TEMPTATION

~Tensai - Teki Kuroneko~

Anna, again! Thank you for reviewing my first fic. This time its going to be a humor fic. :D I am writing it for a friend; and she gave me this prompt. Dedicated to Jaydee. I am sorry for this not being IchiRuki centric(not at the level of writing so perverted), but I do hope you will enjoy! :D Not ByaYoru, but more like Yoruichi as a devilish elder sister. Well, I would not stop you from reading it the way you want. First attempt of writing first person Byakuya, so no flames please!

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. This account is written only for the purpose of entertainment. The author claims no right of the characters or certain qualities they may possess. The characters and their personalities belong to Tite Kubo. The author only owns the setting, the ideas and the plot. Under no circumstances, may the work, in parts or as whole, be copied or reproduced prior to approval by the author. In all cases, credit must be give to the author. Any violation of the above will not be tolerated.

Present Setting: Maybe after the fullbringer arc?

Setting of the flashback: After the time period illustrated by the pendulum arc, but before Byakuya grew older. Pre-Rukia/Hisana.

Characters in the flashback: Immature Byakuya Kuchiki, a 160 year old teenager (Weird?). Yoruichi.

Characters present at the moment: Current Byakuya, Rukia and Ichigo, and later Yoruichi.


"Bakudo no Ichi: Sai"

"Owww. What the hell!"

The spell had worked. Ichigo was rendered motionless.

"This is what you get for insulting the great Kuchiki Talent."

"Let me out. NOW."

"The punishment is not yet over." Saying this, Rukia drew out her notorious torture device.

"No, please. Please Rukia. Please not THAT!"

A Black Permanent Marker.

With an evil smirk, Rukia resumed her chore. All the pleas and apologies were unheard and artfully ignored. As a result, Ichigo's face now featured seemingly thick whiskers of a much different color than rest of the body, adding to all the fun.

Passing nearby, Byakuya heard their voices. Instinctively annoyed by their growing intimacy, he peeked and got a glimpse of Rukia's cruel deed. It would be quite in character if Byakuya would sneer. But that was not the case. While he was stiffly walking around the corridors and into his office to do paperwork, Byakuya's thoughts revealed a pitiful misadventure which he cares to narrate:

It was a few years after Urahara had fled from the Soul Society. Damn the adults. Yoruichi was mischievous, spiteful and the reincarnation of the very devil itself; but it was certainly inconceivable that she would betray the whole Soul Society. Coming back to the circumstances in question, since Yoruichi had left, I was trying to be as gay [ AN: Pun intended. ] as possible. Every time the Shihoin princess had come for a visit, she used all the powers vested in her to disgrace and defame me; even crossing the boundaries of decency a noble lady like her should possess, not that I did not expect her to.

So, I had reasonably not expected her to be back for a visit after such a short time interval when I was woken up by a warm moist air near my face. When I saw her leaning over me, with her face merely at a distance of 2.53 inches from my face, I was surprised. No, 'surprise' would be an understatement; I had a panic attack and was hyperventilating. To my terror, Yoruichi had not changed. She thrust my head into her enormous chest presumably, as a reflex to calm me down. She was fortunate that I didn't scream. Being on run, she would not have been given a warm official welcome.

"Ohaiyou Byaku bo!" Yoruichi greeted with a grin.

"Teme..." Byakuya cursed.

"Oi oi. Calm down. I have got you a gift." Yoruichi said, giving a smug look that nullified the effect of the words.

"I don't need your gift.", I responded in an apparently arrogant manner. My conceited decorum needed some correction.

"Oh, you don't, do you?" She mused.

"Considering your passion for art, I don't understand this denial. Then again, maybe Byaku-bo is afraid of showing his true colors... what a disgrace to such a respected clan..." With eyes gleaming with mischief, Yoruichi pouted.

A few minutes passed by, while I was trying to determine the appropriate move. Its [ AN: *ahem* The Pen's. ] glossy dark body and its perplexing structure tempted me.

Temptation. The irresistible urge to use something which may lead to disastrous consequences was a satisfactory definition in this particular case. I, Kuchiki Byakuya was not the one to yield to any sort of temptation, no matter how intriguing or alluring it was. After all, the Kuchiki are known for their self control. In spite of such deep mental analysis, no reason was capable of abstaining me from thinking about that particular article. Temptation was but temptation. I, being simply an adolescent at the time span in which this specific event had occurred, had supposedly not mastered the art of restraining oneself.

I had fallen for the Temptation. She held a 6 inch long cylindrical black device. It wasn't a modified feather that we used to write with, nor was it a Fukiya. It was an unusual object, made of a very ductile material as it looked in the first glance. Yoruichi placed it in front of me and made no move. To my great dismay, she knew that this was the most effective technique to keep me interested and to persuade me.

I hesitantly asked her, "What is it?"

Grabbing the opportunity, she said: "It is a very popular device in the Real World. It is called a Black Permanent Marker. When you write with it somewhere, it takes ages for the markings to come off and not even soap could remove that. Great, eh? Here."

She handed me this peculiar object.

"Listen to me. This marker has a cap. Here, I opened it. Now, what you see here is its tip. It is like your paint brush. Except the fact that its bristles are if you need to check the softness of your brush, what do you do?"

"Brush my skin with it."

"And, where? Which part of your body has the most sensitive skin?"

"My face."

"Good. Now listen. I think that you have studied about a dark pigment called Melanin present in the skin, right? The one which makes your skin have a dark shade?"

"Yes."

"So, this first we brush our face with this tip. When you do that, it absorbs the melanin present on your face. Then when you write with it anywhere, it gives a permanent mark. At the same time, making your face fairer. And, it works best if only one person uses it. Great, eh?"

"Hmmm..."

"I am sure such a pretty boy like you would have a good use for it! So then, why don't you try it?" Even though I flinched at the mention of 'pretty', but that sly cat acted so very well that I didn't suspect her even a bit. I had always heard about the wonders of the Real World. So, trusting her then was a sensible and balanced move, at least then.

"..."

"Now apply it."

After contemplating my next action for a little while, I did. I applied the tip of this mysterious object on my cheek... It left a tingling sensation and felt moist. Then, I stopped. 'Magic!' It was writing in a deep black ink... Then I thought that I should get up and see if my face was affected... since I sensed that Yoruichi was trying to keep herself from laughing at my face. Literally.

My thought process was disturbed by sudden alarm and shouts of arbitrary Shinigami. "Someone has trespassed in the Kuchiki mansion. Beware!"

"Oi shit! See you Byaku bo! Gotta go now!"

Not to be kept under suspicion I rushed outside, pretending to help the search team. As I was walking around the corridors, the other servants started looking at me in awe. Little did I know what a mess I was in. Thankfully, as I ran passed the corridors, Ojii chan spotted me. He looked bewildered. Still in shock, he said, "Byakuya. What have you done? Go and look at yourself in a mirror. I'll supervise the search team."

... I looked into the mirror... only to find my face covered in highly congested Nushu script. I was petrified. I tried to rub it off, but it had dried. I tried to wash it off with soap, but it kept true to its name and didn't even fade. Then, I scrubbed my face with a clothes brush, even daring to ruin my lineaments in order to not make a fool of myself. I did succeed, to some extent. But, that undesirable blot was still visible.

My predicament had just begun. For the next two days, not including the present one, I could not walk through the halls without someone or the other giggling. Even Ojii chan used to chuckle whenever I went past him. Even after the stain was long gone and I tried to forget, he made it a point to share the incident with every single relative that visited us for the next 40 years.

The worst part was that even after disgracing me to that intensity, Yoruichi continued visiting and misleading me, taking advantage of my oblivion. And I always unknowingly fell right into her trap. This continued happening until humiliating mishaps were a part of my usual routine. After I became a Captain, I arranged as many trips to the Real World as possible, and learned how those eccentric objects actually worked (going to capture Rukia being one of them).

Going back to the present, since Byakuya was feeling restless, he got up. As he went past Rukia's room again, he eavesdropped, and the action was followed by a completely justified move of wiping off a sweat-drop.

"...and Byakuya had to stay with that kind of face for three whole days! Little did he notice that I was the black cat following him around. Sometimes I feel sorry for his credulity. Leaving that, Kuchiki, you have done great job! Ichigo looks great!"

"Aah, isn't he my latest masterpiece?"

"Shut up."

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Ichigo. Nii-sama is quite innocent. That is to be expected."

"No, Kuchiki, he is a gullible simpleton."

"Its surprising how I-am-better-than-everyone-even-with-my-harmless-girly-pink-petals Byakuya fell into such a foolish trap!"

"So it seems. Nii-sama is apparently a little less gifted in matters of wit and cleverness. He can undoubtedly fall for shrewd schemes as his intelligence and good humor may not allow him to apprehend that a human mind is capable of such sly and cunning deeds." [ AN: Read - "Nii sama is a fool." ]

"In short, he is dimwitted."

"Anyone sensing a sudden flare of a familiar reiatsu?"

"Yeah. Its Nii-" (Simulta-

"RUN! Its Bya-" -neously)

"You will pay, Yoruichi."


Terms:

Ohaiyou = Hello

Teme = Rude way of saying "you"

Byaku-bo = (supposedly) Byakuya boy

Fukiya = Ninja blowgun

Ojii chan = Informal way of addressing Grandfather

Nii-sama = Big brother

your - in italics because this differs from person to person, but Yoruichi knew it, anyhow.

I don't like this much, since I think I OOCized Byakuya. Even the marker part is kind of lame. Well, anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed. Especially you, Jaydee. That tiny bit of Ichigo and Rukia interaction was for you. But, it seems I strayed away from the prompt. Oh well, this was partly based on my experiences with my brother. He always tries to fool me, and I always get tricked. For now, I should sleep. Its 3 am already, but I wasn't able to sleep because I again watched episode 10 of "Another" tonight. *shudders* Maybe I'll revise this fic someday. And, I promise my next fic would be loads better.

Reviewing will be appreciated.

Till then,

Nyaaa~ ne!

TTK