Gibbs leaned in and dragged the sander over the wood again, pressing harder and harder with each stroke. It had been a rough day. Ever since Shannon and Kelly died their birthdays were hard for him because it was like a punch to the gut that reminded him they were never going to have another birthday. Today had been hard because it was the birthday of another woman he had let down. Everyone girl he has ever loved has left him: Shannon, Kelly, Kate, Jenny, and now Ziva. He knew she wasn't dead but at the moment she might as well be because the hurt was the same. His body didn't know the difference between never coming back and might never comeback.
Frustrated he threw down the sander and walked over to his tool bench. He was unscrewing a mason jar when he first heard a noise. There were unfamiliar footsteps coming from upstairs. He set down his glass and reached back for his gun under the workbench. Suddenly the footsteps stopped and he saw Ziva appear at the top of the steps. He immediately moved his hand away from the gun and turned back to the bourbon, trying desperately to hide the fact that he was shocked to see her. He couldn't believe he hadn't recognized the sound of her footfalls when she entered the house.
"Gibbs?" Ziva called quietly as she walked down a few more steps. There was no reply so she took a few more steps. "May I come down?" This caught Gibbs attention and he turned quickly to face her.
"Don't you remember what I told you on the phone, my doors always open? Always was always will be." At that Ziva couldn't hold back any longer, she flew down the remaining steps and engulfed Gibbs in a tight hug. "Welcome home kid, we missed you." Gibbs whispered to her as he hugged her back. Ziva let out a small sob as she pulled Gibbs closer. When they finally broke apart neither said a word they just smiled at each other.
"I missed you too." Ziva said as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "It is so good to be home."
Gibbs smiled but Ziva didn't miss the look of pain that flashed briefly across her face. "What is wrong Gibbs?" Ziva asked her brow furrowed in concern, trying to figure out what she said that upset him. "Are you home for good now Ziver?" Ziva looked at him, wondering why he would ask her such a question, but after a moment's hesitation she realized it didn't matter why he was asking because the answer would still be the same.
"Yes." She said simply and she watched as Gibbs face broke into a grin. He handed her a cup of bourbon and clicked his against hers. They fell into a comfortable silence as Gibbs picked his sander back up and resumed his project. Ziva let herself become distracted by the familiar sounds of Gibbs working as the smell of bourbon and sawdust surrounded her. She was happy he wasn't asking too many questions, not that she had expected him too. Suddenly, she was brought out of her daydream when Gibbs asked.
"Did you go see DiNozzo yet?" Judging by the way her shoulders tensed at the suggestion Gibbs knew she hadn't been able to face him yet.
"What if he does not want to see me?" Ziva asked shakily after a long pause. Gibbs set down his sander and turned to face her.
"Do you really believe that?"
Ziva looked at her feet and almost whispered "No, but I am afraid. What if I waited too long? What if he has moved on and no longer needs me? What if when I am finally ready to be with him he is no longer ready for me?"
"Ziver" Gibbs implored as he lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him again. "True love doesn't have a time stamp. Tony would have waited forever for you." Ziva couldn't help but smile.
"So he has not moved on?"
"Nope." Gibbs said with a knowing smile. "I don't think he could. He has changed though; you leaving made him grow up. He started taking better care of himself, doing things outside of work, not letting the job run his life."
"I do not understand then." Ziva said as she continued to study Gibbs.
"Why did you stay in Israel Ziva?"
"To become a better person." She said quietly. "To become a person that was worthy of Tony's love, and a person that I could love as well."
"Exactly." Gibbs said as he once again turned back to his work, hoping she would figure out what he was implying.
"Are you saying that Tony wanted to become a better person for me?" Ziva asked. She was almost positive that was what Gibbs had implied but she was so shocked that she felt she needed to check.
"Yup." Gibbs replied without looking up.
Inside he was ecstatic. He could not have been happier that Ziva was finally home, but Gibbs also knew that she was using him as way to avoid talking to the one person she really needed to, so he hoped that by falling back into his quiet stern ways she would have no choice but to face Tony. But he knew she did have a choice, and he needed to know what she was going to pick.
"You have a choice to make Ziva." Gibbs said calmly as he continued to sand his project. "You can either go see him and be prepared to stay, or you can leave and not visit him at all. You leaving him damn near killed him last time and I am not going to let you hurt him by leaving again."
Ziva felt her breath hitch. "I am so sorry." She whispered quietly as she fought back the tears that were once again threatening to spill.
"Rule 6 kid." Gibbs replied with a smirk. "But honestly I know he doesn't want your apology. He wants you and if you aren't prepared to commit then don't go. You need to know that to him this time would be forever, are you ready for that?" Gibbs asked her as she turned to study her noticed the look of realization cross her face as his words sunk in.
"Forever." Ziva said with a sad smile. "You seem so sure."
He just smirked and said "His key is hanging on the key ring by the front door. It's the one with the movie reel on it if it's still there tomorrow I will know you made your choice and I will not tell him you came to see me tonight. Whatever you choose know I'm still here for you kid and my door is still open." And with that Gibbs turned back to his work. He was silently praying to every deity he could think of that Ziva would be brave enough to go upstairs and grab Tony's key, but he was surprised when she didn't move. "Something wrong Ziver?"
"I cannot go Gibbs." Ziva said with a shrug.
"Excuse me?" Was Gibbs's baffled reply.
"I don't have a car and I do not think I can get a cab at this time of night."
Gibbs bit back another grin. "Keys to the truck are on the same key ring." Ziva engulfed him in a hug that would have made Abby proud before dashing back towards the stairs.
"Good luck Ziver and Happy Birthday!" Gibbs called after her, and just as he was beginning to think she didn't hear him he heard her yell "Thank you Gibbs." Right before the door closed.
"Finally!" Tony mumbled as he felt the key click in the lock. He shoved the door open and threw his bag on the floor. It had been a long day. Sighing he walked over and gave Kate a pinch of her fish food.
"Two years, one month, two weeks, and five days, I don't know how much longer I can wait Kate." Tony said sadly as he watched Kate devour her food.
A small smile crept across his face as he looked at his fish "At least I still have you right? You're not gonna leave me are you?" Slowly Tony made his way over to his bedroom and hung up his suit. After he had changed into more comfortable clothes Tony wandered into his kitchen and grabbed a beer. He had been eating better, exercising more, and drinking less, but today he needed something to take the edge off.
As Tony walked back into his living room he noticed his calendar hanging on the wall over Kate's bowl. He grabbed a pen and walked over to the wall. He carefully wrote "Happy Birthday Zi." In neat letters before he put a small "X" in the corner of the square. This had been how he kept track of how long it had been since he had last seen her, but in all honesty it didn't matter because on days like this the number of days didn't matter it was just too long.
"I hope you're okay." Tony said to no one in particular as he wandered back into his living room. He knew how pathetic it was to still miss her this much, but two days a year he let himself not care: the anniversary of the day he met her and her birthday. It was getting better but it was still hard. They had a long since filled her place on the team and he had grown to love Bishop like a sister over the past few years once he was able to accept that she wasn't replacing Ziva.
He was able to sleep normally again and usually only missed sleep for work nowadays. He had even let McGee set him up with a few of Delilah's friends, not that those dates had gone anywhere, but he still believed it was good that he was trying. Tony knew that deep down he would always love Ziva, but there were sometimes when he wondered if he should just man up and move on. Of course he didn't want to but as the weeks ticked by he began to wonder if she had forgotten about him.
There was always the hope that she would one day show up and tell him she couldn't live without him, but on days like today being optimistic was hard. Absentmindedly he strolled over to his piano and sat down. He had been playing more frequently since Ziva had left because he knew how much she loved music. The top of the piano was littered with pieces he had learned for her. There was even a couple that he learned in honor of her sister Tali and he made sure to always play them on Tali's birthday. Tonight Tony wasn't sure what he wanted to play so he began to drag his fingers aimlessly across the keys. Slowly but surely a familiar melody floated out of his random strokes and Tony smiled; the song reminded him so much of her.
Ziva pulled Gibbs's beat up truck into the parking space outside Tony's building and cut the engine. She took several deep breaths and tried to steady her shaking hands. Slowly she opened the car and locked the door. Before she knew it she was standing outside the apartment of the man who had risked everything to save her so many times. Her hands shook and she felt like she was going to throw up as she dug around in her pocket for the key Gibbs gave her. As she searched for the key she began to hear faint music coming from behind Tony's door.
"And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be" Ziva stopped and clasped her hand over her mouth to prevent a sob from escaping her lips. She knew Tony could play the piano but she had never heard him sing. The lyrics ripped at her heart and she couldn't bring herself to unlock the door. Clutching the key in her shaking hands she leaned back against the door and listed as Tony continued to sing.
"I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you." What have I done? Ziva thought helplessly to herself as she listed to Tony pour his heart out to an empty apartment.
"I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you." Couldn't live without you, I guess rang eerily in Ziva's mind as she continued to listen to Tony sing.
Ziva wanted nothing more than to burst into tears and run away, but that wasn't who she was anymore. She did not spend all that time in Israel in vain, she was different. She was kinder, stronger, and braver and she would not run.
"Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet." Finally Ziva couldn't take it anymore and before she knew what she was doing she had put the key in the lock and opened the door.
Tony stopped singing and looked up when he heard the door click and reached for his gun. He discovered that he had left it in his bedroom and felt a pang of fear deep in his gut. He jumped up and ran into his room to grab his weapon. He listened in the doorway of his bedroom as the footsteps went over to the piano and then stopped. Drawing his weapon he walked out into his living room ready to confront anyone who made the mistake of bothering him tonight. "Ziva…" He gasped as her curly hair came into view.
Ziva smiled and whispered "Hello Tony." Tony dropped his weapon and burst into tears. "Oh Tony!" Ziva gasped as she watched the man who had once been her rock crumple right before her eyes.
"Why did this have to happen tonight?" Tony cried. Ziva's stomach flipped. He did not want her there, how could Gibbs have been so wrong? Ziva turned and was just about to walk back to the door when Tony started towards the piano.
She froze when he stopped about a foot away from her. "You are not happy to see me." She accused sadly as a stray tear slipped down her cheek.
"You are not real." Tony replied in a tone as sad as her own.
What did he just say? Ziva thought to herself. Oh my god… It's not that he does not want me; it's that he does not think I am really here. Ziva stood their frozen for a minute, unsure of what exactly to say, but before she could decide Tony tried to move around her to sit back down at the piano, bumping her shoulder in the process. He took a few more steps before his head whipped around and he stared at her wide-eyed.
"Ziva?" Tony asked in bewilderment as he stared at her. Suddenly Ziva knew exactly what to say.
"Yes Tony?" she started as she walked back towards him and cupped his cheek in her palm.
"Are you really here Ziva." Tony wondered as he reached up and cupped her face in his strong hands.
"Yes Tony I am finally home."
With that Tony pulled him to her and captured her lips in a desperate kiss. One of his hands wound itself in her wild hair while the other wrapped around her waist and pulled her as close to him as possible. Unlike the kiss at the airport Ziva did not want to be still; she wanted to show Tony she had missed him just as much as he missed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer to her. When they finally broke apart for air Tony did not let her go right away. He captured her lips again almost immediately and his tongue begged her to allow him access. She obliged happily and when Tony pulled away again she was still smiling. Breathless, she opened her brown eyes and stared up into Tony's green ones; their foreheads touching as they breathed in the moment together.
"You are home Ziva, and I am never letting you go again."
She smiled as she watched Tony trace her cheeks with his thumbs. "I know." She whispered back with a mischievous smile. "If you did I wouldn't get my birthday wish."
"Oh really?" He asked with a chuckle as he tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. "And what was that?"
"To spend the rest of my life with the man I love more than anything else in the world."
He grinned. "Well then I may just have the perfect gift for you."
"Really?" Ziva asked excitedly.
"Yes." Tony whispered. "I love you, and I'm never letting you go" he continued as he took a few steps back from her and turned to grab something off the top of the piano. Ziva watched him in confusion as he opened the box and took out a small pouch. She let out a gasp as she watched him slowly get down on one knee. "And since it is your birthday and all it seems fitting that I give you this to promise that I will spend forever making sure you get your birthday wish." With that Tony pulled out a beautiful gold ring that she recognized had been his mothers. "You only have to do one thing to get your wish Ziva, say yes."
"Yes!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into another passionate kiss.
"You really want to marry me?" he asked with disbelief as he slipped the ring on her finger.
"Of course!" she replied.
Tony pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here." He said with a smile. "What made you finally decide to come back?"
"Couldn't live without you, I guess." Ziva replied with a laugh as she watched Tony's face light up before he leaned in to kiss her again.
"Happy birthday Ziva."
AN 2: The song I used for this fic is called "Goodbye by Lover" and it's by James Blunt.
