped in]]

Matthias: **annoyed look on face** This is a party. We need food, wine, food, party stuff, and cheese-

Little Dibbun: Wouldn't cheese count as food?

Matthias: SHUT UP YOU! Ahem, balloons, streamers, drinks, more food, and other stuff. Got it?

[[Everyone nodded their head in agreement got out of the water, and went their separate ways to find stuff.]]

Matthias: Shouldn't we tell them what to get?

[[Do you remember that piece of tape, Matthias?]]

Matthias: **eyes go wide with shock** Yyyy-eess

[[I thought so. Now, lets go visit somebody else.]]

Cornflower: **baking stuff and humming a cheery tune**

[[Aw, this is boring. Let's go visit the dibbuns.]]

[[The dibbuns were all gathered in a giant bush, talking, telling each other jokes, and smashing stolen pies into each other's faces.]]

Dibbun with pie on his head: Hey.

Rest of the dibbuns: Huh?

DWPOHH: at dis party, led's go and cwash it. Does dat sound fun?

Rest of the dibbuns: YaY! CwAsH ThE pARtY!

[[The dibbuns went out to go find-hiding places at the river, so they could surprise the unexpecting adults. However, the adults had gathered their needed supplies and were also heading there.]]

Matthias: **head of the group** Now, lets turn this way.

[[The adults followed Matthias, extremely annoyed, because they already knew their way to the pond. Then, the dibbuns stepped out and screamed their battle cry, which was 'Bolsa'. They ran straight into the group of adults, and caused MORTAL CHAOS! Adults ran around screaming dibbuns threw food, and.old people fell asleep! Of course, lucky for them, Wild Ivy came and brought a stop to this MORTAL CHAOS! ]]

Matthias: Wild Ivy?

Wild Ivy: Yes! I am Wild Ivy! I have come to put a stop to this.. MORTAL CHAOS!

Matthias: Yeah, thanks and all but.where the hell did you come from??

Wild Ivy: **sigh** I was the one who taught you how to sword fight in the Redwall Television series that the author bothered to watch only a couple times. One time to see Rose's death and the other she was just plain bored. Um.I think that's what I teach you anyway. **Shrugs shoulders** Is that pie?

Matthias: Yes.

[[Wild Ivy ran over and grabbed a pie, but as she came back to talk to Matthias, she tripped on a dibbun, and the pie hit one of the young 'uns! The young 'un was very mad, and started more.MORTAL CHAOS!]]

Matthias: Stop with the MORTAL CHAOS thing, will ya?

[[Fine. Wild Ivy disappeared and the young 'un became happy again. Peace was restored as the group set eyes on the river. They raised their paws and let out yells of joy, for this MORTAL CHAOS was over. Yay. They all jumped in the river and had tons of jolly fun.]]

Basil: Wot wot!

[[Yes, wot, wot. Then, a human stepped carelessly on Redwall, and caused MORTAL CHAOS for the poor animals. But, they didn't really care, because they were all happy. The End.]]

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This story is stupid..