A/N: ****Heavily Edited****
Hello all, thank you for reading my first ever fanfic. My story is comes from the heart and mind, there is no inbetween at this point. I'm hoping that all of you who choose to read my story is excited as much as I am. First off, the characters are more on the OC side. I am NOT going to keep the characters I use in the personality they are assigned. Kind of out of the box if you will. Secondly, my stories I type will vary . Some chapters will be bursting with details and others not so much. Thirdly, please BE WARNED I will be touching up to the chapters as I go along. Please bare with me. I like to add on or change as the story goes on.
Please review as much as possible. And more than one review is welcomed. I am doing this to work on my writing and testing my skills as I go on the wonderful journey.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
Butterflies, hearts, and flowers... Those type of things always come to mind when I think of him. But those aren't usually his types of 'things', but a girl can dream right. Well, with Zero everything is kept in line or under control, so he doesn't show any kind of emotion. I mean there are times where I don't know if he wants me around him or not. But then again I am really bad at reading other people's emotions. I never really know when someone actually likes me or if it's a joke, but what does it matter. I only want one person, and I'm still unsure if my attraction for him is a good thing. My love is changing and I don't know what to think about it. I'm not gonna lie, I notice more and more things about Zero everyday. For instance I like to look at Zero a lot, well more like stare at until he tells me to leave him alone. There is just something about him that stands out from the rest of the world. I can't help but admire his looks, he has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life. Amethyst colored eyes were unusual for anyone but on Zero they were beautiful. When he looks into my brown ones I feel like he is looking into my very soul. Almost like his soul is crying out to me, that he desperately wants to tell me something. Almost like he is trying to hide something from me and I don't like it.
If you pay close attention, his eyes will tell you how he is feeling at that very moment. But if he notices you trying to catch a glimpse, he shuts himself down and throws away every key. Even when he's mad at me, his eyes tell a different story. There are some good days where I see nothing but love and I can't help but stare into them. I know there's more to him than his stoic ways and that he can show a little bit of emotion I just haven't got to that point yet. One day I will but I want him to come to me on his terms. His mean stature always drives people away and his cold stare makes people uncomfortable. But he could even give me a sideways glance and my heart would burst with joy, sounds weird right. Yeah I'm still trying to understand it myself. To top it off Zero has the most soothing voice ever, almost like a deep velvet. When he speaks to me I can't help but melt a little on the inside. I could get lost in his voice and not have a care in the world. I love it when he has his days where he would talk non stop, but those days are getting a bit rare. now a days he usually scolds and lectures me, even then I still wouldn't have heard a single word he said. sometimes being a girl can be exhausting switching between emotions.
His silver hair is the most outstanding trait he has. He always tells me that he doesn't like me fascinating over his hair but on the inside I think he likes it. I bug him all the time about it, whether it's styling it or trying to get him to change the color. But everytime I do he starts to say "Don't be stupid Yuuki", but I can't help myself for feeling like I should guide him on how to fix his hair the way I like it. That's really kind of selfish of me to want that much from him, and I know that I can't have him all to myself. I'm not sure when I started noticing him as more than a friend but it was bound to happen one of these days. I mean we spend every moment together and basically know everything about each other. For instance I know that we are both pure and that he doesn't have the need to look for someone. Altho I play with the idea that someday he will choose me. Thinking about stuff like that always makes the butterflies jump around on the inside.
There is something that no one knows about Zero, not even Father. And for him to have that much trust in me to tell that is beyond me, I know that Zero absolutely hated sharing such personal things. Night terrors were his big secret, crazy right. But with the death of his parent and his twin brother, what person wouldn't have any traumatizing memories after that. That maybe the reason he has every emotion heavily guarded and stashed away. I like to think of myself as someone who saves him from drowning in his own misery. Someone who he secretly needs in order to function. But as of right now I can comfort him as much as I could. He does have just a small flaw about him, not once since I've met Zero, has he ever said thank you for anything I have done for him. I mean I really don't mind that but I just wish that he could show some kind of appreciation towards me. Until one evening after father went to sleep, I snuck into Zero's room just to check on him. That entire week he has been waking up from nightmares and coming to my room. So I figured, why not beat him to the punch and be in his room when he wakes up. In my head it was a great idea, but as soon as I opened his bedroom door, I seen him move around and he says my name. "Yuuki, what are you still doing up." He halfway mumbles to me. "Oh nothing just checking to make sure that your ok." I said quickly. Then he said it, as clear as day, "Thank you for checking on me Yuuki, at least someone loves me enough to make sure I'm still sane." He said it in a sarcastic kind of way but I knew he meant every word.
Several months later...
Father gave me an assignment today, since Zero was nowhere to be found, that I had to supervise the switch over. Of course I had to agree and made my way towards the moon dorm entry. When it was time to open the gates and keep the ladies in line, everything went smoothly. After everybody went through I noticed Kaname was nowhere around so I figured he left early for a meeting no big deal. I turn around and was walking away when Kaname had all of a sudden appeared and stopped in front of me just 'to talk'. I slammed right into him, and was immediately embraced by his long arms, and honestly I think it was an excuse to touch me. I didn't even feel a slight blush in my cheeks and I was getting uncomfortable with him always trying something to embrace me. And come to think about it I thought it was odd that I felt that way when I was in his presence. Kaname grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts, and brought it up to his mouth and kiss each one of my fingers.
Speaking with a deep devilish tone he attempted to start a conversation that was bound to lead nowhere. "Why hello Yuuki, I have been thinking about you a lot here lately. I really don't understand why you stopped talking with me during the switch over. Is it because of Zero, he does seem to have your emotions up in a stir." Yeah Zero has my mind in a fog but I'm not going to tell Kaname that. "Kaname I just have a lot on my mind right now and everything seems to be in a jumble. So don't be upset if I am little off." I tried to let him down as easy as I could. Sometimes being well respected can get to his head, and him being told no was a rare occasion. "Oh Yuuki I really miss the way you use to be so open with me. I wonder what could have cause that change for you." Kaname's eyes changed to a deeper crimson color than before and I knew that he was aiming that statement towards Zero. Maybe he was catching on to my feelings towards Zero, it's not my fault that I prefer Zero over him. There was something about Kaname's attitude that I couldn't put my finger on, like a very dark secret that I wanted no part of. For being someone who I use to look up to, was turning into someone I didn't even know anymore.
"Well, Kaname you know I've been busy with patrols and school work. With the Headmaster depending on me and Zero to keep certain things kept under lock and key, I shouldn't let anything distract me from my duties. And with my grades starting to slip a little under where they need to be, I've been studying non stop, with Zero's help of course." Trying to be nice and say 'I don't want anything to do with you' is getting kind of tricky. "I'm sorry I have been distant but you know the headmaster pushes to always have school comes first." I was nowhere interested in this conversation with him and I didn't care if he knew I was trying to withdraw myself. All of a sudden Kaname squeezed my hand, a little too hard for me to handle, and brought my fingers back up to his lips to kiss them once more. The only thing I could think of was 'Oh God I don't want him touching me ever again.' My fingers felt like they were on fire after his lips glided across them. But I'm pretty sure I was just trying to be over dramatic. I felt the need to get away from him so without sounding rude I excused myself. I tried to come up with something other than 'I don't want to talk to you and don't want you around me anymore.' Kaname was starting to get a little too close to me and I need to think of something fast, so with a lame excuse I tried to tell Kaname that I needed to find Zero for an very important matter.
As if on cue Zero popped out of nowhere and cleared his throat very loudly. "Ahem, Yuuki is everything alright." He then headed towards us with a look of concern in his eyes. "Yuuki are you ok? You look a little sick." Zero said as he raised his hand to my forehead. As if to check my temperature and touched my cheeks lightly. "Its ok Zero I'm fine, I was just about to go looking for you. We have an important meeting with the headmaster." I said with a weak smile. "Well here I am, now let's get going. But Yuuki can you remind me of what the matter was again." He said with a smirk. I knew he was trying to get me wilded up so I narrowed my eyes at him. "Uh no I can not Zero, only because the Headmaster told me that you were the only one who knew what the meeting was about." I ended my rant with a slightly confused face to cover my ass. Kaname's face started to filled with anger, I'm guessing that he caught on to me not wanting to be around him. I tried to be unnoticable so I used my eyes to alert Zero that I didn't want to be there. "Oh yeah I know what is was about, well we better get going before the Headmaster starts looking for us." He said with an urgent tone. That was a sign for me to wave over my shoulder and bid Kaname farewell, by the look of Kaname storming off, I'm pretty sure I really pissed him off to no end.
I nudged Zero's arm and ushered him away from where we were standing. Trying to distance myself from Kaname as fast as I could. After we got a bit further away from Kaname and I knew he wouldn't be able to hear our conversation I whispered to Zero. "Gee thanks Zero I was getting kinda uncomfortable back there." Not meaning to, I literally shook myself from that awkward conversation. "No problem Yuuki, but tell me. Why all of a sudden does Kaname seem so foreign to you. I thought he was your savior after all these years." Zero stated with absolutely no emotion. "There is just something about him that has changed recently and I don't know how to process that. And plus nothing really seems like it use to be." When I said that to Zero I felt unsure of myself, but I knew that I didn't want to be around Kaname anymore. He was getting to mature for me to handle. "Well I guess you are going to have to find someone else to be madly in love with, and I don't mean me." Zero said with a very small smile and a chuckle. And me being me, I tried to be funny right back. Only to embarrass myself more than I wanted. "I don't hold any promises Zero." As soon as I said that I went into shock. Zero's face went to a kind of straight, no emotion, face and I quickly laughed it off and gave him a smirk. "Uh ok." was the only thing I heard from Zero. He turned slightly away from me, when I looked at him I seen his cheeks had a slight red tint to them. 'Awe how cute I made him blush.' is all I could think. Zero cleared his throat once again. "Ahem, Ok Yuuki as long as you can handle any situation with Kaname I'll leave it alone. But if you ever need me, and I mean for anything, please let me know. Don't try to take him on yourself because he is more powerful than you and I don't want you to get hurt." His face was soft but his voice was stern and I nodded in agreement.
After we walked around the campus searching for anyone who was out, Zero's hand began to lightly brush past mine when he would swing his hand back and forth. I never noticed that he was slowly getting closer to me, don't worry I didn't mind it at all, but with that brief contact I swear I felt my whole body heat up like a furnace. Zero was never the one to make the first move. I kind of like that about him, how unpredictable he was, though sometimes it would be nice to know his next move. After telling him that I was uncomfortable around Kaname now, it was like something sprung alive in him that I have never seen before. As we continued to walk around campus, I happened to look up at Zero while he was scanning the empty grounds. 'Oh my god' was the only thing I could think of when he looked down at me, his hair slightly shaded his eyes, it a mysterious kind of way. Something about his smile just shook my heart at that moment. As I was looking back at him I couldn't help myself, I reached for his arm and intertwined my arm with his. As if I needed him to anchor me down or I would float away. I could feel him loosen up and letting me fall into his tall frame. For a short moment in time I was completely happy, and with someone who I never thought I would end up loving. Then reality came crashing down and I realized that this may be wrong, but I wanted it, wanted him, so badly.
A few days after our little moment, I was still feeling a little shy about expressing myself to Zero like that. And I'm pretty sure everyone knew it too. Everytime I would stand next to Zero I would get nervous and try to move away from him just enough to calm myself down. Call me childish but I'm sorry that's just how I am. After we supervised the switch over, I headed straight back to my room to catch up on some homework. More really to catch up on some sleep. The past couple of days have been pretty calm and collected so I thought to myself I deserve more sleep. When I opened my door, I immediately threw off my top layer of clothing on the floor and proceed to my dresser in search of something more comfortable. While searching through my stuff I happened to look up into my vanity mirror and seen a shiny item on my desk. It wasn't there before I left this morning so someone didn't want me to see them place it there. I quickly threw on a tank top and shorts and practically ran to this mysterious item. When I picked it up I seen that is was my favorite chocolate bar. I was so excited about chocolate I barely seen the note that was beside it. "Here, this is for making me feel an emotion the other day. Z" It was a nice gesture for him to thank me like that and it was so sweet of him to remember what my favorite chocolate was. Sometimes Zero astonishes me with the little things he does, the more he does them, the more I fall in love with him.
From that day on is when I knew in my heart that loved Zero and never wanted to be apart from him. I would catch myself paying close attention to him, I tried not to be stalkerish but I noticed the little things he would change every day. I also noticed that Zero would stare at me, at first it thought it was kind of strange for him to act that way. I thought it was just in my head but the more time we spent together the more obvious it was. There would be times where I would try to catch him in the act but I was always too late. Zero is very fast when it came to being sneaky. I have only caught him twice, and he would turn every shade of red there was. I'm not going to lie that quick glances at me had a major effect on my self esteem. I'm pretty sure I convinced myself that he needed me in every way possible. I would often play with the idea that one day Zero would become a true vampire and he would no longer need to feed.
Yes, when I first found out that Zero was a vampire, a level E at that, I was very upset. Not the fact that he was a vampire but that he didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on with that part of his life. That really pissed me off to no end. I mean we spent most of our childhood together, we knew each other like the back of our hands, and Zero still chose to keep me out of the loop. Even Kaname knew what was going on, I know that it wasn't his business to tell, but someone could have at least gave me a heads up. After I found out about Zero and the vampire world, I decided that I needed and wanted to keep Zero around me, I know it's kinda selfish but he was all I really had. I know I have the Headmaster but an adult didn't know what was really going on in the teenage world. Sometimes it can be scary not having a friend that wasn't around my age. So that's the main reason why I choose to give him my blood when he needs it, now the other reasons were just as important too. I truly enjoyed his company, his tutoring lessons were very helpful and his small gestures were greatly appreciated. It showed me that he really did care about me, even if it was something small. It took alot for Zero to do a small gesture for me, well what I really mean was it is VERY rare. And it can be anything from buying me my favorite candy to a handwritten note left in my room. But from where we started at to now, I'd say he has come a long way.
A few days later...
It was friday evening and the weekend was approaching fast. I was so ready to be done with the weekly patrols. Most of the students, day and night classes, left campus to go home and spend the weekend with their loved ones. Yay me, I get to stay here and look at the empty grounds. As I'm getting ready to start the final patrol, father called me to his office to inform me of a 'situation'. So before I started my patrol I dragged my ass up to father's office to see what he needed. With no surprise he had chosen me to go and find Zero for an important meeting. "Yuuki, I know I ask a lot from you when it comes to him but let's be honest, you would find him faster than I would." Father rolled his eyes at his own comment. "Yes I know but I hate looking for him when he doesn't want to be found." I said with a heavy sigh. Zero liked to disappear whenever he was needed for anything. It always irritated me when father assumed I knew exactly where Zero was at any given moment. Father sounded upbeat when I halfway agreed to look for him. "You always say that you and Zero know each other like the back of your hand." I rolled my eyes and turned towards the door "Maybe I should stop saying stuff like that so I don't have to look for him all the time." Father laughed at me and I shut the door behind me. I started making a mental list of where I knew he would possibly be, the horse stables were always my first choice, Zero never seems to leave that place whenever he gets a chance to stray that way.
With my destination in mind, I made my way outside of the main building. I started heading towards the back end of the school. The stables were a ways from campus and I had about and hour before I had to start patrols, I was running on hope that Zero would be there tending to his horse. Now I'm a pretty slow person so if I was going to find him in less than an hour, I was going to have to start running. I hated running anywhere so Zero is going to have to pay for this. As I jogged up to the stables, out of breath and sweaty, I took a quick look around and there was no movement anywhere. Usually when Zero takes care of White Lily he has her out of her stall and walking around freely. There was no sign of White Lily being let out of her stall meant that there was no Zero around either. Just to make sure that he wasn't taking a nap I took a walk through the entire stables. Ever single horse that was in that stable came straight up to me and wanted some 'lovins', except for Zero's horse. She always gave me trouble but I wasn't the only one. That was until Zero came along and she seem to attached herself to him. He was the only one that could get close enough to touch her, so by father's command White Lily was his responsibility. I stopped when she came in my sight, and openly I asked her "Have you seen Zero. I can't find him." As if she knew what I was saying she whinnied and turned away from me. So he hasn't been here all day since White Lily was made at him too. "Huh" was the only word I could muster, and I immediately turned around and started heading towards the school. Cursing Zero under my breath, he knows that I don't like running around looking for him like a lost puppy.
The second place for me to look was the courtyard right by the school. Zero was there every now and then and it was a long shot to find him there. I never really knew why he chose that spot, there are a lot of trees on campus and every single one of them have thick fluffy grass underneath them so why was this specific tree to special. This tree he sat at was a rather tall tree and it did seem the patch of grass was extra fluffy and always grew in that one spot. So I think I can see his favoritism. On warm sunny days he always seemed to spend his time here and fall asleep under that tree. I tried to join him a few times, but to me it was uncomfortable to just sit and relax. Sometimes I would pass by the courtyard on patrol and see him asleep under that tree, thinking to myself that I need to be extra quiet. Most likely he hasn't slept well from his nightmares and I wasn't going to be one to disturb him. I closed in on the school buildings that surrounded the courtyard and I slowed my pace. Still reminding myself to be quiet so I wouldn;t wake him up if he was asleep over under that tree. But as I suspected he was not there, I was disappointed in not having a easy task of find him but that just wouldn't be Zero. Something would be wrong in the world if I found Zero on the first try. Now he was slowly starting to get on my nerves, don't get me wrong, I was trying to not to let it bother me. I really, really just wanted to get this last patrol done and over with and go back to my room and get some much needed sleep. It's kind of hard to function when sleep is the only thing that is on your mind. Now I had one more option as to where he could be, his own room in boys dorm. If he wasn't there at all I was giving up and go straight back to my room to crash, and forget the patrol, if they found Zero he can sure as hell take over the last patrol for me. So he better be there or I am going to explode.
As I made my way to the boys dorm, I was starting to get more and more annoyed at Zero. This was not like him at all to be back in his room this early. Here lately he seemed off, I wonder what has been bugging him, has this meeting been on his mind. Maybe I need to talk to him just to make sure that he is calmed down enough for this meeting. As I approached his door I noticed that it was slightly cracked open, aha finally he was somewhere I could find him. I can now drag him back to father for making me chase him all over the campus. So without thinking I stormed straight in and I froze in my track when I seen a very handsome, very naked Zero. He was drying his hair with nothing but a towel around his neck, when he heard me gasp it was like he froze too. We both stood there with eyes on each other, not wanting to make a sudden movement. Zero finally cleared his throat "Ahem, Uh Yuuki what are you doing." With the sudden loudness of his voice my eyes instantly went straight to his bear back, I tried my hardest to move or even turn away but I just couldn't. It seemed like an eternity before my body responded to any of my brain signals to flee or turn around. Then all at once I quickly moved and my face instantly burned red with blush. I finally covered my eyes with my hands, more so to try and hide my red cheeks. I had to say something so I shouted. "Zero! What the hell?" Looking through my fingers, Zero still didn't move a muscle to try and cover himself up. In a clam tone he said "This is my private room Yuuki. I figured you would have knocked on the door like you always do." He added a twisted smile on his face to make the situation a little bit awkward. As soon as I seen that smile I knew he was trying to test me."Oh you think this is funny Zero! You knew the Headmaster needed you for a meeting today! So you knew I would be looking for you!" I tried to calm myself but nothing was working. Zero had the nerve to throw another smirk at me. "Well if that meeting was so important then the Headmaster should have came for me himself, don't you think." He said with a small chuckle. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow towards Zero, "Next time I'll let father know to fetch you himself then."
While still standing in the same place he took the towel from around his neck and rifled his wet silver hair. As if to try and tease me, he brought the towel down from his hair and very slowly wrapped it around his waist. I seen him attempt to tightened it but after letting go it just fell down loosely and stopped right above the slight V in his stomach. He turned towards me and very slowly started making his way over to me. I started to panic, I never thought that he would come at me naked. I was so nervous, I didn't know a single thing about that kind of stuff. I mean I haven't had my first kiss yet and here he was coming towards me with nothing but a towel between us. Zero then walked past me and close the door behind me. He looked over his shoulder and smoothly said "You know Yuki I'm still trying to get dressed, so you could at least close the door behind you so nobody else can see in." Coming out of my panic attack I just barely registered what he said to me. "Yeah ok, I'm sorry Zero, I'm still kinda in shock from barging in on you like this." I said with a shy voice. "What. Yuuki I know this is not the first time that you've seen me like this. There have been times where I've been practically naked and you still didn't bat an eye." Zero started to sound confused with my current actions and emotions. "Well this time it's a little different Zero. I'm not really sure what to think of it actually." I said as I shuffled my feet back and forth. "Oh really, how so Yuuki. Is there something that you want to tell me." He tried to tease me with a small smile. "Well Zero that is really for me to know and for you to find out. EVENTUALLY." I spat with a smirk. "Ok then, I'll have to get that info from you one way or another." He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'll take that challenge Zero but you must know I'm a master at keeping secrets." I gave him a small smirk of my own. I then rushed over to his door trying not to give him time to answer me back. I reached for the door knob, I turned my head towards him and softly said. "I'll be waiting for you out here. Please hurry up, I have to return you to father before I can go back to my room and get some decent sleep." I then turned the door knob and pushed the door open. I tried to gracefully to walk out of his room but bumped the door frame and almost knocked myself to the floor. I picked myself up from the frame and swiftly shut his door. When I heard the soft click of his door shutting behind me I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. I leaned up against the wall and cover my face with my hands, I was still too embarrassed to admit what happened in his room. I didn't want to replay the scene over in my mind, but it automatically happened and at a slower pace. My mind wanted to make sure I caught every detail in that shocking 10 minutes that I was in his room. I don't know if it was me but the way he handled himself in such a calm way, I'm starting to think that he is trying to catch my attention. I can tell you one thing, It sure as hell worked!
