The sounds of something beeping and someone silently crying wake her up. Her right arm is in a sling, lying across her chest, bandaged from the elbow up and when she tries to move it, pain shoots through her, making her groan. She opens her eyes slowly to find Paige sitting not far from her, her head in her hands, soft sobs coming from her.
"Paige?"
Paige looks up and wipes at her eyes, giving her a smile through the tears she's trying to hide. Dragging the chair to the bedside, Paige reaches for the hand that's not in a sling, bringing it to her lips to kiss it.
"Are you crying?" she asks and Paige rubs her eyes again. "No. Yes. A little." Her voice is shaky, but she goes on. "You really scared me, Emily. And when I was waiting for you to wake up, I just- thought about losing you."
"Hey, you won't lose me. I'm okay. I'm fine," she says, trying her best not to sound exhausted or in pain. "I know. But you almost drowned. You could have died." She doesn't really remember what happened. She knows there was this pain in her shoulder and the medicine she took against it and that she jumped into the pool. Then, everything is blank.
She'd like to know what happened. She'd like to ask. But she knows now is not the right time.
"But I didn't. Paige, look at me, please." She waits until Paige does and tangles their fingers together, holding Paige's gaze. "I didn't die. I'm here. You didn't lose me. I love you." Closing her eyes, Paige sighs. "I know. I love you too. But don't ever do anything like this again. Promise me."
"I promise."
Paige leans in and kisses her forehead softly as a quiet thanks. "I'm really tired," she hears herself mumble and Paige presses a kiss on her lips. "Then sleep some more. I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"
She nods but doesn't let go of Paige's hand. "Stay a bit longer?" Paige smiles and she feels her eyelids getting heavier.
"Of course."
"Yes, Wayne, I'll call you when we know more. Okay, bye." Emily blinks her eyes open, looking to where her mom's voice came from. "Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling." She lifts her hands to rub her eyes, flinching in pain, because she forgot about her shoulder. "Tired, mostly."
She watches as her mom pours a glass of water and she sits up, reaching her hand out. "Thanks." Her mom sits down on the side of her bed as she downs the water, placing one hand on her knee. "The doctor is going to come by any minute to tell us what's wrong."
Swallowing suddenly gets really hard and her heart pounds a bit faster. She sets the glass down and looks at her hands, playing with her fingers. The door opens and the doctor greets them both, her mom squeezing her knee.
The voice sounds dull in her head and she barely understands what's being said, gathering a few words, but it's enough. Permanent damage to her shoulder. No more swimming.
Her mind reels and her only thought is Stanford. Stanford and Paige.
She doesn't start crying, she just stares at the doctor, then at her mom, then at her hands and pain starts shooting through her body. Someone gently pushes her onto her back and a hand fumbles for the port on her left arm, injecting something through it.
Soon, everything feels heavy and her shoulder doesn't hurt that much anymore. "It's gonna be okay, Emmy, everything's going to be okay," her mom repeats over and over again until she falls asleep again.
She wakes up, her throat feeling incredibly dry, the monitor next to her bed beeping. She feels circles being rubbed into her palm and tries to open her eyes. It's Paige sitting in the chair, staring at their joined hands, worry laced into her face.
"Hey," she croaks out and is startled by her own voice. Paige doesn't seem to mind it though, looking up at her with a small smile, squeezing her hand. "Hey." It sounds relieved, but Emily can hear something else in it. "Did my mom tell you?" she asks, swallowing against her dry mouth.
Paige nods, looking at their hands again "You can't swim anymore." Emily closes her eyes, feeling the straining pain in her shoulder and her heart sinking. Silence swallows the room and she doesn't know how to stop it.
"We don't have to go to Stanford." Her eyes snap open and she tries to push herself up, ignoring the pain. "What? Paige, you got a full ride, you can't throw that away. I won't let you."
Finally, Paige looks at her, eyes brimming with tears. She can see her swallow, and she wishes she could move enough to hold her. "I wanted Stanford for us. And now I don't think I want to go there alone. I don't want to go without you."
Her hand grips Paige's a little bit tighter, before letting go and reaching for her face. She pushes Paige's hair back, cupping her cheek. "I know. I know. We'll find a way. You'll go to Stanford and we'll find a way for me to come with you. And if there isn't one, we'll find a way for me to go to California. We'll get those pushed together beds."
A small smile flickers on Paige's face for just a second and then it falls. "But what if we don't? What if none of the other colleges are right for you? I don't want you to come with me if you aren't really happy with it."
She strokes her thumb over Paige's soft skin, wanting nothing more than to kiss her. "I know. How about this; I promise I won't go to any college unless I really want to and you promise me the same."
Paige presses her eyes shut and nods slowly. "Okay, promise." She smiles softly at her, bringing Paige's face closer to hers. "Thank you. Whatever happens, I promise, one day, we'll have those pushed together beds." The tiny laugh that Paige lets out makes her forget about the pain, about not being able to swim anymore, about all the scary things that are right around the corner.
"I love you," Paige whispers, leaning her forehead against Emily's with a sigh and finally, she is close enough for a kiss. Just before their lips touch she strokes Paige's cheek again.
"I love you too."
