Title: Cowards
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Nick/Greg Slash
Word Count: ~6500
Warning: Sexual Content, Violence, NonCon
Disclaimer: This story is complete fiction. They don't belong to me - I just play with them a little.
Summary: Nick honors Warrick's memory by finally being true to himself. It's a lot harder than he thought and he learns that his family is a much bigger issue than he ever imagined. And so does Greg. AU, there are spoilers but the plot is mostly mine.
AN: I started this a really freaking long time ago and it got away from me. It started as one thing and then took a very, very dark turn. I wanted to get it back on track, so I shelved it for a while. Every once in a while I'll revisist it and no matter how much time passes, it won't get off the dark path. Sometimes stories just need to write themselves I suppose. So I am posting it as it has been demanding to be posted. I'm pretty sure this will be the hardest chapter to read. If you are sensitive to issues of homophobia and rape, you might want to skip this chapter. Oh - and if you have adverse reactions to cliff hangers...well reader beware.
I am posting the first three parts in this chapter - keep in mind that Part 1 and 2 were written right after Warrick bit the dust in cannon.
Part 1
They rode in silence. The heaviness of the day was almost too much for either of them to bear. As Nick pulled his truck next to Greg's car in his driveway, he paused for a moment before turning off the engine. He stared straight ahead, looking at everything and nothing at the same time. Greg, similarly, looked through the passenger window – thinking of how he couldn't move, let alone drive home.
"Thanks for driving, Nicky." Greg said as he reached for the door handle.
"Will you come in for a few minutes?" Nick said to Greg without looking, still staring glassy-eyed through the windshield. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
"Sure." Greg pulled himself out of his trance to look at his friend. "You okay Nicky?"
"I just need to talk to you about something." Nick said as he opened the door and stepped out of his truck.
Greg followed closely behind, walking into the living room through the front door. Nick took his suit jacket off and tossed it onto the back of his couch. He faced Greg and silently slid his hands underneath the lapels of Greg's suit jacket, pushing it off of his shoulders. Nick tossed Greg's jacket onto the back of the couch to mingle with his own.
"Nick?" Greg's voice shook and his eyes looked at Nick with confusion.
Nick pulled Greg into a tight embrace – the kind of full-body contact that is usually reserved for lovers. Nick's arms wrapped around Greg's shoulders, pinning his arms in such a way that Greg could only reciprocate with his arms sliding around Nick's waist. They held each other for several minutes - just looking. Slowly, Nick moved his face so that he was buried into Greg's neck. Greg felt Nick's breath on his skin, which caused his heart and stomach to wrestle for top billing. Nick spoke softly into Greg's neck, the vibration of his voice giving Greg goose-flesh from head to toe.
"I almost killed him." Nick said.
"Who?"
"McKeen. I almost killed him. I stood there, gun pointed right at his head. It would have been easy. Warrick deserved it – you know? He deserved for that bastard to be dead." Nick's eyes began to leak a steady stream of tears onto the crisp white shirt that Greg had worn to Warrick's funeral.
"But you didn't." Greg said as he tightened his grip around his friend's waist.
"You know why. Greggo?" Nick said, pulling himself away from Greg, only enough to allow himself to look into Greg's eyes. Nick took Greg's face into his hands. "How many times have you and I been almost dead? Almost like Warrick?"
"Nick, I…" Greg was interrupted.
"Too many. Hell, once is too many – am I right, G?" Nick smiled, lightly running his thumbs across Greg's cheeks, wiping away the tears that began to fall from Greg's heartbroken, chocolate eyes. He placed their foreheads together - he just needed to get closer.
"Nick?" Greg said, eyes closed, breathless.
"Each time I almost lost you – or almost lost me – I promised myself I would talk to you - tell you how important you are. To tell you how much I need you – need to see you every day. But it's hard to tell one of your best friends that you have fallen in love with him – you know?" Nick's eyes shifted, looking lost and sad.
"Nick, I know you are feeling a little lost right now. Warrick and you were like brothers – I know this is so very, very hard for you. I don't think you…" Again, Greg was interrupted.
"Greg. I promise you this isn't grief talking. I have felt so much for you for so long. I just keep telling myself that I'll talk to you later – next month – next year. Then something would happen to you – or me – and I would know that I shouldn't waste any more time – but we would get back into the routine and I would put it off again." Nick placed his forehead so that it rested on Greg's. "I'm such a coward."
Greg closed his eyes, not moving. He took a deep breath, trying to get his bearings as Nick altered his universe with each word. Greg realized that his hands were clutching Nick's shirt in tight fists-full of fabric, his knuckles white from the strain.
"So – I'm looking at McKeen with my finger on the trigger. Then your face flashes in front of my brain. Warrick is gone, man. Dead. He didn't make it. Not like you and I so many times before. He didn't make it. And, I realized that someday you or I may not make it – our luck could run out. That's when I knew I couldn't kill McKeen." Nick's thumb brushed across Greg's lips. "Because if I killed him – I wouldn't be able to do what I should have done years ago. What I need to do before it's too late someday. If I killed him I might never be able to do this…"
Nick's lips gently pressed into Greg's. Softly, but with intent. He pulled back for a second to look into Greg's eyes – making sure Greg wasn't retreating. Nick saw something that looked like wonder mixed with promise in those beautiful brown eyes. He pulled Greg into a tighter embrace, kissing him with more passion and sending a clear signal that his desire for Greg ran deep and strong. Nick felt Greg's tongue brush across his open mouth. He welcomed Greg's tongue, offering his own in return. They only stopped when the need for air outweighed the need for each other's mouths.
"Thank you." Nick said, panting. They once again rested on each other's foreheads.
"For what?" Greg breathed.
"For giving me something to live for – other than revenge." Nick said simply. "The next move is up to you. Is this what you want, G?"
Greg nodded silently while he slowly moved his hands to Nick's chest, feeling his tight muscles as he moved to loosen Nick's tie. Greg's lips landed On Nick's again – this time with more intensity – almost hunger.
"Coffee." Nick whispered into Greg's mouth.
"What?" Greg smiled without moving his lips from Nick.
Nick pulled away enough to say, "Coffee. I always imagined that your kisses would taste like coffee. And, they do."
"Sorry." Greg said as he pulled Nick's mouth back into his own.
"Don't be. I like it."
As Greg slowly removed Nick's clothing, he trailed kisses and nibbles on Nick's neck. "Are you ready for a boyfriend, Tex?"
"Are you?" Nick pushed Greg back toward the couch, pulling off Greg's clothes as they moved.
"I've been ready since the day I met you, Nick. I was just waiting on you."
"I guess we're both cowards – huh?" Nick pushed Greg to fall onto the soft cushions of the couch – quickly laying himself on top before nestling his face once again into Greg's neck.
Part 2
"God - you feel so amazing." Nick's hands roamed every inch of Greg's skin while his lips grazed upon Greg's neck.
Feeling Nick's voice rumble on his neck caused Greg's cock to dance. His hips moved in rhythm with Nick as they introduced their hard heat for the first time.
"Nick?" Greg moaned into Nick's ear.
"Mmmmmm..." Nick replied as he crashed his lips onto Greg's.
"Bed?" Greg moaned through kisses.
Nick pulled back, panting for air, face flushed, lips kiss-swollen. He froze. He felt his cock, hard and throbbing, pressed between himself and the man underneath him. Nick suddenly felt naked and exposed. Bed? I'm going to have sex - with a man - with GREG - in my bed. A man...in my bed. What am I doing? Nick looked into Greg's eyes, dreamy and dark. Bed - with Greg - that is what I'm doing. I'm going to fuck this man like I have in my fantasies for years. Nick kissed Greg, his tongue desperately searching for Greg's.
"This way." Nick pulled himself off of Greg, grabbing him by the arms to pull him up without losing contact with his delicious mouth. They bounced from wall to wall in the hallway leading to Nick's room, hands and lips working in a frenzy. Greg pushed Nick against the wall next to the bed and fell to his knees in front of him.
"You're so fucking hot, Nick." Greg said in a lusty tone and made Nick twitch in all the right places. "I've wanted to taste you for so fucking long."
Greg began kissing Nick's tight abdomen, just above the navel, savoring each centimeter of skin between Nick's navel and his throbbing, rock-hard cock. Greg's mind raced and his heart felt like it was bursting from his chest. I'm touching Nick, kissing Nick, tasting NICK!
Nick stopped breathing the moment Greg dropped to his knees. He felt the jolt of Greg's lips and tongue on his skin, creating a trail of heat from his navel toward his cock. God, this feels so fucking good - Greg feels so fucking good.
Nick looked down, seeing Greg's brown eyes looking back a him, hooded and dark. Nick closed his eyes and swallowed as his lust was replaced by fear. What am I doing? I can't do this - I can't fuck a man - not even Greg. I can't be this - I am NOT this.
Nick's breathing became erratic as panic crept into his lust-filled haze. Greg noticed. "Nick - are you okay?"
Nick pushed Greg away and sat on his bed, grabbing a pillow to cover his lap. Nick looked at the ceiling - avoiding Greg's eyes. "Greg - I - I..." Nick took a deep breath and sighed. He looked at Greg, who was still on his knees - looking up at Nick from the floor.
"Greg - I'm so sorry. But...I can't...I just can't. I'm not...like that...like this." Nick swallowed the lump in his throat.
"But, you just said - I mean, you kissed me. You said you've wanted me...have for years. I asked you if you were ready for a boyfriend and..."
"I didn't answer, Greg." Nick said, sounding a little cold.
Greg sat on his feet, playing back the conversation from a few moments before: "Are you ready for a boyfriend, Tex?" "Are you?" Greg's heart sank.
"No, I guess you didn't." Greg suddenly felt shamefully naked. "Nick, what does this mean - I'm a little confused here."
Nick looked at his hands, avoiding Greg's eyes again.
"Nick - look at me." Nick refused to look at Greg.
"Greg - I meant what I said. I love you and I don't regret finally telling you how I feel about you. But, I'm not gay."
"You kissed me! You ripped my clothes off and practically humped me into the couch cushions. You seem pretty gay to me, Nick." Greg hated the way his voice sounded - desperate and hurt.
"I'm sorry, Greg. I made a mistake." Nick looked everywhere but directly at Greg. "My feelings for you are deep - but not sexual. I just didn't know it until...we got...sexual."
"Your body sure looked like it was feeling sexual, Nick. I'm sure you're freaking out a little - but that doesn't mean that we..."
"GREG! You can't talk me into being gay for god's sake! The thought of fucking you makes me want to puke! I am pretty sure that is a good indication that I am not feeling it with you!" Nick immediately regretted his words, especially considering he was lying through his teeth.
If Nick had the courage to look at the man on his floor he would have seen the liquid evidence of just how accurate his words hit their target. "Nick, could you please turn around so I can walk out of this room? I'm feeling really naked and not in a good way." Greg said softly.
"Of course - I'm sorry." Nicked turned himself on the edge of the bed to face the wall behind him, facing away from Greg. He heard Greg walking out of the room and down the hall. Nick jumped from his bed and quickly put on sweat pants that were sticking out of his hamper. He stood in front of the mirror hanging on the door of his bathroom, collecting himself and giving Greg a few minutes to get dressed. Nick looked at himself and felt like a fraud - a terrified, fraud who just broke the heart of the man he loves - the man he loves in a totally gay way.
When Nick thought Greg had plenty of time to be dressed, he walked into the living room and was surprised to find it empty. He looked out the front window and saw Greg pulling his shirt on before getting into his car and driving away.
"Shit."
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Greg felt heavy from his day. First the funeral, saying goodbye to his good friend. Then, the incredible rush of love and lust from the man he has been secretly pining over for years - only to be rejected in such a humiliating way. Rejected? I didn't even start it - so why am I feeling rejected?
Greg walked into his apartment and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw a man sitting on his couch, facing the door.
"FUCK! Damn it, Paul. What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you." Greg's ex said in an ominous tone.
"How did you get in here? I took my key back." Greg stayed by the door, leaving it open.
"I made a copy before I gave it back to you. In case you needed me - you know - emergencies." Paul smirked.
"Look, Paul, I've had a shitty day, and I need to get some sleep before my shift tonight - so please leave - and leave my key." Greg gestured to the open door.
Paul stood and walked toward the door. Greg was relieved that Paul wasn't giving him trouble. The last time he saw Paul he landed in the emergency room with several cracked ribs and a bruise in the clear shape of a boot print in Paul's size across his back.
Paul reached the door and stopped with one foot inside and one foot outside. He stood several inches taller than Greg and had at least 40 pounds on him. Paul turned to look at Greg.
"Fuck you," was the last thing Greg heard before he saw Paul's fist crashing onto his face.
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Greg sat in his car in the lab's parking lot, staring at the building as he willed himself to walk through the door. He dreaded the inevitable awkward moments with Nick. Greg had several hours to think about it - the shared feelings they had confessed, the way the intimacy felt perfect. Greg decided to give Nick a break - they had just buried Nick's best friend - that surely leaves a man vulnerable. Greg should have drawn some boundaries instead of taking advantage of Nick's weakened condition. Sometimes you're such a selfish prick, Sanders. Greg felt guilty and wasn't ready to face his friend so soon after his indiscretion.
Of course - it didn't help that he also had the extra challenge of hiding a face full of bruises. He adjusted his rear-view mirror to take a good look at his face and saw that the makeup was still hiding the bruises well.
He ended his brief relationship with Paul almost a year ago. He had met Paul at a club. Greg had only stopped by for a few minutes to wish his friend a Happy Birthday, but when he was introduced to Paul he decided to stay for a while - Paul was hot. He was tall and built like a tank and Greg thought he would be a nice distraction from his obsession with Nick Stokes, CSI. They had dated only a few weeks, but that was long enough for Greg to realize that Paul was clingy and needy with an undertone of possessive and jealous - qualities that Greg found most unattractive. When Greg told Paul it wasn't working out, Paul left Greg stranded 20 miles away at a diner. They came in Greg's car. Greg paid over $60 for the taxi to get himself home, locked out because Paul took his keys when he took his car. He called the friend who introduced him to Paul and together they found Paul and Greg's car at a bar. Greg's friend got his keys, he took his car home and considered the situation resolved. Six months later Greg found Paul sitting on his bed after a double shift. Paul had copied his key during the hours he had possession of his car. After a 30-minute screaming match that quickly escalated into a beat-down - Greg had his key back - he also had two cracked ribs and a face full of abrasions. That was the week that Greg mastered the art of concealer.
The run-in with Paul earlier that night was a surprise, to say the least. Greg still received a periodic voicemail from Paul, when he had drunk dialed, but Greg hadn't seen Paul since the night he landed in the ER. Greg had to admit to himself that he was now officially afraid of Paul. After Paul smashed his fist into Greg's face - again - he made it very clear that Greg wouldn't be the one to determine when they were done.
"I saw that one of your people was killed on the news. So I came over to make sure you are OK and what do I get? You are such an ungrateful fuck, Greg. I don't know why I still bother with you. I'm keeping your key though - we aren't done yet."
Greg took a deep breath and opened his car door, steeling himself for whatever confrontation awaited him with Nick. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept for nearly 36-hours. After Paul left, Greg called a locksmith to change his locks, so he felt like he had finally slammed that door shut. He tried to catch a couple of hours of sleep after that but couldn't stop thinking about Nick. How can something that felt so right, so fucking good, be so messed up? Greg braced himself for an awkward confrontation, but was determined to set things right so he could have his friend back.
Nick sat on the bench in the locker room, staring at his locker. He hadn't slept all night - he couldn't stop thinking about Greg. His mind twirled conflicting emotions of guilt and longing. Nick was ashamed of how he treated his friend and knew that he needed to make this right if he ever wanted to sleep again. Nick had practiced what he wanted to say over and over as he counted the speckles on the ceiling of his bedroom. He felt like an idiot and a coward and he hoped he didn't miss his chance to take life by the balls and follow his heart. With any luck - he would be getting a do-over with Greg tomorrow morning after their shift.
Nick heard the shuffling of feet behind him and smelled his addiction as he walked into the small room. God he smells fucking fantastic! Nick turned to face Greg, who immediately averted his eyes from Nick's.
"Hey, Nick." Greg said softy as he opened his locker. His locker door blocked him from Nick's view.
"Hey, G. I've been waiting for you." Nick turned to face Greg. "I owe you an apology."
Greg poked his head out from behind his locker door. "You what?"
"I owe you an apology, G. I freaked out - Rick would have been pissed. Here I am, taking a chance - tossing caution to the wind to try my hand at happiness in honor of my best friend - and I panic. Rick would have handed me my ass."
"You're not making sense, Nick."
"I know. I'm trying to have a very serious - potentially life altering - conversation with absolutely no sleep." Nick laughed.
"Nick, you're starting to freak me out a little." Greg closed his locker and sat on the bench facing Nick. "I think it's me who owes you an apology. I took advantage of you. We were both feeling vulnerable and I should have had more respect for that. I hope we can still be..."
"Don't say it." Nick cut him off. "Please don't say you hope we can be friends."
"Well, I do. You are my best friend, Nick. I know I'm not yours - but you're mine. I don't want to mess that up. So - let's just call it what it is - two friends who were sad and vulnerable and looking for a connection on the day they buried someone very special. Nothing really happened - a little kissing - some heavy petting. No biggie." Greg put on his best smile.
"We were naked, G."
"Yeah - but we're naked all the time - in here, the showers...whatever. Please, Nick, let's just forget it ever happened."
Nick could see the desperation in Greg's eyes. The more Nick listened to Greg, the more he agreed that acting on his feelings may not be the best course of action. Nick didn't want to ruin a good friendship either. So instead of following his heart, Nick looked at Greg and took the opportunity to lock away the vulnerable truth for safe keeping.
"Okay." Nick held out his hand to Greg. "Friends?"
"Friends." Greg affirmed and grabbed Nick's hand and gave him two firm, manly shakes.
"There you are! You're late for assignments." Grissom stood in the doorway of the locker room. "Two DBs in a car behind the Tangiers. You two are on it. Today preferably."
Part 3 - Violent Content Warning!
The case Greg and Nick had been assigned was a clear case of murder/suicide. The wife was the cheater, the husband the cheated - their children now orphans. While Greg finished up the tedious paperwork, Nick was sent to help Catherine with her floater. Her crime scene had expanded to cover most of a small lake and 10-acres of thick brush.
Nick was going to have a long day.
Greg had finished up only 30-minutes late and was relieved to be walking to his car. Almost 9 hours of checking and re-checking his face, making sure the evidence of his run-in with Paul stayed hidden, was exhausting. As Greg moved to open his car door, he heard a familiar voice from behind him, calling his name.
Nick saw Greg walking toward his car as he pulled into the parking lot from the crime scene he had just left. Nick was tired and dirty, but he knew he would be working a double to get this case moving along. More than anything, Nick wanted to talk to Greg. He had spent the better part of the last 5-hours quietly collecting evidence and thinking about nothing but the dark-eyed man he was now willing to admit occupied most of his fantasies.
"Hey, Greggo! Wait up, man." Nick called out as he sprinted toward his crush.
Greg turned to face his friend. Nick looked tired and grubby, but to Greg he still looked like a god. Greg just wanted to grab his face and lick him.
"Hey, Nicky! Are you just getting back? That must be some scene you and Catherine got stuck with!"
"Man, that's the biggest understatement of the fucking year." Nick chuckled. "Look, G - I'm gonna be here for a while, but can I stop by later? I really want to talk to you about what happened between us."
"Nick, I thought we decided to..."
"Greg - I didn't really decide anything. I'm feeling confused and nervous - but I want to talk about it." Nick moved closer to Greg, their lips achingly close. Nick brushed his fingers over the concealer-covered bruised flesh of Greg's face. His brows furrowed when he saw the injury underneath. "What the hell happened to you?"
Greg didn't want to stop the momentum and cursed himself for not doing a better job covering up his latest gift from Paul. "It's nothing. I had a little run in with a crazy ex..."
"He hit you?" Nick was horrified that anyone would purposely hurt the lovable guy in front of him. "My god, G..."
As good as it felt to be the center of Nick Stokes' protectiveness, Greg didn't want to change the direction they were headed in. "Don't go all Superman on me, Cowboy. I took care of it, Paul's a thing of the past and properly put in his place." Greg insisted with a reassuring smile on his face. "Shall I expect you to stop by later for that talk?"
"I want to do more than talk, Greg." Nick practically growled.
Greg felt his body respond to Nick's physical presence. He could feel Nick's breath on his face, feel the heat from Nick's body - and he could see something in Nick's eyes that told him the gorgeous man wasn't kidding.
Greg's voice croaked as he tried his best to sound convincing, "Nick - I'm not sure this is such a good idea."
"Probably not, but you want it as much as I do, G. So - I'll see you later?" Nick closed the tiny space between them and kissed Greg softly.
Greg closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of warm, slightly chapped lips pressed against his own. They reluctantly pulled apart when they heard a distant car horn. When Greg opened his eyes he saw nothing but affection reflecting back from the brown eyes of his friend.
"Um...yeah." Greg swallowed hard. "You know, this is going to sound paranoid, but it feels like we are being watched. So maybe you should back away and go get your work done so we can have that 'talk'." Greg used air-quotes.
"Makes sense. I suppose the lab's parking lot isn't the best place to make out." Nick smiled.
Greg felt his heart swell. Nick smiled in that way that say's he means it - that he's happy. Nick's whole face joined his lips in the effort, his eyes sparkled, his face creased with beautiful lines that Greg just wanted to map with his tongue.
"I'll see you later, Nicky." Greg gently pushed Nick away and turned to get into his car. Nick stood in his place, not moving until he could no longer see Greg's car driving away.
As he walked into the lab he filed away information he would definitely be delving into later. Paul, huh?
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Greg couldn't sleep. Instead he cleaned, changed his sheets, and made sure he had an ample supply of lube and condoms...just in case. By the time Greg heard a hurried knock on his door, he was nothing but a bundle of nerves and sexual tension.
He opened the door and immediately felt his heart pounding in his chest. Nick looked stunning. He was wearing tight, dark-washed jeans and a western style shirt that Greg had never seen him wear before. The shirt had pearl snaps instead of buttons. The front of the shirt was tucked behind a very large belt buckle in the shape of Texas. Greg didn't know whether to laugh or come.
"Wow - Nicky - I didn't know we were role playing - I would have worn a buck-skin thong." Greg said in his best sultry voice.
"You like?" Nick smoldered as he pushed Greg into the apartment and slammed the door closed with his foot.
"Like? You are a fucking hot cowboy, Tex. So - yeah - I like...a lot." Greg grabbed Nick by his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "You know - I was going to tell you we shouldn't do this, but now I think I'll just let you fuck me."
Greg leaned into Nick, craving the taste of his lips.
Nick pulled back, avoiding Greg's attempt for a kiss. Instead - Nick pushed Greg away and toward the bedroom.
"You're a little eager, I see." Greg chuckled - allowing Nick to rip his t-shirt off of his body. "I didn't like that shirt anyway." He smirked at his soon to be Cowboy Lover.
Greg grabbed Nick's shirt by the collar and yanked it open, each snap unsnapping in machine-gun fashion. "I've always wanted to do that - you'll definitely have to wear the snappy shirt more often." Greg pushed Nick's shirt off of his shoulders as he tried again to kiss him.
Nick roughly pushed Greg until he fell onto his bed. He grabbed the button of Greg's jeans and pulled hard, causing the waistband to dig into Greg's flesh.
"Hey - Nicky - simmer down tiger - that hurt a little." Greg said with a bit of humor and a lot of nervousness.
"Shut up." Nick demanded.
"Wow - Nick - I didn't figure you for a rough-top. Can we just tone it down a little for our first time?" Greg asked, his eyes open and trusting.
Nick yanked Greg's jeans off, "You always go commando?"
"Only when I'm expecting a hot Texan to knock on my door." Greg purred.
"You're a sick fuck, you know that?" Nick's voice held no humor.
Greg swallowed the lump that had suddenly lodged in his throat, "Nicky, if you're trying to be all hot and sexy - that's really not working"
Nick lunged at Greg, forcing Greg onto his back. Nick's body hovered inches above Greg's, achingly close but not touching. His hand slowly moved from Greg's belly toward his face. He closed the space between their faces until his lips were only an inch away from Greg's.
Greg felt himself breathing harder and faster, his cock responded to Nick's touch. He felt sparks on his skin as Nick's fingers trailed onto his chest. For some reason, Greg noticed that Nick smelled different. He couldn't really isolate what exactly was different, but there was definitely a different kind of chemical reaction happening tonight. Maybe he did lemons and tomato juice from a decomp case. Greg raised his head enough to capture Nick's mouth with his own - but before he could make contact he felt Nick's fingers tighten around his neck.
His hand gripped tighter around Greg's thin neck. "You think I want to kiss you? You are a sick fuck, Faggot."
Greg's eyes were suddenly wide and filled with terror. He couldn't speak and he could barely breathe as Nick's fingers dug into his windpipe. Greg grabbed Nick's wrist in an attempt to pull his hand away from his neck, but Nick was strong and Greg had allowed himself to be placed in a vulnerable position. Greg struggled to understand what was happening. None of it made sense.
"Roll over." Nick commanded, releasing his grip on Greg's throat.
"Nicky, I think we need to stop now. This isn't really what I had in mind, so maybe we should talk about this a little fir..."
"ROLL OVER!" Nick screamed.
Greg's body started shaking uncontrollably. "Nick, please. You're really scaring me."
Nick pushed himself up so he was on his knees towering over Greg's naked body. "Then I suggest you roll over."
"Nicky pl..."
Nick backhanded Greg, leaving his face red and streaked. "What the fuck? Are you wearing make-up?"
Greg could only look at Nick, tears building in his eyes. His confusion and fear mixed together and stabbed him in the heart over and over again. Nick took his thumb and roughly swiped it across Greg's tender cheekbone.
"You are wearing make-up!" Nick could see the bruise peeking through the stripe of exposed skin he had just wiped into the cover-up on Greg's face.
Greg was so confused. Nick was like a complete stranger. How could he not remember what I told him about Paul? He tried to reason with the man in a shaky voice. "I already told you..."
"Shut the fuck up." He backhanded Greg again. "What happened to you? Someone get to you before me? No one likes a fag, you know. Especially one that tries to ruin decent, God-fearing normal men." Nick said with venom.
Nick started unbuckling his belt. As he slowly pulled the belt from his belt loops he spat, "Are you going to roll over on your own or are you going to make me do it for you?"
Greg was frozen in fear and complete shock.
Nick struck Greg's face with the leather of his belt.
Greg trembled.
"Next time it will be the buckle. Now - roll over." Nick demanded.
"Nick." Greg sobbed.
Nick unbuttoned his button-fly.
"Why?" Greg's sobs were taking over.
"My daddy always said punishment should hurt - that way you never forget and you don't make the same mistakes twice." Nick explained.
Greg looked at Nick with a silent plea.
"You need to be punished, you sick son-of-a-bitch."
Nick swung the belt again, this time striking Greg's temple with the heavy buckle.
Greg saw white flashes and lost his vision for a few seconds before the pain took over. He could feel the wet heat of his blood as it gushed from the substantial gash on his face. He felt Nick's weight shifting. He heard the sound of fabric rustling and falling to the floor. Greg wondered if he deserved this, after Paul he should have been better at reading people. How could I not know Nick is like this?
Greg closed his eyes, his heart racing and breaking at the same time, and he rolled over.
"I see you've already been punished once." Nick said menacingly. "Your back looks disgusting."
Greg felt Nick's hand on the back of his head, pushing his bleeding face into the mattress. He was finding it hard to breathe. He felt Nick push his legs apart, roughly, with his knees. He felt the heat of Nick's breath on his neck as Nick leaned in to say, "This is supposed to hurt - what you do is sick and wrong. Daddy believed in an eye for an eye. You're lucky he's not here - he has sentenced men to die after all. I'll go a little easy on ya." Nick laughed cruelly. "But not too easy. Maybe if it hurts enough you'll stop trying spread your sickness to good, decent men. I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, you fucking fag."
Greg couldn't breathe but he didn't fight the pressure holding his face to the soft mattress - he didn't struggle to stop the suffocation. He just gave up. There was no way he could fathom bouncing back from this kind of violation. The physical pain paled in comparison to the magnitude of pain and confusion and betrayal burning him to a crisp from the inside out. Nick was imploding his world.
But when Greg felt the excruciating ripping and tearing he could not stop the screams. Nick's hand responded with more force, crushing Greg's face into suffocating softness of his bed, releasing Greg from his nightmare as dark oblivion took over.
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He felt the pain long before he understood that he was waking up. Greg struggled to open his eyes, one of which was stubbornly refusing to budge. He couldn't move, every inch of him felt stiff and painful. Greg lifted his head from the mattress, but couldn't support the weight of it. The room was beginning to fade. Greg saw his phone sitting on the table next to his bed and he willed himself to reach for it. After a brief struggle, Greg succeeded and dialed.
"Gris?" Greg's voice was barely there, "Help."
"Greg? Greg, is that you?" Grissom sounded concerned. After loosing Warrick, he had become very protective.
"Just you. No one else. Help." Greg passed out.
Grissom was at Greg's door within 10-minutes. His knocks went unanswered. He knew where Greg hid a spare key and easily retrieved it from beneath the troll doll plant stand.
He found Greg laying face down in his bed. There was blood everywhere, but mostly concentrated around Greg's head and surrounding his hips and groin. His body was not only covered in smears and spatter of his own blood, but dark, deep bruises and raised, red strap marks. Several of the scars on Greg's back had become open, gaping wounds.
Grissom stepped to Greg, kneeling beside his bed, trying not to disturb the crime scene. He felt Greg's wrist, and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt Greg's strong heart beat. He gently touched Greg's head.
"Greg, can you hear me?"
"Gris?" He groaned without moving.
"Yes, Greg. It's Grissom. I've called for help Greg. Brass is on his way."
"No! Just you." Greg coughed painfully from the effort.
"Just Brass, Greg. I promise. He and I will process alone." Grissom reassured.
Greg relaxed.
"Do you know who did this, Greg?" Grissom asked.
Greg closed his eye, unable to say his name out loud. He wasn't sure which hurt worse, his body or his soul.
"Greg?"
"Yes." Greg replied.
"Yes. You know who did this?" Grissom wasn't sure what Greg was saying.
"Yes." Greg repeated.
"Who?"
Greg closed his one operational eye again and swallowed hard.
"Stokes." Greg couldn't bring himself to say 'Nick.'
Grissom froze. His years of training told him not to ask Greg if he was sure. So he didn't.
Grissom covered Greg's nude, battered body carefully with a clean sheet he pulled from Greg's linen closet. He hoped to offer a shred of dignity to the man while also preserving as much of the crime scene as possible. "Greg. Brass and I are going to process the scene. If it's okay with you, we'll wait for DNA confirmation to bring Nick in for questioning. It's standard protocol for law enforcement. Confirmation before arrest. Okay?"
Greg was more than okay with that plan. His heart broke at the thought of Nick being arrested in front of his friends. He was also furious with himself for caring after what Nick had done - but he couldn't help it.
"Thank you." Greg mumbled before it dawned on him. "Wait. DNA?"
"Greg, there has been obvious sexual trauma." Grissom said softly.
"But, DNA?" Greg was shocked. Nick was a CSI. Why would he leave behind DNA evidence. Wouldn't he have used condoms and taken them with him? None of this makes sense - this must just be a nightmare and I'll wake up soon. Greg's head spun, his confusion and heartache magnified, and he felt himself drifting off into darkness again.
TBC
