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Back from another mission. Another mission with his new team. Somehow calling himself a Teen Titan just didn't feel right like it does when he's with the Young Justice. Come on, he was part of the freakin' Justice League! Who cared if it was a branch of the actual thing? It's not like anybody had to know the details. Besides, he'd become part of the actual thing soon enough. But that didn't matter. What did was the anniversary of the Day. Today was the Day. It was bittersweet, really. It was the day he became a full-fledged member of the Justice League and the day he had lost his friend. He felt a few tears slide down his cheeks fiercely, unwillingly. He had complete control of his feelings in front of the other people, but by himself there was nothing he could do about them. The last time he had openly cried was when, when...
A soft knock came from his door and Robin quickly wiped the tears away and cleared his throat before saying, "Come in." The door opened and reveled a half-machine African-American.
"Hey, sorry if I'm bothering you or anything, but I just wanted to know what was up. You seemed a little off on today's mission."
"It's nothing," he denied. "My mind was on something else when it should have been on the mission. I'm sorry I let you guys down; I promise it won't happen again."
"Rob, I could care less what your promise is because I know you're going to keep your word. What I just want to know is what made you loose your head out there."
"It's nothing," he said again, this time with a little more of an edge to his voice. "Is there anything else I can help you with? I'm kinda busy."
Cyborg looked at the young leader and raised an eyebrow. "Busy, huh? There's nothing in front of you except a metal desk."
"I said, go." This time, his voice was as cold as ice, authority laced into it. It was a trick he learned from Batman, his mentor and adopted father no one else knew about. Maybe he would tell his new team one day...
"Fine. I just want you to know that we're here for you, the team that is. We got your back, Robin, even when you think you can handle everything by yourself."
Cyborg turned to leave but stopped when Robin called out. "You want to know what's going on?" He nodded. "Today's the Day. Today was the Day. Today will be the Day."
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Three years ago I was inducted into the Justice League, the ultimate crime-fighting organization. My team was called Young Justice and we were," Robin hesitated to use the word aloud, "sidekicks to the superheroes. We became our own team and fought crimes our partners couldn't or wouldn't do. During our second mission, I decided to be team leader and lead the team to stop a drug exchange. It didn't go as smoothly as I planned." Not wanting to go into the details of the failed mission, he slicked his hair back and sighed before continuing on. "So we appointed Kaldur, Aqualad, to lead until I was ready."
"Hang on a second," Cyborg interrupted. "So Aqualad used to be your leader?"
Robin shook his head. "Kaldur was Aqualad before this Aqualad who's real name is Garth. More about that later."
"Okay, so then what happened?"
"A couple years passed and Young Justice was doing great. Every now and then we would screw up like any team, but we somehow always won. Last year, on this day, everything changed." Robin stopped to take a breath and contain his emotions before they slipped out. Do not let Cyborg see you cry. Crying is for whimps, people who can't handle what you do. You are better then any of them. That's why Batman took you under his wing and why you are now the leader of the Teen Titans. That is why you are still with the Justice League, why you are the leader of the Young Justice, why Bruce took you in, why you are still with Batman, why you will become Batman when Bruce moves on. "Our mission took us to Vietnam. We were supposed to stop some whack-job named Kinh Khủng. He was able to take a person's worst nightmare and turn it into reality, or so the victim thought. It was really a hallucination that would only go away if the person got over their fear. The Justice League sent us to Vietnam as soon as possible, flying in one of our teammate's ship. Kinh Khủng had been on a terrorizing streak that night with no signs of slowing down.
"We landed on top of some building in the middle of city and climbed out as soon as possible. The night was lit with neon flashing signs and almost looked like day because it was so bright. Megan, a Martian from Mars, and I looked over the edge and saw the street below littered with people fighting air and running away from nothing. The team and I jumped down to the city streets and heard a little girl's voice whimpering something in Vietnamese. We ran over and she said, 'Please, get them away from me! Please, help me!' Artemis, the archer, was half Vietnamese and spoke fluently. She translated for us and said the little girl was warning us of the scary men that were behind us and wanted us to save her from them. Turning around, we saw nothing and told her so. She insisted that they were there and continued to cower against the wall. Artemis promised her we would make them leave her alone and we ran off to see if somebody else was having the same experience as the little girl. As soon as we left the her, a scrawny man with ragged clothes and scratch marks all over his face ran up to us and shook Superboy's shoulders, rapidly saying, 'Run away! Run away! The aliens are going to kill us all!' Megan was dumbfounded, wondering why the man would say such a thing when her and her uncle were nice aliens. Wall, er, Kid Flash, explained that humans have this obsession with aliens taking over the human race and that nothing was directed at her or her uncle or meant to be taken seriously.
"After having several people come up to us, screaming at us to help them or to run away, we figured out that it was Kinh Khủng who was doing this and that everything was a mirage only the person could see. It felt real, it looked real, and it was enough to convince them that it was real. Aqualad suggested we split up into groups to find this creep faster. Superboy went with Megan, Kid Flash went with Artemis, and I went with Aqualad. Megan linked us all up telepathically and we each went our different ways. Megan and Superboy went to the skies, Kid and Artemis went one way, and Aqualad and I went the other. We figured if we split up, we'd find him faster. We found him fast, alright, it just didn't go so well."
Robin stopped as he closed his eyes to hold back the tears. Cyborg stood awkwardly, not sure if his leader would continue or not. He could tell that this was something hard for him to admit, whatever it was. Robin never told the team anything about himself or his past. He liked to keep things to himself, locked away his mind. Even Raven couldn't explore his mind, much less get into it. It was like he was trained to block his mind from anyone who might try and get his secrets, or even tell anyone anything about him. The only thing the team pretty much knew about Robin's life outside of the Teen Titans was that he belonged to another team. Nobody knew how many or who else fought with him.
"Aqualad and I soon found Kinh Khủng standing over an elderly woman whose back was against a brick wall. She was crying hysterically and begging him to leave her only daughter and grandson alone; they had done nothing wrong, but he wouldn't let up. Aqualad sent the rest of the members our coordinates and told them to hurry, that we had found Kinh. I ran over to the woman while Aqualad distracted him. I wanted to tell her it was just a dream and in order to wake up she needed to get over her fear, but I had no idea how. Luckily, Artemis heard my thoughts and quickly taught me how to. I said that her daughter and grandson were fine and were safely sound asleep in their beds. She thanked me and ran off to make sure I wasn't lying. At least she got away safely."
"Then what happened?" asked Cyborg, wrapped up in the story that Robin would probably never ever tell again. It was a little window into his history and Cyborg planned on getting as many details as he possibly could. Every little bit helped him and the rest of the team understand the secretive leader a little better.
"I leaped into the fight with Aqualad hoping to gain some time before the rest of the team got there so we could take him down once and for all. The entire time Aqualad and I talked to each other through our thoughts so the others could have somewhat of an idea of what was going on. I told him to stand by the building, that I was going to throw a gas capsule to blind Kinh for a little while and kick his butt in the meantime. It worked well until the smoke cleared and he could see again. He was pretty badly banged up, I will admit, but he kept going. The others still weren't there and Aqualad and I were starting to wonder where they could be. Kid Flash and Artemis said that they were stuck in a massive crowd so they couldn't run more than a few inches at a time. Superboy and Megan were flying as fast as they could but Superboy saw some robbers robbing a bank and decided he should stop them even though his friends were in trouble. At the time he was still learning how to weigh what mattered most and what didn't and getting over the idea that he could save everything and stop everyone because that's what he thought his mentor could do.
"Superman?" Cyborg guessed and Robin nodded his head. "But he can't save everything. Didn't he know that?"
Robin shook his head. "No. Superboy was a clone of Superman and was physically seventeen years old even though he was mentally six. He saw Superman as invincible like most of the world. But back to the story. Like I was saying earlier, it was just me and Aqualad until the others got to us. Kinh Khủng charged at us when the smoke cleared and we launched into the second half of the battle. I was throwing everything I had at him: batarangs, gas capsules, punches, kicks, flips, everything and anything. Aqualad was using Atlantian sorcery to turn water into weapons of his choice for defense. While we were fighting, Kinh Khủng was trying to find our weakness, our nightmare that would bring us to our knees and scream in fear. Luckily, I have been trained to not let people enter my mind or get to me, much to your guys' frustration of trying to figure out my secrets." Robin slightly smirked in amusement at Cyborg's look of horror. "Him, on the other hand, had not been, but he was always a calm, cool, collected leader so I wasn't really worried. I was wrong."
He looked away from Cyborg and the smirk on his face had quickly disappeared. He bit his lip so he wouldn't cry. He wasn't going to cry, he only cried when he was alone or when Bruce or Alfred were around and the world was just throwing every sucker punch he couldn't deflect. This was Cyborg, not Bruce or Alfred. If Cyborg saw his leader weak, it wouldn't help his team get any better; they'd always be worried about him and he already had enough people worrying about him, past and present.
"I was too busy worrying about Kinh Khủng getting away that I didn't even notice Aqualad had stopped fighting. He was looking behind him and I yelled, 'Hey, Aqualad, are you going to just stand there and wait for me to take him down? I need a little help!' But he didn't even hear me. He starting yelling and screaming 'No!' over and over again to nothing. It finally occurred to me that Kinh Khủng had struck him with his worst fear and that's when my blood froze. 'That was a bad move,' I hissed at Kinh Khủng and he just smiled creepily at me. That just pissed me off even more and with renewed energy, I starting punching the crap out of him. After a couple of hits, he fell to the ground in a pile and I leaned over him, breathing heavily. Guys, I need you now! Aqualad got hit by Kinh and he thinks his worst nightmare is coming true! I called to my team and prayed they would get there soon. They were still stuck dealing with their own problems but promised they would try and hurry as fast as they could. Since I knocked Kinh Khủng unconscious, it seemed like people's hallucinations were going away—all except Aqualad's. It seemed like Kinh Khủng had made his especially strong because whatever it was, it was making him cry, sobbing even, his body wracking. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling at the team to get away when we weren't even in front of him; I was the only one there with him. He was begging to The Light, our main enemies, to let us, his friends, go. It seemed like we were being electrocuted until we died. First, Miss Martian went, then Artemis, Kid Flash, Superboy, and finally me. The entire time I was trying to comfort him, telling him that it wasn't real, that it was all a nightmare and all he needed to do to wake up was not believe it was real, believe me that it wasn't happening and his team was fine. But he didn't, he couldn't. He thought that I was one of the members of The Light trying to trick him so he didn't buy it. I stood in front of him and tried telling him that it was me, Robin, his friend, that I was fine and so were the others. For a split second, he believed me, I could see it in his eyes, but it quickly vanished. He looked past me and was yelling at "me" to fight through the pain like I always told them to do.
"He screamed louder than he had ever done in the time that I'd knew him and that's when I knew that I had "died". He thought that he was the only one still alive in the Young Justice. Aqualad charged down the then empty street and started fighting the air. Suddenly, he jerked his arms back behind him and starting dragging himself to the side of a building. He squirmed and started choking as if someone had grabbed a hold of his throat and was cutting off his supply of air. His face turned as blue as his home and I was afraid he was going to go unconscious, but that would have been a welcoming sight instead of what actually happened.
"Aqualad collapsed onto the pavement of the sidewalk and laid there like a rag doll. I ran over and made sure he was okay. He was still breathing, but his pulse was weak. I knew that if he didn't stop soon and got over his fear, he would die. He quickly grabbed a hold of my arm once he gathered enough strength and tried to flip me over onto my back so he could attack me. Suddenly, he was jerked up, almost like he was a puppet and the puppet master was picking him up and forcing him to move and continue on with the show. He crossed his arms and put his hands on his heart, clutching it much like someone who was having a heart attack. Suddenly, electricity shot out of his hands and went through his heart."
A tear slipped out from behind his mask and rolled down his cheek. It was dark, luckily, so Cyborg wouldn't see it. For once, Dick was grateful of Bruce making him learn to love the dark. Not only was it good for fighting, but also hiding things that you don't want others to know. Even with his friend's mechanical eye, he wouldn't be able to pick up Dick's tear.
"There was nothing I could do, nothing. For the second time in my life I felt powerless and angry, so angry at the world. I stood and helplessly watched as my leader and friend killed himself without actually realizing that it was his doing that was ending his life. It only took a couple of good-sized shocks to kill him. He dropped onto the street and I ran over to check and see if he was still breathing or if he even had a pulse, though I knew it was pointless. He was gone."
More tears fell down and Dick knew he couldn't stop them even if he tried. He just hoped that Cyborg couldn't see or at least pretended not to. Very few people saw Dick cry and that was more than enough people that he wanted to see him cry.
"Robin, you don't have to continue," Cyborg said in an understanding voice. He felt sorry for the guy, experiencing death like that. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if he watched someone die and couldn't do anything about it. Yeah, the Teen Titans' job was dangerous, nobody could say it wasn't, but they hadn't seen anyone die. He didn't think anyone of them had. But with Robin's experience, it shouldn't have been a shock to Cyborg. He thought it was hard, loosing half of himself to technology. He felt like he was already half-dead. Now, he realized how lucky he was. He was still alive unlike the previous Aqualad, and he still fought crime, a recently acquired hobby that he ended up loving. "I can see you're upset." He stood up to leave but Robin made a gesture for him to sit down.
"I started this and I plan to finish it," he said in a pained tone. "It's been a while since I've talked to anybody about this. One of my teammates showed me that it was okay, even good, to talk about things that haunt you." Dick quickly wiped the tears away with the back of his hand and continued on. "The others came just seconds after Aqualad had died and I had checked his pulse. They saw his limp form on the ground with his eyes closed. Megan had terminated the link as soon as she saw him on the pavement to keep everyone's thoughts private. KF ran over and the others soon followed. They had asked what happened and why I wasn't doing anything to help him. I was the one who was the most experienced with medical help so of course they asked. I explained to them what had happened and what Kinh had done to him, what Aqualad dreamed of. The others were horrified and shocked to learn that loosing us was his worst nightmare and now our worst nightmare had come true. We lost one of us.
"Megan got the ship and we loaded onto it with his body. KF and I placed his body onto a rolling stretcher and covered it with a white sheet. You could see the outline of his body so perfectly, it was almost like it was fitted just for him. We left the med bay of the ship and went up front with the others. Megan was sitting in the captain's chair and Superboy and Artemis were taking their positions, getting ready for take-off. Kid Flash and I sat in our seats and we flew off back to our HQ. The entire way there, we were trying to think of something to say to the League, especially Aquaman. He was probably the only other thing that Aqualad was loyal to besides us. He loved Aquaman and would have died for him if need be, but he never got the chance.
"We landed and the League was already there. I should have known that they would have been, especially after such a dangerous mission. Our partners stood in front of the rest of the group, beaming at us for completing the mission and taking down such a dangerous guy on our own. Mine wasn't smiling, but I knew he was proud of me. He never has to say much. We practically share a brain which means he instantly knew something was wrong as soon as he saw me. Even with my poker face, he could always read me like an open manual.
"'Robin, what's wrong?' he asked me. 'Yeah, and where's Aqualad?' Aquaman asked. Young Justice all looked at each other as we tried to think of a way to explain exactly what had happened and how not to send Aquaman into a frenzy. I stepped up to the plate, knowing that I was the only one who wouldn't break in front of our mentors. Superboy didn't know how to cope with death of a loved one, Kid Flash would become a blubbering mess and would speak so quickly that it would sound like the buzzing of a mosquito, Megan was already crying, and Artemis just hung her head as tears silently hit the floor. They all tried to be strong, but, they just couldn't do it. My mentor taught me well when it comes to playing cool and not letting your emotions break through your brick wall until you are alone. 'The mission went well,' I said, starting off the mission report, hoping I wouldn't have to type it later but knowing I would have to anyways. 'Kinh Khủng was defeated and Vietnam is free of his nightmares. But while we saved thousands, we lost one of our own.' I kept standing straight and watched stone faced as Aquaman collapsed onto the floor, and the Justice League's mouths dropped open. The only one who didn't show emotion was my mentor, just like me. I could tell that he was feeling pain as much as I and he could tell that I was feeling pain as well, but we kept our composure. We would grieve when we were alone.
"The League ran over to Aquaman and tried to comfort him but their efforts were wasted. He just sat on the ground and cried and cried, yelling Aqualad's name, begging him to come back and cursing the life of a superhero. My mentor walked over and asked me to take him to the body and to leave the others alone. 'They don't grieve like we do,' he had told me once and that day, I finally understood.
"I led him to the ship and showed him Aqualad's body covered in the sheet. 'Where is Kinh Khủng?' he asked, looking around. 'He's unconscious in the street where Aqualad and I fought him. The police were arriving after we left Vietnam, I made sure.' 'Good,' was all he said. He rolled Aqualad's stretcher off the ship and into the base's med bay, leaving the white sheet on the cold boy. 'Come on, we should get back to the group,' he said and I followed. Ironically, that day was the day we all became Young Justice, too."
Dick took a deep breath and steadied his breathing so he wouldn't explode and his tears wouldn't come rolling down as fiercely as Niagara Falls. "I became the new leader of the Young Justice not only because I was suppose to be the leader, but because Aqualad promised me that he would step down when I was ready. I had been ready for a long time, I just didn't want to disrupt the whole feeling of the team. Everyone had gotten used to him as the leader and I felt like if I had suddenly stepped up to the plate, everything would be out of wack. I was waiting for my fifteenth birthday to tell him, but that didn't happen while he was alive.
"It took Aquaman a year before he could accept a new sidekick. Aqualad had been his first one and it was hard for him to loose someone that meant the world to him. For us, it was hard. He had been our leader from the start and, like I said earlier, to disrupt that flow would have been disastrous, which it ended up being. Luckily, we had about two weeks without any missions given to us from my mentor who was in charge of handing out Young Justice's missions. I think he did it because he knew we needed to recover from the blow and get used to a new leader."
"Which was you, like you said."
"Yeah."
"How well did you guys do in the beginning?" Cyborg asked, genuinely curious.
Robin shrugged. "Okay. Our first couple of missions back were fairly easy ones, again, probably because we were getting used to a new leader and the death of our friend. I didn't run off as much as I used to, nor did I assume people to know what to do and just do it without any questions. I explained to them what the plan was and then we just went for it. At that point, they were so used to me running off, they were happy that at least I told them what to do and not expect them to just know. We do fairly well as a team now, even with Aqualad gone."
"'Do?'" questioned Cyborg. "As in, you're still with them?"
Robin nodded. "Yep. That's where I am when I'm not with you guys, or I go with my mentor, sometimes even home."
"But what about your parents? Even I go visit my parents. Yours must be worried about you constantly. It seems like you are barely here with us. I have no idea when you would be able to home between us, Young Justice, and your mentor."
He bit his lip, thinking of how he could lie about his difficult situation without giving away anything that might led the Titans to figuring out his secret identity. Dick sighed in his head, Man, I've been around Batman for too long. "My mentor is my dad."
"Wait, your dad lets you fight crime? That's insane!"
"Yeah, it is," Robin said, thinking it over. Yeah, Bruce and Batman are both a little insane. Not as insane as the Joker, but still pretty insane. "But I love him anyways. It's a good thing he lets me, too."
"Why's that?"
"I like to think I'm pretty good at it." The two boys laughed.
"Listen, Robin," Cyborg said, "thanks for telling me this stuff. I know you're really big on keeping your identity and life a secret and it means a lot for you to tell me this."
He shrugged it off. "No problem. Like I said earlier, one of my teammates has said it's good to talk about the things that haunt you. It's been a while since I've told anyone about it and since Today's the Day, I guess I really needed to tell someone. It's been a couple of years."
"Yeah, I know." Cyborg stood up and made his way to the door. His leader made no sound as he got nearer and nearer to the door. Finally, as the door slid open, he said,
"Oh, and Cyborg?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't tell anyone what I told you in the last fifteen minutes, okay? It's not something I want floating around the team."
Cyborg nodded. "You got it, boss," and exited the room.
Robin waited until the doors shut all the way before walking over to his bed. He picked up the picture of the six original members of the Young Justice. In the front stood him and Wally making the thumbs up sign; Artemis and Megan were right behind them with their pretty smiles; Connor and Kaldur stood in the back, Kaldur smiling broadly and Connor with a small smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Kaldur. It was my fault. Just like it was my fault when my parents died. I should have made sure they double-checked their ropes and I should have sedated you like Batman sometimes does so you wouldn't have had the nightmare or killed yourself. It's my fault and I promise you, nothing like that will ever happen again to anyone on my team or to someone I love, I promise." Dick sat in his dark room of silence, giving his complete respect and attention to his fallen friend. Batman always told him that he should give respect to those who have fallen because they did something that you could never do. It remained true in every situation.
A familiar beeping sound came from his utility belt and Dick whipped his communicator out. A familiar and friendly sight to see on such a glum day showed up on the screen: Batman. Without even greeting his sidekick, he launched into a description of the latest crime in Gotham involving the Riddler. "Can you come?" Dick nodded. "Good. Get here as fast as you can."
"On it," Dick said and closed his communicator and stuck it back into his utility belt. He took one last look at the picture in his hand before placing it on his bedside table once again. Standing up, he made his way to one of his windows and opened it wide enough for him to easily slide through. After making sure his feet were in the proper foot holes, Robin let go of the inside of his room and closed the window. He scrambled down the side of the Teen Titans' headquarters like a monkey and leaped onto the ground as soon as it was a safe distance up. Landing without a sound and perfect balance on the pavement, Robin ran over to his R-cycle and started the engine. He put on his helmet, revved the engine, and was off to Gotham to meet up with Batman and stop the Riddler for one more time.
