WHILE SLEEPING
Author: Catherine E. Grant (avatar_31@angelfire.com)

Disclaimer: Hal McElroy owns them, not me. Don't you think if I did I'd be writing scripts, not fanfic? And Rachel would still be alive, and Frank wouldn't have sailed off into the wide blue yonder. This is a Jack story (yes, I know) but I am still firmly dedicated to the idea of Rachel and Frank belonging together. I like Alex though, I'll have to write something with her in it. Maybe I'll set her up with Jack, but I think she looks much cuter with Mick. Don't you think it looks like the writers are trying to come full circle? Kill Jack off and you have Frank and Rachel all over again, albeit with different names!

It's not the same though. As much as I admire Dee Smart and Aaron Pederson for their great work, I much prefer Catherine McClements and Colin Friels in the lead roles. So there, Hal!

WHILE SLEEPING

I held you while you slept.

You held me while I cried.

The fire that churned in your eyes sparkled when you looked at me. I was helpless when you kissed me, helpless and utterly yours. You knew that, though. I'd have done anything for you, gladly have given my life for yours. The greatest irony was as you lay dying in my arms. "Better to die in your arms than live without you in mine" I read that somewhere. But I would always have been there you, always though it wasn't to be.

I hate fate. You were too young, too beautiful...too smart and too wise. I miss your sharp remarks, the witty rejoinders you used to always get the better of me. I miss your laugh, the way you walked, the smile that melted something inside of me. Damn you. Why did you have to leave me?

It's been three years now Rachel, and I don't think I can wait any longer. They told me the pain would ease with time, but instead it's just grown stronger. The chasm that divides us is creeping towards me and eroding my walls; soon I will tumble unfettered to its depths. My time is drawing near. The others see it too, I think. The worry etched neath countless brows follow me each day, musing, grieving, yet they cannot stop me. Helen knows. She understands. She always understood you the most, I think, with the exception of Frank; it only follows that she would understand what I'm planning to do. She doesn't condone it but neither does she stand in my way, I think she realises this is how it has to be.

I drift into dreamless sleep with tears upon my cheeks and your pillow beneath my hands. I held you as you slept, but now there is no one to hold me as I cry.

Yet.

I miss you Rachel.

THE END

Words: 322

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Email: avatar_31@angelfire.com