((Okay spoiler alert: I DO live . So if your wondering, OMG DID SHE KILL HERSELF? when I put TBC on the bottem cause I need to finish it. I do live. I'm kinda baseing this on my self. Everything but being suicidal. I'm not. I was at some points in my life but I'm not now and I hope I won't be in the future. Thanks ^^))

* Step one, you say,"We need to talk"

He walks, you say,"Sit down, it's just a talk"

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through*

I was walking with my best friend, Lovino Vargas. Okay, he was more than a friend. He was my savior in a weird dark world I call home, or as the map called it, Lexington, Ky. Its was Halloween and everyone was going out weather it was for a party or trick or treating. I was out for a different reason though. Tonight was the night I was going to do it after all these years. Ever since my 6th grade year I was planning on this day. Although something held me back. I knew that something well and he was standing right next to me. The very thing that prevented me from doing this will either save me or let me die here. He's deciding my fate tonight. Not god, or me or my folks at home watching scary movies with there friends...Its him and him alone. Of course i didn't tell this to him straight out on the phone. I recall the phone call.

"Hey we need to talk. Meet me at shillito park." I say trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Okay..."He says questionably."See you then I guess..."

"Yeah..." I said. Sounding a bit depressed but I hung up before he could as anything.

Now we where there at shillito waling around. No one was there but me and Lovino witch would make things so much more dramatic. He continued to walk down the winding park paths.

"So, What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked a bit worried since I hung up with such a sad tone.

"It just a talk." I said shrugging. "About school and stuff..."

He smiles politely back at me. If he could read minds for a brief second I that smile would mean"thank god your not dying" or something. I stare back as politely as I could in the given circumstances, and we continued to walk.

*Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came*

As we walked I saw the window of the old abandoned train station. The tracks that run though the park are still in use but its mainly used for cargo trains. I stayed on the right side of the trail where the window was and Lovi stayed left. Looking at how we where separated on the path I thought about what two things separated me. My feelings for one. The feeling of fear of what might happen if I do decided to let him decided. If I died because he couldn't think fast enough. No! He will save me! He'll save me because thats what he's done for 5 years! Ever since middle school and he can do it in high school!That is...If he still cares...Shit. Why did I ever let him chose? Why did he come?

*Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life*

He cusses at me on a daily basis, he calls me an idiot on a daily basis,.he teses me making my friends, or what I thought was my friends, leave me, and he always has that grumpy face as always and he's just so...cold. I lost him a long, long time ago. And he isn't coming back. I remember how we first met on his first day at Beaumont middle. He had the same classes as me so the teachers had me show him where everything was, help him earn E-Bucks to go to the incentive, of course at the cost of my incentives but I wanted to for him so he could warm up to the city and the school and America in general since he came from Italy. He seemed so clueless like he need me to know everything. I wish I had those times back. All the wishing in the world couldn't bring that time back. Somewhere in that bitterness the Romano I knew was locked up and lost.

"I think we should stay up all night for Halloween..." I suggested. I don't want him to save me anymore. I knew he would refuse to stay up all night and just when he leaves I'll do it. I mean he's Italian. Sleep is like breathing. If you don't have it you die.

"All night? Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Yeah, I'll just do it alone..."

If only he knew how to save a suicidal girls' life...

*Let him know that you know best

'Cause after all, you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence*

I soon thought of a question that would help ease my mind without telling him everything. I got to slip past his defense with out telling him about my impending death.

"You do think I know what best for me?"

"Well yeah. I mean I've known you for a long time and you haven't done anything I'd consider bad."

I nod. I do know whats best for me and this is for the best.

TBC