I noticed a lot of 100 ways to (insert topic here) and Things (insert character here) is not allowed to do s but I didn't see any quite like this, so I wrote one! Hope you like, and I'm sorry, but a bit of GerIta snuck in here like the slippery bastard that pairing is. Also, these are all my brain smoke, so please don't accuse me of stealing! *puts hands up*

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, the Stereotype Song, or Canadian Please. But I do half-own a computer :D

100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In World Meetings!

1. Switching America's coffee and Britain's tea only results in a black eye.

Prussia grinned as he set the cup down, full of coffee. In his other hand he carried a slightly more clear liquid, one that belonged where the new cup was currently placed. Quickly, he set the one in his hand where the former was earlier and wiped his hands on his pants. America should be getting back from McD*nald's in fifteen minutes, Britain should be back from the washroom in ten.

This should be entertaining.

2. Convincing Italy that yes, the cement is dry, isn't funny.

3. Once Germany gets there, that is.

4. Until then it's actually quite hilarious.

Italy squirmed in the sticky gray substance that his boots were currently stuck in. Fratello had said pasta was this way, and if the Northern half would please follow him down the stairs they should be there in no time. Romano had jumped over a particular slab but told his brother it was perfectly fine to walk on. Being the naive one he is, he stepped in it and watched as his brother sat on the sides and laughed.

Once Germany came though, Romano dashed faster than you could say "The British are coming!"

5. I am not allowed to give Britain a rocket launcher (or any potentially lethal weapon) then let him loose on France.

America ran away from Britain's front porch laughing. The new "tool" he left France should definitely even the score.

Nobody insults McD*nald's.

6. Taking Romano's tomatoes either ends in failure or a meeting with Spain's battle axe

All China wanted was a tomato, he was hungry and the meeting was far from over. And Romano had so many in front of him that he wouldn't miss one tomato, right?

But a deadly glare and the shine of sharp, polished metal from behind Romano's head stopped him in his tracks as he put the fruit down.

7. I am not allowed to call Sealand Britain and America's love child.

France was chased out of the conference room by an angered Brit who somehow got a rocket launcher and a speeding American who was giving Sealand a piggyback ride.

In a totally platonic not-father-son way.

8. Replacing America's hamburger buns with scones is not a good idea.

America spit out his burger onto the napkin and tried his best to wipe it off his tongue. "I'm gonna kill you England!"

9. Throwing a sheet over Canada may seem like a good idea because it gets him attention.

10. But America screaming "GHOST!" over and over isn't the attention he wants.

France noticed his former charge shivering, so naturally he went over to Canada to warm him up. Also, anyone seeing someone as beautiful as interacting with a nobody will automatically boost up their status.

But apparently, Canada wasn't cold and America really doesn't like sheets.

11. I'm not allowed to give Belarus a marriage form with Russia's signature forged on it.

"Brother, I picked out a dress. I even got you a tuxedo with the Belarusian flag as a pin on it. Aren't you excited?"

12. I'm not to convince France that it is casual Friday

France strolled in on Friday and looked around. Why was everyone wearing stuffy suits?

"Sealand, Latvia, cover your eyes!" Hungary put her hands over the two youngest nation's eyes and closed her own, trying to shuffle out of the room as soon as possible.

13. Monster makeup is a no-no around Japan

Japan screamed and ran from the conference room into the bathroom. How did such a scary creature know his name?

"I can't believe you fell for that!" America placed his hand on Japan's shoulder and wiped the blue makeup from his face. "What would something like that be doing in the conference room?"

Japan nodded weakly, his heart rate beginning to slow down.

America finished removing the makeup and walked out of the room throwing a final statement behind his shoulder, "Besides, things like that only live in your closet!"

14. Japan's drawings are to remain private

Romano stood shock-still in front of the open notebook. He hadn't meant to bump into it but he had and the book had landed open on the floor.

What did that sick bastard draw him and Spain doing?!

15. Hungary's camera is hers alone, deleting any pictures means death by frying pan.

Austria had been going through his former wife's camera when he found a picture of him playing the piano. After looking at it for a while, he noticed that his clothes were slightly rumpled and didn't portray him well.

When he was about to delete the picture, he pressed the next button on accident. So that day, a suspicious picture with Germany and Italy in it and another piano picture were deleted.

Austria was not heard from for a while.

16. I'm not allowed to steal Turkey's mask and sing Phantom of the Opera.

17. Or steal his mask at all.

Britain was shocked. Turkeys mask, just lying on the table. The olive green clad man was turned away, rubbing at his eyes with his hood up. What better opportunity?

"The Phantom of the Opera is there! Inside my mind!"

18. Greece's cats are not to be taken. Or questioned.

Turkey sat with a cat on his lap and stroked it slowly. One of Greece's, but it was always fun to mess with Herkales. Until, of course, he sneaks up behind you with a sharp-looking cross and a glint in his eye.

19. I'm not allowed to play Austria's piano horribly, that will only result in a bloody frying pan.

America smiled. He could play the piano; there was nothing a hero couldn't do! So he went up to the keyboard and begun smashing the keys randomly, the melody sounded pretty good to him. Sadly, the other nations couldn't seem to grasp the concept of such amazing, heroic music that all they could do was call it bad.

20. Germany does not have a weird kink so I should stop giving Italy maid outfits.

21. Or so he says…

Prussia laughed as Germany opened the package and gasped. Prussia himself had got the gift, and figured his little brother would love him for it. Anyone could hear what Germany mumbles in his sleep.

22. I'm not to tell Prussia that Hungary is more of a man than he will ever be.

Austria watched as Hungary beat up Prussia once again and went over. Rubbing a victory in Prussia's face was always a fun thing to do, even if it wasn't directly his win. But soon after delivering his hurtful statement, Austria was pulled to the ground by his ankle to immediately be sat on by Prussia.

23. I am not to sneak up behind Latvia and whisper "boo" into his ear.

24. Same with America

Prussia snuck up behind Latvia and crouched down, ready to deliver. He didn't know America, who was sitting next to the trembling country, would be so affected by a three letter word.

25. I am not allowed to steal Sealand's country, no matter how easy it is.

America sped off, "Pip-pip cheerio, and all that!" He sung in a horrible British accent as he went off into the sunset.

26. It's not a good idea to teach Liechtenstein the 'birds and the bees'

27. Unless I'm really good at dodging bullets.

France ran out of the house jumping every so often when a bullet would come close to him. "Don't come back or else I won't shoot to miss!" Switzerland shouted at the retreating form.

28. Gilbird is not a ping-pong ball.

29. Even when it's a heated game against Hungary with pan-paddles.

Spain and Hungary hit the 'ball' back and forth, hearing a satisfying clang once it hit their paddles. Spain was none-the-wiser to what they were really doing, just how Hungary liked it.

30. I'm not allowed to let South Korea loose on France.

31. France will take the groping the wrong way and things will spiral downhill from there.

"Oh, so that's how you like it. Come here, sit on France's lap." Said country patted his lap and smiled, making eye contact with South Korea.

"Umm… I need to go invent something!" With that, Korea dashed out of the room.

32. Britain does not appreciate Fanfiction, it only makes him angry.

"I-I don't like him t-that way!" Britain screamed and ran, leaving the offending site up on the screen.

33. Hungary and Japan, however…

Hungary and Japan giggled at the stories, scrolling through the many archives. "Japan, what did you call that show you made after us nations?" Hungary asked, looking for the name.

34. Replacing all of Poland's pants with skirts isn't as problematic as planned.

"Liet, did you get me this skirt? It's like, totally fabulous!" Poland twirled and admired himself in the mirror."

35. Same stunt with Germany is hilarious though.

"Wh-what the? Prussia!" Germany screamed and ran into the hall in only his pajama's

36. I'm not allowed to deny how awesome Prussia is.

Austria denied everything. Why would Prussia be awesome if his nation was dispersed at least 70 years ago? He couldn't understand how all that cockiness could stay with him even though he was done so long ago.

Prussia, of course, showed Austria's piano how awesome he was.

37. I am not allowed to lock Britain and America in a closet and bet on who comes out alive.

Britain pounded on the door. "This isn't funny! Let me out!" He screamed, punctuating each word with a thump.

"C'mon Britain, we can play UNO or something!" America said, just as loud, just with a more enthusiastic tone.

"Get me the hell out of here!"

38. I am not allowed to ask Sweden for discounts on IKEA items.

"C'mon Swede, I need a new couch!" Spain clasped his hands together and pouted, making puppy eyes. "I'll give you nice tomatoes!", he sing-songed, pulling a tomato out of seemingly nowhere and waving it in front of Sweden's face. This method always worked on Romano, so why not Sweden?

"I don't like tomatoes." Sweden said in monotone, before turning and walking away.

39. I will not dub scones proper and useful weaponry in front of Britain.

America took quick shallow breaths as he stared across the room. Britain was doing the same, taking a break from their little war. But slowly, Britain straightened out and charged, holding a scone above his head.

"This is for Britannica!" He yelled and threw the scone at America. The wayward food hit him in the stomach, and he immediately bent over, clutching his stomach.

"Dude, that's like being hit with a rock!"

40. I am not to give America a cape; he is prone to jumping off buildings.

41. And no, that is not funny.

"America-san, please come down from there! It's not safe!" Japan insisted, offering his hand to where America was standing on the railing of the balcony.

"No way dude, America backs out of nothing!" With that third person statement, America had jumped off a balcony to a ground ten feet below.

42. Germany never has and never will throw a German Sparkle Party, no matter how many times I ask him to.

Germany sighed, or rather, West sighed, as he had been spending more time with his brother. Who for some unbeknownst reason wanted to throw a Sparkle Party. Not a normal party, and apparently it's a "hardcore sparkle party", obviously not for six year olds. But the party isn't happening in Ludwig's house, it's happening wherever on the streets Prussia happens to be.

43. I'm not allowed to ask Canada how to become Canadian.

44. He has a song about it and will begin to sing.

"Yeah, I know that you wanna be Canadian please, even if in the winter things tend to freeze. We got the world monopoly on trees an-" Canada sang, only to be cut off by an impatient American.

"Dude, I just wanted to know where you kept your maple syrup."

45. Painting Switzerland's guns neon colors is a no-no

Dutifully, Switzerland scrubbed his gun. The bright pink was coming off now, but there had to have been at least three coats earlier to have such a neon color that wasn't see-through.

But really, whoever did this was going to be the first one to hurt.

46. I'm also not allowed to question his neutrality

France strode up to Switzerland and but a hand on his shoulder, almost like an old friend. Switzerland tensed up, before twisting his head around. Before he could get a word in edgewise, France began talking. "How are you neutral if you always have a gun?"

"Because it works. Now go away." Switzerland said, restraining the ever-present urge to punch something.

47. America inviting another country to Florida is innocent, no matter what I think the innuendo is.

"Hey Britain, wanna go to Florida? It's beautiful this time of year!" America asked, spreading his arms as if expecting a hug. "N-no!" Britain stuttered then ran off, probably to cleanse himself.

"How about you Japan?" America turned around, but was disappointed to find that Japan had disappeared.

"France?" America said hopefully. "Yes, mon ami. That sounds good!"

48. I am not allowed to moo while America is eating his burgers.

"Moo." America stopped his chomping and looked around, eyes finally settling on France.

"What the heck man?"America asked, beginning to take another bite.

"Well, now you know how the cows sound." France said, crossing his arms.

49. France's car is a car, not a rape van.

"Is that Uncle France's car?" Sealand said excitedly, bouncing up and down. "Jerk Britain, can I go get in France's car?"

"No! Bad things happen in that car. Never ever get in a car with France!" Britain slung his arm around Sealand a pulled him away from the approaching car.

50. Finland's dog cannot drive a flying sleigh, even if we train really hard.

Prussia got on all fours beside the hyper dog. "C'mon buddy. If you just jump and do some of that magic stuff, we can hook you up to the sleigh and start Christmas early!"

Review please:)

*This is the 8-22-12 update, Hito Me Bore saved my story from being deleted by telling me lists were against the rules. So this turned into a twoshot, with little blurbs. Sorry if the little blurbs are no good, I can't even say I tried my best... At least the mods won't eat me! Sorry about any confusion!*