Disclaimer:

Again, we approach the point of no return… no second choices. What I say now I cannae take back. … I am not owner of the properties of Teen Titans. Though I'd like Jinx if anyone can mail her cute lil' self to me, I would be a happy man.

And now, decide, dare you delve deeper into my mind after something like Obsessions? … well, if you like Beast Boy you may like this.

Sheer Heart Attack

Part 1: Stone Cold Crazy

It arrived in the mail one day. No one knew exactly why it came, but it was new, beautifully packaged, and promised so much that the team had tested it the second they got it. The package was Quest for Eternity. It was a simple Massive Multiplayer Online RPG (A waste of a good alphabet, I know), but it claimed to have the most involving gameplay in any available on the market. The Teen Titans, the premier fighting squad composed of hookey playing teenagers, soon found that this was all marketing bravado and had no truth to the tale. However, if they had all just put it down things would have been so much easier, so why didn't he? Why was he compelled to play this game where others weren't. For a second, take a deep breath and imagine a different country. Close your eyes and see.

In the place where horses were born with eagle's wings and honey bees have lost their stings, where dragons fly like sparrows through the sky, the bravest hero in the land was known as Rat. He hated the name, and demanded no one call him that. He made an outrageous excuse - that his friend had renamed his character while he was away getting something to eat.

Great King Rat was a barbarian. His class was Paladin, however, so he apparently got a lot of respect from the church, and that baffled many people. He spoke in archaic sentences in a language time forgot (Or was trying to) and he made crooked bargains with crooked individuals. He came to a village that seemed to be in dire peril and spoke unto the hobbit at the town borders, "j0 f00."

The hobbit sighed and related the tale of the dark knight that had destroyed this city. They thought that perhaps the brave paladin with his mighty broadsword "Nuthacker" would be able to defeat the dread knight and save the kingdom. Secretly he was thinking that they were all doomed. The brave knight said unto the dull and uninteresting hobbit, "R0xx0rz" and ran off to slay the dark knight.

No other Titan played the game Quest for Eternity, no one but Beast Boy. There were about twenty other identified players to Rat's mighty domain, and their log in times indicated that they either were bat-human hybrids, or Israeli. They spoke funny, but that wasn't any consolation when you consider that Beast Boy's idea of compassionate online discussion was saying something akin to: 'oic'. (25th century scientists are still attempting to figure it out. They've figured it was akin to the Japanese Kanji characters, and gave its meaning as "I feel your pain").

Reality beckoned him, "Yo! You eating, Beast Boy, or not?"

"Too l33t to quit," he said in a linguistic feat. He left his character standing there and hurried out of his room, looking akin to a zombie as he lumbered into the light of day. Cyborg was waiting outside his door, looking irately at the youngest member of the team, "What's on for food?"

"You know how Raven's locked herself in her room and Robin and Starfire are on a date?"

"Probably,"

"Well, because I'm the only one here to cook," Cyborg said, eye closed, "So I made us chicken noodle soup. Got the meat cut up and everything,"

"Aww, dude, you didn't," Beast Boy said, "You know how I feel about meat,"

Cyborg looked at Beast Boy and cracked a smile, "Just pulling your leg. Let's go out and get some chow. Raven can fend for herself,"

"Yes! Just…let me log off my account before we go," Beast Boy hurried back into his room, leaving Cyborg to wait. The tin man whistled to himself as the boy, who had just gone in to log off did not emerge after five minutes. He waited. Another five minutes passed and the scream finally came into range of his censors. "My dude! … He's… been PK'ed!"

Cyborg felt that it served him right. "Aww, poor little guy. Let's go." Cyborg attempted to pry Beast Boy from the screen, but the little green kid refused to let go. "Let go little guy, before I get medieval on your ass,"

"Let me just see who did this. 'Titania'? I've never heard of a player named Titania on the Quest servers. Must be a newbie, jerk," he typed away at the console, "Aha! Here he is. Titania, Age 14, Level 55! You can't get beyond level 50! Dude, this guy's a hacker,"

"Um,  dude, Titania's a girl name,"

"Yeah, and so is Dominatrix69, but that was a dude," Beast Boy countered. "Hey! Here's his e-mail. Let me just send a threatening letter and then we'll go, I promise,"

"You'd better," Cyborg said, "I'm getting hungry,"

"Why don't you just recharge your cells or something, this won't take two seconds," he hurriedly typed in a message. Cyborg averted his eyes to avoid the bad grammar and spelling. "Okay, sent. Let's go!"

The computer chimed. There was a response all ready, "Dammit, will this never end?" Cyborg cried, just leave it alone for now. Beast Boy peered at it, and his jaw dropped,

"Dude, I think he's a chick," he said. He began typing, and was immersed in conversation. Cyborg barely managed to drag Beast Boy from the console with both hands and a heavy anchor.

*****************************

They ate at a small Tex-Mex fast food joint of dubious authenticity at the local mall food court. Beast Boy was very poor company, Cyborg thought. Then again, there was a reason why no one played Quest for Eternity, and it wasn't just the surprisingly accurate name. Beast Boy had a reputation among his friends as a PK'er. He delighted in having superior equipment through unwittingly illegal trades and equipment. No one enjoyed playing with Beast Boy, so they didn't play with him at all. The game was addictive, they had only bought it about a month ago, but Beast Boy had continued playing almost nonstop for that entire period of time. It wasn't healthy and they tried to drag him away from it, but he just kept getting dragged back in.

"Cheer up," Cyborg said roughly, without a sense of niceness in his voice, "It's not like it's uncommon an occurrence,"

"But dude, it don't happen to me," Beast Boy countered, "I don't get PK'ed because I'm the best there is." Cyborg wanted to knock his block off right there, "I've perfected the game, I am the game, the game's all I've got,"

"Damn, little man, you're like three steps from walking around in one of those mage dresses and pretending you can cast those damn magic spells," Cyborg had taken a mage class when he started and had an immediate dislike for them. He later took to being a barber. He never actually explained why. Beast Boy looked at Cyborg,

"I've seen crazy stuff, but I ain't ever seen anyone dress up in crazy mage robes before," Beast Boy said. There was a tapping on his shoulder, "Look, I'm busy right now,"

"Um, Beast Boy?" Cyborg said, "Remember that freak I described to you?"

Beast Boy took a sip of his soda, "Yeah?" there was another tap on his shoulder, "I'm busy, weren't you listening?"

"He's right behind you," Cyborg said, burying his head in his hands. He did not want to know Beast Boy right now. Beast Boy slowly turned around to look at the guy who was tapping his shoulder. He saw a thin, pasty teenager badly in need of some acne cream wearing the robes of a mage, or what could have been such if it hadn't been a bathrobe two sizes too large and covered in badly stitched sequins,

"Dude, what the Hell?"

"Great King Rat of Rhye, I challenge you to honorable combat," he said in a weak, droning tone. Beast Boy took a sip of his drink,

"Um, no?"

"I am sorry, you have no other choice in the matter." No one expected the boy to attack, least of all Cyborg and Beast Boy, but when he began to chant they became more than a little weirded out,

"What the…?" they echoed one another,

"This is just so stupid," Cyborg said, burying his head in shame, "I don't know you or any of your lame friends,"

"I don't know this guy either," Beast Boy said, "What do you say we just find out who he is and call his mom to pick him up?"

"Sounds like a plan," Cyborg said. They looked at the chanting boy and went over to him, slowly and non-threateningly. The boy's eyes opened wide and a wave of energy pushed the boys backwards. They landed upon the stone cold floor, and Beast Boy barely managed to get to his feet. That kid had released an electrical charge that should be enough, he looked, had been enough to fry Cyborg's circuits.

"Okay, now it's personal," he said. He rose to his feet and charged at the mage, turning into a rhino as he moved along. The mage vanished to the side, and released another charge field. Beast Boy was sent shockingly to the floor. The mage appeared in front of Beast Boy, who was currently in the shape of a small bird, flittering back into balance. He transformed into an elephant and grabbed the mage with his trunk. The mage did not dodge, merely charged power in his hand for another shock.

"Lit 3!" the nerd declared, with a slightly nasal intonation. He hit the trunk with his fist and the charged up energy transferred up and down Beast Boy's body, reverting him back to the form of a young boy, barely conscious. The mage cackled with nerdy delight and kicked Beast Boy, "Is this the brave Great King Rat who I have heard so much about back at the Academy of Heroes? I, the great mage Robin Goodfellow, cannot believe this!"

"Is that what you're calling yourself?" said Great King Rat, rising from the ground in the most brilliantly expensive armor in all the lands, "I shall defeat you, whoremonger,"

"What did you just call me?" came the arrogant call of the masterful sorcerer, "Truly, you would know a whore. Your tone is so vile that they say your mother was one,"

"No one calls my mother a whore and lives, f00. Die!" the warrior hefted a sword from his side and lifted it with both hands and brought it over the head of the mage. The may pushed him back and the sword flew from his hand and landed over one of the assorted bushes. Rat looked at his enemy and brought a gloved hand up into a fist, "It's gonna be mano-a-mano is it? Let's go." The great warrior brought his fists over to strike the mage, one blow landed cleanly on the mage's chin and the other brought the air out of his lungs. "Like that, huh?" He gave a roundhouse kick to the mage's head and he was brought to the ground.

Great King Rat rose for celebration, when a silver hand clutched his shoulder and he whipped around straight into a face he didn't recognize.

***********************************

Cyborg brought the disoriented Beast Boy home. He had never seen the little guy heft a chair like that before, nor had he seen him use punches like that. If it had been Robin or anyone else, he would have believed it, but his surrogate little brother? Never. He returned home to the sight or Raven, who had taken the television for one of her Gothy programs. He shook his head and dragged the disoriented Beast Boy to the couch, "Okay, weird-ass shit going down,"

"Tell me about it," Raven said, "I've had to actually talk to you,"

"We were eating burritos at the Mall when some freak in a bathrobe comes up and challenges Beast Boy to a fight," Cyborg said,

"Perhaps you misheard me."

"And when Beast Boy got up, he kicked the crap out of that mage guy with his fists,"

"I don't want to hear it."

"And now he's just dazed like this," Cyborg finished, regardless. Beast Boy looked at Cyborg distantly, and then at Raven,

"Ahh, snrk, the greeeeat sorceress and the mighty, mighty barbarian, my ooooooold friends…"

"Ah, I think I understand," Raven said, "You got drunk."

There was a tense moment as Cyborg glared at Raven and Raven glared back. Beast Boy, who continued in his daze to talk to things seemingly randomly, broke the moment. He looked at the TV screen and sat before it awkwardly. He then began to bow as though coming before an idol in a temple, "I have come before thee, Silvery God, to receive your blessing," he said, distantly.

Raven and Cyborg looked at him, then at one another. They shared a conspiratorial nod, and Cyborg knocked Beast Boy out.

*******************************

Beast Boy woke up with a headache and a bandage over a small bump on this head. He looked around, and found himself to be in his room, all tucked up. He must have fallen asleep, he said, but then again there was no accounting for the bump on his head that way. Whatever. He got out of his bed, landing with a loud and gut-wrenching thud, but producing himself from the crash unharmed. He rose triumphant! And he immediately went to his computer to check his mail.

There were three messages there. The first read thus:

TO: Bloodstomper@rhye.questforeternity.net

FROM: Titania@acadamy.questforeternity.net

SUBJECT: Rematch?

I'm sorry, I didn't know you were AFK. I just thought my thief was too fast for you.

We'll play again some other time? E-mail me.

Princess Titania

acadamyofheroes.net

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Beast Boy scoffed, "No one can beat my dude in a fair fight, lady." He looked at the link at the bottom of the letter, "That sounds somewhat familiar, and I don't know why."

He looked at the next.

TO: Bloodstomper@rhye.questforeternity.net

FROM: rgoodfellow@academy.questforeternity.net

SUBJECT: i demand a rematch

d00d, you so CHEATED!!!! Meet me tonight on academy servers. bizzatch.

Prince of Mischief, Robin Goodfellow

academyofheroes.net

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"That damn address again. What's with this? Some kind of freaky clan or something?" Beast Boy looked at the last e-mail. It was labeled simply: "Join the Academy of Heroes" and it was from 'oberon@acadamy.questforeternity.net".

It read only this, "Be there."

------------------------------------------------

Part 2: In The Lap Of The Gods

Beast Boy cleared his schedule for tonight. He hurriedly told no one to bother him and locked the door to his room. The rest of the Titans barely had time to blink before he had done all of this. "What was that?" Robin asked, confused. He looked to Cyborg, who didn't blink because he was racing away in his video game. Cyborg shrugged and cleared past the finishing line,

"No idea. Probably playing that damn video game of his," Cyborg said, "I haven't had anyone to whoop because he kept PK'ing my guys in that game. I was at a barbarian out of last resort and he still killed me,"

"Jealous much?"

"Look, just because I challenged him the first time's no excuse," Cyborg said. The girls just sighed at the boys' serious attitude towards video games. "I don't like it but I can't make him not play. Though,"

Robin caught the unsure tone of his voice and moved in, "Though?"

"Though there was something strange yesterday," Cyborg ventured, "I can't really explain it, but we were attacked by a guy that looked like he had walked straight out of the damn game,"

"Really?" Robin seemed to think for a second, "What happened?"

"He sorta shorted my circuits and then Beast Boy went nuts and beat the living tar out of him in a fist fight," Cyborg started another race, "Never knew the kid knew how to fight,"

"Neither did I," Robin said. He looked to the girls, "You tried that game out, didn't you?"

"Yeah, we got sent a copy," Raven said, "I played as a necromancer for a few days before the ultimate futility of the game and its pathetic stat system and unbalanced class system put me off from it. I find Massive Multi-Player Role Playing Games to be a sad put-off from the days of classic private computer role playing genre."

There were stares from the boys,

"The game sucked," Raven explained, simply.

"Oh." Cyborg put the controller down, "Anyway."

"Anyway," Robin agreed. They seemed to think for a minute, "Star?"

"Yes, Robin?"

"What did you think of the game?"

"It was… uninteresting and ugly looking."

"Somehow I knew you'd say that,"

"Besides that, I concur entirely with Raven." There was that silence and then the boys just gave up on trying to understand them. "I do, however, think that Beast Boy is dedicating too little time to us, his friends,"

"Now that sounds like something we can all agree on," Cyborg said. They looked at Raven. Raven looked back. She shrugged.

************************************

Beast Boy logged on as the Great King Rat. He never really understood why the others didn't play with him, or why Cyborg had accidentally hacked into his character's data and renamed him Rat, but he still hated it. He looked at the server list. There was Rhye, Castille, Eden, and Ankh-Morpork, but no 'academy'. He shrugged and typed in 'academy.questforeternity.net'.

"Welcome, Great King, to the Academy of Heroes Server. We have been expecting you," a gentle female voice said. Rat looked around. He was in a marble hallway that led on into eternity where it flickered out like a candle. The paladin paced down the hall, "Where is that h4xx0r." The hall was the most detailed he had ever seen in the game. The other servers had bland background textures, but this one seemed almost real-time. The portraits depicted the Lord of Nature, the Lady of Grace, the Lady of Misery, and, among others, the Prince of Mischief, whose portrait was missing. He looked at it closely. "Looks like they're doing some redecorating,"

"Quite astute," said a charmingly educated individual. Rat turned around and looked to see a man who looked fit for the aristocracy. His model was detailed and almost, not quite, but almost lifelike, "The hierarchy of the Academy is undergoing some changes,"

"Really?" he pointed to the empty space, "Was this the guy who wanted a rematch?"

"You don't get second chances in the Academy, my friend. He won't be getting that rematch," the man said,

"You must be the Prince of Pain or something," Rat commented. There was a chuckle from the man,

"No, not quite. I am the Founder of this Academy. I'm here to welcome you on your consideration for the empty position. Not many make it this far, my dear good man. However, a name like Rat is most unworthy to your skill,"

"That's what I tell the b0z0z," Rat said, "But someone decided to hack into my account and change it,"

"Ah, I see. We'll allow you to change it when you finally are accepted," said The Founder with a bit reservation, "Though I'm almost definite you will pass the test. King Oberon is not online at this point in time, but Princess Titania and Queen Mab are eager to make your acquaintance,"

"Ah, yes, the ladies," said Rat with a wag of his brow. They walked into one of the side halls. Something made Beast Boy nervous about that hall. If you walked too far in it, would you vanish forever? The side room was decorated in feminine décor. There were cherubs all about the doorway, and the ceiling was painted with a magnificent portrait of a seraphim with its wings folded about itself. This server really was something to support all this, "I'm impressed by the decorations,"

"Yes, most of the game was, how to say, rushed," The Founder said, "We had to reserve the future patch for the most elite,"

"Ah, that's why I'm here. l33t is my middle name,"

"So you've said," The Founder said, "The Lady Titania has joined the server, wonderful. This is her chamber while she is preparing her equipment and conversing. Queen Mab says she will be in a little while later. She has business to attend to through the, ahem, computer screen,"

"OK." Rat waited. In a few minutes a figure appeared bathed in light and perhaps one of the most beautiful female models he had ever seen appeared before him. It seemed to smile at him, and a message came through,

"Oh! You're the opponent I accidentally beat," she said, surprised, "How did you get invited?"

"Um, another guy challenged me later. Got some mail later, and I ended up here,"

"I see," Titania said, "You're strong?"

"The strongest, and the l33test. I'm the best." He smirked to himself,

"Oh, so I guess I shouldn't have been able to take you out in three rounds of combat,"

"Shut up." Rat looked hurt,

"Sorry! Sorry," Titania looked at Rat, and seemed to laugh, "Well, you must be tough if my thief took three rounds to beat you. Most enemies go down in one hit. I got a lot of experience beating you,"

"What?"

"Ah, Lord Oberon is online. He's currently buying his wife something from an online store, but says he shall be on momentarily,"

Titania nodded.  "In the meantime, let me show you around."

*************************

Robin typed furiously at his keyboard. The message boards at this site were so full of irrelevant information that it had taken him hours to find someone he could contact about the Quest for Eternity game. The person claimed to have been involved in the development, and had hopped on the board to see what exactly was the general consensus about the final product. It was his last hope for finding something about the game, and the game was beginning to look very suspicious. The game was available only via Internet shops, and the company that appeared on the label didn't seem to exist. No listed website, and a search for the company's name yielded no results.

This was beginning to tickle his detective senses. Nothing added up quite right. He logged into the Instant Messenger program and took an alias that would demand fear. Then he searched for the user.

REDX: Hello?

REDX: … You told me to IM you.

DEATHSTR0KE: Is that what you go by online?

REDX: Sometimes.

DEATHSTR0KE: You struck me as more intelligent. Oh well.

REDX: …

DEATHSTR0KE: Oh, lighten up. What did you want to know?

REDX: Where can I find more information on the publisher of the game?

DEATHSTR0KE: You all ready know if you've come asking me.

REDX: You said you were involved in the development of the game?

DEATHSTR0KE: Mr. X, I assure you I'm barely involved in the development. I was more an aggressive salesperson.

REDX: What's that supposed to mean?

DEATHSTR0KE: I wonder, have you ever considered asking Waynecorp Industries about a recent robbery.

REDX: What kind of robberies?

REDX: Answer me.

DEATHSTR0KE: I'd ask. I'm certain you know whom to ask.

REDX: What do you mean?

DEATHSTR0KE: To be honest, I'm sort of curious as to what he has to say to this myself.

DEATHSTR0KE: Oh, Robin, you amuse me so.

DEATHSTR0KE has gone offline.

Robin stared at the screen. His mind screamed out for a hundred answers, and currently he only knew of one person to ask them. Leaving a message he was going out, he slipped out of the door and into the night.

************************************

The first place that Rat was shown was the great expanses of the courtyard. The courtyard seemed to go on forever much like the main hall, but most interesting was the way that the brooks and the grass seemed to form a great chessboard. Rat whistled to himself, "Nice,"

"Isn't it? I like it here. There are some small quests here when we get bored. Most of the time we're in Eden or Castille. We heard that Rhye had started to get higher level players in there so, I checked it out and found you."

"Wow," Rat said, "I didn't know that,"

"Well, it seems you also met Robin Goodfellow. He all ways gave me the creeps," Titania admitted, "He kept coming on to me, and it just felt very restricting,"

"I didn't like him either. He lives nearby or something,"

"Oh, everyone here lives in the same general area. The game's still pending a major release, I've heard. The Founder says it's just a small start-up, nothing too difficult, but I loved the general atmosphere of the game. I'm a long time RPGer."

"Wow. I got sent my copy, which was kewl,"

"Wow! That's lucky," Titania said. "Let's see, next we have the armory. As a member of the Academy, you'll have access to the weapons available there. I took a special kind of shoe that when equipped ups my speed and strength considerably. I didn't even know that it existed,"

"Pretty awesome. What about swords?"

"The best is equipped to King Oberon,"

"What's with this King and Queen thing?" Rat asked, "It seems a bit weird, y'know?"

"It's kind of like a ladder. I'm the fourth highest level member, Robin was a level or two ahead of me, so we were equal level, Oberon's level 64, and Mab is level 70!"

"I didn't know you could go that high,"

"You've got enough PEXP that you could be a level below me if you pass,"

"Really? Awesome." Rat looked at the hallway they had entered. It seemed smaller and more detailed, "Where's here?"

"This is The Founder's chambers. We can come here and ask him for anything. He's almost always online, but if he's away from his keyboard he'll just leave a message in the doorway. He'll answer any question. We usually also have to change our name, and he's here to do that,"

"Wow, what would I be called if I get in?"

"Well, anything. But Puck sounds cute,"

"Sure. That sounds kewl."

*********************************

Gotham City was bleak and barren, mainly due to the way it was animated. The city was asleep, but there was all ways a crime. The city was recovering, slowly, from its once utterly corrupt government, but to this day there were still small pockets of villainy abound. Commissioner Gordon stood atop the Police Building, waiting by a beacon that he had installed in case he needed the Dark Knight detective's aid. He did right now, "What is it, Commissioner?" came a deep voice to his right. He turned and sighed,

"These crimes have been getting more and more sporadic. Recently we've had two antique stores being robbed and now a sporting good's store,"

"This doesn't seem like something that usually needs my attention,"

"When you see the surveillance cameras you may think differently." The commissioner led Batman into his office and played the tapes one after another. "They disarmed the alarms, but not the tapes. It's like watching a strange pantomime." The first tape showed a man, perhaps in his thirties, stealing from an antique store. He forced his way through the door and proceeded to take an antique sword from the case and seemingly fight an unseen opponent.

"Hm. I think I'm going to have to pay someone a little visit," Batman said,

"And I'm coming along," said a younger voice. The two men whipped their heads around. Robin standing there; "I think this involves the Teen Titans, now."

*********************************

Oberon was a man with a magnificent beard and was adorned by nature's finest leaves and bark. He looked over Rat and frowned, "This the little guy who's been causing a stir by beating Robin Goodfellow?"

"Yes, sir," Rat answered, "I'm really interested in taking this test I've heard about. This sounds really kewl,"

"Well, boy, let's get a few things straight. One of us has to let you take the test, not the other way around. If it were simple enough to challenge us to the test, we'd be overrun with challenges." He looked at Rat carefully, "What's your real name?"

"Well, just call me, uh, Gar."

"Gar?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Weird name," Oberon commented, "But I guess that'll do. Anyone wish to challenge Gar to the test?" There was silence. Rat looked at the masses. Titania looked reluctant, but she seemed about to step up to the plate when an older, more extravagant woman appeared,

"I shall test him," she said with the tone that moves mountains and levels oceans, "I, Mab the Queen, test you Great King Rat,"

"Um, you're that level 70 woman, aren't you?" Rat had a sinking feeling. He looked at Mab, then at Titania, then back at Mab, "What do I have to do?"

"It's really simple, Gar," said Mab, "You must defeat us in combat. We'll limit our levels to 50, and if you win, you're admitted. You all ready defeated Robin Goodfellow; it shouldn't be too hard to defeat me. I merely have the class of Valkyrie,"

"You're a what?" Rat said, "Oh man, look what I got myself into now!"

The courtyard opened up before them, "We shall begin our battle at opposite ends of this battlefield. We must find, and then defeat our opponent. Be advised to use your surroundings. Many a fool have gone headlong against me and paid the price," Mab said. Rat sighed and looked to Titania. She smiled encouragingly, and he grinned right back.

"Okay, let's do this!" Rat announced. Rat walked into the darkness of the courtyard. Mab smiled and looked to Titania,

"There are reports of another high level player in Rhye. I want you to investigate it. The Founder said that he had reserved that area almost entirely for them,"

"Of course, Queen Mab. I'll return momentarily when I… accidently overpower them,"

"Good. Godspeed, Kaylee,"

"Thank you, mother."

END PART ONE