A/N: So anyone else ever play ME2 and think that those things Harbinger says to Shepard are vaguely sexual? Well I'd been thinking that for a long while, so it became a joke amongst my friends and I that Harbinger kind of always had a thing for Shepard and this little One Shot explores that possibility. It's just for fun, nothing serious, so hopefully people will read and have a nice little laugh because that's what it's intended for! Have fun! :)


Harbinger of Love

The doors to Shepard's quarters whooshed open ushering in Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian. Both looked fatigued and appeared mildly irritated. As Shepard walked through the threshold of her quarters she tossed a towel she'd had wrapped around her shoulders down onto her desk. As Garrus approached the desk he picked up the towel and gently placed it in the discretely placed hamper under the desk.

"Shepard it's not that bad, besides you were tired. No one could've really known that you were worn out because of me…and our…uh…activities…it was a big night," Garrus purred toward Shepard's backsides as she continued heading toward her bed. At Garrus's words she stopped her forward momentum and turned around to face him.

"It was a big night last night? You call me getting ridden like a horse by you for half the night a big night?" Shepard asked incredulously. "I call it creating an unfair advantage for today's sparring match."

Shepard watched as Garrus lowered his eyes away from her and the subtle way his mandibles fluttered with restrained laughter. Apparently the thought of 'riding' Shepard 'like a horse' was amusing to him. After a few moments, Garrus seemed to regain his composure and was able to meet Shepard's gaze again.

"Well I don't know if I'd go that far…a horse Shepard, really?" Garrus paused to give Shepard a hammed up expression of innocence before continuing. "To be fair you did tell me not to hold back last night. You said you'd been dealing with a lot of stress and that you were ready to just let loose. Besides you seemed to enjoy it at the time." There was the telltale sign of his mandibles fluttering with amusement again.

While she still felt annoyed that Garrus had won the sparring match they'd had today, she was finding his responses to her question entertaining. Shepard turned to face him, placing her hands on her hips, the corner of her mouth twitching into a smirk.

"That's awfully bold Vakarian. You got any evidence to back up that claim?" Shepard asked teasingly.

"What? You mean about the part where you told me not hold back or about the part where I said you enjoyed it?" Garrus shot back playfully.

Without missing a beat Shepard replied, "That part, where you claim I enjoyed it."

Taking a few steps closer to her, Garrus purred, "Well it could've been the abundance of 'oohhs' and 'aaahhhs' or maybe it was when you kept saying 'that's the it; if you stop now I'll snap your neck'; or better yet, maybe it was when you shouted my name so loud that EDI piped up asking if you were under any distress?"

Shepard flushed a subtle shade of pink before recovering herself and replying, "Well maybe I was just humoring you…I mean I did wipe the floor with your face yesterday when we sparred."

Garrus closed the distance between them and gently took hold of Shepard's waist; she didn't resist the advancement. "You forget Commander, I can hear your heart beating…I'd of known if you were bullshitting me."

"Is that so?" Shepard murmured as she drew closer to Garrus's face and eager mouth.

Just as the two were about to kiss, Shepard's Omni tool began to beep indicating it had recently received a message. Both Garrus and Shepard halted, barely an inch apart from each other, and stared at her now lit up Omni tool.

"I thought you turned that off?" Garrus asked as he watched the Omni tool flash in sync with its beeping.

"I did…I guess someone must have tried to contact me and actually left me a message. Normally whoever is trying to contact me just calls back instead of leaving a message," Shepard mused more to herself than Garrus.

Garrus sighed and said, "Well I guess you might as well check it; probably someone like Admiral Hackett anyway. Those people never seem to leave you alone for more than five minutes."

Shepard looked up from her Omni tool and back to Garrus. "This doesn't mean I've forgotten about our argument or that you kind of cheated your way into winning today."

"Don't worry; I remember where we were going with the conversation and I have every intention of picking it back up where we left off," Garrus replied smugly.

Grinning, Shepard began typing in commands into her Omni tool. She fully expected there to be some short audio and visual message left from Hackett or perhaps Liara, so she was surprised when she saw that the message was only audio and from and unknown sender.

"That's odd…it's from an unknown sender," Shepard murmured and hit the play button. There was a long pause of nothing before both Garrus and Shepard heard the familiar, unmistakable, deep voice of Harbinger echoing from Shepard's Omni tool.

"Shepard this is the harbinger of your doom; the bringer of your future. You cannot escape my grasp. Under me, you will know true power. Your resistance is pitiful; I know you feel this; you feel the power I emanate. Instead of fighting me you should join with me and we can be as one! Shepard you cannot resist…" Harbinger's voice trailed off into silence.

Both Garrus and Shepard looked at each other in concern. Why was Harbinger contacting her directly? Did he just feel the need to harass her via a direct line to her Omni tool now? There was still silence coming in from Shepard's Omni tool making both Garrus and Shepard hope that Harbinger was done delivering his hateful little message. However, any hopes they'd had of Harbinger being done were quickly dashed when his voice broke the silence again.

"Shepard…I am the harbinger of your destiny…and I actually just wanted to talk; to clear some things up."

Shepard looked up from her Omni tool and to Garrus who stood staring back at her. Harbinger had called her to clear up some things? That was unexpected and extremely out of character.

"So I know I'm always telling you you're pitiful and weak and that my power, well I guess it's the Reapers as a whole, so our power is unmatched; but really that's all a lot of hot air, well most of it. Truth is I'm really insecure when we fight. You are like a dancer on the battlefield and it's like you're speaking to me; like you composed a dance just for me. So when I say, I know you feel this, I really do! Because why else would you fight so beautifully if it weren't just a show for me? Maybe that's a little conceded…I try not to be but it's kind of hard when you're the pinnacle of evolution. Anyway, like I was saying you make me a little bit nervous…not in bad way but in a good way! You inspire me to enslave more races and nobody's ever had that effect on me before.

"I hope I'm not coming off as forward Shepard but I really wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I don't want to get my hopes up for a potentially serious relationship if we're not on the same page. So…maybe this is a little forward but what are you feelings for me? Oh wait, ignore; sorry that was forward and I don't want to scare you off and I know you've got something going on with that turian Garup or Garret or whatever his name is. But maybe I might be better suited for you…and I think if we really try we could maybe make this work. Yeah we have some differences, like you're half my size and I want to kill and enslave your entire species not to mention the entire galaxy, but if we look past that I think there's real potential. And I know you feel it to; I do, I really really do.

"I guess really…basically I'm saying relinquish your form to us or me; you won't be dissatisfied…mentally of sexually, hehe. Just take it from me you'll be way happier with me than with that vermin turian Garrant. Sorry if this is a little forward but I just had to get it off my chest. I'd really appreciate an answer sooner than later because I just poured my heart out to you. Plus it'll really sway my opinion one way or another as to whether or not I should kill and enslave you. But I'm rambling I know, I'm sorry I get that way when I'm nervous, so yeah I guess goodbye for now. Please message me back? Or call me back…hope to hear from you soon."

Finally the message quieted and ended. Both Shepard and Garrus just stood in silence saying nothing to each other and simply staring at Shepard's Omni tool. Garrus was the first to attempt to speak; his mandibles flared as if he had the words ready to use but nothing came out; words had evaded him.

After what seemed like an hour of standing in silence Shepard finally found her voice. "Maybe it was a joke…"

"Yeah…a sick, twisted joke," Garrus agreed.

"There's no way Harbinger could ever be infatuated with me. It makes no sense!" Shepard exclaimed.

"Yeah…it's probably some backwards new scare tactic that the Reapers are using," Garrus said nodding his head.

"Let's just forget that bogus message and—" Shepard was cut off by the sudden beeping and flashing of her Omni tool indicating that there was an incoming message.

"It can't be…" Garrus whispered staring at the flashing Omni tool.

"Maybe I shouldn't answer it," Shepard murmured her eyes wide as she gazed down at her squawking Omni tool.

"Maybe it's Hackett? It's probably Hackett," Garrus added quickly.

"Not gonna answer it," Shepard stated shaking her head.

"I think that's a good idea. Let's shut it off," Garrus agreed and reached over to deactivate the Omni tool. Just as Garrus went to deactivate it Shepard also had moved in to shut it off and her hand slipped and answered the call.

"Oh shit," Shepard muttered as she heard the call pick up and a voice begin to speak.

"Hey…" Harbinger's voice boomed over the Omni tool.

Both Shepard and Garrus looked at each other with embarrassed horror. Just as they heard Harbinger take a breath to begin speaking, they both punched in the commands that would deactivate Shepard's Omni tool.

"So I was jus—" Harbinger's voice was cut off as the Omni tool faded and became inactive. Shepard and Garrus stared at the floor awkwardly.

Finally Garrus said, "So I think we should utilize some of those Shadow Broker skills Liara has and get you a new Omni tool that runs on a different frequency."

Nodding and already heading for the door, Shepard replied, "I couldn't agree more."

The End.