Chapter One: Ken Tanaka's Plan
"Hey, Hummel! Come and see me in my office for a quick minute."
Kurt Hummel looked up from his binder devoted entirely to lyrics from the musical Wicked. True, he had memorized every verse from every song from the show within a week of its opening on Broadway, but Kurt had decided long ago that you could never get enough of Wicked.
"M-Me?' he stuttered. 'You want me?"
Ken nodded firmly, then held open the door to his office. Confused, Kurt squeezed between students making their way from class to their next class. Clutching his Dior shoulder bag tightly to his side, and the binder to his chest, Kurt barely managed to make his way into the office. Ken closed the door behind him and stood, with hands to his waist.
"I need a favor, Hummel." he said gruffly. Making his way around the desk, Ken lowered himself into the decaying office chair. It sank slowly with his weight. 'Come on, have a seat."
Kurt held on tight to his binder, and looked over at the only other seat in the miniature office. The fabric of the chair were a shocking lime and black plaid: wooden arm rests emerged from the back of the chair as if they were fleeing the hideousness of the pattern and colors, only to be sucked back in again as they plunged into the seat cushion. A jockstrap lay casually over one of the arms, as if it were one of those doilies that old ladies put on their chesterfields to accentuate their ancient-ness. A yellowing, smelly doily.
"No thanks.' Kurt grinned to ward off the putrid wafts. 'I prefer standing."
"Your loss.' Ken stretched his arms. Resting them behind his head, he continued:
"My nephew is transferring to McKinley this month, Hummel. He's a good kid: real good at football, pretty smart, an all-around nice guy, you know."
"The problem is,' Ken continued. He folded his arms and looked through the window into the boy's locker room. Kurt followed his gaze to see that it was empty, but very messy from football practice the night before. 'Figgins won't let me put Brad on the team straight away: because we're family and all, Figgins doesn't believe it'll be fair that he's automatically accepted, while the other guys had to try out."
"So where do I fit into all of this?" Kurt asked cautiously. He wasn't so sure that he wanted to find out.
"My nephew Brad,' Ken paused, and looked over at Kurt. 'is a kicker."
Confused, Kurt stared at Ken for a moment.
"I was the kicker.' he concluded. 'but I'm not anymore. What does this have to do with me?"
"Damn right you were a kicker.' Ken answered. 'A hell of a kicker, if you ask me. To get Brad on the team, I want to make it seem like he's actually got competition. That way, the other guys won't pick on him so much because he'll be better than the old kicker, and Figgins will see that Brad deserves the spot."
Kurt blinked. There was still a major flaw in the plan.
"Ken- Mr. Tanaka, I still don't understand why I'd be trying out for the football team, when I've already left. Most of the guys would think my trying out again is a big joke, because most of them think I'm a big joke."
"Hummel,' Ken answered tensely. A vein began to throb in his forehead as he pushed himself out of the chair. 'Now, you listen to me here: you're going to go along with my plan, and you're not going to say anything, and you will like the plan. Do I make myself clear?"
Kurt looked at Ken skeptically: it was hard to take a man wearing a fanny pack seriously. Still, Kurt feared that if Ken got any closer, he'd make Kurt wet with angry spit that infamously flew from his mouth during pep talks with his football players. So Kurt nodded.
"Sure, I'll audition for kicker again. Now may I please leave, I'm late for Biology class, and I just can't wait to learn about the circulatory system of fetuses." Kurt made his way over the door and turned the door knob.
"Go ahead,' Ken granted, lowering himself back into his chair. 'Oh, and Hummel?"
Kurt paused and looked up at the ceiling in impatience.
"Yes?"
"Don't get too excited about those fetuses. You've got a big tryout tomorrow after school."
Kurt looked in disbelief over his shoulder at Ken, who seemed to be pretty pleased with his attempt at a joke. Opening the door as quick and as silently as he could, Kurt left the office into the empty hallways of McKinley High School.
A/N: So I noticed that there are no Kurt/ Ken fanfics posted yet… Until now! *Cue unnecessary evil laughter* Don't worry, I promise that this story will stay far away from KurtxKen slash… Patrick Gallagher is amazing and all (Go Canadians!), but I do not want to write a slash with him. Thanks for reading Chapter One!
