A/N: Okay, so this fic actually starts in the past, and progresses through Rory's relationships. Rory hasn't met Logan yet, she hasn't gone to Yale yet. This will be her first year. Rory and Dean aren't broken up yet and this is happening a year prior to when it actually happened in the show. The song is Holy Water by Big 'N Rich. Slightly edited version.

Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I use to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine wherever she would go
But looking at her now you'd never tell

Their relationship was fresh and new. She was 16. He was her first boyfriend. She loved him, or so she thought.

Their relationship was beautiful. From the time he had kissed her in Doose's, she felt safe. From the time he became her first boyfriend, she knew he would be the safety-net of her life. She knew that she could turn to him when she needed help, when she was hurt. She knew he would always be there to pick up the pieces.

When it had started, every touch was felt, every kiss had meaning, every word had been listened to, and everything had meant something. But now, her life was falling apart, she knew it, and there was no way around it. Her safety net was wearing thinner and thinner. The ropes were starting to break.

She had longed for the bad boy of her life. That turned out to be Jess. Her safety net was wearing thin, so she jumped to someone new. She turned to Jess, with his witty intellect and bad boy attitude. She thought she could hold onto him, at least for a while. He was to keep her safe, and at the worst of times, he disappeared. They had loved for a short while, but when he left she went running back to her safety net. This time, news was unveiled.

When he told her he was engaged to Lindsay, she felt like she had been stabbed in the back, cut up, and hurt. The pain was more emotional than physical. She hadn't felt safe anymore, because she knew her safety-net was now shared by someone else and the other person had the stronger side of the net, while she was feeling the ropes snap beneath her.

Rory was with Dean, this for the third time. She had slept with him, her married ex-boyfriend. He had said Lindsay was out of the picture. He took off the ring. She knew it had been a bad idea but she just couldn't help it, he was safe. She was insecure and he was her safety net. He had always been there to take her back, always been there to pick up the pieces. She was different now. She was a changed person. She was still together with Dean, but she was starting to regret her decisions. She was so unsure, she didn't know if she regretted it or not. But she loved Dean. Rory was thinking all of this as she looked up at huge building. She was in front of the airport, getting ready to leave for Europe with her Grandmother.

"You ready to go Rory dear?"

"Yeah Grandma I'm coming."

Rory walked to her grandmother, Emily Gilmore and started to walk beside her. They were in a private airport. There were a few others from the Hartford Elite, taking off. Rory's Grandfather, Richard had actually bought a jet for the family.

"We're here Rory," Emily said.

Rory looked up at the huge plane. It was amazing. It was a Boeing 747 Jet. A flight attendant directed them on board. Rory let out a gasp when she saw the inside; it was even more beautiful than the outside. It was furnished with leathers and woods. Rory walked around and saw the marbles in the bathrooms, the bedrooms that were finely decorated. She was awestruck. She could definitely get used to living like this. They took their seats as the flight attendant instructed and began their take off. Rory quickly fell asleep.

Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what she's feeling
When she's praying
Kneeling at the edge of her bed

She dreamed of Dean and how she had made her choices. She loves him, she loves him not, she loves him. She had woken up 5 hours later in a cold sweat. She was worried and unsure, she felt afraid of everything. She had talked with her grandmother for the rest of the trip. Before they knew it they were landing in Italy.

Rory and Emily stepped out of the limo that had taken them to their hotel. This was their last day in Italy. Shortly after they had gathered their things, they were back in the limo heading for the airport. Rory got back on the plane, sat down and dozed off. She seemed to have a habit of doing that on planes. It also seemed that she had realized her choices on planes too; she woke up with a start. It was dark outside and they were just landing in Paris. They got off the private jet, walked to the waiting limo and were off to their hotel.

They had spent 2 weeks in Italy, 2 weeks in Paris. They were heading to Ireland now.

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She sat up, reading a book this time on the plane, but she couldn't concentrate. Her mind kept drifting to Dean; she couldn't keep her mind off her choices. They had landed in Ireland and were driving to a castle before she knew it.

Rory and Emily traveled all over Europe for the summer, staying different amounts of time in different places. It seemed to Rory that the summer had gone by too quickly. She was back in America. She walked into an empty house, her home in Stars Hollow. It was dark, and neither warm or inviting. Lorelai wasn't home like Rory thought she would be. Lorelai wasn't home to welcome her. Lorelai was still furious with Rory over Dean. Rory dropped her bags, grabbed the phone and walked into her room to call Dean.

"Hey Dean"

"Hey Ror, what's up?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted to tell you I'm home" Rory says.

"Oh, that's great"

"I'm leaving for college tomorrow Dean. Maybe you could come by?" she almost pleads. Even though she knows she regrets her decisions, she is doing the only thing she can, the only thing she has ever done, fall back on Dean, her safety net.

"Ummm. I'll try to be there. Well listen Rory, I gotta go"

"Okay, bye Dean," Rory says softly and hangs up.

She can feel that the emotions are leaking out of her heart. It was like trying to keep water cupped in your hands. But she is doing all she can: falling back on her safety net and she knows it. She lets the phone softly slide to the floor and she falls asleep. Lorelai comes in an hour later and sets Rory's alarm. She looks at her beautiful daughter. Lorelai doesn't understand how Rory could have made such a mistake.

The morning breaks through the blinds. Rory blinks her eyes as her alarm is just about to go off. She turns off the alarm before it can buzz. She smells coffee. She gets up from her bed and walks into the kitchen. Lorelai is sitting at the table reading the paper. Rory grabs a cup of coffee and sits down.

"Welcome home Rory. How was your trip?" Lorelai says without looking up.

"Thanks. It was good. Grandma scared a lot of the room attendants at the hotels away," Rory says quietly.

"I'll bet"

"Well I guess we have to move me into college today, right?"

"Right," Lorelai confirms, still without looking up.

The hours pass, the boxes are taped up, they are stored in the car, and the drive to Yale is long and quiet.

They move Rory into her dorm. Lorelai not speaking much to her daughter. The hours drag for Rory. Lorelai leaves Rory alone. Lorelai, with one parting stare, gets in her car to go home. Rory decides to walk around and to think.

She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces
The unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries

She walks back to her dorm. She found out earlier that her roommate is none other than Paris Gellar, her friend from Chilton. Rory walks into the suite, wearing a sad face. The dorm is empty, Paris is out. She travels to her room.

The call comes, not much later. Rory is in her dorm, lying on her bed, reading a book, trying to keep her mind off of how everything was falling apart in her world. Her world may be falling apart, but at least she has Dean. She loves Dean. The phone rings.

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She reaches for the phone and puts the book down. She grabs the phone and picks up it.

"Rory," the voice is sad and sounds foreign to her but she knows it is Dean.

"Yeah Dean?" she says tiredly.

"I..I.. I can't be with you anymore," he just says it.

She doesn't speak. Even though she knew she made the wrong decision, and she hurt his marriage, she still felt like she was being crushed, she was trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Goodbye Rory," he finishes and the line goes dead.

A tear falls on her cheek. She drops the phone, gets up and runs out of her dorm. She is doing what she does best, running. She is running, it is late, the tears are falling and blurring her vision.

She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healing hands
Of someone who understands

She can't see in front of her. She's running as fast as she can. It's 11 at night. She trips and starts to fall. Strong hands catch her. She wipes her eyes. The tears slow. She wipes her eyes again. She is still in his arms, she doesn't know who he is and he doesn't know who she is. All he can do is wonder. He felt bad for her just looking at her, he can tell she'd been hurt. She seemed like such an angel. He could tell she didn't deserve being hurt like that. She had come running at full speed and almost knocked him over, he caught his balance and luckily he just caught her as she started to fall. She looked up at him. He had blonde tousled hair, caramel eyes and kind, strong hands. He helped stand her up. His scent of dark chocolate and champagne was intoxicating.

"Hi, I'm Logan Huntzberger," he said, introducing himself, while holding a hand out to her.

"I'm Rory Gilmore," she replies weakly with a watery smile.

Maybe this would be a blessing after all.

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water