I think I'm going crazy.

At night, they come to me. It's always the same ones, but they're... different. Older. Younger. They're so real, sometimes I don't know if I'm awake and hallucinating or dreaming of their faces.

They can't be real.

Tonight, it's another female. There seems to be a lot of them. She's an exotic beauty, only about fourteen or so, with lengthening hair. She clamours to me in the dark, eager, breathless. "Where's Brin?" she asks. "Is she safe? Is she happy? Does she ask about me? Or Max? What about Maxie? Ben, at least tell me about Ben. They're my FAMILY! You can't do this to me! Tell me!"

"What are you talking about?" I ask in confusion.

Her face clouds in fury and her fist flies out, punching me in the face. I hear the sound and feel the sting, but... it's not all there. Vague. Blunt. Faded. Like I imagined the noise, or her elegant fingers just missed me.

"That was uncalled for!" I find myself saying. She glares at me. "You will show the proper respect for your CO, Tinga!"

"Couldn't seem to restrain myself, sir," she says, and that last word is pronounced so loathingly I want to cringe and die.

I love this woman and think of her... I don't know... like a little sister? Why is she angry with me? And who are Brin and Max?

Then there's another, a boy, even younger, only twelve, with dark blonde hair. He holds out his hand, expecting me to... give him something.

"Your tooth," he says solemnly, his voice echoing. "I need it."

"What the hell for?" I ask in shock.

This boy looks at me as though I'm stupid. "The Lady, of course. They make Her stronger... so She can fight the Nomalies."

"You have to leave," I hear a voice that sounds sort of like mine saying.

"I can't leave. They won't let me. It's their rules."

"Dammit, I'm giving you an order!" I bark. It's not me saying these words, I'm sure of it.

"She wants me here." Whenever he speaks any word of this Lady of his, he speaks it with reverence. The words 'she' and 'her' are uttered carefully.

"You used to say to us that She was everywhere. That was what you believed," my voice says.

"I don't know what to believe," he says, hanging his head.

He fades. There's a pause and I see someone quite a bit younger, a child. I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl because it wears a hospital gown and has a crew cut.

Eva. The name pops into my head.

Why?

"You can't ignore it any more! Jack's DEAD. We have to get out of here soon. This place is poisoning us, one by one. First Danny, then Jack- any of us could be next!"

"Don't try to be poetic. That's Ben's department," I find myself hissing at her. For I know now that the child is female, from her voice. She has blue eyes that shine in the endless dark of my room.

She glowers at me through tears gathering in her blue gaze. "What part of 'Jack's dead' do you have trouble with? Don't you care?"

Somehow I know this girl shouldn't be like this. She's meek, quiet, mild.

"I doubt we'll live to twenty in this place," she says, hugging herself. "You... you never really loved him, didn't you? Didn't you? It was all a lie, you traitorous monster!"

I gasp and glare at her. This girl has never insulted me before! Never!

Wait. How did I know that?

"Private, you are out of line!" I bark, but she raves on.

"That's why you don't care. That's why you won't save the rest of us! Why won't you DO anything?"

"Eva-" I begin, but she's crying now. This isn't right. She has fire in her eyes and her lower lip quivers. Eva's hands curl into fists and she stares angrily up at me. Tears run silently down her face, which is set in anger.

"My brother... my brother Jack. He's gone forever. How many of us have to die before you'll take action? Jondy? Maxie? Me?"

"You're not about to die," my voice retorts. It sounds young.

"I loved him. Don't ask me how I know what love is."

I find myself smirking. "Your songs. The ones that the guard plays on his radio, Eva. Melodies. Nothing more."

She starts to argue, and I hastily say, "But it exists, Eva. And Eva... don't EVER accuse me of not loving any of you. I would die if it meant saving any one of you from danger."

"Whatever you say," she says tiredly. She sniffles and wipes at her eyes. "Jack..."

Then there are sounds in the night. Gunshots. Screams. Breaking glass. A car revving up, and cries...

Women, men, children, adolescents. They are all the same.

It is an endless parade. It is an endless parade of angry, scared, beautiful, terrible people, and it haunts me in the far reaches of the darker nights.

Light. I realise that my eyes are closed- I must've fallen asleep.

"Adam?" calls a voice. "Are you up?"

The voices clamour one last time in my head, to haunt me in the times they leave me in peace.

"Why won't you help us?"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Why don't you believe, Zack?"

"Why did you abandon us?"

"Zack?"

"Zack!"

"ADAM!" My name is yelled again. I shake my head and indignantly, the voices fade into nothing.

Not Zack. Adam. I can't let them get the better of me. They're nothing to do with me.

I am not Zack.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: 'Dark Angel' belongs to Fox and James Cameron. Not me. So don't sue.

NOTE: Oh man... in the episode 'Some Assembly Required' I cried twice! That only just misses the mark 'Pollo Loco' set, in which I cried three or four times. *BLINKS. EVERYONE GROANS LOUDLY AT HER SOOKINESS* Hope this was appreciated!