Complicated. What a great way to describe my life right now. Complicated. So many things were going on in one solitary thing, that I just tried to smile and pretend I knew what was going on. Then I waited for someone to explain to me what was really happening, and that made things all the more difficult to understand.
Seriously? I'm sixteen, with no father, a depressed sister, and a mother who is about to go insane. Did I mention werewolf? Yeah, that just adds to the complicated bit.
Being able to morph into a giant dog isn't exactly something I take extreme pride in. Sure, sometimes its fun, the speed you can run at is incredible, but most of the time it's just another burden placed on me. Another problem for me to shoulder, and things were getting heavier than the Earth, let me tell you. I felt stronger than Atlas at this point.
So, everyone got their happy ending, almost. Bella and Edward are free of those Italian vampires, and Renesmee is safe, so Jacob can live happily with his imprint. The Cullens are safe from harm for now. Leah is happier with her life, and is free of Sam's thoughts…at least until he joins Jacob's pack. My mom and Charlie are "getting along great" as they put it, but we all know what's really going on. And then there's me.
Okay, I'll admit that I'm not really upset by the outcome of this whole thing, but I didn't really get anything out of it either. I'm just Seth. Always have been. Always will be. That's how everyone sees me, and up until this point, I didn't really mind that. Being 'just a teenager' has its advantages. I mean, you don't really have that much responsibility, you fade into the background, and nobody really notices if you do anything right or wrong. You're not the hero, but you're not the bad guy, either. You're not even the sidekick. You're just the one who's there to help, backup. Yeah, pretty much story of my life. Just Seth. Just little Seth Clearwater.
I never minded being 'just little Seth Clearwater'. I guess it's just sort of who I am. I like to help when I can, I stand up for what I think is right, and just do my part. I never really enjoy the spotlight; I like watching my friends get up there and shine. I'm happy with what I got, and I make the best of it.
For a long time, being Seth Clearwater was…alright. Never really bothered me. But after a while, you get sick and tired of being pushed to the side. You get tired of being secondhand. You get sick of always being the last choice, the final resort, something that would 'just have to do,' instead of being someone's priority. Basically, you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. And once this kind of thing started bugging me, it was hard to concentrate on anything else. Things like that are kind of hard to ignore. After realizing it, I found out just how much I was pushed around. It was more than I would've guessed. Things like that are kind of hard to tolerate.
Summer was coming once again to La Push, and again, we all expected another lazy, sitting around the house watching bad sitcoms, hanging out when there was nothing else to do…kind of vacations. Since the past winter, things have been pretty calm around Forks and La Push both. Everyone expected the entire summer, well every summer, to be like that. And it was. For everyone else, at least.
For me, this was the summer that changed my life.
