Perverts in a Pocket

Title: Perverts in a Pocket

Pairing: MasaYuki, IeYuki, MitsuYuki (All for UKE!Yuki)

Genre: Yaoi, Comedy, Friendship

Summary: A/U. Yukimura is a poor lonely boy. He decided to do a simple suicide but got a couple friends instead. But did he really need friends who kept looking for a chance to slip their hands into his pants?

A/N: Forgive me for any grammar error, I'm not that good in english but I did my best (really)! Now, please relax, grab your soda and popcorn, enjoy the story. :)


Plan 1: It's not so hard to Kiss Death, now is it?

Whenever the school bell rang, the whole student would rush out screaming for freedom. The rest of their activities were depended on each person, it would be different for everyone. Some of them often crashed on the arcade or their friend's house for fun. While for them who had money to burn or at least enough for them to get extra course, tutors would start singing while taking a penny bath. Of course it wasn't exactly what they did every day. For example there was this one kid.

Teenagers in high school had so many requirements they needed to fulfill, reconsidering their daily necessity. Parents usually grumbled about such troublesome matters, as if their sons or daughters were begging for something peculiar. But this boy was different. He didn't ask for pocket money, he didn't ask for new clothes and he didn't even remember when the last time he was pouting for present. It wasn't because he had no lifetime wish or whatsoever; he just didn't have a place to put his pleas.

Sanada Yukimura, 17 years old, was currently living all by himself with no relative on his small rundown apartment.

"Okay, that's enough for today! Good work, everyone!" Shimazu Yoshihiro, the head of Construction Company shouted, closing the work hour on that day. It was dark already when the entire worker cheering to go home, including Yukimura. Working as an ironworker was harder than he thought at first, but it was worth his sweat. At least the payment was nice enough.

Veering his bones sharply until accidentally almost breaking it to pieces became a normal program to write in Yukimura's journal. He wasn't a rich man to begin with; even debts were pilling on his account waiting to be settled. It wasn't exactly his; but since his parents ran away somewhere nobody, even their own son, knew it automatically passed to him. Just what were they thinking when leaving him behind? That incident happened about three years ago; which meant he was only 14 back then. Abandoning a 14 years old kid with mountain-high debts to sweep off was a serious criminality!

Thank God Yukimura managed to survive his hard, winding life. Waking up so early before the chickens started to crow and falling asleep after the owls went back to their nest; he almost died because of exhaustion a couple times. Since he was too busy with work, his progression at school was on dangerous line. Study and work were impossible parts to combine in one course; not to remind his problem with money. If he wasn't studying he wouldn't be able to climb to the next grade. But if he didn't work... where would he get the money? Robbing? Yeah, right, as if he would be able to do it.

Like the dilemma he had in his melodramatic life wasn't sufficient, the students at school were avoiding him. The reason was out of his logic. Someone spread news about him selling his body to get money. Just because he was poor didn't mean he could hand his only precious body to a sweaty old man! Moreover, he was a guy inside out! How could two guys do it with each other? Yukimura didn't know where they got such a thought with no fact and cogitation.

But those persons at school, even the teachers, treated him differently because of the false rumor. The silliness of life almost drove Yukimura closer to madness. But that was alright; he could handle it. At least he had a purpose to reach; the only thing that made him hold on in this seriously cruel life. First he would make enough money and finish his study. Cared not for those demonic tongues, let those wolfs in disguise talked as they please. And then, after he had so much cash he could count it no more; he would pay for all his debts and use the rest to go somewhere to start a new bright life.

It was perfect! Well, at least for him it was perfect. So right now, the most important thing to do was doing as what he was being told at his work with no further objection. Just say yes to everything and his plan would be so smooth he could skate over it. Just say yes... Yes.

"Yukimura, you're fired."

"Yes?" Yukimura puzzled, his smile frozen like an ice carving. Did he just hear it wrong? "Um... Yoshihiro-san, c-could you... Could you please repeat that...? I-I was a little distracted and... Ah...?"

"You're fired," Yoshihiro replied so clearly it felt like a second heavy strike for Yukimura's temporary weak soul. The young man gapped as if he got a mild heart attack and dropped his jaw so wide everyone sparing him a stare.

"What? But... Why?"

"Why, you ask? Humph, such a foolish question you got there! The answer is simple, Sanada Yukimura!" he roared and drank the very last drip of his sake. Yukimura waited patiently for explanation like a docile puppy. "It's because...!" Yoshihiro continued, pointing at Yukimura's kneeling form. "You have no talent in this job!"

"H-huh?" Yukimura took a couple steps back, staggering as if a brick wall was beating him.

"You just started working here yesterday and give me thousands grain of loss! You ordered wrong materials in such a lot of amount, gave a wrong address to the food delivery service and also placed those irons not at the right place! You ruined the design into the root!"

Yukimura bit his lower lips and avoided any contact with Yoshihiro. It wasn't that old man's fault for firing him; the mistake was at his responsibility. To tell the truth, Yukimura was kind of surprise when he accepted him to work as an ironworker when he signed up. First, he had no experience at that carrier. Letting a minor who had no idea about what to do was a stride to bring the whole efforts into disrepair. And second, the most important reason Yukimura got a third thought about stopping before it was too late, his history of work ever since he started was seriously black he saw no other color in it.

There was this time he looked for a job as a waiter at a family restaurant. It would be easy; serving food to the costumer and welcoming them who searched for something to eat. Piece of cake, he thought so. But who knew that letting him into this type of task guided the place into the bankruptcy? Nobody. Yukimura couldn't remember which table asked for what and often pressed a wrong button when changing his job as a cashier. It only took a month and the restaurant resigned from operation.

Not to forget about his time as hospital janitor. He worked for the night and heard a voice of wind. It would be alright in the broad daylight, but the sound changed 180 degree when you caught it when the sun was hiding. Yukimura ran so wild he didn't realize how many things he knocked down and how many glass he broke in process. He got fired on the next day without his first payment.

Also he once was working as a newspaper porter, a part-timer at McDonald, a worker at the flourish and a tutor of lower secondary school's kid. Like before, he failed completely; even worse when the kid he tutored asked if he really was a high school's student.

But he couldn't fail in this one! It took so much of him to find this job since the news of his incapability spread so fast like a missile. He had a dream to grasp!

"Yoshihiro-san, please...! I need this job to make a living!" Yukimura begged, pouring his unpredictable sparkle to the max limit. He couldn't give in now. "Please... At least my payment-..."

"Payment? You dare to talk about payment? After what you've-...!"

"Um... I change my mind, excuse me."

Before Yoshihiro got a chance to chop him into something he didn't have guts to imagine, Yukimura slipped out from the slightest crack he found and escaped. That was a close call. If he tried to boil the blood in that old man's vein even hotter, it wouldn't be just payment he lost from grip. Even his state of condition would be at stake. Maybe letting the money flew away this time was a good idea to consider, as long as he was safe for obvious threat. Well... not be able to eat for the following weeks could be counted as a threat as well.

At this kind of situation he really could use some help for sure. For this kind of occasion, Sarutobi Sasuke's name dropped on the very first place on the please-help-me list. That man was Yukimura's best friend ever, always be there for him in any kind of situation. Anywhere and anytime, just spell his name three times and he would show out of the thin air. Yukimura trusted him more than anyone; but of course not more than his awesome-super-fabulous-wise-and-stronger-than-you-could-hoping-for Guardian, Takeda Shingen.

But that was long time ago when he was a child. Takeda vanished from his life without news when he was graduated from elementary. Thinking about those times tickled Yukimura he kept giggling. When he found out that Takeda was out of his reach and contact, he was crying like never and spending his tears for one-week bribe.

Yukimura snapped himself out from his sweet memories. Now he had to make a call, it was a good thing he put Sasuke's number on top since he had such a bad capability to memorize so much numbers in a row. Yukimura quickly groped his pocket only to find it empty then continued with the others with same result. The phone he was looking for wasn't there.

"My phone...? Oh, maybe I left it on my bag," he tapped his knuckle on his palm with a bulb shone brightly on top of his head. If he recalled correctly, he always put the bag on his bicycle. "Now where did I park my...?"

"Yukimura!" a young man waved his hand toward Yukimura, calling his name so loud as if he was using a microphone to speak. Yukimura was a noisy boy too, but he took his lose in this competition against that man. Miyamoto Musashi, another ironworker like him, always be the champion if dirty mouth and rudeness were combated. "Hey! I heard you got fired!"

"You don't have to say it so loud like that," Yukimura grumbled. "A-anyway... Did you, by any chance, see my bicycle around here? I forgot where I parked it."

"Your bicycle...?"

"Yes. There's a red bag on top of it so it should be easy to recognize."

"Red bag...? Oh, you mean that one!" Musashi understood the one Yukimura mentioned. "A middle-aged man with a scarf covered half of his face took it not long ago."

"... Excuse me?"

"Yup, I remember it! I saw it when that man took the bike with him. You're talking about the one with red bag, right? If I recalled it correctly, the bag has a symbol like some kind of coins... That's yours?"

"Musashi-dono! Why didn't you stop him?" Yukimura exploded but still able to maintain his politeness. He couldn't let the anger devour him and make him lose his temper. But yeah, he already lost most part of it.

"Moron! That's not mine so it's not my business!" Musashi answered with extra block of proud meter, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a victory pose. "Moreover, what if that man brought a weapon or something? I don't want to bet my life on the line for something like that!"

There, everything was over. First he lost his only job, and then he also lost his bicycle plus his phone. God, did he do something so wrong he deserved this kind of punishment? Wasn't this seemed a little bit too much? Now that he lost his phone, he had no way to contact Sasuke. That lad lived so far from Yukimura's current position. He could always use the phone at his apartment to keep in touch with him, begging like a cute innocent kid for help. But then again he had no number to press in mind.

Half-hearted accepting the treatment his destiny offered to him, Sanada Yukimura could only force an awkward laugh with tears pouring. He was doomed.

*_SnBs_*

A lot of people in Japan committed a suicide when they lost their hope or failed to reach their dream. So it wouldn't be so weird for Yukimura to do an exactly same thing. Walking all alone with nobody by his side to prompt him a sheer of happiness, Yukimura went back from his ex-work place. His mind was extremely busy at this very moment. Not because he built a plan of survival for this week, but because he tried to find the easiest way to brace death.

Yup, he lost his hope to survive. This world was cruel and he knew it, but he still persisted to hold on. But every human had their own limit and someday the time for them to give up would come. And now it was Yukimura's turn. He lost his job, his phone, his old bicycle (it was such a shock someone was actually wanted to steal it) and also the entire content in his bag. His school requirements were in there too, for God's sake!

No friends, no moneys, no places to go except his cold and empty and old and rundown and... And bad apartment. Could anyone please spare him one reason to protect his life? No...? Well, he guessed so.

Now, if he wanted to die... what would he do? He was in the middle of the road... Simple. He could just walk like he saw nothing happened when a car with full speed about to pass by. The car would smash him like a watermelon and he would die in peace. Or maybe he would turn into an angered ghost that loitering around to avenge his death... That seemed unfair somehow. And the one who bumped his car into him would be prisoned and... Yukimura winched at that thought.

He wanted to die but that didn't mean he got a feel to drag someone with him. He was a kind person, or at least he still sane enough to think about other's good.

How about poison? He watched a couple movies where the character drank a poison and ripped their soul apart from their body. It looked kind of painful but... Whatever. Yukimura thought about it for a second. He didn't have anything at home to drink other than water, moreover a poison. Forgive him for being so poor he couldn't afford an easy way to end everything.

That didn't matter. He could always buy something at the store, no problem.

*_SnBs_*

"That costs you 600 yen, Sir," the kind lady behind the cashier smiled so warm it melted Yukimura's blazing spirit. It wasn't because of the bent actually. The amount of money he had to throw was out of his expectation.

Once again, retreating into his endless pit of depression and shame, Yukimura made his run out from the store after imploring a clear apology. His wallet was extra thin it almost went empty. Man, he actually surprised and confused at the same time where he got an idea about surviving the week. With this kind of number, he wouldn't even get a chance to eat a leftover from any restaurant in 2 more days. What made him think he could purchase something?

Ruminating about it just pushed his shattered emotion even deeper toward extinction.

So that was it. Sanada Yukimura grinned and started giggling in the middle of the street where people glancing over him from various direction. Most of them soothed a pity over him, shaking their head with lips clenched tightly. It was such a shame for a young man like him to lose his thought because of financial problem. But no, Yukimura wasn't crazy yet; he still had sanity and healthy mind to start repairing his ruined suicide plan.

Don't care about other people when they cared not for you. After a couple minutes standing like a lost child with nowhere to go, peeking thousands interest from a lot of observers, Yukimura fell into one decision. The cars were skimming so freely like a fish in water; he would go back to the first method. Walking so natural like nothing actually stray him from the path he chose before the fate betrayed him, Yukimura acted normal and carefully waited from the right time to jump over.

Just a second... Wait a bit... Almost there... Now-...!

"Oh God, It's raining!" a lady squeaked, pouting over the dark sky and walking further. Water dripped one after another from above and slowly wetting the earth.

"It's raining?" Yukimura got distracted after one drip of cold liquid landed on the tip of his nose. "Rain...? Oh no! My laundry!" he added a girly scream on the very last sentence and dashed to his so-called home. The plan to kill himself was abandoned, forgotten, completely left with no other following touch.

Sanada Yukimura, 17 years old, was currently losing to his fate and forgot to maintain his suicide strategy.

TBC.


Okaaaaay… That's all for the first chapter. It's only Yukimura for now (God, how I love him) but in the next chapter the other poster boy will make their appearance! But before that… Please tell me what you think. Is it good or is it bad? Review XD

Rie