A Brother's Love
Summary:After Conrad returns and is exonerated, he and Wolfram have a chat, about reconciliation and what, exactly, Conrad means to his two brothers.
Conrad looked up as a knock sounded on his door. He'd ridden into the Castle that morning. Since then, he'd taken a long walk around the grounds, then gone to his rooms, unpacking his few possessions and allowing himself to enjoy the experience of being home. He'd thought for the longest time that it wouldn't ever happen. He thought he'd lost his home to the demands of the Great One. He pushed the thought away. "Enter."
The door shoved open and Wolfram stalked inside. He studied Conrad a moment, a serious expression on his face, then pushed the door closed behind him. "I want to talk to you."
Conrad blinked. He couldn't remember the last time Wolfram had actually sought him out for conversation. At least, not without Yuri or someone else beside him. "Well, I certainly don't mind, but I have to admit...this is a little odd."
"I don't care. I have some things I want to say to you." There was a stubborn look in the emerald eyes.
"I see. And you couldn't say them at dinner?" He'd joined his family and Gunter for dinner only a few hours ago, and Wolfram had been characteristically silent then.
"No." Wolfram stared at him for a long moment, then stepped forward to place a surprisingly gentle hand on his left arm, over the place where his original arm had been severed. "Is it bothering you? Should I call Giesela? Or...I could use some of my magic, if it's paining you."
Conrad blinked. Wolfram was offering to help him? That was even more rare than Wolfram speaking to him. They backed each other when duty called for it, and were united in their protection of Yuri, but that was it. Or at least, it had been. He pulled his thoughts together. "No. It's quite all right. It healed perfectly well, I promise you." He paused. "Wolfram...what's this really about?"
"Nothing. Can't I just come to see how my older brother is doing?" Wolfram scowled at him. "You've hardly showed yourself all day, except for dinner. Gwendal and Greta were both fretting about it. Even Gunter was. It's only natural that I would want to make sure you were well."
Conrad stared at his younger brother, shocked. "I thought you didn't want to acknowledge that I was your older brother, since my father is a human." He didn't mean for the words to come out as challenging as they sounded.
Wolfram snorted. "Things are different now." He moved to the window, clearly uncomfortable, and clearly unwilling to leave. "It's hard, having a half-human brother when everyone around you hates humans. After all, even Gwendal didn't like your father, he said so. Besides...I've always known you might one day leave, they way you used to disappear when we were children. I knew you were from Big Cimarron originally. That there was a chance you would someday side with the humans, and leave us. Of course I wouldn't want to have a brother I was only going to lose." He sighed. "But things are different now."
"Are they really?" Conrad studied his brother's slim back.
Wolfram snorted again. "Of course they are. Haven't you been paying attention to what Yuri is doing?" He grimaced. "Yuri may be the ultimate, soft-hearted, naïve wimp but...he really wants a world where humans and demons get along. And despite his spineless way of doing things, he actually seems like he might be able to succeed. After all, look at the Alliance we've forged, because of Yuri."
Wolfram's voice softened. He sighed, then turned away, to look Conrad in the eyes. "I have to admit, I'm not sure I believe in it. I don't know if I can believe in the world Yuri wants so badly. I don't know if I can do things the way he does. But...after being with Greta, after helping Yuri in Caloria, after seeing Francia, all those things...even I'm starting to believe in him. Even Gwendal is."
"I see." Conrad moved to sit down on the edge of his bed, and gestured for Wolfram to take the chair. The blond hesitated a moment, then settled into it. "Well, I'm gratified to hear all that, but it doesn't explain why you've come to see me now."
Wolfram scowled. "Don't you get it? I can't hate you for having a human father, when I myself am the father of a human daughter, and when my own fiancee has a human mother. Not to mention when we've recently gained so many human allies. It's simply too ridiculous." Conrad started to speak, but Wolfram over-rode him, his voice dropping from indignant to pained so fast that it shocked Conrad silent. "Besides...when we were in the church...when I saw your severed arm, and I realized that you were wounded, maybe even dead...that was one of the worst feelings of my life. Almost as bad as fearing Yuri was dead." He swallowed. "Knowing that you were hurt so badly...and that I'd never even told you..."
"Never told me what?" Conrad's voice was gentle, but there was nothing gentle about the strange feeling that filled his chest, making it ache with emotion.
"I never told you, how proud I was to be the younger brother of the Demon Tribe's most honored swordsman. I never told you, how much I remembered those days, when you taught me the sword, and played with me on the Castle grounds, and laughed with me. I never told you...how much I admired the way people around you seem to look up to you. Or that I...I looked up to you too. I...I couldn't see you off, or watch you come home, during the war, but I...I wanted to. Actually...I wanted to go with you. Even if...even if I never said so, I was glad you survived. I was angry that you'd been so hurt, had changed so much. I was...even if I couldn't admit it, I was glad when you came home, with your old smile on your face." Wolfram's face was flushed red with embarrassment, his voice low and hesitant.
"I see." Conrad swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. Of all the things he'd expected to hear from Wolfram, this confession of brotherhood and respect wasn't one of them.
"Do you? Do you really?" Wolfram's voice changed, hardened just a bit. "Do you really understand, what it did to us, when we thought you were dead? Or worse, when we thought you were a traitor?"
Conrad winced. "Well, I knew Yuri was upset, and I guessed the rest of you were as well, but..."
"Upset? Upset! You think upset even begins to cover what we felt? What we went through?" Wolfram rose from his chair, his eyes flashing. "Even if you couldn't be expected to know how I felt about it, did you not have the slightest idea what it would do to Gunter? And Yozak? And what about Gwendal? Did you think of him?"
Conrad flinched. He knew he deserved his brother's anger, but somehow it cut sharply all the same. "Well, I knew Gunter and Yozak would feel angry that I'd betrayed them. As for Gwendal, I knew he wouldn't take it lightly..."
"That's putting it mildly." Wolfram's tone could have curdled milk. He spun away. "After we found your arm at the church, he gave me this." He tossed a small object toward him. Conrad caught it, then blinked, surprised to find himself holding one of his own coat buttons, somewhat singed. "Do you know what he told me, when he gave me that?" Wolfram turned back, and green eyes caught brown. "He told me not to become like him."
Conrad felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Whether Wolfram had understood the reference or not, Conrad understood it all too well. He knew how Gwendal kept a tight rein on his emotions, holding them in, bottling them up until they exploded, until they choked him, until the torment of silence was too great for him to bear. Then his temper exploded, or he vanished, locked himself in his room until the fit passed, until his rage and his anguish could once more be contained. As unpredictable as his temper was, Conrad had found his outbursts far easier to bear than the knowledge that his elder brother suffered in silence.
Wolfram continued speaking. "After Small Cimarron mistakenly used your arm to open a box, Yuri decided to bury it. And Gwendal...he was so upset. I actually had to challenge him, to allow Yuri to keep your arm and dispose of it, so it couldn't be used as a weapon. And I know Gwendal said it was because the Key was an asset, but the look on his face at that time, and during the burial...it was so sad. When I told him that Yuri had to keep your arm, that Yuri understood your wishes best...I didn't think it was possible for Gwendal to look so hurt. It's the first time...the first time I've ever seen Gwendal look so...heartbroken. Even if he didn't cry...when Yuri asked if he'd see you again, it was Gwendal who answered him. And his face...Gwendal doesn't usually show his emotions so easily."
Conrad swallowed hard. Gwendal, overset enough that Wolfram had defied him to protect Yuri? Gwendal, showing his emotions openly instead of hiding them behind irritation and duty? His brother wasn't made of stone, and he'd relaxed a great deal since Yuri had come, since their escapade in Sevelera. Still...to allow his anger and his pain to break through like that, he must have suffered greatly indeed.
Wolfram wasn't finished. "And it was worse when you were declared a traitor. He would hardly even look at anybody. Yuri got sent back to Earth after we left you, but when he came back..." Wolfram tensed, and there was a terrible, pained look on his face. "When Yuri came back, Gwendal went to him. He asked...no, he offered to take your place. He said he'd accept any punishment Yuri would give him. He said he'd take responsibility for you."
Anguish turned to ice in Conrad's gut. "You can't be serious."
"He did. I was there. He was kneeling to Yuri, right there in the courtyard of the Tomb of the Great One. Just...kneeling there, in front of Yuri, and the Sage, and Gunter and I. Even Greta and Ulrike and the temple handmaidens." Wolfram's voice was rough with emotion.
Conrad didn't blame him; he felt his own knees going weak. "Gwendal was...kneeling?" Gwendal was the foremost peer of the Realm. Son of the previous Maou, Chief of State, Lord of Voltaire province, and head of the intelligence network that protected the demon kingdom. According to protocol, he'd only ever needed to bow his head to the Maou. But Celi wouldn't take seeing her sons on bended knee, and Yuri refused to stand on protocol or formality, particularly with his advisers. The only time Conrad had ever seen Gwendal on his knees involuntarily had been the Sevelera mission, when he'd faced the angry Maou while suffering cracked ribs and severe esoteric stone poisoning. For Gwendal to kneel...it wasn't just a gesture of submission, it was a gesture of deepest humiliation. "Surely...he didn't...and in public..."
"He did. He wouldn't even look Yuri in the eye, until Yuri told him he didn't blame him, and that he trusted you. And even then, he didn't stand up again until Gunter asked him to. That's how desperately Gwendal feared for you, how much pain he was in."
No...His proud, strong older brother had been so anguished that he had offered to be punished? That he had humiliated himself in front of the king? He had known that Gwendal cared for him, though he was too stern to show it much. But...so much? So much that he had chosen to try and remove himself from his position, a move which would have been disastrous for the kingdom, rather than face his betrayal? "Gwendal...it really hurt him so badly." He swallowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would be quite so terrible."
"Do you understand now?" Wolfram's voice was quiet. "Whatever you thought you were doing, whatever you thought you were protecting...you couldn't have chosen a worse way to go about it."
Conrad nodded. "I thought I was protecting Yuri from taking on a dangerous mission. I thought I was protecting the Demon Kingdom, and helping to create the circumstances that would allow Yuri, and everyone here, to create a peaceful world."
Wolfram choked out a bitter half-laugh. "Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Because he was so worried for you, Yuri threw himself into more danger than ever. And...you can't protect the Demon Kingdom like that. The truth is..."
Wolfram paused, then spoke again, his voiced ragged and rough. "The truth is, if you do things like that...you'll probably destroy the Demon Kingdom, all by yourself. No matter who you think you are, or how replaceable, or unneeded, without you...all you need to do to destroy this Kingdom is walk away. If you betray us, even if it's in our own best interests, you'll break Yuri's heart. And Gwendal's. And Gunter's. And Mother's. Even mine and Yozak's. Maybe even Anissina's, and Giesela's, and Greta's. And where will we be, if everyone who should be ruling is grieving for you?" He grimaced. "Even Gegenhuber was upset. You should have heard him, when he talked about having to challenge you as a traitor."
"I'm sorry." They felt like such awkward, ineffective words, weighed against the pain he'd caused everyone. Especially his siblings. "I really am sorry. I don't know how to make it up to you, but..."
"Be here with us." Wolfram turned. "I know it's been a long time since I acknowledged you in any way. It's possible I don't really know you as well as I should, as your brother. So you have to stay, and allow Yuri to take care of you, and allow Greta and I to get to know you properly." He looked away. "You know Gwendal won't ever confront you, or tell you how he feels, or how he felt back then. So...support him. Even if it's just tea, and a comment on the weather, or an offer of help, miniscule as it might be."
"I will." He would have, even before Wolfram's confession. But knowing what Gwendal had suffered for him...
He rose, then went to Wolfram's side and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I promise, I'll be here, for you and Gwendal and Yuri, and everyone else. I'm truly sorry I made you go through that. If there's any way I can ever make it up to you..."
"Don't be stupid. You're my brother. Brothers don't need to say things like that." Wolfram turned his face away. "Just...be here, Conrart. That's all I want from you right now."
Conrad blinked. "Are you going to keep calling me by name?" Wolfram hadn't called him by name in almost half a century.
"Of course I am. It would be ridiculous to do otherwise. Unless it's a state event, in which formality is required, I see no reason to refer to you any differently than I would Yuri or Gwendal."
"I'm glad to hear it." he stood still a moment. "Wolfram...thank you for coming to speak with me this evening."
The blond snorted. "You already know what to do if you want to thank me." He looked out at the starlit sky. "It's late. You should rest. After all, even if you're exonerated, there's still a lot of work to do, to ease the unrest in the Castle. And we wouldn't want to be unprepared when Yuri returns." he shook himself free of Conrad's loose grip.
Conrad laughed softly as he let go. "You're quite correct." He stepped back as Wolfram turned. "I trust I'll see you in the morning, for breakfast?"
Wolfram nodded. "You can count on it." He gave Conrad one more long look, then stepped forward and laid his hand back over Conrad's arm. Seconds later, warmth pulsed through the limb, banishing the faint aches he still sometimes got from over-exertion, or tiredness. Then Wolfram spun away and vanished through the door.
Conrad stared after him, then smiled softly and turned to get ready for bed.
He was home, with the people he loved. And...the people who loved him.
Author's Note: Attacked by a plot bunny. But I thought these two needed some bonding time. And Conrad needed to understand EXACTLY why he shouldn't keep trying to run off into the wilderness. Because Yozak is right, the man is stubborn. And this didn't quite seem to fit Gwendal's personality.
