AN: Why I'm doing this, I don't know…but it'll be funny.

Me: *at five years old, tightly hanging on to the hand of my dad…Voldemort!!* Lalalalala….

Voldemort: Wormtail! Where are you maggot!?

Peter: H-here my lord. My liege.

Voldemort: I have terrorizing to commence to, I need you to do something for me.

Peter: Anything my lord! Anything!

Voldemort: Watch my daughter for me while I triumph over the good.

Me: *evil grin*

Peter: Baby sit…her?

Voldemort: No, my puppy! Of course her! It's not even a question, watch her. And if you do anything to upset her…it will cost you your worthless life!

Peter: *gulp* O-ok.

Voldemort: Be good for the worthless maggot dear. *Poof*

Peter: *Mumbling* Baby sitting, Hah! Worthless maggot, I'll show you worthless maggot.

Me: I'm bored.

Peter: So?

Me: So, if you don't do what I say you'll be reduced into a pile of ashes at the sound of my high pitched screaming voice.

Peter: What ever. Look, go color or something.

Me: I'd rather stay here and bother you. *Walks casually closer to Peter, stops a second looks around and pokes his arm* Bother! *Runs away and hides behind a desk*

Peter: *rolls eyes* five year olds…this will be a synch.

Me: *thinking* Stupid old person…this will be a synch! *comes out from desk* *announces* I'm Hungry!

Peter: So?

Me: So feed me maggot!

Peter: *cringes* Fine! What do you want to eat?

Me: Pie.

Peter: You can't have pie.

Me: Why?

Peter: Because there isn't any.

Me: Why?

Peter: Because someone didn't buy any!

Me: Why?

Peter: STOP ASKING ME WHY!

Me: *silent for two minutes* Why?

Peter: AHHHHH!!!

~*Five minutes later Peter is sitting on a couch with me sitting in front of him in silence, looking unblinkingly up at him*~

Peter: Stop looking at me.

Me: *continues to stare*

Peter: Stop it.

Me: *Still stares*

Peter: STOP THE MADDNESS!!!

Me: *Starts to chew loudly on some gum*

Peter: Where did you get that?

Me: *blows bubbles consistently in an irritating, loud, manor*

Peter: What do you want from me demon child!?

Me: Your soul….

Peter: …

Me: You're funny.

Peter: *sarcastically* I try.

Me: *gets up and walks extremely too close to Peter* *Pinches Peter's arm*

Peter:  *squeals like little girl*

Me: I wanna play a game!

Peter: *rocking back in forth holding bruising arm*

Me: Let's play…twister!

Peter: …

Me: You mean to tell me you've never heard of twister!?

Peter: …

Me: *sighs disgustedly and walks out of room*

Peter: Demon

Me: *Comes back with a white box with Twister labeled on the front.*

Peter: I don't want to play that…uh…let's play…see who can stay the quietest for the longest time!

Me: ok!

Peter: *thinking* Ha-ha. This will be great

Me: *Behind Peter's back* He he. This'll be a great time to show him how evil I am….

Peter: Did you say something?

Me: *innocently* noooo….

Peter: Ok, begin…now!

~*Not even three minutes later, Peter falls asleep on couch. Being an evil five year old…I get up and pick up a permanent marker. Its hot pink.*~

Me: *draws Harry Potter style glasses around his eyes, a scar, and even gets out some purple nail polish and paints Peter's toes.*  *Has a brilliant, sudden plan*

He he…*Smacks Peter's arm really hard* MOSQUITO!!

Peter: *Jolts awake*

Me: Lucius did it!

Peter: *Growls*

Me: *not phased* I'm bored

Peter: Demon Child

Me: That hurts my feelings…I should call my daddy. *pretends to walk away*

Peter: ok ok ok! What do you want to do?

Me: Let's play dress up.

Peter: I don't think…

Me: DRESS UP!

Peter: *Cowers* Ok!

Me: *evil grin* good.

~*Peter is forced to wear a pink tutu and a plastic crown. He is not happy.*~

Peter: I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job…

Me: *laughing hysterically* you look funny!

Peter: grumble grumble…Why did you get to be Spiderman?

Me: Cause, I'm better than you. Besides, tutus are for wussies, so naturally I thought you would want to wear it.

Peter: *Moves towards me as if he is going to strangle little old me.*

Me: Watch it happy fingers! All I have to do is scream and you'll be dust!

Peter: *red in the face* I hate this job….and I-hate-you!

Me: So?

Peter: AHHHHH!!!! *falls to floor and crawls into the corner, rolling into a little ball and sucking his thumb.*

Me: *grabs camera and takes a picture of the big doofus in the ballerina costume and pink Harry Potter glasses and a lightning bolt scar, not to mention pretty purple finger nails and toe nails*

Peter: Cant, stay, calm, demon child…evil.

Voldemort: *poof* Ah the life of a master

Me: *squeals* Daddy!!!!

Peter: *still rocking back in forth muttering insane comments to himself*

Me: Daddy! Peter is soooo boring! I'm so glad you're back!

Voldemort: Slave! Get over here!

Peter: *Slowly walks over to his master* Master, if I may…your daughter is the most evil thing in the world and can easily surpass your malevolence.

Voldemort: *Pats me on the head* Good girl, Angel.

Peter: *Faints*