Throughout his entire life he had considered himself an honest and responsible man. He was the only one with a level-head and clear, well-constructed thoughts. His common sense was his greatest asset and he used it to his advantage at all times. Hell, he was an intelligent man, too. Properly educated and very skilled in magic, he was quick with a wand and he could easily tell you the history and proper use of any magical creature.
He was just plain smart. Or so, he thought he was smart. It seemed as though his wise decisions were becoming less consistent and it took a great amount of effort to do the right thing. He could have blamed it on his condition; he could have said that it was turning him wild and primitive. But that would be a bold faced lie. He knew he was losing his mind because of her.
From the moment she had stepped into the classroom he knew that his careful way of thinking had come to an end. In the few seconds it had taken her eyes to sweep over him, a warm feeling bubbled up in the pit of his stomach and he could feel himself being pulled towards her. But she was too young for him. Although he had often been told that age was merely a number, he had a feeling that it was more than a number in this particular case.
His eyes caught her every moment and from his position at the front of the room he studied her carefully. He traced the roundness of her face and he took note of the twinkle in her eyes when she smiled. She was the perfect specimen of a growing young woman and his mouth went dry at the thought. It was taboo for a man of his age to yearn for a young girl such as her. But she challenged him with her words and the side-glances. He was being tested and he was determined to win.
It was easy at first to quench the feelings and he restrained himself from being too forward with her, although he wished nothing more than to have her all for himself. She is too young for you, he would remind himself as he passed her in the corridor. As he walked, he could feel her eyes on his back and his hands would tremble. The corridor was empty and her footsteps had slowed, but he would not turn around. He kept moving until he rounded the corner where he was able to tremble and fall apart in peace.
She had to know the effect that she had on the poor man. But if she knew, she had not let on and that drove him mad. He would meet her gaze and she would hold it, causing him to look away first. She knows. He was certain of it. Why else would she go out of her way to torment him so? He could barely think straight long enough to form a complete sentence when she was near. The only thing on his mind seemed to be her flushed cheeks and thin, pink lips. She would be the death of him.
She was everywhere he went, making it impossible to avoid her. In order to speak to Harry, he would need to brave her cheery greeting first. The words stumbled over his lips and he gave her a curt nod before turning to dive directly into another conversation. Her casual interruptions would throw him off track and he could not help but stare at her until he could find his words again.
Eventually, he had managed to successfully devise a plan that kept her far away and it had been weeks since he had had an encounter with her. But his plan went straight out the window the day she set foot into his office.
"Come in," his tired eyes never left the parchment he was scribbling words onto as the door opened. But he didn't need to look up to know who was walking towards him. The air seemed to grow heavy and thick and the back of his neck grew hot.
"Professor Lupin," the name slid smoothly over her lips and he swallowed hard.
"Yes?" He continued to keep his eyes down as he lowered his quill. His hands shook as she inhaled sharply.
"I have a question about that last assignment we turned in," she was standing so close to the front of his desk that her skirt was touching it. His trembling intensified. "I didn't think I did so well on that one and I wanted to discuss it with you."
Finally, he looked up with a thin smile. "Hermione," he said her name slowly and the sound of it sent his insides into a frenzy. "I handed that paper back today and you know you had a perfect score on it. I'm not sure what you don't feel confident about."
She blinked at him as her cheeks turned a bright red. "O-oh…" She traced a circle on the worn wood of the desk before glancing at him. "I should go then. Sorry for bothering you, it was silly of me to panic over nothing."
She looked dejected and again, his mouth went dry. He was anxious for her to leave so he could calm himself down, but she gave no sign of moving. He held his breath as her shoulders rose and fell heavily, "One more thing, Professor Lupin, I…"
She didn't need to say another word. He was on his feet and had her in his arms in seconds. Without hesitation he pressed his dry lips to hers and her body stiffened before she returned his feverish kiss with one of her own. Her small body leaned into him and he lifted her up and turned around to set her on the desk, ignoring the thuds and thumps of objects falling to the floor. Her arms wound around his neck and his fingers tangled in her untamed curls.
After a while, his hands wandered down along her arms before resting on her thighs. He waited to see if she would protest, but she continued to kiss him wildly and so he slipped a hand beneath her skirt. He felt her body shudder against him and his excitement grew as a soft cry escaped her lips. He could have her right now should he choose to. She was more than willing as she tightened her hold on him and wrapped her legs around his waist.
He pulled his hand away and broke the kiss to look at her. Her eyes were gleaming wildly and her lips were swollen from their heated kissing.
"No," he said firmly as he found the resolve he had been lacking. She tilted her head slightly to the side and studied him in confusion. "I will not. I cannot."
Tears formed in her eyes and she nodded slowly as he stepped away to allow her to scoot off of the desk. She straightened her skirt and pulled herself up to her full height. She stood quiet and as still as a statue for what seemed like an eternity before she spoke.
"Thank you for your time, Professor," she said shortly before turning and walking briskly through the door.
He leaned against the edge of the desk for a while before he slid to the floor. Remus buried his face in his hands and wept; he had tried so hard to keep away but he had caved.
He was a monster for nearly taking the innocence of a girl. Never again would he be able to look her in the eyes. She was innocent and unable to stop herself from giving into her unknown desires and he had been searching for something to keep himself from facing the truth.
Perhaps… perhaps he would find a way to make things right someday.
