Disclaimer: Generic Disclaimers apply. The story really isn't even mine... Haha.
A/N: This is the companion piece the awesome Winds of Water allowed me to write. It goes along with her Love Takes Time fic, which you should go read if you like Roy/Ed and haven't. In fact, whats the point in reading this if you haven't read that? At that... Go read all her fics. They're amazing. Anyway, I hope I did this justice. I enjoyed it at least, but then I seem to have a weird liking to writing introspection.
My Roy!Muse is such a nag.
Oh, and, conversation in italics is straight from Winds' fic. I thought it was a nice touch, or at least the muse did.
Also you can now find me on LJ which will, unless I get lazy or forget, keep a notice of what fics I'm working on and what not. Theres a link to my LJ in my profile.
Worth The Wait
Words: 1547
The wine hit his palate with a fruity taste, and an herbal undertone that was hardly noticeable. Roy didn't even know what vintage it was. He hadn't looked at the label when he'd grabbed it off his mother's wine rack. Still the taste and the liquor managed to steady his nerves even if only a little bit. He doubted even getting himself stupid drunk off of something hard would make him forget his nerves completely... And Edward would never forgive him if he showed up to find Roy drunk as hell.
Besides, Roy wanted to be conscious and coherent when Ed showed up... It had been so long.
In reality it had only been a few days since he had seen the young man, but on another score? Years.
It had been years since he'd seen his Edward.
Roy stared down into the dark red liquid, hand moving just enough to make it swirl into a faint vortex in the bowl of the wine glass. Around him the airy house of his childhood was silent but for the sounds of birdsong filtering in through an open window somewhere. The kitchen, where he sat, held more memories tucked around that very table for him right then than he cared to examine, yet examine them he did. He couldn't seem to keep his mind off of them, after all.
It had been such a long time...
Those first few hours had been the hardest, yet easiest. At the time they had seemed like the worst moments of his life, but as the years passed he would find that had been a fool hardy mistake of a youth who didn't know better. The only thing that had fortified him then was that there would be an again, this wasn't the end; all he had to do was wait, and wait he would. In those early days, weeks, months Roy had spent a good deal of time contemplating temporal paradox and wondering just who had started the cycle. He'd thought about it until his head ached, and then forgotten it. For awhile. It was a thought he'd find himself thinking many, many times over the years.
Every triumph made him wonder what Edward would say about it. The day he got his qualification as a State Alchemist had been a day of pulling up memories of those few days, and the encouragement and assurances of greatness Ed had given him. A day of looking at the array on the backs of his gloves and remembering the way Edward had been his saving grace and aid in this, had essentially helped make him who he was, and who he was to become.
Ishbal had been a special and peculiar kind of hell for him. The nights had been cold and lonely, and he'd wished desperately that the one he loved could have been there with him while at the same time horribly thankful he wasn't. He didn't think he liked the idea of Ed in this situation, and he vowed that when the time came he'd protect him from it for as long as he could. Sometimes he had wondered why Edward hadn't warned him, but then he wondered if maybe he had if only in a vague way.
"Not yet, not here."
Four little words that could mean anything at all, but seemed so appropriate right then as he lifted his hand and rained a fire that he loved down for a purpose he couldn't stand.
That war and all it's atrocities had only made his memory sharper; and while some would think that time would dull them, dull the ache and brightness they brought, it didn't. Roy couldn't have forgotten even if he had desired to, and he never did or would. Those memories were what kept him moving forward, even in the most desperate moments.
He had someone waiting, even if he was doing the waiting. He had someone that needed him to be alive, to be someone, to be waiting. There would be no laying down, no giving up, no dying for him. He would become the man that Edward had told him he could be, and he would be there to make sure Edward was protected and became the man Roy loved.
He had to do it, for both of them. They deserved that happy ending, and he had declared he would make that a reality when he'd first decided to pursue that strange enigmatic blond who had appeared at his doorstep.
"You have to understand that reality is just that… and those fairytale love stories of destiny are hardly the norm."
"I know. I'll try... I'll make my own reality."
Fantasies had burned him in the night and chased away the loneliness for a time, but memories of a reality that tasted so sweet and bitter in his mouth had made them pale. The euphoria was fast to die when he knew his eyes would open only to find himself alone and without recourse.
The waiting had been the hardest part, of course. With each year that passed by Roy had thought maybe, maybe, maybe it would come this year. And with each year it didn't happen he climbed the ladder of the military hierarchy determined to both move towards his goal and be in a position that would be the most help to Ed. When the letters did appear there was nothing like the elation he felt. It was like running a triathlon and knowing you were reaching the final legs of the race. Only a little more waiting, only a little more...
Roy had expected it to be easier,fool that he was, once he knew Ed was alive, once he could keep tabs on the situation, but it wasn't. It was only harder knowing that Ed was there, but still a child.
He often wondered if he ought to feel guilty about fantasizing about the older version he'd known so intimately while Edward was nothing more than a twelve year old looking for hope.
It was an odd thing, to say the least, to be the one helping Ed. It brought back those thoughts that plagued him long ago of this strange cycle.
Roy had to help Edward become the man he would be so that Edward could go back in time to help Roy become the man he was so that he could help Edward, so that Ed could go back, so that they could fall in love and...
It was a circle, a cycle, unstoppable, and unwavering. It was a comfort, but a cold one. It was a cycle that Roy would make sure was perpetuated at all costs. He didn't want to loose this, not after so long.
Not after watching Edward grow, and watching him become the person he loved.
That had been the hardest of all; watching the Edward Elric he knew from years gone by walk into his office day in and day out, his hopes rising with each new day. Would today be the day? Would the next?
It hurt in an unbelievably amazing way. So close, yet so far.
The bickering and the bastard persona had been a crutch for Roy during those years. It had allowed him a wall to retreat behind, and watch from in an almost disjointed fashion.
Then that day, just a few days ago, it had finally happened. Edward had come to him with an idea, an idea about time travel. Roy had barely been able to breathe. It was time, at long last. The permission was given, and Roy could barely think to answer Hawkeye's concerns.
Of course, he'd been sure. He knew the outcome. Roy had never been more sure of something in his life. He'd swam through the rest of the wait in a mixture of nerves, euphoria, and a dream like surreality. It was like waking up and going to sleep all at once.
And now here he sat, the fingers of one hand gripping the wine glass while the other toyed with a little velvet box that he'd been waiting to have a reason to toy with. Surely he would know if anything had gone wrong, or changed, wouldn't he? But, ah, that was the horrors of time... If something had changed he'd never know, would he? But he was here, and he was waiting so Roy figured things hadn't changed.
A familiar bark broke through his musings, a sound he hadn't heard in a very long time. Roy's breath hitched in his throat, and his fingers fumbled the box making it thump back down against the table top a lot harder than any other time before. He swallowed the rest of the wine in the glass to fortify himself, and gathered courage around him like a cloak.
The box went into a pocket.
As he walked toward the front door Roy went over his mental checklist. Everything was ready. Everything was in place. Now all he needed was his most important treasure.
Roy opened the door to stare down at a scene that looked like it had jumped from his memory.
The wait was over, and Roy knew every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year had been worth it.
"Roy?"
"What, no fainting?"
