AN: Why I'm doing this, I don't know…but it'll be funny.
Me: *at five years old, tightly hanging on to the hand of my dad…Voldemort!!* Lalalalala….
Voldemort: Wormtail! Where are you maggot!?
Peter: H-here my lord. My liege.
Voldemort: I have terrorizing to commence to, I need you to do something for me.
Peter: Anything my lord! Anything!
Voldemort: Watch my daughter for me while I triumph over the good.
Me: *evil grin*
Peter: Baby sit…her?
Voldemort: No, my puppy! Of course her! It's not even a question, watch her. And if you do anything to upset her…it will cost you your worthless life!
Peter: *gulp* O-ok.
Voldemort: Be good for the worthless maggot dear. *Poof*
Peter: *Mumbling* Baby sitting, Hah! Worthless maggot, I'll show you worthless maggot.
Me: I'm bored.
Peter: So?
Me: So, if you don't do what I say you'll be reduced into a pile of ashes at the sound of my high pitched screaming voice.
Peter: What ever. Look, go color or something.
Me: I'd rather stay here and bother you. *Walks casually closer to Peter, stops a second looks around and pokes his arm* Bother! *Runs away and hides behind a desk*
Peter: *rolls eyes* five year olds…this will be a synch.
Me: *thinking* Stupid old person…this will be a synch! *comes out from desk* *announces* I'm Hungry!
Peter: So?
Me: So feed me maggot!
Peter: *cringes* Fine! What do you want to eat?
Me: Pie.
Peter: You can't have pie.
Me: Why?
Peter: Because there isn't any.
Me: Why?
Peter: Because someone didn't buy any!
Me: Why?
Peter: STOP ASKING ME WHY!
Me: *silent for two minutes* Why?
Peter: AHHHHH!!!
~*Five minutes later Peter is sitting on a couch with me sitting in front of him in silence, looking unblinkingly up at him*~
Peter: Stop looking at me.
Me: *continues to stare*
Peter: Stop it.
Me: *Still stares*
Peter: STOP THE MADDNESS!!!
Me: *Starts to chew loudly on some gum*
Peter: Where did you get that?
Me: *blows bubbles consistently in an irritating, loud, manor*
Peter: What do you want from me demon child!?
Me: Your soul….
Peter: …
Me: You're funny.
Peter: *sarcastically* I try.
Me: *gets up and walks extremely too close to Peter* *Pinches Peter's arm*
Peter: *squeals like little girl*
Me: I wanna play a game!
Peter: *rocking back in forth holding bruising arm*
Me: Let's play…twister!
Peter: …
Me: You mean to tell me you've never heard of twister!?
Peter: …
Me: *sighs disgustedly and walks out of room*
Peter: Demon
Me: *Comes back with a white box with Twister labeled on the front.*
Peter: I don't want to play that…uh…let's play…see who can stay the quietest for the longest time!
Me: ok!
Peter: *thinking* Ha-ha. This will be great
Me: *Behind Peter's back* He he. This'll be a great time to show him how evil I am….
Peter: Did you say something?
Me: *innocently* noooo….
Peter: Ok, begin…now!
~*Not even three minutes later, Peter falls asleep on couch. Being an evil five year old…I get up and pick up a permanent marker. Its hot pink.*~
Me: *draws Harry Potter style glasses around his eyes, a scar, and even gets out some purple nail polish and paints Peter's toes.* *Has a brilliant, sudden plan*
He he…*Smacks Peter's arm really hard* MOSQUITO!!
Peter: *Jolts awake*
Me: Lucius did it!
Peter: *Growls*
Me: *not phased* I'm bored
Peter: Demon Child
Me: That hurts my feelings…I should call my daddy. *pretends to walk away*
Peter: ok ok ok! What do you want to do?
Me: Let's play dress up.
Peter: I don't think…
Me: DRESS UP!
Peter: *Cowers* Ok!
Me: *evil grin* good.
~*Peter is forced to wear a pink tutu and a plastic crown. He is not happy.*~
Peter: I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job…
Me: *laughing hysterically* you look funny!
Peter: grumble grumble…Why did you get to be Spiderman?
Me: Cause, I'm better than you. Besides, tutus are for wussies, so naturally I thought you would want to wear it.
Peter: *Moves towards me as if he is going to strangle little old me.*
Me: Watch it happy fingers! All I have to do is scream and you'll be dust!
Peter: *red in the face* I hate this job….and I-hate-you!
Me: So?
Peter: AHHHHH!!!! *falls to floor and crawls into the corner, rolling into a little ball and sucking his thumb.*
Me: *grabs camera and takes a picture of the big doofus in the ballerina costume and pink Harry Potter glasses and a lightning bolt scar, not to mention pretty purple finger nails and toe nails*
Peter: Cant, stay, calm, demon child…evil.
Voldemort: *poof* Ah the life of a master
Me: *squeals* Daddy!!!!
Peter: *still rocking back in forth muttering insane comments to himself*
Me: Daddy! Peter is soooo boring! I'm so glad you're back!
Voldemort: Slave! Get over here!
Peter: *Slowly walks over to his master* Master, if I may…your daughter is the most evil thing in the world and can easily surpass your malevolence.
Voldemort: *Pats me on the head* Good girl, Angel.
Peter: *Faints*
