A/N: This was originally written for the one shot soundtrack contest and was inspired by the song Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams.
All bits and bobs of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer and I own no rights to it at all. :(
AGAIN
Jacob Black sat alone in his tiny room and wondered why life doesn't turn out the way you want no matter how hard you try. In his hand was a battered Polaroid; he had looked at it so many times over the years. The white border had begun to peal away due to being handled so often, the once vibrant colors had begun to fade but the picture was still very dear. Held in stasis were two children, the girl a bit older than the boy, they were playing in the sands of First Beach and the grins on both faces were so wide.
The tears slid down his face as he thought about that day, the day he fell in love with Isabella Swan. He lived for those two weeks that sad girl came to visit; even then he had only wanted to make her smile. She broke his heart without even knowing it when she finally convinced her father that she didn't want to come to Forks to see him. It had not just been Charlie that had wanted to see her, but Jake had never spoken up; he had never told her how he felt. When his dad broke the news that Bella wouldn't be coming to visit he was hurt deeply but in the end he just wanted her to be happy and so he didn't bring it up again.
When Charlie bought the truck and told him Bella was coming to stay for good his heart felt like it was going to burst. He couldn't wait to make her smile again, but it still wasn't his time yet. He got one visit from her and then the next he knew she was dating Edward Cullen, his heart broke for a second time.
Then that freak left, and he left the most amazing girl in the world broken in his wake. Jake spent many a sleepless night worrying about how to put Bella back together again. Many times he had started to go to her only to stop at the threshold of his small house, afraid that he would be turned away when he got to her. But that changed the day she came to him, when Bella showed up at his house with the motorcycles he knew it was his chance.
At first it was difficult. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that all was right in the world but she wasn't ready for that. Instead he had to tread lightly; he had to make her smile.
"Bella, can you pass me that wrench, I forgot to grab it before I got the pieces lined up?" She looked up at him slightly confused clutching a can of root-beer in her hand and tentatively picked up the small wrench he was nodding at and held it out to him. "Thanks, it's great to have an extra set of hands around."
She blushed, "You're welcome." and then there it was, the tiniest of smiles, a bit of a turn in the corners of her lips, but a smile none the less and his heart sang to see it.
After that day it became easier to get her to smile, to show her that he valued her presence. It became his mission in life to show her how much he loved her. Everyday she was getting better and everyday they were getting closer to each other.
"So some friends of mine at school wanted to get a group together to go to the movies this weekend." Jake looked up wondering what she was trying to say but waited patiently for Bella to continue. "Would you want to... come with us?" Her face was bright red at this point and she had looked away from him so she didn't see his smile.
"Sure, sure. I think that would be great Bella, can I drive though?" Nothing against the truck, but now that the rabbit was running perfectly he wanted to show it off.
"Sure, sure." Bella replied and then giggled self-consciously as she realized her adoption of Jacob's signature response. Her laughter only made him happier.
Then it was his turn to fail her. When he had first phased he had wanted nothing more than to see her, to tell her about this amazing thing that had happened to him, to tell her that the stories were all true. They wouldn't let him though, he was watched all the time and Sam had ordered him not to say a word. He fought with his father for the first time he could recall, not that they had never disagreed before but never like this. Jacob had never raised his voice to his dad before that night.
"You just don't understand! She needs me! Do you realize what this is going to do to her? I love her, I can't just stay away from her!" He was so angry he was crying at this point. Despite his new found size there was nothing he could do to hold back the emotion that burst forth when he screamed at the man before him. He had started to shake and had to fight the change that threatened to take him over, the tears stemmed the emotion enough that he could hold back, barely.
"Son, I do understand, believe me, but you can't be around her. She wouldn't be safe." Jake's eyes snapped to his father's as he stared in disbelief. "Look at yourself right now. I can tell that you are having to fight tooth and nail to hold yourself together. Do you want Bella to end up like Emily? It only takes one slip and then you can't take it back." Billy's words made sense but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. He had to stay away to protect her.
There have been many times that he has wondered if things may have turned out differently if he hadn't had to push her away then. If he hadn't broken her trust maybe she would have thought twice before she let the vampire come back into her life. She wouldn't be breaking his heart again and he wouldn't be miserable.
The bloodsucker has been back for weeks now, and Jake hardly gets to even see Bella and it's always only on Edward's schedule. She lets him dictate her life like an ignorant child and it's infuriating. Bella is a strong amazing woman, she can take care of herself and that freak should not try to keep her away.
A glance at the clock tells Jake that his pity party has lasted long enough, it's time to go meet the bloodsucker at the border and collect Bella. The drive there was short but he didn't have long to wait before that obnoxious Volvo pulled up and his favorite person climbed out the passenger seat. Jake tried to be the bigger man and ignore his least favorite person climbing out of the driver side. She hadn't been here since the bonfire but tonight it would be just the two of them, he was determined to make the best of it.
When she finally made her way to him he opened his arms on reflex and Bella walked into his embrace. As he held her close to him he looked up to see Edward drive away, his thoughts were safe now, they couldn't be overheard. Jacob took a moment to enjoy the closeness of Bella. Her scent, though masked by the sickly sweetness that is distinctly vampire, was still there. Under everything she was still Bella and he reveled in it until she pushed him away.
"So what do you want to do tonight? We could go walk on the beach, or go back to my place and watch a movie." He wasn't sure how to proceed, he wanted to talk with her but he wasn't sure how to go about it. "I could just give you some time to yourself, I know he never leaves you alone."
"Jake... don't. I know you don't like Edward," understatement of the century. "But for my sake, please don't say things like that around me." How could he deny her anything? Jake bowed his head in assumed shame, though inside he was listing a litany of Edward's faults, he would not say them out loud. "The beach would be nice, the sky is clear for once, we could watch the stars."
"Your wish is my command, the stars it is." He jibed as he opened the passenger door for Bella. Jake drove back to his house to park the car and they walked the short distance to the beach. She didn't seem as happy as she had been before Edward's return. Back in what Jacob thought of as the glory days in his garage she had smiled all the time but now the old sadness had sunk back in, once again Jake vowed to make her smile.
Bella stumbled over a small branch on the path and again on reflex Jacob extended his hand to her. Much to his delight she did not let go after she regained her footing. They walked hand in hand the rest of the way to the beach, stopping to remove their shoes when they reached the sand.
The sand was slightly warmed from the day that had just ended so even though there was a slight chill in the air, the shifting ground was still comfortable to bare feet. They settled side by side to watch the stars and Jacob again claimed Bella's hand.
"I've missed you." He spoke so softly that the words couldn't travel far but Bella still heard them.
"I've missed you too." She murmured back turning on her side to look at him. "I really have, Jake. When you're not being a jerk you are great to be around." She teased, hitting him lightly on his shoulder. There was no chance of her actually hurting the mighty shape-shifter but he rubbed the spot just the same feigning pain he didn't feel. "Oh come on we both know there is no way that actually hurt you. Heck if I had hit you harder it would only have hurt my hand."
"True, but the fact that you felt it necessary to hit me does hurt my pride." Jacob stuck out his bottom lip and widened his eyes in his best sad-puppy face. Bella laughed a him and once again the light was back in her eyes, her smile didn't go away when she finished laughing either. Mission accomplished for now, he just needed to keep it that way. "Do you remember the first time our dad's brought us out here?"
"Oh, god. I think I was about four years old and you knocked over my sand castle and made me cry."
"I didn't do it on purpose, I was almost as clumsy as you back then." This time he caught her hand before she could actually hit him and then solved the problem by wrapping his arms around her. After a brief and futile struggle Bella gave up and just laid her head on his chest. "I made up for it though didn't I?" He had handed her a pail full of sand and told her to dump it on his head. She complied and then hit him with the pail.
"Yeah, then at least I could hit you without hurting myself. You always have been good at cheering me up?" She let out a small sigh, if it hadn't been for his heightened senses Jake would have never heard it.
Bella shifted and snuggled closer against Jacob, "Comfy?" he asked, not knowing where to take the conversation but delighting in having her body so close to his.
"Warmer this way." Bella replied and in response Jake tightened his hold on her. One advantage of his supernatural wolfiness is that he is now a walking, breathing, heating pad.
They stayed silent and watched the stars, it was a novelty on the Olympic peninsula to be able to see them at all since both nights and days were usually overcast. "Cassiopeia is out." Bella spoke sometime later. She reached up to point out five stars that looked somewhat like the letter 'W.' She sat up slightly and turned to look at him, still holding her hand up. "Do you see it?"
Jacob leaned closer as if trying to find where she was pointing, he knew the constellations but there was no reason to spoil Bella's moment by being a know-it-all, that was Edward's game. "We call that one The Third Wife. You heard that story at the bonfire."
"Oh do you have names for all of them?" Dropping her arm Bella let Jake pull her back to where she was once again resting on his chest.
"Some." He intertwined his hand with hers and aimed it again at the sky, almost as if he were holding a gun. "That one there." I centered her index finger on the Big Dipper. "That's the wolf." Jake heard a light chuckle at that. "What?"
"Nothing, I should have known that the bear would have become the wolf, kind of obvious really. Do you have a name for that one?" She pointed to Cygnus, which was vaguely cross shaped. "Is that the cold-one." Her tone was slightly mocking but at least she was enjoying herself.
"No Bella, you forget that our legends go back further than our history with Christians, plus both of us know that crosses have nothing to do with vampires. That one is called 'The Tribe.' The elders did not paint the cold-ones into our skies out of fear that they would be watching and could find us easier. It's superstitious but somehow with everything that has happened I can't just take it for granted, I find myself wondering if there is no such thing as just a superstition after all." He grew quiet after that monologue and just stared up at the stars, releasing Bella's hand reluctantly to brush some of her hair out of his face.
She shifted from her position against him and he started to worry that he had said something wrong, but she just looked up at him and smiled. "Sounds like someone has grown up a bit these past few weeks." Much to Jacob's surprise, Bella stretched her tiny body up and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.
Her sudden movement had caused Jake to turn his head toward her and Bella's lips instead found his own. Lightning shot though him at the contact and he couldn't help but try to make it last. He moved his lips against hers, trying to be gentle but also trying to put in over a decade of feelings, trying to show her how much he loves her.
Bella stiffened beside him and pulled away. When Jake opened his eyes he saw shock written across Bella's face and she scrambled a few feet away from him. "Bella..." he started to speak and she cringed, "Please forgive me..." she curled into herself and refused to meet his eyes. "I can't stop lovin' you." There were no other words to explain what he had done. He took her simple show of affection and turned it into so much more.
The tears began to fall from her eyes then and he gathered her back to him. They remained sitting in the sand as he cradled her slight frame trying to figure out how to fix the situation. Right then he just wanted to go back to looking at the stars and enjoying her closeness but that wouldn't happen now. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you, I just couldn't help it, I've loved you for so long." He realized he was babbling so he shut up and just held her close.
"No." Bella gasped out between sobs and Jacob felt as if his heart was grasped in someone's fist, that single word would be his undoing, but she was still speaking. "Don't be sorry, I don't want you to be sorry."
Jacob wasn't sure how to process what she had said. Did she not want an apology? Was there more to it. Using a single finger he lifted her jaw until her face was in front of his own. "Please tell me what you want Bella, tell me what you feel." Her eye's were closed as if she didn't want to look at him but when he fell silent again she opened them. As her eye's met his own there was something there that hadn't been before.
Wonder of all wonders Bella smiled when her eyes met Jacob's and she found the strength to end the tears and speak. "Don't be sorry for loving me. You have been so much for me and I took it for granted. When we kissed I was startled because I hadn't expected to feel anything. But I did. I felt everything and it scared me." She continued to hold his gaze and tentatively raised a hand to stroke his cheek. "Jacob, my Jacob, I love you too." This time the kiss was deliberate. Her lips were soft and warm, slightly salty from her tears. She matched him movement for movement, her passion melding with his own. It was sweet and perfect and all at once Jacob felt like he was in heaven.
Nothing else mattered, he had finally told Bella how he felt and she had accepted it and amazingly she loved him too. He deepened the kiss, lightly opening her mouth with his tongue, giving her the freedom to pull away if it was too much. Instead she opened her mouth wider and greeted his tongue with her own. Bella shifted her weight to where she was practically in his lap and clung to him tightly.
When they broke away finally Jake stared at the woman he loves, "Say it again, please." He gasped out still in awe.
Bella's smile claimed her whole face as she clung to him impossibly tighter. "My Jacob, I love you too." and once again that night his lips were brought to hers.
