Insults

"Ugh, Danna, I'm so bored, un!" complained a young man.

Another man, red headed and completely occupied with wooden parts, turned his head to glare at the blonde. His fingers continued working while he remained silent. Nothing annoyed him more than the words coming from the other's mouth. It was almost impossible for him to stand.

"Hey, you're not threatening to kill me! Who are you and what have you done to danna, un?" the young inquired while he blinked his left sapphire eye. His right eye was always blocked from view with a mass of hair cascading down from above his headband.

Sasori grit his teeth and turned his attention back to the new puppet he was constructing on.

"Oh fine, then. I won't tell you what happened between Itachi-San and Leader-Sama today. It was hilarious! You should've been there and seen the looks on both their faces! A classic, un!"

The corner of the red heads mouth twitched slightly a little but then subsided.

"Aw! You're no fun Danna! Looks like I'm going to have to talk about how much eternal art sucks and that fleeting art owns it all by myself! You'll have no say in anything at all! "

That triggered the puppet master's patience as he crushed part of his delicate creations with his hand to chunks of smaller pieces. He stood up, irate from the sudden words. Sasori remembered he needed to calm down in front of the kid so he took a deep breath before speaking.

"Why would I want to talk to an annoying brat like you anyways?"

"You're talking to me now, aren't you?" the blonde asked innocently, flipping a flowing flap of hair to the side," and Danna, you've been making puppets forever! I've counted at least 16 today, un!"

"You count how many puppets I create? All right, that's it. You've officially made it to the top list of the most irritating brats I have ever met in my life. Congratulations! Now leave me alone and let me work in peace!" Sasori snapped.

"Oh, feisty today; did somebody wake up in the wrong side of the bed today, un?"

"I could stab you anytime with my poison, so watch what you say," Sasori growled.

"You don't have the guts, un" Deidara challenged.

The earth beneath them suddenly began to shake violently. The ground underneath vibrated chaotically. Deidara yelped and rocketed in the air, only to be seized by Sasori's arms. Sasori stayed expressionless while he looks at Deidara's widened eyes. He focused back on where the disturbance came from, scoping around the room with his head turning and scanning carefully .Dirt sprung into the air in many directions. A bush of green sprouted from the floor. The tremors subsided.

"Zetsu, what have I said about tunneling into my room?" Sasori muttered.

"Yeah, don't you ever do that again! It scared the shit out of me, un!" Deidara protested. He was unaware that his partner still had him at his grasp. Sasori quickly realized, hands giving, and dropped him to the floor, hearing a loud thud after the action," Oof, Sasori no danna! That hurt, un!"

Sasori rolled his eyes and sluggishly swung his hollow arms back to his sides.

"Sasori and Deidara, Leader has a mission for you," said Zetsu in a calm tone, " IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THIS ROOM IN ABOUT FIFTEEN SECONDS, I'VE GOTTEN PERMISSION FROM LEADER-SAN TO EAT BOTH OF YOU."

Deidara and Sasori glanced at one another. The sculptor was the first to respond to the threat and bolted out the room in a hurry. Sasori, however, remained imperturbable as he was.

"I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ON WOOD NOW, TOO!" Zetsu boomed, the words seeming to echo.

"Yeah, whatever," Sasori mumbled and sauntered out his room. He had an idea to build flamethrower traps at every surface of his room but scratched it when he thought of himself being in that room. Deidara was nowhere in sight. The kid sure can run fast. He concentrated back to the events transpired while he and Deidara were in his room while he continued on walking down the halls.

He acted as if… as if me catching him was nothing! Also, what was with the yelp? The kid really needs help. Why didn't he try to evade me when I caught him? Most importantly… why am I putting so much thought into this? I shouldn't be thinking about these things; I need to focus on what Leader-sama wants us to do next. The brat… I will never understand him. Sasori thought.

"Sasori, Deidara, I need you two to deliver this important scroll to the Village Hidden in the Booze. You two are our quickest transportation and we need this to be sent in under three weeks. A spy revealed that you may be chased down by others from the Village Hidden in the Leaves, so watch your backs," the dark shadow spoke, while he handed Sasori a tightly packaged cylinder. Sasori tossed the light object around, careful not to drop it while doing so. "The map to the village is attached to it. This needs to be delivered to a man that goes by Zure Kaien."

"Leader-sama, Village Hidden in the booze, un?" Deidara questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes… the place has an odd name, but they are not actually inhabited by sake…"

"Do we look like delivery men to you, un?"

"Like I said about the Leaf Ninjas; they're after the scroll, and they'll try and take it."

"You did say it'll take us three weeks to get there, un?"

"Yes Deidara; even if you're on your clay bird. It would take two months by feet"

"Is that all?" Deidara asked, unzipping his pouch full of clay.

"Just stop asking me these annoying questions and go," the leader closed his eyes in irritation.

"You just wasted six minutes and twenty-three minutes of the mission, brat," Sasori spoke, as he packed up many different scrolls including the one the leader gave them," we better finish this mission."

"Quit being so uptight and relax, danna," Deidara sighed," we will finish this anyways. All there's to do is fly on the giant clay bird to the Booze Village and hand over the scroll to Kaien-san and then fly back home, un."

"You make this sound easy like a four year old could do it. What about the fact we're going to encounter leaf ninja and Anbu ops, huh? You shouldn't treat missions like any everyday chore."

Deidara attached another pack of clay under his cloak, "There, are you satisfied now, un?"

"I don't think it's enough to survive, under your standards," Sasori retorted.

Deidara glowered at the redhead before turning around to face the entrance of the base.

"It's only three weeks. I think I can manage, un!" Deidara muttered.

"Oh, so you're beginning to doubt yourself, too. What a shock," Sasori faked a dramatic gasp.

Deidara slid the front door in front of him open and disappeared from the spot. The entrance that crashed against the wall created a huge bang.

He's so stubborn… and now I feel bad. Whatever, at least I finally have a few seconds of peace. I should really torment the brat more often. Sasori thought while he slipped on a bulky pack of his own. I also need to pack light… so no use of bringing Hiroku if we're going airborne. I'm so used to traveling by foot though. This will be my first time ever stepping on that giant thing of his and actually riding high in the air. Oh, what's wrong with me? I'm thinking about things way too much today, like the look on Deidara's face when he jumped up from the disturbance, it was so-

Sasori eyes widened and he slammed his fist into the wall, making it form a deep looking crack.

Damn it! Sasori thought with his fist clenched tightly Damn it, damn it, damn it! I need to stop thinking! I just have to! It's driving me insane! Oh man, but I need to think to think of strategies to defeat the enemy. I can't just not think and jump into things without pondering over them…

Deidara appeared in front of Sasori with no movement from the door whatsoever. He turned to look at him straight in the eye, then the fist in the wall, then back to Sasori.

"Looks like I'm not the only one with the temper here, un," Deidara smirked.

"Oh, just shut it. You don't even know how this happened," Sasori muttered.

"Anyways, I'll pretend you never said any of those things to me, so we can get on with the mission. So we basically just wasted, what, ten minutes and fifty-four seconds of the mission, un?"

"Pretty good kid, off by five seconds though,"

"What are you, a human clock or something? Oh and by any chance, are you ever going to take your fist off the wall, it's really distracting me, un," Deidara advised as he stared the perfect, unscathed hand attached the rocky edge.

"Oh, right," Sasori muttered as he removed his arm from the wall and flexed his arm.

"I also want to you to pardon me for being… extra irritating today than usual. You don't have to respond or anything, just wanted to let you know, un," Deidara turned to face the other way of him again to stare at the patterns of the door.

Did he just apologize to me? What the hell? Is he trying to make me feel remorseful? What should I say to him? He even gave me to option to not speak at all!

"No, I won't forgive you," Sasori mumbled.

"Wait, what, un?"

"Not until we go outside and start the mission already!" Sasori said, smiling a little on the inside. His facial expression on the outside remained impassive.

There was a deep rumbling coming out of nowhere.

"Zetsu," Sasori growled," how many freaking times do I have to-?"

"Eh… sorry Danna, that was me, un," Deidara admitted sheepishly, still facing away from him.

"Oh… so you have to…. Eat," Sasori murmured awkwardly. He didn't eat that much ever since he's turned himself into a wooden puppet to "last for eternity".

Deidara nodded and rose to slide the entrance open, "I'll be back, under the usual five minutes, un?" Before his right foot reached outside of the base, Sasori appeared in front of him in a flash.

"I'll go with you this time," Sasori proclaimed, his arms crossed," comrades don't normally leave one another during missions. If something happens to you, I would be the one to blame."

"Oh… okay then," Deidara said indifferently," but what'll you do while I stuff myself, un?"

"That's for me and only me to worry about. You go do the usual thing you do."

"Normally, I wouldn't be watched and followed by someone who doesn't have needs, un."

"Was I supposed to be offended by that? Fine then, I won't go."

"Ah! I mean, sure you can come! It's nice to have some company when you typically eat alone, un." Deidara faltered, waving his arms in the air. He suddenly stopped looked down to hide his face while he studied his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing to gawk at.

"Uh… you never told me you ate alone. I thought Tobi would accompany you," Sasori said bluntly, lowering his head a little to see if there was something wrong with the sculptor. He was unaware of the light shade of pink on the blonde's face and resumed," let's go eat now. I don't want you to die of starvation at the spot."

"Danna, it doesn't work that way," Deidara laughed," people don't die right away if they're hungry. I bet you're wishing you were human on the inside now, too, un!"

You are wrong thought Sasori. Still… why would I want to stay human at all? They are powerless and ephemeral in the world. They age, rot, and wither away. Most importantly, they are a short lived species. That was the reason why I turned myself into… art…

"Danna, why do you always space out like that, un?" Deidara wondered aloud, as he walked alongside the puppet master.

"Ah, when did we start walking?" Sasori asked, taken aback that he had not notice his feet on the move. With so much in his head, he did not pay any attention as to what was going on.

"Like a while ago," Deidara responded, not noticing the startled tone in the redhead's voice," we're almost there. I can't wait; this store's got the best dumplings, un!"

"You mean dangos," Sasori corrected.

"I'm trying to perfect my English, danna, un,"

"Then why not go and call me master already?"

"Oh that's what it is in the language! I rather call you Danna though, it sounds better, un."

"And instead of saying "un" you could replace it with "yeah"."

"Yeah… no. I prefer using "un" danna, that's just the way I am, un."

Deidara grabbed onto a stick and chomped on the sweet chewy goodness of the dango. Sasori, on the other hand, zoned out again.

Wow, what have I gotten myself into? He thought, as he consciously swung an eaten stick of dango of Deidara's. I could've already gone on ahead without him. I don't want to keep this Kaien guy waiting. Then after I've gone, he could always catch up to me on the thing of his… I really don't want to get near that thing. Okay, why is he looking at me with the freaked out face of his? Oh looks like he's stopped eating, but he's still looking at me like I'm crazy or something.

"What is it brat?" Sasori barked, obviously annoyed at being stared at.

"Um… danna, that's my stick. I bit on that," Deidara informed.

"Oh you want it? Here," Sasori tossed the stick at him.

"That's not what I… never mind, un," Deidara took a bite out of the last piece of food on stick.

"Shall we get going now?" Sasori asked as he took out the map from the scroll and unrolled it. "Our first destination will be to the Sand Village… which will take about four days…"

"Danna, isn't that where you used to live, un?"

"Yeah, looks like I have to go through my past again…"

"What do you mean by that, un?"

"It's nothing… let's just go."

Deidara unbuttoned one of his packs and places his hand inside of it. In a few seconds, everything was crowded by smoke. A giant white clay bird then appeared behind him.

I wonder how he does that Sasori thought. I never really pay attention to him every time he reaches into those bags of his. Does he use some sort of jutsu? I don't even think that giant thing of his can even fit into the small pack. Ok Sasori… just ignore it and get on with the mission…

Deidara leaped onto the bird like a skilled acrobat. Sasori jumped as high as he could and barely made it balanced on the giant clay creature.

"Hey wait, this is your first time use my art, isn't it, un?" Deidara said.

"I can't believe you would call some piece of crap like this "art"," Sasori disapproved.

"Alright just for that, I'm going to make us fly an elevation of 20,000 feet. How do you like me now, un?" Deidara muttered.

The giant clay bird rose at first a sedate. Then the pace quickened until the surroundings around them start to blur. The air whistled loudly as the ride elevated up higher.

"No- I mean, is it really necessary to go that high!" Sasori screamed over the noise. Bracing for impact, his hands were clutched onto the back of the bird's clay feathers. He tried his best not to look down.

"Alright fine, I lied about the 20,000 feet part. This could probably at most fly at a 700 feet elevation, un." Deidara admitted. The elevation of the bird ceased. Sasori exhaled and shrouded both his eyes with one hand.

"Oh, please don't tell me you were scared danna, un," Deidara teased.

"I would kill you now, only if we aren't 500 feet in the air now," Sasori threatened.