AN:So, I wrote this a while ago, but I didn't have an account. Now I do. Yay. Enjoy. *MAJOR SPOILER TO A CHOICE WITH NO REGRETS*
Sometimes, I wonder why people look up to me.
For years, I lived in the underground, making a living for myself by doing deeds that even I can't speak of. Being a thug makes you do that. But I didn't have a choice in the matter, and I was more than willing to go down the wrong road. I thought I'd never get caught.
But eventually, I did.
I was given a second choice, But I still wanted to screw it up for myself.
And my only friends too.
And when I realized I had made the wrong choice, I had already lost everything.
But I knew there was still a tiny ray of hope for me. So I seized that chance, and look where it got me today.
Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest Soldier.
Since Isabel and Farlan were killed, I never let anyone get too close. I knew that someday, they would be killed by the Titans, and it would most likely be my fault. But all these people are depending on me each day, and it tears me to pieces, knowing that I can't save them all.
After all, I'm only human.
After all this shit I've gotten myself into, sometimes I wonder why people admire me.
If they actually knew the truth of my past, I bet they'd admire someone better than I am. Someone who actually could carry all those lives on their two shoulders. That would make me feel better inside, knowing that all the pressure wasn't on me.
If I could wipe my past clean, or travel back and make the right choices, I would've done it in a heart beat. But we can't travel back in time. So I have to live with all this guilt on my shoulders.
Sometimes, I wonder why people are so willing to be my friend.
Hanji and I call each other names, and she annoys the hell out of me on a daily basis. But she and I remain comrades, even though we act as if we hate each other. She is willing to be my friend. I hate that shitty four eyes for doing that. Petra was so polite and kind, and she was also willing to be my friend. For that little while, before I got my entire squad killed. It was my fault that my squad died, and it will be my fault if my new one does as well.
Sometimes, I wonder why I haven't been killed by a titan already.
Sometimes, I wonder why I wasn't the one who was killed that day, and not Farlan and Isabel.
Sometimes, I wonder why I am Humanity's Strongest Soldier.
Sometimes, I just have to wonder why.
