We have just made love a mere few hours ago. It was tender and sweet, much different than every time before. It wasn't rushed by any means. It was everything that I always thought it would amount to and so much more. Afterwards, we held each other. Something that used to be very ancient to me. Sounds a bit strange I know but I was never the type of girl to want to hold someone after. Somehow with her, there is never a time when I want to let her go.

My past still haunts me, and she knows it. My past is part hers as well. It was one of hurt and anguish and one that I hope that we can both someday put behind us. We talk to each other about our fears now. It is a daily occurrence and we listen to what each other has to say. The "L" word is a totally new concept for me but I after years of being so closed, am finally getting the hang of what that word really means. When the words have all been said and exhaustion has begun to take over, we hold on for dear life and solidify in each other just what it means to be together.

I am the strong one, or rather I always thought myself to be. I am finding out really quickly, when it comes to love I am still learning. There is that dreaded "L" word again, not my strong point at all but as I said…I am learning. This concept of love and caring is not new to me. The fact that I would go to the ends of the earth and hurl myself off of it to protect this amazing girl that is lying next to me is.

We engage in what she calls "our heart to hearts". Which really to me just means spending extra time with her and pouring out everything that fears me and everything that doesn't. I'm getting better, I don't cry as much anymore. I was never much of a crier in the first place, but somehow when she shattered my walls, the dam broke right along with them. Some days I am strong and some days I am weak, but she doesn't care…either way she will hold me if I need it and vice versa.

There are days when I am hard to settle and all she has to do is lay her soft lips on mine. I am convinced those lips are magic because instantly in the moment I feel all of my fears and anxieties melt away. There are nights like tonight when we make love and it's as if the whole world disappears and it is just her and me.

We are often times quite a disaster…a beautiful one. She can't hold on when I am bringing her to the brink, and I pride myself that I can hold on as long as she needs me to. I feel that I am becoming more sensitive to her touch though, which to me only means it is a matter of time before the blonde can render me helpless with just the sweet sound of her voice or that look in her eyes that I know is meant for only me. We make each other come undone in the most amazing of ways. It is always gentle, often times slow and then when the inevitable happens, we hold each other tight against our bare skin and put the pieces back together again.

I have found that she is very impatient. It is something that I learned the very first time we made love. I don't mind it not at all but there are times where I just would like to explore the entirety of her body with my lips and she completely dissolves before I even get the chance. She says it is a curse. I find it to be one of her many enduring talents.

I love her.

I have spent the last hour watching her as she soundly sleeps. She was exhausted, not just from our earlier activities but from the piles of work that she has had to catch up on. Her new business is strong, one that brings in a great deal of satisfaction to her, and money as well. The money is not of importance to either of us, but it is nice to know that we are earning it honestly for a change. I have gone back to school. A decision that took no convincing at all to make. I am good at writing and thought with her suggestions that I would maybe try to obtain an English Degree or something along those lines so that I could try to make something of myself. I am a good person. I always knew that I was, even when I wasn't acting or treating myself as so, I knew I was still in there somewhere. I have just figured out that I am a better me when I am with her.

She is currently turned away from me, pressed firmly against my body. We are still naked. In fact it is pretty rare that we sleep in clothes anymore. Even when we go to bed to do nothing but hold each other and sleep, we still sleep bare and allow the heat of each other's body to keep us warm. It is crazy actually, the way that our bodies have become perfectly in tuned with each other's since that very first touch. I still can't get my mind off of the volts of electricity that surged through me when her hand first came in contact with my cheek. I can't help but smile at the thought. It is just all very strange really. It is almost as if we were in fact part of a puzzle that has been waiting a lifetime to be put together. Corny as it may seem, those are my thoughts.

I chance another glance her way, I know she needs her sleep, as do I. We are both on an emotional roller coaster of our own in this journey we all call life. There are things that we wish to pursue, things we wish to accomplish and things we wish to solidify but time right now just is not our friend. We are so busy, separately lately that coming together even in times like this are becoming more and rarer. It's tough and it's achingly painful at times, but we know that we are going to be okay. We are not in this alone anymore, we have each other and we are in it together.

I'm rambling in my head as I stare down at her. The cream colored down is draped just below her waist, displaying the most perfectly toned body I have ever seen. I have an arm placed just above her head so that I can run my fingers lightly through her hair. My other arm is just above the edge of the comforter on her silky bare skin. My fingers are flat against where her navel sits and I can feel her breath slightly moving my hand up and down.

I really want to kiss her. I am convinced now that I could spend the rest of my life doing so, however, our new schedules will refuse to allow it. Right here in this moment though, that is all that I can think about doing. I am already pressed as close to her as I can get, but I still don't feel as if I am close enough. I can never be close enough.

I have to be sneaky when I make my move, because the first kiss could wake her. I don't want to disturb the peaceful slumber that she has drifted off into just yet. I lean down I want my lips to come in contact with her skin now. A slight graze, and my lips immediately melt against her soft bare shoulder. Then another soft kiss, this time a little further to the left. Her breathing is not changing. I may actually get away with this.

Another kiss a little higher up, then another…my kisses remain gentle against her as I start to paint the soft pale skin in front of me. I am close to her neck now as I adjust my body just enough to reach more of her. She stirs just a tiny bit when I remove my arm from around her waist. I halt my movement just a moment to make sure that she have not woken up yet. I quick count to 10 with my eyes closed reveal that she hasn't and I smile. Maybe a one that is a little too devious but hey, it is still a smile.

I take a deep breath, and inhale the scent that is coming off of her skin. It is my favorite perfume, MK Jasmine, to be exact. I let the smell permeate my senses for mere seconds longer before I remember the task that I wish to complete.

I want to get back to work now, I need this. I want this. Not just for me but for her as well. I use my now free hand to carefully remove her hair from her neck so that I have more skin to work with. I lightly graze my fingers across her neck causing the tiniest of moans to release from her mouth. I won't lie…her subtle sexy noises could dissolve me in no time at all if I wasn't too busy trying to show her how much I love you.

Another kiss, this time in the space where her and neck meet. She inhales deeply allowing for her shoulder to rise a tiny bit. I think I have been found out. I created a tickle on her skin. I see can goose bumps as they start to rise. This only causes me to smile again.

I am dissolving myself with each touch of her skin. I have to forget about the heat that is already starting to build intensely between my legs if I want to continue on with my exploration of her body. I rub my thighs together just enough to create a friction. This thankfully allows me some more time to continue on with her.

I open my mouth just slightly and let my tongue make an appearance. I lick a line up her neck and then leave open mouth kisses on the trail my tongue has just left. I love the taste of her skin. Coconut body wash and the smell of my MK on her makes it that much better. I take a deep inhale near her hair now…it smells so sweet. It's that new Enchanted Midnight Shampoo that you wanted but you refused to spend the $45 on it. Well babe, I did and you were happy. That smile on your face was worth every penny.

Everything about her is invading my senses now and is making it so hard for me to concentrate. I know that if I just slip my hand in between my legs to relieve the pressure even just the slightest that I know I will be able to make it through this, but I won't…this is about loving her and only her.

I take a deep breath and suppress the moan that I have been holding in. I could seriously just take her right now, but I won't. Come on, show your strength. A soft kiss just under her earlobe and then my open mouth over it to lightly suck. She moans again and then gasps out my name. The most beautiful sound I think I have ever heard. I remove my mouth and then look at her. Gorgeous eyes are still closed but she has changed the position of her body to where her back is now flat on the bed.

I look up, her lips are pursed and I can see that her breathing is speeding. I know at this moment that if I was too slowly slip my fingers down to her folds I would be met with an amazing warm sticky surprise. I say her name, barely a whisper, but enough for her to hear me. I ask her to please open her eyes as I change my position as well. I move my body to hover over hers. My hair is falling on the sides of my cheeks and causing a tickle on her skin. Wide blue eyes are open now. They just now illuminate a darker shade, than her always fascinating color. I see her smile, and I smile back before I lower my body down on top of her. My lips are next now hovering barely an inch above, waiting for what I know is coming. She lifts her body up and contact is made. A soft, loving, tango of lips and tongue.

"Pi..." I break away, her name almost breathlessly tumbling from my lips, before her mouth is connected to mine again.

She bring her arms around to sit against my lower back, she are tickling the skin there. I have to reach my hand back to grasp one of hers and bring it to the front because if I don't I will lose it. She knows all too well that there is a special spot on my lower back. That spot that when touched by her can drive me completely insane. She enjoys using that to her advantage at times.

I shake my head to try to get myself to focus again. I take our clasped hands and tangle our fingers together, firmly but not too tightly. I want to start on my exploration again, but I know with her awake now it is going to be a bit more of a challenge.

I ask her nicely to please take her hands and place them under her head. She gives me that look. The ones that only a bit questioning but completely of trust. I explain to her that I am in no way trying to tease her. I just want my chance to taste every inch of her skin. She bring her hips up against mine to let me feel that she is already soaked and right then I want to just give in and make her come undone. But I won't. I want to love her…all of her right now.

I lean down again, another firm but gentle kiss to her lips once she has done what I have asked. I thank her for trusting me enough to let me do this to her, and then whisper an I Love You against her now slightly open lips. She smiles and it's the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

I start to move my kisses up to graze her nose, the bridge and then her forehead. I come back down, running my lips across each cheek and then a soft graze upon her lips once more. It is me that smiles this time. I look up to catch her eyes and her head is lulled back slightly and eyes that were open are once again closed.

I ask her to please look at me. I want her to watch as I love her. She adjusts the pillows enough under her head to be able to prop up so that she can see me better. I feel as her as she begins to open her legs. My body slowly starts to fall into the space that has now been created for me. I lick my lips, to keep them moist, and then I continue on. I run kisses and then my tongue lightly down the front of her neck, then softly repeat my motions on each side. She gasps again and her body is making little movements beneath me. I am having a really hard time trying to keep my own arousal at bay but I will, because again this is all for her.

I lock eyes with her and another smile starts to take over my lips. I tell her again how much I love her and I start to place kisses and tiny licks along her collar bone. I know it is hard for her to stay still and to keep her hands stationary but I tell her how much I appreciate her letting me love her this way. I also thank her for trusting me.

My kisses continue on near each of her armpits and then halfway down each of her sides. I kiss the open mouth trail back up again, starting on her right side and curve in so that I can lick down the defined space between her breasts. I hear her gasp my name and I am pretty sure that her name just escaped from my mouth as well.

I slowly leave open mouth kisses on the same trail coming back up and I can feel her lower half come in contact with mine. My lips pull away from hers and my head jolts up as I moan out. I look up at her and she has that smile on her face again. She knows exactly what she is doing to me, but in return I know exactly what I am doing to her.

She tries to move one of her hands. She is telling me that she needs to touch me. That she wants to feel the reaction that all of this is giving me. Believe me, I want to let her but if I let her snake her soft hands between us, I will be a goner. I just can't have that happen right now. I want to do this for you. I want to explore every inch of her perfect body with my lips. I want her to feel how much I love her and I want it to linger on her body for days. I am not always good with words, but in this moment with her, my message is being received.

I continue on…trying so hard to not pay attention to the pool of wetness between my legs. I could say this over and over that this is for her, when although in reality I know it is for us. It's been us for a while now…the most beautiful and amazing while in my whole life.

I look down, her right breast is in front of me and I am kissing every inch of the perfectly round mound. Her nipple is hard and standing at full attention. I can't help it. I take it into my warm mouth and suckle it ever so lightly before letting it go and placing a soft kiss on the top of it. I repeat my motions, this time with the left side. She is writhing beneath me. I tell her I've got her and that I will never let her go. I thank her again for trusting me to take care of her in such an intimate way. Another soft kiss in between her breasts and I move my body downward.

I can tell she is becoming so impatient by the movements of her body. I tell her that I can smell her and that it is the sweetest most exotic scent that has ever filled my senses. It is intoxicating and all I want to do is bury my tongue within her opening. I want to cum so that I can taste her, but I won't because I want to bring her so far to the edge that she begs for me.

And besides, I am not done kissing her yet.

I start to lick and lightly kiss along the underside of her breasts. God I love the taste of her skin. The smell and the taste of her just draws me in that much more. I am so strong, but so weak when it comes to her.

Continuing downward, I can keep eye contact with her now. I am getting close to where I know she need me and I am trying hard to not tease her. I have to stop for a second and rub my thighs together once more. I can feel the wetness starting to smear between my inner thighs. I reassure her again that I am not teasing her, that I really just want to taste every inch of her.

Open mouth kisses continue, down her right side curving towards her stomach. Now to her left side and back in. I've reached her navel now. I dip my tongue inside lightly and swirl it around before kissing it gently. I'm going further down now. Her scent is even more defined now and I feel as if I am going to cum before I get a chance to finish my amazing journey. I moan out her name again and then gasp when her hips come up and bump into me.

She thinks it's funny, I can tell by the look on her face. I smile too because she knows by the look on my face that I am pretty close to letting go, and I know by the look on hers that you already has let go a few times. I silently laugh because she is so impatient and that is probably one of the most adorable things about her.

My kisses start to become a little firmer now, but still so gentle against her skin. I'm watching every slight opening of her mouth, every rise and fall of her chest. I'm watching as her hands are slowly starting to creep out from under her head and they are moving to the side to grasp our new sheets. I give her a playful glare because she better not rip them…they were spendy. She just stares back with her darkened eyes and grips them tighter. When I lay my chin upon the space under her navel, her hips come up again and I realize that if I want to make it through this in a less messy state I better keep moving.

A soft gentle kiss on the top of her mound. She smells absolutely amazing. I am rethinking the whole not sticking my tongue inside of her now thing because honestly all I want is the taste of her on my lips, and inside of my mouth. However, I am going to be strong…I set out to love every inch of her body and that is exactly what I am going to keep doing.

I keep my eyes on her, I am right there, I kiss the outer area of her left fold and I swear I almost came, in fact I am pretty sure I am dripping now. Another shake of my head to return the focus to her. Slowly I trail open mouth kisses down her inner thigh, calf and back up again. I repeat my movements, this time making sure that my lips bump ever so slightly into her sensitive nerve. I'm kissing her right fold now, this time getting a bit of her wonderful juices on my lips.

I think again about slipping my hand down between my legs to rub tight circles around my own nerve as I continue to kiss her. I am aching so badly now. But, I know I will be done for afterwards, that is just not an option for me right now. Especially when I have other plans as soon as I have finished this around her body trip.

Her hands are tightening on the sheets and there is a puddle between her legs. I know she has already came a few times but she have yet to tell me to stop, so I continue on. Another kiss on her right fold then downward on her inner right thigh, calf and back up again.

I love you, I say it twice, louder than a whisper but soft and gentle before kissing down the entirety of the rest of the skin on both of her legs. I think of kissing my way back up and meeting at her soft lips, but I can't wait that long, I need to feel her against me. I move my body to the side of her now, making sure that my fingers trickle lightly up her skin. I make sure that I graze her skin softly with my fingernails, what I don't leave any marks. She is writhing again, but more than before. I know exactly what she wants, because it is the same thing that I need right now.

I stop everything that I am doing at the moment and ask her to please turn to face me. She does as I ask and I have the biggest smile on my face. I am not always good with my words but there are some things that I really want to say to her right now. For a moment I falter and say nothing.

I move my arms to wrap around her neck and she slowly moves to settle on top of me. I can feel her lower half pressed against mine and I moan her name softly. I tangle my fingers in her silky blonde hair and bring her lips down to meet mine. Our kiss is hungry but gentle, full of want but soft…full of need but with so much love. I pull away first, she takes my breath away. The smile on her face is her silent victory. She can simply dissolve me with a kiss, and she knows it. Another kiss just as amazing as the first, then another, each time I am the one needing air. She goes back in for another but I shake my head with a smile. She looks at me a little confused but its okay, I think I now have the courage that I need to say a few things.

I tell her how much I love her, and how happy she makes me. I tell her how she makes me want to be a better person. I tell her how life before her meant nothing compared to what life means to me now. I explain to her how she helps me cope with a less than perfect past and how I wish to be the person that protects her and makes her feel safe. I tell her how she has shown me what real love feels like and how amazing it is to wake up to her every morning and go to bed with her every night. I tell her how my heart skips beats when she enters the room and how I long to have her close to me again when she is not near.

Tears are shed. It takes me a moment to realize that they are my own. But I am not a crier. Except when it comes to her.

She takes her hands and puts them on my cheeks. She is leaning down now. Her lips are right above mine, but she stops. I know she is about to say something. She has that look on her face.

"I love you too Alex. Now will you make love to me again please?"

Author Notes…

Haven't decided whether to continue this or not.

Please Review