kind of dark, not my favorite but oh well.
-
-
Paddles hitting her chest
and her body jerking as 50 volts go surging through her small frame.
You can't hear yourself screaming her name, but you are.
The people with the masks over their mouths wont let you see her, but you can, you still can
because you watch as those damn paddles hit her chest again and someone screams
.
' C l e a r '
.
You don't know if that endless beeping is just your mind running a muck,
or if that's coming from the lifeless girl who's lying in the bed with blood running down her face.
Your minds cloudy and you can't really see straight, you just know people are grabbing at you,
either telling you to get away from her room or that they need to help you.
Of course you are aware of the crimson stain on your new designer leather jacket,
and yes you are aware that its getting bigger by the second and god it hurts.
.
'CLEAR'
.
And you're being held back by someone as you try to make a break for the door to her room,
because you can still see her through the door, surrounded by all the doctors in white who are yelling directions and words that just run together,
you can't understand any of it.
You want to tell them to help her,
to save her,
don't hurt her,
don't touch her hair, she doesn't like when people touch her hair.
God, you just want to be beside her, telling her that you're sorry,
godammit you're so sorry because it was your fault.
It was, but you'd know she'd forgive you immediately and tell you it was an accident.
She'd tell you that if she was able to,
but she can't, because the paddles hit her chest one last time and you can see the look on the doctors face when they pull away from her.
She looks so helpless and cold and ruined.
You ruined her, you ruined her.
Another scream rips through your chest as you finally escape the hold they have on you.
It's like everything's happening in slow motion, and you are deafened from the 'Get out of here!' and protests coming from the doctors and you push past them to see you're Sonny,
Yes yours because that's what she's always been. She's always been Your Sonshine.
.
The last time you had cried was when Portlyn left on Mackenzie Falls, but suddenly you find these surreal water drops coming from your swollen eyes.
Don't leave me Don't leave me Don't leave me Don't leave me,
You can't hear anything but that damn beeping sound.
And its starts getting slower as you grab the sides of her face and put your forehead to hers.
DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME,
And you stay there like that,
Holding her and apologizing over and over and over again,
And suddenly, the beeping's gone, and your dimly aware of the doctors who have left the room.
One constant beep deafens you, and for the moment you pretend like you don't know what it means.
-
Accidents happen.
It was an accident when you started to wonder about the new girl with the pretty hair,
It was an accident when you blurted out you liked her, and cared about her.
It was an accident when you fell in love with Sonny Munroe,
And it was an accident.
No way of stopping it, no way of controlling it.
Not when the car hit you at 100 miles per hour,
Not when it was her side of the car that was hit.
It was a car accident,
She died because of a freak accident.
And Chad Dylan Cooper wonders every day,
why people still say,
'Everything happens for a reason.'
-
