A/N: Just an 8059 story I'm working on. I adore this couple so much and I got this idea one Friday night. It's not great, but I'd appreciate some feedback, please? 3
The boy of interest has black hair and dark brown eyes and what seems to be a permanent smile plastered to his face. He has a nice laugh and a real talent for baseball. He's not too bright when it comes to school work, but all his positives make this a very, very small negative. The boy also has the ability to make Gokudera Hayato as hot as he can possibly get and it aggravates Gokudera to an extreme extinct. Gokudera badly wants those tan hands - which he imagines are calloused from his baseball - exploring and teasing his body. It makes him sick, because he's never been interested in boys before and never interested in someone as stupid and annoying (and oh, so fucking beautiful) as the baseball nut.
The boy's name is Yamamoto Takeshi. Whenever he's around, Gokudera seems to get instantly aroused. He hides it with harsh words and curses that he only half means and tells himself that it's only because it has been so long since he's been sexually relieved and his hand and cold showers aren't doing anything for him anymore and that he all he needs is too get laid with anyone and he'll be fine. But the bomber would never admit that the idea of having sex with anyone but Yamamoto makes his stomach clench with uneasiness. Yes, he wants Yamamoto in so many, disgusting ways.
It's days like today when he doesn't want to leave his apartment. The morning after Gokudera had a wet dream of that stupid, idiotic, annoying Yamamoto and woke up with a tightness in his bed shorts. Gokudera never wants to face Yamamoto on these days but he has to go to school so he can protect the Tenth so he has to see Yamamoto and his mind in in such a jumbled, messy state that his thoughts are rambling and his brain just needs to shut up. He runs a hand through his bedraggled hair and makes himself get out of his bed. The Tenth needs him after all. And maybe, a small, teeny, tiny, almost unnoticeable and unnoteable part of him wants to see the baseball idiot. Maybe.
Yamamoto is, always has been, and always will be, an idiot. At least, that's what a certain silver haired boy has told him on multiple occasions. He, himself, doesn't think of it as idiocy, but in fact prefers avoiding the obvious. If he wanted to, he could be as serious and uptight as Gokudera, but that's not what he wants.
He wants to be happy every minute of every day, to live in the present and not worry about misfortunes the future might bring. Lately, though, his obliviousness has been failing him. Being around Gokudera makes everyone of his senses awaken, one's he didn't even know existed. The thought of Gokudera makes his knees weak and his heart flutter with adoration and love.
At first, he was so confused about such feelings. They were boys, the two of them. And boys are supposed to grow to be men and fall in love with a beautiful woman who will give him beautiful children. Yamamoto was so sure that these feeling were just friendship, but he definitely doesn't feel this way towards any of his teammates of Tsuna.
And a friend, especially friends of the same sex, are not supposed to welcome the idea of kissing another friend. You're only supposed to kiss the one you love, the girl you love. A thousand emphasis on the GIRL part. And the thought of maybe, possibly loving Gokudera has made the carefree Yamamoto not so carefree anymore. He worries about things like, "What would Gokudera do if I told him?" "Would my teammates accept me still even if was gay?" "What would my old man think?".
Yamamoto Takeshi is not the worrying type, and when he gets a bit of worry, it overrides him and it's all he can think about. Hell, even his game has been off lately.
The one question that enters the baseball star's mind more than any is, "What should I do?"
School is a hellhole, Gokudera decides. It is hell because he has to sit in class and pretend to be listening to a teacher lecture about thinks he's already learned and memorized. It's hell because he can't talk to the Tenth as much as he'd like to during class hours. It's hell because every fiber of his body is aware of Yamamoto's presence in the room. Every tiny molecule knows where Yamamoto is and is aching for him.
Coming to terms with this attraction was hard for the Italian, but he can finally admit it... to himself, at least. When he thought about it, it really shouldn't surprise him that he is gay. His Bianchi-phobia was reason enough, but then there was the issue of his step mother being the bitch she was and his actual mother dying... He had women trauma. Then, Gokudera noticed that, actually, he never got that turned on my women before anyway, maybe boobs weren't his thing, he just had sex with them because he was a bad ass and it worked with his image. And sex felt good, after all.
The only thing he wondered about was, why Yamamoto? Why an idiot and not someone as admirable as the Tenth? Fuck, he'd love to be in love - no, not love. Never love. Lust - with the Tenth, but Gokudera couldn't picture it. His mind preferred to stay focused on Yamamoto.
And Gokudera kinda, sorta liked it that way.
"Dad, if I... if I were gay, would you be alright with it?"
Yamamoto's eyes were downcast and his hand was ruffling his black hair nervously. He was sick, sick of worrying. Others had started to notice his distress and question his about it, so no it was time to get rid of it. As it happened, to rid himself of it, he had to come at it right at it's source.
His dad blinked, and looked at his son with a mix of emotions in his eyes. Yamamoto looked up sheepishly and gives his dad a small smile and nods. "Because I think I am." Yamamoto isn't really surprised when his dad lays a hand on his shoulder and tells him that he understands and will always support him in whatever it is he does, but he can't help the feeling of relief flooding through his joints.
One down.
The next confession will be ten times harder, because now he's dealing with the temperamental Storm guardian. He wants Gokudera to be alone when he asks to talk to him, but the Italian has yet to leave the Tenth's sides and Yamamoto can't wait any longer.
"Oi, Gokudera, can I talk to you?" It takes effort and concentration to keep himself from stuttering. His heart is pounding and he has butterflies in his stomach.
"You are talking to me. Che, idiot."
"...In private?"
"You want me to leave the Tenth's side to talk to you?" Yamamoto shouldn't have expected anything different from this reply, but he'd worked up so much nerve for this and he'd been shot down before he'd even had a chance to confess.
"Gokudera-kun, don't you think you could talk to Yamamoto for a minute? I'll be fine, really." The look Gokudera gave Tsuna would've been funny if Yamamoto's brain and heart weren't in a panic. He gave Tsuna a bright smile and silently thanked him.
"This better only last a minute."
While Yamamoto led him into the hall, Gokudera's mind was going wild. Yamamoto must have noticed something. Has Gokudera's voice lost it's bitter tone when he talked to him? Or maybe he wasn't insulting him as much as he used to. Fuck, maybe he'd been caught sneaking a look at him out of the corner of his eye.
Yamamoto was going to ask him to back off and he'll reject him. Worse, he'll reject him nicely.
They stood in silence for awhile, until Gokudera said, "You're down to 49 seconds."
Yamamoto looked at him in surprise. "Oh, well, I was, uh, wondering... Would you be interested in being my boyfriend, Gokudera?"
It took exactly seven seconds Gokudera's mind to register Yamamoto's words, and point five after that to knock him flat on his ass (figuratively of course). "Are you really that much of an idiot? Boyfriend? What are you, a fag? You're disgusting."
"W-wait! No, that didn't come out right! Gokudera, I really, really like you, but I didn't mean to ask you out I...I just wanted you to know that it's impossible for me to look at you as just a friend anymore."
This was not supposed to happen. Yamamoto wasn't supposed to feel this way about him! Gokudera was supposed to keep his love - lust - hidden away inside and never come to terms with it out loud. Now, he had two options. Admit his feelings or break Yamamoto's heart into a million tiny pieces.
Being the insensitive, asshole-jerk everyone assumed he was, he chose option two. "Fucking faggot. Screw off." He stalks back into the classroom, leaving Yamamoto with just his thoughts and a pain in his chest.
A week or so later, Gokudera is touching himself. He is embarrassed and ashamed, but he has gym with Yamamoto, so he's seen him practically naked and, on top of that, sweaty and it's so fucking hard to get that image out of his head. This was how he'd relieve himself, with his hand working and his mind picturing.
When he finishes, he rolls to his side and hugs one of his pillows, the need to hold something overpowering. "Mio dio...," he whispers. "Fuck."
He's pretending that Yamamoto is his pillow, that Yamamoto is running fingers through Gokudera's hair and as Gokudera keeps muttering words in Italian, Yamamoto is whispering soft Japanese words in his ear before he drift into sleep.
There's light in the room and Yamamoto really, really doesn't want to wake up. He curls up in a ball and brings the covers over his head.
His phone is ringing the background and he definitely doesn't want to answer it, but for some reason his hand reaches out and grabs it from it's place on the floor next to his bed. "'Lo?" he answers, sleep still heavy in his voice.
There's nothing but breathing on the other end, not hard breathing, but hushed, hardly there breaths. "Hello?" And then there's a beep; the call has ended.
When Yamamoto checks the called ID and sees the name 'Gokudera', he is even more confused.
Fuck.
The Italian was in front of Yamamoto's house, getting up the courage (and maybe a good excuse if things didn't go as planned) to knock on his door. The idea he'd had to call him had failed miserably, he couldn't even get one word out, so he'd decided to go to Yamamoto's house and face this head on.
They had, of course, talked after the whole "confess-and-reject" incident. They had to, they went to the same school and both of them were close friends with the Tenth. Things had finally stopped being awkward with them
So he knocked. And stood. And waited. And after what seemed like forever, the door finally opened.
"Gokudera? Is something wrong? I saw you called, did you lose connection or something? Or did you accidentally call or-"
"Shut up, idiot. Fuck. Is your dad home?" Yamamoto shook his head and Gokudera put his hand on the baseball player's chest and hit him with his green eyes that had traces of want and lust. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
As soon as Gokudera crossed the threshold, he slammed the door closed and was all over Yamamoto, kissing his lips, face, neck, collarbone.
"G-gokudera, no..." Yamamoto's face was flushed and it was obvious he wanted it just as much as Gokudera.
"Heh... What's the matter, baseball nut? Don't you want to fuck me?"
Yes, Yamamoto wants to. He wants to so very bad and it's so hard to tell Gokudera no. "Gokudera, I don't... I don't think that-" And Gokudera's kissing him again, shutting him up. "Come on, Yamamoto," Gokudera breathes, his breath tickling Yamamoto's ear. "Let's go to your bedroom."
Gokudera falls into Yamamoto's bed and he's sort of surprised that it's not that uncomfortable. He spreads his legs a little, twirls a piece of hair around his finger, and smiles. "Come on, Yamamoto, fuck me."
"H-how do two boys do something like that?"
Gokudera leans forward, grabs Yamamoto's hand and pulls him onto the bed. "I'll show you, if you want me to." He kisses his fingers. "Let me show you."
And Yamamoto nods.
