I expanded the fanfic-within-a-fanfic that I wrote into "Smash Shenanigans," because a full-blown crackfic was too... uh, bad to pass up. I need a place to vent all my deliberate misspellings. And then I tried so hard to be funny that I couldn't even read it anymore. Nyahaha.
I strongly suggest that you do not take this seriously. Style greatly inspired by MerchantAnna's "Luigi's Dating Ventures(aka Luigi Must DIE)." Amazing.
one day in the didny worl of smesh canadalaska, little mac existed.
ilttle mac was a boxar, which ment that he boxed things up. so he used to hung out with snake a lot, except there was this one time when he didnt know snack was in the box so he just sealed the box rlly gud and smake couldnt get out of the box. and that's how snake nevar made it to smesh 4. the end not rly
litwle mac also had spammable side-b and probably the suckiest up-b in all of exactance. this is crucial to the story bc it is how litle mac and a santas helper named link met in smesh canadalaska, short for smeshungry canadalaskaustraliarmeniarkansas.
one day mac was fighting link, the most hottttest (needs moar ts) sowrdman in the srowdman of swrodanms to the 10932th power, in a for lory 2-stcok match. lolol mac spammed the side-b like how ALLMOST EVERY LELE MAC for glory Player SPAMS THE SDIE-B LIKE IT'S GUNNA GET NERFED! but link too gud for that so he just stood at the ow, the edge, and litle mac ploommted to his doom. goodbye mac your life was short but sweet like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.
HOWEVER, as he fell past the blast to the past line for the 2nnd time, he saw lank's chiseled features, those navi blue eyes, dat triumphant smirk tho. lil mac bloshed. handsome ppl + falling to death not rly = falling in love. there is no escsape from the cliche.
mac must had to eccept it. he had a cush on link, the most hottttest (needs moar ts) sowrdman in the srowdman of swrodanms to the 10932th power. everytiem he saw loink in the hallway is face turned red. evertytiem he saw zelda, the 3rd most hot princess in the princess of hyrule warriors, hanging out with lonk, his eyes turnd green with jelly. he loeved link and no one should take it away from him. but litrle mac wasnt a yandere either so is not like he killed zelda. killin people is bad for your health. so he just made xtremely passive aressive remarks to zalda.
she did not like litle mac because he kept telling her secretly mean things. one day after that fateful day, during lunch, she slaped him in the face. everyone in the cafeteria went "OHHHHHH" and everyone in the audience went "OOOOHHH" and the ssb universe grew a mouth and went "OOHHH" bc zelda slaps were srs bsns. talk crap, get slap.
"Little Mac! Stop your snark this instant! I am sick and tired of hearing your passive-arrestive crap!" zelda cried. "What is your problem?!"
"what do you mean 'what is your problem' i think it should be 'what is your problem'." litl mac repliers. "ur not saying it right." he put one hand on his hips and did a hair flip with his middle finger of his other hand and his hair moved slightly with a single twinkly.
everyone went "OOOHHH AGAIN"
"I can't believe you! At least talk with proper capitalization and punctuation!"
"this argument doesnt even make any sense;; haha do you see that i am defying you"
zolda took in a giant breath, ready to go all din's fire and explode. then she sighed hugely. "You know what? I'm going to be the sensible adult here and just ignore you." she got up and strove off with a huff.
it was a good thing too, bc now leitle mac was now alone with his lean green machine who was not luigi.
"dude," mec said.
"wat," link said.
"we should totally start a casual conversation,"
"why not." an then theey conversed casually.
-CASUAL CONVERSATION BRO STATUS ACHIEVED- also known as c-support. three more levels to go b4 they could have official bromance. end scene.
zelda was now stayin away from little mac in the cafeteria. stupid mac anf his passive agrestive remarks. she didnt want to have to deal with him at lunch and decided to hang out with her gurrl-fronds petch, sameus, and t. so mac had no one to interfear in his support building w/ link.
"bruh," mec said, which meant "hey dude."
"bruh," link replied, which meant "ye."
"bruh," (wanna team up next smesh? i think well make a pretty good pair, hint hint wonk wonk.)
"bruh," (i have no idea what you mean by hint hint wonk wonk but uh sure.)
"wow, man. i can't believe we just had an entire conversation consisting entirely of 'bruh'." mac was wow.
"bruh," (well, its its kind of like my native hylian dialect except here were just saying one word with different inflections so theyre not that different.)
"dued, you can stop now," (dued, you can stop now,)
"bruh," (but its actually pretty fun!)
-BRUH BRIGADE STATUS ACHIEVED- aka b-support.
the clock was counting down. in the shadows, behind pittoo and shadow and other edgy people of his kind, zelda plotted a ploy to drive leel mac away from her linky-poo-kun. "unnacceptable," she whispered, scribbling furiously on a notepad. the picture was a really ugly little mac with a giant X on him.
she was so green with envy her dress turned green. then she was slightly happier because her dress matched links! then she was slightly sadder becuase being like this made her no better than cia, the 2nd most hot person in hyrule warriors. then she didnt even care, cia wasnt even going to show up in this fanfic. zelda LAUHED MANIACALLY IN THE DISTANCE! scene end.
the camera cut to zelda's calender which showing all the days of the month up to the 15th x-ed out. today was the day. now was the time for zeldes big paln to go into locomotion. she ripped her fists together tightly and went down to the cafeteria with blank soulless evil eyes just like the villager. villager was now sad that he no more has special eyes.
lele mac and lonki were chatting at the table with their bara bros, ike the bike, show me yo moves, ganondorf, and morth, who wasnt bara but they needed a beuatiful bishonen to keep the bara power in check. they were having conversations about the true purpose of smash consisting of "bruh" again bc link said it was fun and they shold do it again.
"bruh," said ike. (bc i fight for my friends,)
"bruh," said merth. (i fiht for my friends too yknow,)
"bruh," siad lonk (mebbe bc master hand and crazy hand said 'why not')
"bruh," isad captin falcon (so ppl can show me yo moves,)
"bruh," asid ganondorf (for the money, you know its true,)
"U GAIZ IT'S TIEM TO STOP!" SHOUTED a voice that was not bara?!
the bara bros all looked in the direftion of the voiec. it was none other than... ZOLDA?!
"I will not accept this!"
"accept wat" said lonkl.
"Accept this!" zulda pointed straiht at leelelelele mac. she walked over to pit who was innocently enjoying his floor ice cream on the floor. she snatched it from the ground. pits illuminous orbs became wider than orbs and more like shiny white plates.
zelda frowned and her face was so dark so you couldnt see her facial features. "floor ice cream. gross," she snarled. pit started to crey a little. she snerked at the sadly angle and then... sensually licked his floor ice cream! it was tainted forever by zeldas spit. pit bawled his shiny white plates out.
palutna the pole dancer stood up. "how dare you steal pits floor ice cream! only i can steal pits floor ice cream!" she shouted. she picked up a chicken leg and chucked it at zolda.
zolda stepped out of the way and it hit shulk in the back of the head. ike was furrious that some one was misusing chicken! he stood up too.
"IM REALLY FEELIN IT!" and shulk tossed some giant piece of crispy bacon at ike and the other swordsman. ike caught it and charged his neutral-b.
"THE TRUE MEANINGN OF SMISH BRIS! I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS!"
ike stuck his bacon sword into the ground and the food fight started with a boom.
the camere panned from left to riht, surveying the carnage. foods were thrown, ketchup bottles were squirted, many glasses were broken.
master hand arrivd on the scene too late. everyone was KO'd, except for crazy hand who floated above the scene with small ketchup stains.
mh was not amused. "Why didn't you tell me there was a fight sooner?!"
"uh, cause i was in it?" ch twiched nervously.
"ARGH TALK CRAP GET SLAP!" mh yellshouted and he slapped his crappy i mean crazy brother across the hand. "CLEAN UP THIS MESS!"
"yessirree," ch got down to the ground and cleaned up the place.
everyone was now in mh's office. how it managed to fit 50+ smashers in there the world will never know but its funnier if theyre all in there at once.
"I can't ban everyone at once because we wouldn't make any money-"
"bruh," (bruh i knew it was for the money,"
"Shut up, Ganondorf." mh twitchd like ch except he was frustrated and not naturally spazzy. "Who started the food fight?"
zilda pointed at lele mac. everyone else pointed at zelda.
"I never thought you were one to start fights." he paused. "Anyway, Zelda, you're banned from the mansion for a week." he did the finger snap thing and zelda was teleported to an emty house.
"hey luink," said lele max.
"ye," said loink.
"after this lets et some food at a fancy restaurant,"
"sure bruh."
everyone left the office and then elel mac and lpnk went to a nice restaurant.
-ALMOST MORE THAN BRUHS? STATUS ACHIEVED- aka a-support.
zelda was defeated. banned from the mansion for a week. she decided she should just give up on link. she didnt even like him. yes, that was the spirit. she creyed on the empty house bed and held on to a hug pillow of master hand. end scene.
little mack and lenk be they were in some mcCaffe n lillle mac was aeating his rice balls bc he didn't want ppl to tihink he ate big macs ew no cannibalistic here. and even tho his rice balls wsa covered in the spicy he knew. the heat on of his face was rlly because of lonk that spicy dastard. lpnk that smexy twilight princess wolf you.
max had to do fess up he wouldn't get another chance in another 5year. or maYBE NEVER YEAR BC SAKURAI MIGHT NOT MAKE ANOTHER SMISH?! he asked the lank "lenk, bruh. i think it lev you? "ever since i came here to smesh but someow. for some reason. i ended up liking you. it shouldn't even make sense. this must be one of the most crackiest parings in the pears of existance." he blushied sovery hard.
link looked at little mac all dumfuzzled. mac asked the real questions here manbruh. he couldn't lte him down now. he summoned the sparkles (and marth creyed bc that was his job as bishie) and bleshied some too "lilteelt mac, breh. i loev yu too. get into my anus" said lunk.
-SOOPER SMESH BROMANCE STATUS ACHIEVED- aka S-SUPPOERT, TWO SUPPOERT LEVELS IN ONE DAY? UNBELEIVABLE!
little mec was so amaze, his cursh actually had accepted his confession?! he was the 100th happiest man on earth. he like "ye" and he shoveled his rice into links as n thens he climbed into the eynus and ate al the jelly dunuts up. no Link's large intestine was free of poo what do you mean this doesnt make nny sense.
nywaey lele mac ate all the dunots up in links intestins but. lonk had special intestines. lel mac looked at the intsetins and was much amaze becose he was seeing a sanic style special stag with rainbows in the bg! amazin waoh" eh sad. lil mac creyd from the epicness like if u cri evrytiem1
"sugoi rite" laink said. mac says "ye" and leanc shooted "AISHITEROOOOOOO~~~~" tildes included and they blasted off into space much romantically.
buutlove 5ever the end.
i would buttlove it if you much fave, very review, all that jelly donut poo.
In case you were wondering, Tingle is the 1st most hottest princess in the swrodman for woman of Hyrule Warriors to the 24980th power. Everyone loves Tingle. Everyone lives for Tingle. You hate him? Your life is a lie. (laughs)
