Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does.
Warning: Slightly suggestive…and it is ALL Shigure Sohma's fault.
Sohma Summer Camp Chronicles
Chapter 1: Ritsu Killed the Teacher
Character ages:
Hatori: 18 years old
Shigure: 18 years old
Ayame: 18 years old
Kureno: 17 years old
Ritsu: 12 years old
Akito: 10 years old
Kagura: 9 years old
Rin: 8 years old
Yuki: 7 years old
Kyo: 7 years old
Momiji: 6 years old
Hatsuharu: 6 years old
Kisa: 3 years old
Hiro: 2 years old
Hatori's point of view
Hatori sighed annoyed as he walked towards the newly created 'Sohma Summer Camp'. This was not a good idea. First off, Shigure had already annoyed him by wolf whistling at every girl he saw and then Ayame volunteered them to help at this camp. Kureno had some how been rapped into this and was the only non-annoying one with him right now. Just great. He had no idea who was officially running this, but he did know that this was just a lame excuse from the adults to ditch the kids with them and go on some long needed vacation. He knew this probably was going to cause him unnecessary trouble and the teacher/camp-leader a fair amount of grief. I wonder how much trouble they've already caused…
He had no idea just how bad it was.
Camp Leader Justine's point of view
Omg, Omg, OMG! They said I was signing up to take care of a couple, easy-going kids not a mob of mass murders and angry lunatics!
"Stupid cat! Who do you think you are calling me Templeton!" The girly looking boy yelled at the orange-headed kid. (Templeton is the rat from "Charlotte's Web")
"Well you're just like him: STUPID, WEIRD AND UGLY!" Orange-head screamed at the kid in a rage. BAM! The orange kid was kicked across the room and knocked against a table. Oh my god, oh my god.
"Uh, please… No fighting" I tried to muster. "It's not nice to fight!" I finished weakly, but alas, it seemed no one paid any mind to what I had said for the chick wearing an 'I-Love-Kyo!' T-shirt jumped up and punched the girly-boy.
This is bad, very bad. I think I'm going to die soon.
"Hey!" I said trying to get them to stop unsure of what I should do next. The girly-boy tried to kick the girl while she tried to trip him, all the while she was screaming about 'her Kyo-kun' and 'her unwaning love for him' or something of the sort.
"Stop fighting!" I whispered terrified of these …things. No one even looked at me, they acted like it was normal.
WHAM! I looked back to the fight to see some little kid with black and white hair joining the fight as the orange haired one stood back up. I'm scared, I'm scared; I want to go hide in a little corner with rainbows and sunshine.
"RAWR!" he screamed jumping up and kicking the girl in the head, seeing the multi-colored hair kid kicking the orange one she punched him, sending him across the room where some moody looking chick ran to comfort him. The girly-boy then kicked the orange one, again, sending him into a chair and he huffed. Seeing as the orange-haired one looked upset the 'I-Love-Kyo' one ran to his aid. Girly-boy then just stood there glaring at the orange-haired one.
I am scarred - horrified. I want to go hide in a dark little corner. I'm going to die.
"Uh…" I said traumatized and horror-struck in the silence hoping it would last, when…
"WAHH!" A small blond kid wailed form across the room. "Rin called me a walnut!" The kid screamed at the top of his lungs.
"It's not nice to call people names." I whispered fearful of what the kids would do to me.
"WELL GUESS WHAT? YOUR JUST A STUPID CASHEW!" The moody girl screamed in pure irritation. I cowered in my chair, when an angsty looking kid jumped onto my desk with, with… Oh my god is that a MACHETE?
He's going to kill me. It's all over I'm going to go to a good place with sunshine and rainbows. Bye-bye scary kids. I'm going to die, I'm going to die.
"SHUT UP STUPID BRATS OR I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU SLOWLY AN-"
"Please get off my desk!" I whimpered, since this was the end I might as well say something.
"I AM YOUR GOD, SO GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND GROVEL! YOU SHOULD BE BEGGING ME FOR RAW MEAT! FILTHY CREATURES LIKE ALL OF YOU! I JUST WANT TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AND WATCH YOU SCREAM AS THE BLOOD SPILLS TO THE GROUND AND PAIN FILLS ALL EMOTION!" He said and I just stared.
I'm scared of that boy. I am going to die. Get me out of here, I don't like kids anymore. I'm also suing for trauma therapy.
"Uh.." I whispered fear on my face, in the corner some toddlers began to cry. Wait - oh, my god there's toddler's here, their going to die. Their going to be killed. And then,
"I'M SO SORRY! IT'S ALL MY FAULT - I SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE! I DESERVE TO DIE, KILL ME AND MAKE SURE I AM NOT FORGIVEN! I DESERVE TO GO TO HELL. I'M SO SORRY!" The girl – wait is that a guy? - screamed running around the room frantically. Everyone just watched him/her and I was at a loss for word, hyperventilating and close to fainting.
"I'M SO SORRY!" The kid yelled running up to me and screaming. " I'M SO SORRY MISS-CAMP-LEADER-TEACHER-LADY-PRETTY-WOMAN-HUMAN-PERSON-GIRL! I'M SO SOR-" I couldn't take it anymore, I passed out.
For a minute everyone just stared at her before someone said it.
"You KILLED her, Ritsu! She's dead! AHHHHHH!" Momiji screamed. Everyone stared as Ritsu's eyes widened and he began to spaz out.
"I'M SO SORRY, I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! CALL THE COPS, TAKE ME TO THE POLICE! KILL ME! NO, NEVER MIND I WOULDN'T WANT TO BURDEN YOU! I'LL KILL MYSELF!" Ritsu screamed as he grabbed Akito's machete.
"I KILLED THE TEACHER, I KILLED THE TEACHER!"
"WAIT!" A voice yelled and everyone turned to see Hatori standing in the doorway.
Hatori's point of view
They had been walking down the trail to the cabins for a while when he heard an loud amount of yelling, crashing, screaming, crying and then a jumbled amount of apology's from Ritsu. Looking at each other, we simultaneously decided to go faster and run the rest of the way. Arriving I quickly yanked open the door to find Ritsu dangerously close to stabbing himself and Akito laughing evilly, the room was a wreck.
"Wait!" I yelled and everyone froze to stare at him. What I saw was more than I had expected; chairs and tables in pieces (obviously a fight) and the camp leader lying on the ground unconscious, along with three crying kids, seven extremely irritated, and one in the midst of a insane murder faze. Okay...
"Looks like you kids had some animalistic fun." Shigure said suggestively, I whacked him in the head.
" So… I'm guessing the teacher will be quitting." Kureno said.
One hour later
"So the teacher did quit and after calling the adults I found out that we will be running the camp." I said as they all nodded. All the kids were in time-out currently except for Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa who had fallen asleep.
"What a fun experience this shall be~!" Ayame sang joyously.
"Oh yes, what a fun time to play with the kids!" Shigure agreed. I glared at him.
" Well, it will at least be…interesting." Kureno stated, trying his hardest to be positive. More like it will be an unmanageable living hell, was all I could think.
Authors Note: Thank you for reading and I am very sorry that this chapter is not particularly amusing. The next chapters should be a lot funnier, but this was how I thought best to introduce the story. This is meant purely out of humor and not meant to bash any characters, but exaggeration makes life much more entertaining!
