Werewolves of London

Author: marauderette-47

Disclaimer: I solomnely swear that I do not own;)

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is just a short one-shot idea that I had while listening to the oldies station with my dad the other day;) This song came on, and naturally – being the Harry Potter/Marauder Freak I am – I thought of Remus:D Enjoy!


"How did you manage to get a Muggle driver's license, Jamsies?" Sirius Black wondered aloud, as he looked at all the shiny bits and bobbins on James's brand new Muggle car. Himself, James – who was driving – and Remus and Peter - who were in the backseat – were all driving to Evans's house to 'surprise' her with the fact that James could drive. She'd be so bloody proud.

"Confunded the test administrator, of course, Paddy." James grinned. "How else?"

"And why exactly was it so important for you to learn how to drive a car again, Prongs?" Remus wondered from the backseat.

"Because," James explained carefully. "When Lily sees how much effort I put into learning to drive for her, she'll be so elated that she'll want to marry me."

There was an awkward silence in the car before Sirius said slowly, "Mate…you're only 18."

"Yes," James agreed. "And with the war raging on worse every day, I might not make it to 19. And I'll have wanted to marry Lily before my death, wouldn't I've?"

"True that." Sirius agreed playfully, pushing strange and random buttons on the dashboard. "Hey, what does this shiny button do?"

"Paddy, don't touch any-" James began. But it was too late. Sirius pressed the button in, and loud music began blaring from speakers all through the car.

"Whoa!" Sirius grinned. "Awesome! Music! Turn it up!"

"I don't know how." James laughed. "And I'm driving. You figure it out, Pads."

Sirius finally figured how to turn the volume on the radio up, and he and James burst out laughing when they heard the first line of the song that was playing.

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand.

"WHAT?" Remus screeched, glaring at Peter as he snickered.

"What?" Peter defended. "Moony, it's funny!"

"What's funny about making fun of werewolves?" demanded Remus, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Moony, lighten up!" Sirius grinned. "Imagine me and Jamesies wrote it. You'll enjoy it more."

Remus rolled his eyes, but found himself tapping his foot with the rhythm of the beat.

Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain.

He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fooks

Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein.

"This is the stupidest song ever written," Remus grumbled.

"Exactly!" James chortled. "Making it that much easier to imagine that we wrote it. Turn it up, Sirius."

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

"Oh my Merlin!" Sirius laughed. "Howl Moony, howl!"

"No!" Remus said, trying to keep a smile off his face. "I'm not howling to that infernal tune!"

"Fine!" James laughed. "Then we will. Ready Paddy?"

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

James and Sirius wailed like banshees, and Remus had to cover his ears they were so bloody awful. They laughed and laughed as they sang higher and higher until their voices cracked.

"Oh, for the love of magic, stop!" Remus groaned. "I'll howl the rest of the bloody song if it'll shut you two up!"

"Really?" Sirius gasped happily, looking as though Christmas had come early. "Then sing, Moony, sing!"

You hear him howlin' round your kitchen door

You better not let him in.

"But if you don't let him in he'll be hungry!" Sirius moaned.

"Yeah!" James agreed whole-heartedly. "And we know how moody Moony gets when he's hungry!"

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Remus complained

Little old lady got mutilated late last night.

Werewolves of London again.

"Unless that 'little old lady' was Wallburga Black, I don't see me being too happy 'bout that." Sirius mumbled. Remus, meanwhile, was surprising all by laughing.

"That's so out there!" Remus guffawed. "Louder, Paddy! I want to howl!"

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

Now, all the Marauders howled loudly with equal fervor. Remus's howl was eerily bone-chilling, and even Peter was frightened of it. But James and Sirius were having a ball as the Marauders howled in unison:

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

He's the hairy, hairy gent who ran amuck in Kent

Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair

You better stay away from him.

"Wow, Moony." James said. "You're not doing your kind's Muggle stereotype any good at all – you're not hairy in the least! And when was the last time you ran amuck, huh? When we had to drag you out of the common room to go to the kitchens with us?"

"This is so weird!" Remus laughed. "It's like the Muggles' view of wizards – when would we ever cast 'Hocus Pocus'?"

"When we're trying to scare the snot out of Muggles," Sirius shrugged evilly. "Now shut up, all of you! We're missing the words!"

He'll rip your lungs out, Jim.

Huh, I'd like to meet his tailor.

"How would one go about tearing someone's lungs out?" Remus wondered. "I imagine it would be rather difficult, to get through all the cartilage and bone-"

"Remus-" Sirius said, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. "Have you never seen your wolfy teeth? They're huge! You could rip apart a troll!"

"Really?" Remus mused. "Hm. I never imagined myself doing that. Might be something to try, next full moon."

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

Ahooo! Werewolves of London! Ahooo!

When the Marauders pulled up to Lily Evans's housel, the windows of the car were completely rolled down, and the song Werewolves of London was blasting out of their speakers. Over and over and over again. And the Marauders were howling like idiots.

Lily heard the commotion of her neighbors, naturally, and ran outside as quickly as she could. When she saw the sight of her boyfriend and his friends acting like immature prats, she whacked herself on the forehead, and ran to them.

"What on earth are you four doing?" she demanded. Sirius laughed at her.

"Ah, c'mon Evans! It's called fun! Get rid of that wand up your-" but James cut his best mate off.

"We-were-coming-to-surprise-you!" James panted between laughs. "But-we-heard-this-song-on-the-way-and-we-couldn't-stop-laughing! So-we-stopped-at-this-Muggle-music-store-and-bought-the-CD-and-it's–on-repeat!"

"How long has it been on repeat?" Lily asked, raising one red eyebrow.

"Three hours!" Remus laughed. "Lily, it's so funny, the way you Muggles think of us! I can definitely see me dancing the Werewolves of London with the Queen!"

Lily shook her head, and walked away like she'd never met the Marauders before. Count on them to turn a simple song into a news-worthy event. But as she sat on her couch later that night, she found herself unable to stop humming the catchy howl.


I love this song now! I know that it was kind of short and random, but I had fun writing it, so I hope you had fun reading it! Please review!

~marauderette-47