This is how I see MOST DxG stories, I've read one or two and I regret it deeply. So, to make myself feel better, I've created a parody.
Disclaimer: What could I possibly own?
The sun poured loftily through my curtains, hitting my mirror and reflecting its glare into my eyes. Another day, another walk into the stupidity that is my life. I got up out off bed, licking my hand and wiping down stray hairs of turquoise and black as I walked into my bathroom and began my morning routine. Just as I was about to step into the shower, my phone rang. 'Why can't you see-e-e, you belong with me-e-e…', it sang. I flipped it open. "Hey, Duncan," I said, my voice still laced with sleep. "'Sup, Gwen, I just wanted to call and tell you I can't make it to (insert cool goth/punk hangout) tonight." his velvety smooth voice said, instantly brightening my senses.
"What do you mean, you can't make it?" I almost yelled, deciding to skip the shower. I heard my best friend sigh on the other line.
"Well, Courtney-" he started, but I hung up.
(insert 3 emotional, rambly paragraphs about unrequited love and Duncan's 'hella mean' girlfriend.)
I slipped on my clothes and shoes, stomping my way downstairs. (insert her 'annoying' little brother and Trent who is magically somehow related to her, too.) I plopped into my chair and picked at my breakfast, before just getting up and starting on my trek to school.
(insert a rant about how crappy the school is, how Duncan is the highlight of her day, blahblahblah.)
I walked into school only to be pushed by the witch herself (the witch I wanna be).
"Courtney," I sneered.
Courtney just scoffed, fixating herself for a massive fake-attack. (insert a thou-art-holier-than-thou speech flip of hair and sickly sweet smile at an approaching Duncan.)
"How are my two favorite ladies?" Trademark Duncan smirk.
(insert ANOTHER several rambly paragraphs about how Gwen deserves Duncan, and they have so much in common, and how awful Courtney is.)
