Disclaimer: I doubt I have the creativity to think up one incarnation of Tatiana Maslany, let alone twelve and counting.
She held Kira close to her as the elevator made its way down to the lobby. No one had looked their way as they had entered. Maybe the Bowles woman hadn't been lying.
Sarah wanted to ask her daughter if she was alright, if she had been hurt. Kira shouldn't even have been up and about; she'd only had the marrow taken out of her hip the day before. But she looked fine, perfect even all bundled up in the coat that woman had dressed her in. She needed to hear it from her, though, needed her baby to tell her she was okay, but if it turned out they had done anything to Kira Sarah wasn't sure if she could bear it. Not here, not yet.
It would be just like them to make this some kind of sick trick. Tell her Cal was waiting for them and then grab her. More dark rooms, more needles. Sarah shivered involuntarily and gripped Kira tighter. She should have listened to him, let him take her far away where she wouldn't have to be scared anymore and their daughter could be safe.
Kira twined her arms around Sarah's neck and pressed a sweet butterfly kiss to her cheek. "We're going to be okay now, Mommy," she whispered with such childlike certainty.
Sarah willed the tears behind her eyes not to leak out beyond her control.
The doors opened with a chime and Sarah felt her nerves flare, hyperaware. She couldn't see anyone, just plexiglass and stainless steel. But they were Dyad, and eyes were everywhere. Tentatively, she turned to the side and poked her head out, keeping Kira safely inside the car. There was no one, just an unnatural stillness. She stepped out all the way, slowly, carefully, ready to bolt. But still, nothing. Kira tangled her little fingers in her hair reassuringly.
She walked quickly, head turning every which way, trying to see everything at once. No one at the front desk, no one guarding the doors. Sarah briefly considered this was their version of a ceasefire, but she squashed the thought as quickly as it arose. Appearances were deceiving. Damned if she didn't know it.
She hurried around the corner with Kira and suddenly there he was, leaning against a pristine wall and looking completely out of place with his flannel shirt and flyaway hair. An array of emotions swept across his face in less than a second as he lunged forward, jacket flaring out behind him. She met him halfway, and then his arms were around her, around their daughter and he was turning to place himself squarely between them and the mouth of the lion's den.
"Daddy!" Kira cried happily and threw her arms around his neck.
Cal smiled back in anxious relief and jostled her to him with one arm, his right hand staying firmly pressed to the small of Sarah's back. "Hey Kira," he said like it was a prayer, and for just a brief moment Sarah wished he was holding her that tightly, too.
He looked down at her, the tenseness returning to his jaw. "We should go," he murmured, voice dropping. "The car's right outside."
He'd led her halfway to the door before Sarah even realized they were moving. "What did you do?" she whispered, looking back over her shoulder for assailants that weren't there.
"In the car," was all he said as the doors slid open before them and a blast of winter air assaulted Sarah's front.
They pulled apart as they sprinted across the street, though Cal's hand stayed wrapped protectively around her wrist. He strapped Kira securely into the backseat of Mrs. S's station wagon as Sarah threw herself into the passenger seat, and then they were moving, Cal somehow managing to take his coat off while pulling out into traffic.
"Here," he said, tossing it into her lap. "You're going to freeze in those scrubs."
Sarah realized he was right as soon as he said it and burrowed into the fabric, finally letting herself tremble. It smelled like him. She pushed herself up to look over the seat at her baby, her Kira, who smiled angelically up at her.
"You okay, Monkey?" she whispered, willing her voice not to shake in front of Kira. The little girl nodded her head up and down. Sarah swallowed. "Baby, this is very important. I need you to tell me what happened. Did they do anything to you? Dyad?"
She felt Cal hold his breath beside her and knew the same desperate anxiety was rippling through him as intensely as it was her. But thankfully, blessedly, Kira shook her head.
"A lady wiped my cheek with a Q-tip. But then I stole her phone and called Daddy."
Sarah glanced up at Cal as he smiled back at Kira through the rearview mirror. "You sure did. And you did really, really well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."
Sarah fished a hand out from under Cal's coat to reach back and hold her daughter's hand. "Me too, Kira. We're both so glad you're okay."
Kira beamed, and for a second Sarah was struck by how natural it was to speak for Cal, to allow herself to be fused into the entity of "Mommy and Daddy."
She held Kira's hand just a little bit tighter. "Did anything else happen? Anything at all?"
Kira thought for a moment and then said. "Rachel visited for a while. She wasn't any fun to play with. And she tried to make me think you're mean. Do I have to call her Auntie Rachel?"
Sarah did her best not to growl. "No, Kira. No you don't."
Kira nodded again. "Good. I don't really want to." Then the little girl brightened. "Then Auntie Cosima visited me. We did science."
The image of a No. 2 pencil whizzing through the air flashed across Sarah's mind. "So I heard."
Kira shuffled in her seat. "She didn't look very good. Is she going to get better soon?"
Sarah swallowed. So perceptive, her little girl was. So in tune with those around her. "I don't know, Monkey. We'll have to see."
"But what about the bone marrow transplant? Auntie Cosima'll feel better after that, won't she?"
For the umpteenth time that day, a wave of hatred for Rachel Duncan coursed through Sarah. "That's going to be more complicated than we thought, baby. But we're not going to give up, okay? We're going to keep trying to get Aunt Cosima well."
That seemed to placate Kira, for the moment at least, so Sarah allowed herself to glance out the window. Not recognizing the buildings, she sat back down in her seat and turned to Cal. "Where are we going?"
He made a sharp right turn. "I'm going to weave around for a while, make sure no one's following us. Then we'll double back to Siobhan's."
She shook her head. "No, go to my brother's, to Felix's. Kira's disappeared out from under Mrs. S too many times. It'll be easier to keep an eye on her there. I'll tell you the way."
He nodded and kept his eyes on the road. Sarah heard her heart hammer in her ears several times before his eye's shifted back to her. "Sarah," he whispered, too softly for Kira to hear over the hum of the heater, "are you okay?"
There was such concern in his voice and his eyes, and part of Sarah wanted to close her eyes and stay in that moment. She realized that even she didn't really want to know the answer to that question. So she ignored it.
"You know," she said instead, more statement than question.
He sighed and nodded, hands noticeably gripping the steering wheel that much tighter. "Yeah, I know. I know about you and your sisters, about Dyad, about all of it."
Sarah sat for a moment and tried to convince herself that didn't matter. "Who told you? Mrs. S? It couldn't have been Felix, he knows I'd thrash him."
Cal shook his head and looked back over at her. "No, no one told me. Give me some credit, Sarah, it wasn't that hard to figure out."
Sarah sat up a little straighter and stared at him. His gaze flickered between her and the road in front of him. "And?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound bolder than she felt.
He shrugged. "And what? It doesn't matter. Nothing's changed."
"Some things have."
"Nothing important." Cal turned fully toward her as he stopped at a red light. "Not for me, at least."
She stared up into his eyes, a sudden heat scorching up from her stomach. He leaned closer to her, ever so slightly. "You're still you," he whispered definitively. "Kira's still Kira, and that's all I care about. I just wish you would have told me yourself." His hand snuck under the coat to cup hers with such sincerity that Sarah thought her heart might whither under the earnestness of it.
"But I get why you didn't."
Sarah clutched back at his hand, desperate just for a moment as so many different thoughts and emotions welled up from deep inside her. But from the look in his eyes she recognized that he already knew everything she wanted to tell him but didn't know how.
"The light's green," Kira piped up from the back. Cal tore his eyes away from Sarah's to drive again, and she took that opportunity to steer the conversation back to safer waters.
"So, what did you do? How do you know this Bowles woman?"
"I found her inside Dyad. I hacked their server and she was there waiting for me. She offered her assistance."
Sarah shook her head. "Just like that? I'm not buying it, Cal, I know how these people work. They don't do anything without getting something in return."
His eyes flickered back to her. "That's where Mrs. S comes in. She and Paul took care of getting Marian what she wanted."
"Paul?" Sarah shot back incredulously. "Paul Dierden? Army Paul?"
Cal nodded, and Sarah felt his hand tense ever so vaguely under hers. "Yeah, that guy. Apparently he's been on your side the whole time."
Sarah didn't even know how to think about that right then. She rubbed her thumb over one of Cal's knuckles. "What did she want?"
He sighed and taped the steering wheel. "What do you know about Castor?"
Sarah's face scrunched. "Who?"
Cal shook his head. "I don't' know, but apparently your foster mother does. That's what Marian wanted."
She tossed her hair lightly over her shoulder. "Yeah, well, it seems that Mrs. S has been keeping her share of secrets. I suppose that's where she is now? Dealing with this Castor?"
He shifted their hands so that the fingers intertwined, and Sarah didn't know whether to feel appreciative or unsettled that he could read how bothered she was so easily.
"Look Sarah, I don't know what any of that is about, and frankly I had greater concerns at the time. Marian told me she'd tell you if you wanted to know. What you do with that is up to you."
He looked back Kira in the mirror again and then back at her mother. "She's dozed off back there."
Sarah nodded and looked out the window. The buildings were much more familiar now, and she realized they were only a few blocks from Billie's bar. She nodded out the window. "Turn left up here. We're almost home."
Kira was more awake when they finally parked in the alley behind Felix's loft, but she still wanted Cal to carry her. Sarah led the way, shuffling under Cal's much-to-big coat and for once grateful that Felix left his door unlocked. She put the screwdriver through the bolt behind them as Cal settled Kira on the couch.
"What should we do now?" he asked.
Sarah ran a hand through her long hair and sighed. "I need to call Cosima, figure out what's going on on her end. And Felix needs to know we're okay. I don't even want to try getting into it with Mrs. S right now." Her fingers shook slightly as she crossed her arms.
Cal moved around the couch to mirror her. "Sarah, when was the last time you slept?"
She shook her head, her mind suddenly fuzzy. "I —"
The inside of Cal's shirt pocket began to ring. He pulled his phone out and answered it, his eyes studying Sarah's face. "She's right here," he said and held the phone out. "It's for you."
She moved closer and took the phone, staying close to his sturdy frame. "Hello?"
"Sarah! Oh my god, where are you? Are you okay?"
Sarah let out a shaky breath. "Hey Cosima. We're fine. Cal got us, and we're at…um…we're at the place you stayed when you first got into town."
"Oh. Oh. Okay. What's going on? Did they do anything to you? Kira was alright last I saw her."
"Yeah, yeah she's fine. Not a scratch on her. Thank you, Cosima, so much. I don't know how exactly you managed it, but you probably saved my life."
"I'm so glad. Things have been crazy here. Scott and I are waiting to duck out. Where did you hit her?"
"The eye."
"Ew."
"Tell me about it."
"Yeah, well, just wait and see what I do to that bitch once I'm back at full capacity. Sister's gonna have no idea what hit her."
Sarah stiffened and lowered her eyes, tracing the pattern of Cal's flannel. "Cos, I've gotta tell you something."
"Yeah?"
"Rachel…she…destroyed your treatment. Right in front of me. There was nothing I could do, they'd strapped me to a bed. I'm so sorry, Cos."
There was silence on the other end of the line, not even breathing. Sarah waited, cursing her eyes for watering.
"It's okay," Cosima finally replied. "It's okay, Sarah. We'll figure something out. This isn't over yet. I'm just sorry Kira went through all of this for nothing."
Sarah shook her head. "Cosima, don't even worry about that."
"I'm coming over," she said abruptly. "As soon as I'm able to get away. And I'm calling Alison and telling her to come, too. She's going to freak when she finds out all this happened and no one called her."
Sarah thought back to watching her sister lay into her husband at Family Day and immediately saw that Cosima had a point. "You do that. I'll get ahold of Fee and let him know what's going on."
"Sounds good. Sarah?" Cosima's voice dropped slightly. "What, um, what was Rachel planning on doing to you? In the operating room? I tried to find out, but I…"
"No, Cos, it's okay." Sarah swallowed. "They, ah, they were going to do an oophorectomy."
Cal straightened before her and wrapped his hand around her shoulder. She didn't dare meet his eyes.
"Oh, Sarah."
"Don't worry, Cosima, I'm fine. Just get over here as soon as you can, yeah?"
"Okay Sarah. I'll see you soon."
"Bye Cos."
She ended the call and wordlessly handed the phone back to Cal. His hand wrapped around hers and didn't let go, forcing her to look up at him. He looked so concerned. Not accusatory, not disgusted, just concerned for her and her safety and what everything she had told her sister meant for her and their daughter. "Sarah?" he breathed, somewhere between a question and a prayer.
But she couldn't deal with this, deal with him just yet, so she shook her head and slipped the phone into his hand. "My sisters are coming," she croaked. "And I've got to call my brother, let him know that Kira and I are alright. And get out of these god-awful clothes."
"I can take care of that," he said reassuringly. "Go take a shower; I'll call your brother. He's got your phone. Go get yourself together."
She tried to shake her head again. "Kira—"
"Is asleep." He gave her that half smile that they both knew could halfway talk her into doing just about anything. "I've got this, Sarah. Let me help."
Sarah glanced over his shoulder, over the back of the couch to see her daughter curled up against one of Felix's pillows. Cal was right. She could breathe, for now. He'd take care of things, just like he had at the cabin. Just like he had with Kira all that time she was away. She met his gaze and brushed the fingers of one hand lightly down his chest before wordlessly turning toward the bathroom, stopping to grab a change of clothes out of the dresser on the way.
She stayed under the stream of water until it ran cold, trying not to think of her confused daughter or her dying sister or the sister she had left at Cold River. Or the man sitting outside waiting to offer her what no other man ever had or ever would. The chill revived her senses, waking her up from the haze she had been about to descend into before Cosima called.
She took her time dressing and drying her hair with one of Felix's towels before edging back into the main room, the curtain of beads clanging behind her. He was waiting for her on the couch like she knew he would be, phone in hand.
"Where's Kira?" she whispered.
He nodded toward Felix's bed. "Still sleeping."
Sarah padded over to the bed, and sure enough their daughter was sleeping soundly, her little fists clutching at the red sheets. Cal had changed her into her spare set of pajamas and tucked her in. Sarah briefly wondered how many nights now he had done just that because she hadn't been able to, and not for the first time she imagined what their lives could have been if she had gone back to him sooner, let him be a part of Kira's life from the very first day. She brushed her daughter's curls from her face and ran a finger down her cheek before turning back to Cal.
She could tell that his eyes hadn't left her as she checked on Kira, nor did they as she slunk across the room to curl into the corner of the couch beside him. He smiled softly and held up his phone.
"I called your brother. He says he's a bit tied up right now but that he loves you and he'll be here soon."
Sarah sighed and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "Good. That's good. We can have a clone slumber party or something. The girls'll probably like that."
His hand ghosted across the top of hers as he dipped his head until they both were level. "I tried Mrs. S, too, but she's not answering."
Sarah huffed and fought the urge to roll her eyes in a very Alison-like manner. "Yeah, well, that's dear old Siobhan for you. She'll show up when she's ready and never before."
He smirked. "Sounds an awful lot like someone I know."
She lowered her eyes as his hand brushed along her cheek. "Sarah." Her eyes raised, and he gave her a look of such helplessness that she wanted to reach out and comfort him. "An oophorectomy?"
Sarah nodded. "Yeah, but they didn't do anything. Cosima…she helped me escape, and then Marian opened the doors for Kira and me."
"But what…why? Of all the things to do to someone…."
"We, um," she closed her eyes for half a second and leaned slightly into his palm. "Something's wrong with us, Cal, and it has to do with reproduction. As far as we know, I'm the only one of us that can have a kid; the others just can't, and it has to do somehow with why Cosima is sick. Whatever it is causes these tumors and now…it's like they're eating her from the inside."
His hand moved down to cup her neck, his thumb brushing away a tear that wasn't there. "So what were they going to do with you, with your ovary?"
"Dissect it, I guess." She let out a shaky laugh. "And then in a couple weeks they were planning to…inseminate me, I guess you could say."
Her whole body shook now. Cal's arms were around her before she could even feel them, and his face was so close to hers. "They were going to use me like some goddamn clone broodmare."
His fingers trailed through her hair and the tip of his nose traced the length of hers. "But they're not. Sarah, there is no way in hell any of us are going to let them get their hands on you or Kira again. I know you don't need me to take care of you, but I'm going to do whatever I can to help you. You're not alone in this."
She knew he was being honest – Cal was nothing if not honest – but the sheer weight of his feelings for her was too much and exactly what she needed all that the same time. Some part of her knew what he was really trying to say, knew that no matter what happened from here on out he was going to be there every step of the way, whether she asked him to be or not. And that scared her just as much as it comforted her, and she really didn't have the energy to figure out yet exactly how that made her feel.
So she tilted her head up and kissed him, slow and achingly soft, because they had always been able to communicate with the very barest of touches. He understood and responded, wrapping his arms fully around her and settling her onto his lap. And she let him, let him rub circles into her back and press his lips into her hair, because just for half an hour she needed to have someone else carry the weight of their family. There had only ever been a handful of people in her life whom she trusted to hold her up, and the last few weeks had confirmed her long-held suspicion that Cal could be one of them. She just didn't know how to tell him in so many words.
A sharp rapping on the door eventually caused them both to jerk and turn in unison to make sure their little girl hadn't been disturbed. Kira slept on, so Sarah turned back to Cal. "That's probably Cosima."
He nodded and moved her back to her spot on the couch before rising and crossing to the door. Again, she was struck by how simple, how easy this was. Her baby was sleeping. She was curled up on the couch. Her sisters were coming to visit. Her child's father was answering the door. It was mundane and it was domestic and it was wonderful.
Cal slid the door open and, rather than Cosima, Alison came barreling into the loft, shoving him aside and making a beeline for Sarah.
"Why didn't anyone call me?"
"Jeez, Alison, keep it down. Kira's sleeping."
Alison stopped abruptly and scanned the room, her eyes settling on the lump in the bed that was her sleeping niece. They flicked back to Sarah, searching. "Well, is she okay? Are you?"
Sarah nodded, and then Alison launched herself on her and was hugging her tightly, maternally. She met Cal's eyes over her sister's shoulder and saw his eye widen. Sarah relaxed, slid her arms around Alison's waist, and let her sister hold her.
When Alison finally pulled back she hastily began whipping tears from her eyes. "What is going on, Sarah? Why didn't anyone call me? I thought Kira was still in the hospital with the bone marrow stuff."
"She was. Look, Alison, it's been a crazy day for everyone and I guess we were all just dealing with one thing at a time."
"No, no, I understand." Alison's hands framed her face. "I just feel so useless. I mean, Cosima said they were going to do surgery on you, Sarah."
Sarah patted Alison on the arm. "Yeah, they were, but you know what? It's okay now. And it was better you didn't get caught up in the middle of it. You needed to be with your family."
Something flashed across Alison's face that made Sarah suddenly suspicious, but she ignored it. Alison nodded her head. "I guess you're right. Where is Cosima? She said she was on her way when I talked to her. And that Felix is coming, too."
Cal decided to pipe up behind her. "I talked to him. He said he'll get here as soon as he can."
Alison whipped around so that she was standing beside Sarah, her arms crossed again. "Who are you?"
Cal looked between the two of them, taken aback, his eyes flicking from face to face. "Wow," was all he managed.
Sarah smirked. "Yeah, it takes some getting used to."
He shook his head. "No kidding." He turned toward Alison and said, "Hi, I'm Cal."
Alison narrowed her eyes as she looked him up and down. "Oh, lovely. Another one of your 'friends.' You, know Sarah, after everything I've been through in the last week with Victor—"
Sarah cut her off. "It isn't like that, Alison. Chill."
A soft taping on the door behind him caused a bemused Cal to turn and slide it open once more, this time revealing a very tired looking Cosima. She waved faintly.
Sarah felt her heart sink. She had known Cosima was much worse; she wouldn't have accepted her offer of Kira's bone marrow if she wasn't. But she hadn't been prepared to see her sister leaning so heavily against her oxygen tank, plastic tubes circling down and around her fragile body.
Alison's hand flew to her mouth, and Sarah heard her barely restrain a startled gasp, vocalizing what Sarah herself felt but didn't know how to say. Neither of them had realized it had come to this. "Oh, Cosima," Alison breathed and hurried forward to give her a hug near identical to the one she had just offered Sarah. Sarah turned to meet Cal's gaze again, registering the shock on his face, and regretted instantly that this was how he would first be introduced to her sisters.
Cosima looked over at her as she patted Alison on the back, eyeing her expectantly. Sarah moved forward as Alison stepped back and wrapped her arms gingerly around Cosima's thin frame. Cosima rested her chin on her shoulder and pressed a hand comfortingly against the crown of her head. "I'm so glad you're both okay."
Sarah squeezed her as hard as she dared and pulled back. "Yeah, but are you okay, Cos?"
Cosima waved her hands. "Don't worry about me, I'm managing. Actually, I would like to sit down now. Scott decided to double back a couple time just in case someone was following us, and I think the whole cloak and dagger of it all got to his head because he drove like an effing maniac."
Alison immediately moved around the other two women and took Cosima's free arm, guiding her to the couch. Cal stepped closer to Sarah as she bolted Felix's door once more. "I take it she's getting worse."
Sarah looked up at him and held his gaze for a beat before answering. "It's been progressing a lot faster than I think we were expecting it to."
He removed one hand from the pocket of his jean to skim his fingers down her left arm. "Are you going to get sick like this, too?"
She gripped his hand briefly. "I don't know. I know because of Kira that my biology is different than the others; I just don't know how much."
His eyes flashed in the dimming light of the loft, and not for the first time Sarah thought of how much she was asking of him. She knew how he felt about her, what he wanted from her; Cal had always been an open book. And today his involvement in the shitstorm that was her life had escalated drastically, with all the fears and baggage that came along with it. For once, though, she was glad she could reassure him that she wasn't the biggest problem they were facing. So she smiled up at him and stepped closer, telling him without so many words that she was okay, that she was going to be okay, and, like always, he understood. He reached over her head to turn on the lights, and they both turned back to her sisters.
Alison had settled Cosima on the couch and arranged her oxygen tank beside her, and the two now sat watching Sarah and Cal. Sarah sheepishly walked forward so that she was sitting on the edge of the table before them with Cal standing behind her. Cosima's eyes flickered up to Cal and then back to her sister, a perplexed look on her face.
"I take it this is the Cal you mentioned on the phone?"
"You know who he is?" Alison interjected. "Again, I'm the last to know. Why does no one tell me anything?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. "He's Cal. Cal Morrison. Cal, these are my sisters, Cosima Niehaus and Alison Hendrix."
"Nice to meet you both," he nodded at each as Cosima beamed and Alison eyed him up and down suspiciously.
"You too," Cosima said. "Are you, like, one of Mrs. S's people?"
"Actually, I'm one of Sarah's."
She could hear the smirk in his voice and bit the inside of her cheek. Cosima and Alison shifted their gazes to her and gave her looks that said as soon as they got her alone they would both tease her relentlessly. She might as well rip the bandage off now.
"He's Kira's dad."
Their eyes rounded into identical saucers. "Whoa," was all Cosima seemed to be able to say.
His hand came to rest lightly on Sarah's shoulder. "Yeah, it's a lot, I know."
Alison looked him up and down again more appraisingly. "Pardon me, but why are we just now meeting you? Sarah and Kira have been in a whole mess of trouble ever since she found us."
"That one's on me," Sarah answered begrudgingly. "I, ah, didn't exactly let Cal know about Kira until really recently. But he's alright, he knows everything now." She turned her head to look up at him over her shoulder. "He kept Kira for me while I was hunting down Dr. Duncan. He's really stepped up."
He gave her a small smile in return, seeming to recognize the gravity she had meant to put behind her praise. When she looked back, Cosima's lips were quirked into a smile. "Cool."
Alison's hand had risen to cup her cheek. "Well, I can in all honesty say you could have done worse, Sarah."
"Thanks, Alison."
"But I'm still so confused," she continued. "What exactly happened today? Cosima was only able to give me bits and pieces on the phone, and I have to say I'm getting more and more muddled up by the minute."
So Sarah, with some assistance from Cal and, to an extent, Cosima, walked the others through everything Rachel had pulled in the last twenty-four hours and her escape with Kira from Dyad. By the time she finished, Cal was gently grasping both of her shoulders from behind, wisps of his warm breath lightly curling against the back of her neck, Cosima had wrapped her arms around herself and huddled deeper into the couch, and Alison was drying her eyes with an embroidered handkerchief she had at some point produced from her pants pocket.
They sat in silence for some time, mulling over the chaos of the day. Then Cosima finally sat up straighter and looked between Sarah and Cal. "So, neither of you have any idea why this Marian Bowles let you walk out of Dyad?"
Sarah shook her head and looked back up at Cal. "She didn't tell me any specifics," he said. "Honestly, I just brought her in to negotiate. Whatever agreement she worked out was with Paul. But I do think she is invested in forming a relationship with you guys. She was waiting for me on Darknet, Sarah. It's like she was searching for some way to help you."
"That part makes sense, at least," Alison sniffled. "I mean, why would she help you get out if she was only going to bring you back in?"
"Yeah, there's definitely something shifty going on with this Topside company," Cosima agreed.
Sarah ran her palms up and down her thighs and looked between the two other women. "I guess I'm going to talk to her tomorrow."
Alison shook her head adamantly. "Sarah, if you don't feel comfortable—"
"No, Alison, I think I need to do this. We need answers, and she's obviously got them. This may be the only chance we have to bloody well figure out what all of this is really about."
Cosima smiled softly in acquiescence. "Thank you, Sarah," she said before descending into a coughing fit that caused her body to quake and Cal to check to make sure the noise hadn't woken Kira. Sarah reached forward to grip her hand, and Alison wiped the corners of her mouth with her handkerchief. When she finished, Alison moved to kneel between the two of them.
"Cosima," she whispered. "What does this mean for you? I know the bone marrow transplant is off the table for now, but surely there must be something else you can do? Can't you and Delphine come up with anything?"
Cosima looked down at her hands, rubbing one finger along her oxygen tube. "Delphine, um…Delphine is in Frankfurt. Or at least, she's on her way to Frankfurt. Rachel transferred her so that she wouldn't be able to help me help Sarah."
Alison shook her head. "But I thought you two said you took care of Rachel."
"She was alive last I saw her," Sarah growled. "Though I didn't exactly stick around to see whether she dug the pencil out."
"Dyad was crazy when I left," Cosima murmured. "Last I heard she was in surgery with Dr. Nealon. That's why Scott and I were able to leave without attracting any attention." She sighed and took Alison's hands in her free one. "Ethan gave me all the sequences for our DNA; all we have to do is get him to decode the right ones and then we can work on gene therapy. It'll take time," she said, give both Sarah and Alison's hands a shake, "but we'll figure it out and we'll figure out some way to keep me going until then."
Alison seemed placated by this as she stroked Cosima's dreadlocks, but Sarah had to bite back a sob as tears sprung to her eyes. "Cos," she whispered, trying her best not to show her sister how scared she was. "Dr. Duncan killed himself this afternoon while I was trapped at Dyad. That's what set Rachel off. I guess I forgot to tell you with everything else that happened."
Cosima stilled and her face blanched. She stared forward, but Sarah could tell she wasn't seeing anything. Alison wasn't able to contain her sob, and Sarah's head hung of its own accord. The feel of a warm palm resting against the spot where her shoulder blades met let her know that Cal had returned, offering his silent support, and never had she been as grateful for it as she was then. She finally looked up when Cosima let out a shaky breath.
"We'll figure something out," Cosima said determinedly. "Something. We've got the sequences; it may just take longer to decipher them without Ethan." She sighed heavily, some of her resolve visibly leaving her as she gently tugged her hand away from Sarah's to rub her brow.
"Honest to God, I'm so sick of this," she whispered. "I just…I just want a little time where I don't have to think about Dyad or being sick or any of this shit."
Alison was wiping her eyes again. "Felix said he was on his way, right? Maybe we can do girls night."
Sarah leaned back to look up at Cal. In all honesty, she didn't want him to leave, and since she was being honest, what she really wanted was for him to wrap his arms around her again and help her forget about everything for the rest of the night the way Cosima had suggested. But her sister was clearly suffering, and Alison had been out of the loop for so long she obviously needed some time with the rest of them. Sarah needed to give them that, needed to give them some of her strength, if only for that one evening.
He looked back down at her, and she knew that he was already willing to offer her whatever she requested of him. So when she asked, "Mind if I kick you out for the night?" she knew he wouldn't hold it against her. He gave her a small smile as he told her he didn't, and she knew he'd be back tomorrow. He'd stick around for her. For Kira. For their family.
