A cry wakes me and Ven up from our sleep. Shade's crying. Ven gets up and leaves the room to take care of him. Good thing Ven can walk around now that he's healed. I think about going back to sleep but Shade's cries stop me.

"Vani! Could you come in here?" I get up from the bed and walk to my son's room and I see Ven holding him on the little couch I put in the room when I made it. I sat down next to him and as a response I get a small kiss on the cheek and a baby in my arms.

I start to try calming Shade down a bit, but nothing is working. First I tried to sing a lullaby, tried to rock him back to sleep, then I checked his diaper. Nothing is really working.

"Let's try feeding him." Ven suggested as he went downstairs to get Shade's bottle. Ven returns minutes later and hands it to me then I start to feed Shade and he doesn't start to fuss. That's what he must've wanted this entire time. As soon as I burp him and Ven puts him back to sleep we go back to bed.

I fall face-first onto the bed as Ven laughs and gets in next to me. All of a sudden my pillow gets taken away and I see Ven about to hit me with it but I caught him just in time.

"And what were you planning on doing with that?" I ask as I grab the pillow from him. Ven giggles and kisses my lips.

"I was trying to get you up so I could get under the covers, Daddy!" I chuckled at what Ven said. Ever since Shade had been born three months ago, he's been calling me "Daddy" ever since. When Shade can talk he's gonna be calling me that too so I figured I should get used to it now.

I get under the covers so my lovely fiancé can get more cozier and warmer. Once he gets under the covers, we instantly start to cuddle. I looked at his ring. We're getting married in a couple of months and I can't believe I'm marrying my high school sweetheart. I didn't even deserve him in the first place.

For some reason, I've been thinking that Ven and Shade deserve better than me. Shade deserves a father who doesn't have an arrest record, gets along even better with his grandfather, and was never a smoker. Ven deserves someone who never hurt him, broke a promise, and never would've probably snapped if he died on the operating table. Ven sees me in deep thought and looks at me worriedly.

"What's wrong Vani? Can't sleep?" He asks me with his deep blue eyes staring into my soul. I can't lie to him. I promised to change for him and lying to him will break that.

"I don't know what it is, but I don't know how you've tolerated a boyfriend like me for seven years, a fiancé like me for seven months and how you'll tolerate a husband like me for the rest of your life. Somedays make me wonder why you stayed with me instead of leaving and taking Shade with you. You could've been with someone who knows how to take care of kids and loves you right. Not a screw up." Ven looks at me and kisses me again.

"Don't doubt yourself as a person Vani. Sure you aren't the best at taking care of kids and you lied to me in the past a couple of times and got arrested twice, and sometimes you manage to do things that piss me off sometimes. Remember this: Shade needs you, his real father, around and I need the man I loved ever since high school to be with us. We're human, we make mistakes that we can learn from and we can learn new things. I love you and I don't want anything to change that. Never talk about not being good enough again. You're good enough for me the way you are and we love you just like you are. So don't doubt yourself." I nodded as Ven kissed me. He's right. I am good enough for him and I'll be a good father to Shade.

Shade starts to cry again as Ven breaks from our embrace. He gets up to go, but I stop him and go instead. I walk into Shade's room and he's crying his eyes out. I pick him up and start trying to calm him down.

"What's wrong baby Shay-Shay? I know you can't be hungry because I just fed you a couple of minutes ago. Let's see if someone needs a diaper change." I carry him to the changing table and check his diaper. Looks like someone IS in need of a diaper change. After I'm done with his diaper he's still crying, maybe he had a nightmare.

"It's okay Shade. Whatever you dreamt can't and won't hurt you as long as I'm here..." I said repeating my comforts to him. I finally hold him close to my chest and say my words again and his cries die down to whimpers. Shade snuggles into my chest and grips my shirt and starts to drift off to sleep.

"Goodnight sunlight, I'll see you again soon, for now it's time for me to see the moon. The stars shine bright on this beautiful night. Go to sleep you sleepy sun, when you rise again we will once again have fun. I love you my dear sunlight, but I also want to see the moonlight. Goodnight my beloved sunlight, I'll see you again soon, for now it's time for everyone to see the moon." I decided to recite the poem my mother said to me and Sora when we were younger. I'm still surprised I even remember.

Any case, Mom's poem worked because Shade is out like a lightbulb. I kissed Shade's forehead and placed him in his crib as I said,

"Goodnight Shade." I turn to go back when I hear Shade start to cry again. I rush over back to his crib and he goes quiet again. I place his favorite teddy bear in the crib and turn to leave again, and yet again, Shade starts to cry again. I pick Shade up and decide to take him back to the bedroom with me. I walk back with a sleeping baby in my arms.

When I get back to the bedroom, Ven is asleep. I kiss Shade on the forehead and walk over to the bed. I carefully get in and place Shade in the middle and place the covers making sure there not to cover Shade's head. Ven turns over and opens one eye lazily to see me and our little baby before scooping Shade up and placing him on his chest.

I look at my fiancé and son sleeping soundly. Nights like these make me remember how lucky I am to have them in my life. I admire Ven a lot. He went through nine months of torture, not to mention a high death risk, to bring Shade into this world. If I had never moved here, then there is no telling where we'd end up. He'd probably with Terra and I'd probably be working with my dad. I kiss Ven on the cheek and wrap my arm around his waist. As I drift off to sleep, I smile knowing my family loves me the way I am and nothing will ever change that.


Me: Hey! I'm not dead! A lot has been going on so I haven't had time to write or upload. Well... I have been writing, but I've been multi-tasking with writing and I just began typing my stories on my phone. If anyone remembers, I have an Instagram so I've spent some time on it, I've been on facetime with my friend a lot, last week was Spirit Week at my school! Monday was "Crazy Hair Day" I have a picture of my hair posted on Instagram, Tuesday: "Class Colors" and since I'm in eighth grade, mine was blue, Wednesday: was my Eighth Grade Class Trip to New York City where I saw Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark and I got suviners from Planet Hollywood (P.S. I had lunch there) which are also on Instagram, Thursday: "Spring Pictures/Crazy Sock Day" and Friday was the Pep Rally, eighth grade vs. Teachers volley ball (which eighth grade won), talent show (in which I sang Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts") and a dance at the end of the day and I have the balloons I managed to snag on Instagram. Plus I was at my friend's house last Saturday and I think I jammed my finger when me, her and another friend of ours were playing basket ball and there was a carnival last Sunday. While I have you here, there is a new poll on my profile! Remember my VanVen Mpreg story Change For Me? If you do then remember how I said that there might be a sequel focusing on Axel and Roxas starting from where Change For Me left off? Vote on the poll and if I have enough votes by May 20th then those votes will decide whether I make the story or not. Don't worry, just because this story has Axel and Roxas doesn't mean I'll instantly forget the Nightshadows! That means we'll still be hearing from Vanitas, Ventus and Shade. So vote on the poll by May 20th. I just wanted to write this just to write something because I haven't posted anything all month so I just came up with this. Anyways, I hope you all had a wonderful Spring Vacation, if you liked then review or favorite, this is Janae A.K.A. OrgyMemberXVII signing off! Bye :D!