Heart Over Head
I know I am a terrible updater. I really am. And I apologise for those people who actually still remember my stories. Unfortunately I doubt I will be able to update them. Now I'm at Uni I am meant to be a grown up and, unfortunately, am meant to work. Besides which, I'm writing my own thing and I want to put all my effort into that.
This being said, I could not help but write this. I've had a crappy day – actually a couple of crappy days – and writing this has made me feel a little better.
This story is dedicated to SexiTigris011, who has made a FANTASTIC vid that I requested Elena – Let your heart decide (Stefan v Damon). Please look it up, it's brilliant. This is my way of saying thank you.
The story begins right at the end of the latest episode when Isabel returns. It's been a long time since I've written anything for the masses, so please let me know how it is. I'm actually really proud of this.
It's only a oneshot. Unfortunately I don't have the time to keep up with stories, so this'll have to do. I hope this makes up for my lack of updates!
xXx
Elena hadn't slept the entire night. As dawn broke she sat up and took a shower, letting the warm water pour down her body. As if it helped. Her mind was like a rollercoaster, going so fast it was uncontrollable.
Isabel was back.
Elena didn't know what to do. What did Isabel want? She wasn't naive to think that her return had nothing to do with her. What angered her though, more than anything, was that Isabel had brought Jenna into this too. Elena had been up long enough to know that Jenna hadn't gotten a wink of sleep either.
She didn't feel like going out today – she felt like getting on a plane and heading off the Florida and forgetting Mystic Falls. But as tempting as it was, Elena knew she couldn't abandoned her friends and family to deal with this. There was also the fact that she would probably be kidnapped by Klaus or one of his minions if she tried that.
So instead of jetting off to Florida, Elena did the next best thing: crawled back under the covers of her bed with a good book and her journal. She would attempt to forget Mystic Falls from here, even though deep down she knew in a few hours something would happen – Isabel would reappear or John would coming storming in or they'd find out legless Goblins existed – that would make her climb out of bed and deal with it. But she could at least have a few hours.
It had only been five minutes when there was a knock on her bedroom door. Jenna poked her head in. "Can I come in?"
Slapping the book shut, Elena nodded, inwardly sighing. She knew she would have to talk to Jenna sooner or later.
Her aunt sat at the edge of the bed. "How're you feeling?"
"Okay I guess," Elena answered. She couldn't take her eyes off Jenna's dark circles. "What about you?"
Jenna let out a shaky breath, and for a brief moment Elena feared she'd burst into tears right there. Elena had seen her aunt cry plenty of times, like when her mother died and when Lucas broke up with Peyton in One Tree Hill, but right now Elena couldn't take care of her. Not when she wanted to cry too.
"I'm okay. Just...digesting everything that's going on." Jenna shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me you met Isabel?"
Elena's cheeks grew red. "I'm sorry Jenna. It's...it didn't go well, and nothing really changed, so what was the point in telling you?"
"What was the point in telling me? Because I would have supported you! I can't imagine what you've been going through!" (Jenna didn't know the half of it) "I wish you could have confided in me, that's all," she said, calming slightly.
"I'm sorry," Elena murmured, feeling guilty. "I felt as if it was something I had to do on me own."
Jenna's face grew sympathetic. The sudden silence was comforting, letting Elena's mind relax. It sorely needed a break, otherwise she would collapse. After a few minutes Elena said, "I'm sorry you didn't sleep."
"Believe me, I am too," Jenna said, cracking a smile. Elena instantly felt better – at least they could joke still. "But the whole Isabel issue wasn't the only thing that was keeping me up. There was something else too."
It was at that moment Elena noticed that Jenna looked tense: restless, her hands played with the quilt over the bed, her face like an egg waiting to be cracked. Why was Jenna so nervous? Surely she would be more scared about confronting Elena about her birth mother, which she had already done.
After what seemed like years, Jenna said, "I saw it, last night. It finally connected, all of it. I-" Her voice caught in her throat.
Elena sat up straighter. "What is it Jenna?" she asked. Her heart was racing: could Jenna possibly know about vampires? Had Alaric had an attack of the conscience and blurted it all out?
Jenna finally looked up, meeting Elena's eye. "You and Damon."
Of all the things in the world Elena had been expecting...it wasn't that. "What?"
"I saw it Elena. I finally get it."
"Get it? What are you talking about?"
Jenna stared at her. Elena stared back, proving that she really didn't have a clue what Jenna was talking about. "Last night?"
xXx
"My name is Isabel. I'm Elena's birth mother." Isabel then glances towards Elena, giving her such a deeply sappy look that Elena wants to vomit.
Jenna is still standing at the door, her eyes fixed on Isabel. Elena can't say anything: all the words she has are stuck in her throat. She is completely stunned. Isabel? Here? Why? Why is she here, when Katherine and John are here and when they've had a crazy day and night and all Elena wants to do is go to sleep?
Before Elena can think, Jenna says, "I'm sorry," she says, shaking her head. "Do you want to-"
Elena knows what's going to happen: it's like a slow moving car crash. You can see it happening, but you are powerless to stop it. Elena opening her mouth, knowing her words would be in vain, when he comes along.
(And of course it would be him. Because when Elena is having a crisis, or when she needs someone else to take a turn driving the car, he appears out of thin air. As if she's called him.)
Damon pushes past Isabel into the house, cutting Jenna out. "Is there a bad smell around here, or is it just me?" He enters the house, jerking his head back to look at Isabel. "Isabel."
Elena thinks that Isabel will try to remain motherly, but her gaze straightens, eyes narrow, and lips curl into a smirk. "Damon."
The very fact that Isabel has broken character makes Elena wonder what Isabel and Damon had back then, and whether it was more than just a mercy-turning.
It sickens her to think of the two of them like that.
"Get lost Isabel," says Damon.
Isabel doesn't say anything – what can she say? But Jenna recovers. "Damon, you can't do that! She's Elena's birth mother! It's Elena's decision-"
"Elena, do you want her here?" For the first time Damon looks to Elena – the girl who is paralysed, not so much by the shock of Isabel turning up but by the fact that, once again, Damon has managed to take the wheel and steer them away from disaster.
Numb, Elena shakes her head. Damon shoots her a quick grin before slamming the door in Isabel's face.
Jenna looks back and forth between Damon and Elena, who are still staring at each other. "What's going on?" she demands.
"Later," Damon says. He walks to Elena, taking her arm and shuffling her up the stairs. "We need to talk."
"You can't just walk away!" Jenna cries. Her voice is almost like a screech of confusion. "Elena, that was you're mother. Don't you at least want to talk to her?"
And because she knows it will shut Jenna up, Elena half turns on the stairs (Damon makes a move to push her up them but she sends a look that could wilt a rose) and says, "I've already talked to her Jenna." As Jenna's mouth drops, she continues: "I don't want to do it again."
Jenna is still staring at her in shock. Damon glances at her and quickly decides not to deal with it, shoving Elena back up the stairs.
As soon as they are safely in her bedroom, Damon turns to her. "Isabel's back?"
"I know!" hisses Elena. She begins to pace, her hand on her hip. She can't believe this. She doesn't want to believe this. Elena is perfectly happy to have her birth parents disappear as quickly as they arrived, leaving the memory of her real parents intact. She doesn't know why Isabel is here. She doubts it can be for her. And if it is for her, it can only be something to make her life worse.
"What is she doing here?" Damon asks. Usually when he's in her room he lounges on her bed, gazing at the photographs on her mirror and trying to peek in her underwear draw when she's not looking. Oh, and he and her teddy seem to be best mates. Every time Damon enters her room he picks up Mr Fuzz and carries him round with her, and every time he does this Elena reminds herself to ask him if he ever had a stuffed bear – when it's the right time, of course. But now he is standing by her door, watching Elena. He looks as if he wants to punch the wall – or rather, tear somebody's head off.
"I don't know!" Elena runs a hand through her long coffee-coloured hair. "Do you think she's working with Katherine?"
"Do you think she's working with John?" Damon counters.
Elena lets out a groan. "Why? Why did she have to tell Jenna? Why couldn't she have just come to me?"
"She's trying to stir trouble. It makes things more difficult to keep Jenna out the loop. That's the only reason-" He stops speaking suddenly, his eyes widening. Elena knows that look.
"What?" she asks, finally standing still.
"Nothing," Damon answers quickly – a little too quickly.
But Elena knows Damon: he can be cold, cruel and he does things that makes her want to scream and cry at the same time, but he's smart. He makes connections to things that don't seem to be linked in any way; he sees holes in plans where there aren't holes. He smarter than the rest of them who watch everything happen as if it's on television, reacting before they can draw breath. She hates to admit this, but he's smarter than Stefan.
"Damon." Elena goes towards him, so close she could touch him, but she doesn't. "Tell me."
(And she knows that, because she is Elena Gilbert, Damon can't lie to her)
"Isabel's back," he says after a pause. "And so is John. Your parents, Elena. They could win custody over you."
Elena's hand flies to her mouth. She had not even considered that. John and Isabel – being her parents. She could not imagine getting ready for school, coming down for breakfast with those two at the table. They couldn't play happy families – they weren't a family. They made sure of that years ago. Her eyes begin to tear up, and Damon notices. He takes her in his arms as if it's secondary instinct, shushing her as she begins to sob.
"Can – I – I don't-"
"Shh," Damon murmurs. "I won't let them take you."
"But-"
"I won't let them take you. I promise."
His words are sincere, and she can't help but lift her gaze to his. He looks down at her, and their stare is so strong and captivating that a building could burst into flames, an earthquake could occur, a tsunami could come towards them, and they wouldn't break their gaze.
Unfortunately, a nosy aunt wasn't on that list.
"Oh." Elena and Damon jump at the new voice, heads turning simultaneously. Jenna mutters an apology and closes the door again, leaving the couple in a silence that is deafening.
Elena is the first to break away. Tearing herself away from Damon's arms, she wipes her eyes on her sleeve. "I should call Stefan," she murmurs, a betrayal.
Damon's dark gaze lingers on her for a moment before nodding. "I'll go see what Katherine knows," he offers, and in the blink of an eye he is gone. Elena notes that both she and Damon are going to deal with the others, running back to the one's they're used to, like security blankets.
Elena does not allow herself to think that she doesn't want to be secure.
xXx
"I don't get it Jenna," Elena said. She attempted to make her voice sound firm. She did not want to have this conversation. The girl that she had been before her parents died had this argument with the girl that she was now many times, and she refused to listen to her former self.
"Yes, you do," Jenna said gently. She gave Elena an almost pitying smile, one which made Elena want to slap her. Taking a deep breath, her aunt continued. "You and Damon have something Elena and, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you should...well, see what's there."
Elena could not take her eyes off her aunt. Hell, she could barely breathe. "You're telling me to go out with Damon."
Jenna closed her eyes. "I know. I'm the worst guardian in the world."
"But – it's Damon."
"I know, Elena. And that's why I'm telling you to do this." Jenna took another deep breath and flexed her hand, as if she wanted to be holding a glass. "Try as I might, I can't ignore the signs."
"What signs?" cried Elena. Her heart was pounding in her rib cage. Shut up Jenna. Please don't say it. Don't make it real.
"I'd seen you with him before: those smouldering gazes that pass between you in a split second. And I know you think he's an ass, but if you really thought that, then why do I hear you on the phone with him half the time? Why does he get invited to family barbecues, and spending time in your bedroom? If you really didn't want him here, you wouldn't."
"But-"
"And then there's the kiss that I saw. Out on the porch."
She caught herself just in time. She couldn't tell Jenna it wasn't her – she didn't need her aunt learning about vampires, they would waste the entire day. "That was nothing Jenna, really-"
"When I walked in on you two in the bedroom." Jenna's gaze was firm. "I can't ignore it Elena. I don't understand why you can."
"How about Stefan?" Elena cried. She had given up trying to be calm. It honestly felt as if she was in a dream; never in a million years would she have thought that Jenna would be encouraging her to date Damon. Jenna thought Damon was bad news, and she didn't know the half of it. "Y'know, my boyfriend? What about him?"
For the first time, Jenna appeared torn. She placed a hand on Elena's, which the girl tried to shake off. "I know. Stefan's a wonderful boy. He's respectable and kind and...comfortable. He's the logical choice. He's the choice that you would pick now – the girl whose cautious and doesn't take chances. But the girl who you were, before your parents died...she knew how to follow her heart."
No.
Jenna stroked her niece's hair. "Stefan's the choice your head makes," she murmured. "But Damon...he's the choice your heart makes."
That did it. Jenna's logical had finally done it: it broke the dam and released the flood gates. Elena could not stop the tears from pouring down her face, the sobs shaking her chest. She did not realise Jenna was holding her, soothing her with soft words. It had been such an effort to block out her thoughts of Damon, her heart's yearning. Now that Jenna had finally presented Elena with an argument she could not deny, her body broke down.
Here's what Elena did not know: 95% of her was in love with Stefan, 5% was in love with Damon. But when that 5% is the heart, well, that makes all the difference.
xXx
PLEASE review! They'll get me smiling again!
