Another Side of Me
A Resident Evil Fan Fiction Original By SilverThorn2000
[You're sitting in front of a black screen. Suddenly, there's a flicker, and the screen comes to life. The picture is very out of focus, but you can vaguely make out the features of a blonde teenage girl.]
Girl: It's working, but you need to focus.
Voice, male: Gimme a moment! I can't do everything at once!
[Another figure moves in front of the camera, and there's a soft whirring noise as the camera is focused. The figure who just moved into focus is a young man, not more than twenty, with dark hair and a black goatee. He's decked out in a white t-shirt and a green vest. If it weren't for the color of the vest, he'd look like a younger version of Barry.]
Boy: There. It's focused. Are you happy?
[The boy moves, and there's the sound of wires being moved around. It's pretty safe to say he's hooking something up.
The sole occupant of the screen is a blonde haired girl. She has soft blue eyes, and her hair is up in a ponytail. She's not exceptionally pretty, but she carries herself with some cofidence. She looks to be about 17 or 18 years old, and wears blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and an oddly familiar pink vest. The boy moves back in front of the camera, and sits in a seperate seat.]
Boy: There, it's ready. Anytime you want to begin, hon, it's all yours.
[The girl turns and nods, then turns back to the camera.]
Girl: All of you know me. You've just not seen me for a while. It's been a long six years since I've been in anyone's sight. My name is Sherry Elizabeth Redfield. But most of you probably remember my last name being Birkin.
Boy: Ah, for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention. [Sherry turns and glares.]
Sherry: Did I ask for your opinion?
Boy: Sorry.
Sherry: I'm aware most of you Resident Evil fans don't like me much-
Boy: That's an understatement.
Sherry: Do you mind?
[The boy holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. Sherry sighs loudly.]
Sherry: Anyways, I'm making this tape so you guys can understand that what happened in the game wasn't what really happened in life, as I know it. For one thing, Chris [She gestures at the boy, who waves non committedly to the camera] wasn't there, and neither was Breaker, and X was never freed...
Chris: You may want to specify what in god's name you're talking about, Sherry Berry.
[Sherry blushes intensely at Chris' pet name, but continues on]
Sherry: Actually, I'd best tell this story from the beginning.
Chris: And I'll fill in little gaps that need to be filled in.
Sherry: Okay, wise guy, sixty-five million years ago, the first man walked the earth.
Chris: And invented the first romance, the first barbecue, and the foist boredom. [To your ears, the end of that scentence sounds quite a bit like Bugs Bunny. Sherry giggles, shakes her head, and looks at Chris with affection.]
Sherry: Jokes aside, I was born on September the Eighteenth, at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Chris: Right as my mom went into labor with me.
Sherry: Ick. Too much info.
Chris: Sorry.
Sherry: I was born to William Jefferson Birkin and Annette Juliet Birkin, in Raccoon City. I only know that much from official records.
Chris: And because the biological connections that allow for memory don't fully develop until you're three.
[Sherry starts glaring at Chris again. Chris shrugs, a pathetic attempt at warding off her wrath]
Chris: What? I learned it in psych class. It's normal human development.
[Sherry picks up a book with a very abstract painting on the cover and a lime green spine. While the title is hard to make out, there's enough seen of the cover to show that it's called Exploring Psychology. She proceeds to smack Chris over the head with it, repeatedly.]
Chris: OW! HEY! CUT IT OUT!
[Sherry finally regains her composure, and sits down. Chris staggers back into view, glasses askew, hair badly mussed, and looking incredibly dazed.]
Sherry: I first really remember the daycares and school from when I was four. I never really spent much time with my parents; I was always traded off between various babysitters until I was ten, and my parents felt they could leave me alone.
Chris: Meanwhile, I went through much the same thing up to that point, and had to struggle to get my parents to leave me home alone.
[Sherry rolls her eyes]
Sherry: Who's this tape about?
Chris: You.
Sherry: Then why do you feel it necessary to keep butting in?
Chris: Because my own story is a major part of yours, love.
[Sherry sighs, mutters an abject "all right." And continues]
Sherry: Ages 11 and 12 were uneventful. I didn't really have any friends, and almost never saw my parents.
Chris: Ages 11 and 12 were some of the rougher ones for me. My parents began drifting apart, and I wound up spending time with my older brother, Breaker.
Sherry: You mean John, right? Why do you keep calling him Breaker?
Chris: Yes, I mean John. The name of Breaker originates from an event involving clean up after Thanksgiving Dinner, a puddle of water on the kitchen floor, and an armload of the fine china that great-grandma Anderson gave my mom. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out exactly what happened.
Sherry: Oh. Wow. Your mom must've been torqued.
Chris: Above and beyond. Anyways, Breaker was training with Raccoon City's finest, and the STARS team in particular.
Sherry: Where you met my Uncle Chris and Aunt Jill.
Chris: Bingo. And Barry, and Rebecca...
[Chris' voice trails off as he turns to something off-camera, before reaching out and pulling a monitor forward softly. He reaches down and picks up a keyboard from the desktop. Sherry continues through all this]
Sherry: I was eight when my parents originally got their jobs at Umbrella. Daddy...He spent most his time out at someplace called the "Spencer Estate". That ought to sound familiar to most of you, right?
[Chris nods, and pulls up a short slideshow of the Spencer Estate]
Chris: As most of you doubtlessly know by now, this wonderful piece of rural property was where the whole Raccoon City nightmare began. Rebecca said something about an incident involving a train prior to the mansion, but I count the Mansion since the train wound up being a bit more of a coincidence.
Sherry: I don't know. Uncle Chris seems to think otherwise, as does Claire, and Leon, and Ada, and Aunt Jill.
Chris: True, but I wasn't there, and all my info comes third or fourth hand, anyways.
[The camera returns to Chris and Sherry. Sherry's leaning back in a large, plush office chair, while Chris is slouched in a small green living room chair, his sneaker-clad feet propped up on the desk.]
Chris: Anyways, to wind up the highlights, Breaker and I got stuck in the Mansion with Chris Redfield, but it more or less followed the game's storyline pretty solidly. Though, admittedly, I wasn't as good with a gun as Breaker was.
[Sherry nods.]
Sherry: Then, one evening a couple months after that, my mom calls and tells me to go to the police station. So, off I go, scant hours before the Takeover.
Chris: Meanwhile, Breaker and I had formed the Star Corps, an anti- Umbrella political unit, and suddenly found ourselves with backing through Interpol of all agencies.
Sherry: How'd you get the SC into what it is nowadays?
Chris: Hush, and I'll explain it when I feel it's time. Anyway, Breaker and I went to Raccoon to get info on Umbrella's latest mutagen, only to get caught in the takeover. Thankfully, we'd packed the Big Guns, just in case.
Sherry: Like your so-called "Lasgun"?
Chris: Well, it was a prototype. They're a lot smaller now.
Sherry: Whatever.
Chris: Breaker and I got mixed up in the game when we jumped from a second story fire escape on an apartment building. Right onto the cop car being used by Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy.
Sherry: Smooth.
Chris: Well, given that it looked like a really poor parody of Beverly Hills Cop, you could say that.
Sherry: No, that would be more along the lines of "Smooth move, knucklehead."
Chris: I love you too.
[Sherry giggles and kisses Chris' cheek.]
Sherry: I wound up pretty much doing the same thing Newt did in the movie Aliens- I hid in the air ducts. You can't blame me, though. I wasn't exactly armed at that point, and I was scared beyond all rational thought. I thought it would be better to hide.
Chris: Meanwhiles, a zombie-driven truck plows into the cop car I'd so unfortunately hitched a ride on, and I found myself eye to eye with Miss Claire Redfield. Breaker, on the other hand, got stuck with Leon. It essentially started with the A Game for Claire and I.
Sherry: I, meanwhile, was pigging out on candy bars from the vending machines in the police station. This lead to a slight dislike of Snickers that I've got these days...
Chris: Yadda yadda, Mr. X careens through a wall, yadda yadda psycho Chief Irons, then the next thing you know, I'm face to face with a beautiful blond haired goddess who's my own twelve years at the time.
Sherry: And I was scared out of my wits and took off, knocking him over.
Chris: She trampled me, and Claire grabbing her wrist didn't help matters much. Not like I minded, though.
Sherry: I had my little scene with Claire like in the game.
Chris: I spent it lying on the floor.
Sherry: When I went to take off, Chris grabbed my ankle. I remember exactly what he said: "If you're going to walk on my back, beautiful, at least try to do it properly."
[Chris' face turns bright red.]
Chris: Well, it was true!
[Sherry hugs him]
Sherry: 'S okay. It's a good memory in my life.
Chris: If you say so...
Sherry: Anyway, most the events of the game was there, if a little more warped than you might remember. Chris and John tend to have that effect on things.
Chris: Well, for one, you were actually armed...
Sherry: Oh, yes. That Rudger Redhawk revolver you gave me. Wonderful little gun. It has a surprising amount of kick to it. I suddenly understood how J felt using the Noisy Cricket during Men in Black.
Chris: And then there were my rather outlandish dives in attempting to help her...
Sherry: With only the sewer floodgate one being successful...
Chris: Yeah...I still think I could've gotten through that hole in the ventilation screen if you'd just held on for a few minutes.
Sherry: Chris, you got stuck. End of story.
Chris: I know, I know.
Sherry: And then there was the fact that somewhere along the lines, we somehow managed to switch tracks from the A scenario to the B scenario...
Chris: I think it's because X did the walk through after Iron's Lair. And that I dove head first into a sewage sluice to catch you.
Sherry: See how far he's willing to go to prove his love, folks? Isn't he wonderful?
[Chris goes from a light tan to beet red in a handful of nanoseconds]
Chris: The biggest difference came when one Mr. X cornered Sherry in the power room.
Sherry: You were in the monitor room, if I recall, when you saw.
Chris: Yeah. Me, and Claire, and your mother. I was just the first one to react. Literally. I grabbed a section of pipe and ran out the door, up a ladder, and into the elevator.
Sherry: Yeah. X got a hardcopy of the security tape. Remember?
Chris: Oh, yeah. Right. He was looking for a fire extinguisher. Hang on, I'll pull it up.
[Once again, the view of Chris and Sherry is minimized to a corner window, whilst grainy security video begins to play. The cameras track a younger Chris who's running through the lab areas of Resident Evil 2 with a pipe in hand. In the background, the song Man in Motion (St. Elmo's Fire) plays, before finally cutting out when Chris arrives in the Power Room and begins to beat Mr. X on the head with the pipe. The tape cuts out, and the normal feed returns.]
Chris: Surprising what a man can do when he's high on adrenaline. Leaping four feet to beat the poor guy on the head.
Sherry: I can't believe he came to his senses. He went from monstrous bloodhound to a fairly nice guy.
Chris: Yeah. Fairly nice, yet always comedic guy.
Sherry: I won't justify that with an answer.
[Chris shrugs. Sherry hugs him]
Sherry: The big difference came in the ending. Claire didn't have to fight the Final Mr. X, like in the game.
Chris: No, but X had to find a fire extinguisher after the generator's power surge knocked him into the smelting pit.
[Once again, there's a flashback video clip:
Chris, Sherry, Claire and X are standing in the power room. Sherry and Claire are hugging, Chris is being a little weepy, and X is looking on in obvious anxiety.
There's a sudden loud popping noise, and a bolt of lightning arcs down the side of the generator.
X: Uh, oh. That doesn't look good.
Sherry: What's going on?
Chris: Looks like a power surge.
Suddenly, the generator surges, sending a stray bolt of electricity into the control panel. The panel explodes, knocking X through the railing. X falls off the platform and out of sight, with a wail similar to the one Goofy always uses when he falls long distances.
Chris: X!
X is heard from off camera. It's faint, and he's obviously shouting upwards.
X: I'm gonna go find a fire extinguisher. Y'all better get to the Launching Platform. I'll catch up.
The feed snaps back to Chris and Sherry.]
Chris: And then, we get to the ending. Breaker managed to somehow get a hold of a camcorder...hang on, lemme switch tapes...
Sherry: I really hated the fact that I got stuck having to stop the train. Do I look like an Engineer? I didn't know what I was doing!
Chris: Then, for the sake of my brother, X, and Leon, it's probably a good thing you found the break button. I don't think they could've played Tarzan of the Train Struts for very long.
Sherry: True. And now, in amazing Breaker Vision, my overly mutated father, and the resulting dialog!
[The screen switches to the interior of the train with a SNAP. The devourer is moving forward.
Leon: What is that??
Breaker: Boy, you ugly.
X (Having just been narrowly missed by a tentacle): It wants the skin off my bones!!
The screen snaps back to Chris and Sherry. Sherry is laughing hard at X's cry, and Chris is obviously holding back his own laughter]
Sherry: Oh, I'd never seen that before...
Chris: Yeah. They kind of prefer that I don't. I'd guess we'd better move on to the next topic...
[Chris reaches down and picks some papers up, and glances through them]
Chris: Ah, current relations with people in your life.
Sherry: Okay...Let's start with my foster mom, Claire Redfield. As you guys can obviously tell, Claire actually adopted me. Though it took her long enough to find Uncle Chris...
Chris: And a side-trip to Antarctica to do so, no less.
[Sherry nods.]
Sherry: I've not seen Leon in a couple of years, but Claire says he's doing okay. After almost five years of separation, I finally found Chris and started dating him officially.
Chris: People keep expecting me to propose to her.
Sherry: Not ready yet?
Chris: Can't find a good ring, actually...
[Sherry turns beet red]
Chris: I think I'd better take this opportunity to discuss what I spent five years off stage doing. I was busy building the Star Corps taskforce into the comedic anti-Umbrella task force it is today.
Sherry: I don't think comedic would be a good term. You guys do act very professional.
Chris: You've been lucky. [Chris punches up a tape, full screen.] The Star Corps begets comedy, which begets pratfalls, [A short scene of X taking a swing at a tiger-man who steps back. X falls to the ground, and the tiger-man laughs] which begets various types of cream pies, [A shot of Breaker and Hunk-minus his normal gasmask- slamming a banana cream pie into Chris' face] which begets chases, [A shot of X and Chris chasing a group of Umbrella scientists around a cafeteria] which begets slapstick. [A final shot, of Chris and X bickering over an Orange Cream yogurt before X slams Chris through the floor. The normal feed returns.]
Sherry: Wow. No other word.
Chris: Anyway, your relations with others?
Sherry: Well, there's Uncle Chris and Aunt Jill, who're getting married next month. I like being around them. They're nice. And then there's Breaker- oh, see, now you've got me doing it!
[Chris just shrugs]
Sherry: Anyways, I like your brother. He's pretty cool.
Chris: That's vaguely disturbing.
Sherry: See what you get?
Chris: Love you too.
[Sherry smiles and kisses his cheek.]
Chris: And then there's all those kids I introduced you to.
Sherry: Yeah. Kristin's pretty cool, a good friend to go and waste an afternoon with. She's really easy to talk to. Then there's Jeff and Chris, who are really funny. And JD...Well, I don't know what to make of him. Speaking of JD, why do you call him 'Boomer'?
[Chris pulls up an older video on his monitor. While the view isn't all that good, it's not hard to make out when everything explodes. Sherry stares at it in shock.]
Sherry: Oh.
Chris: Okay, now the biggest Clichés in your life.
Sherry: Most teens have them. You point out yours, Mr. Secret Ops.
Chris: Let's see...well, I've got two most people will never deal with. The Licker Cliché, and the X Cliché. I'll start with the Licker one. [Another section of clip footage. This one starts out with a shot of a group of role-players. Chris is there, and it's apparently his game.
Chris: A licker drops from the vent!
Matt: Yeah, yeah, I shoot it. Next.
Oasis' "What's The Story (Morning Glory)?" Kicks up, as there are about twenty different shots of lickers dropping out of vents. The various groups go from surprised to completely unimpressed. The final shot is of Breaker, his shotgun shoved down the gullet of a licker, Evil Dead style.
Breaker: Swallow this.
There's a loud boom, and the scene shifts back to Chris and Sherry]
Sherry: That was...interesting. I see your brother still loves his zombie flicks.
Chris: Yeah. Unfortunately. Anywho, the next cliché is the X Cliché. This basically involves X doing one of the things he does best: Careening through walls. He does it a lot.
[Another one of Chris' clip footages. The background music for this set is Chumbawumba's Tub Thumping. It opens simply with Chris, Hunk, and Breaker having surrounded a group of Umbrella scientists.
Chris: We've got you surrounded!
Hunk: And X careens through the wall.
True to cue, X smashes through the wall with no apparent trouble. We shift to another scene.
Chris: X careens through the wall.
Again, X smashes through the wall. And another scene, this one in the boardroom of Umbrella's Headquarters. The CEO and board of directors are sitting in their chairs, looking unimpressed.
Chris: Heeeere's Johnny!
X smashes through the wall, wearing a suit identical to those worn by Johnny Carson years ago. On his head, a turban identical to the one Johnny'd wear when he would perform his psychic act. The scene switches again, this time in corridor. Chris is standing there. X careens through the wall.
Chris: You really need to quit doing that. I'm running out of drywall and plaster to fix it with.
X: I can't have done it that often.
Chris: Forty-seven times, to date.
One final scene. The crew's in a corridor similar to those scenes in the various Alien films. X' attempt to careen through the wall fails, and he leaves a molded dent in the wall.]
Chris: See what I mean?
Sherry: Yeah. Is that dent still there?
Chris: Far as I'm aware. Okay, next topic...."Songs that fit in your life"? What, is this like a personal soundtrack?
Sherry: I guess...Well, I suppose I'm obliged to say that my RE2 theme's in there... Probably Michelle Branch's "Everywhere"... I don't know what else. Some Nine Inch Nails, to be sure...The Fragile, maybe?
Chris: You've been hanging around Claire for too long.
Sherry: I'm not the one who was singing "The Perfect Drug" at the top of his lungs in a sewer, hun. Anyways, I'd probably have Tom Petty's "Climb That Hill" in there, too. What about you?
Chris: Metallica's "Unforgiven" & "Unforgiven II", Killswitch Engage's "My Last Serenade", Lacuna Coil's "Heaven's a Lie", Nine Inch Nail's "The Perfect Drug"-
Sherry: Figures you'd put that in there.
Chris: It's one of my favorites, okay? Anywho, probably D-12's "Fight Music", and Smashing Pumpkin's "Eye".
Sherry: That's frighteningly specific. You've got a lot of heavy tunes.
Chris: I figured I'd be better off stopping there, or I could run the risk of filling the entire tape.
Sherry: I stand rebuked.
Claire, from off-screen: Sherry Elizabeth Redfield! You get down here, now!
Chris: You did tell her we'd be working on this after school, right?
Sherry: Yeah, but I'm here a half hour later than I was supposed to be. Tomorrow?
Chris: But of course.
A Resident Evil Fan Fiction Original By SilverThorn2000
[You're sitting in front of a black screen. Suddenly, there's a flicker, and the screen comes to life. The picture is very out of focus, but you can vaguely make out the features of a blonde teenage girl.]
Girl: It's working, but you need to focus.
Voice, male: Gimme a moment! I can't do everything at once!
[Another figure moves in front of the camera, and there's a soft whirring noise as the camera is focused. The figure who just moved into focus is a young man, not more than twenty, with dark hair and a black goatee. He's decked out in a white t-shirt and a green vest. If it weren't for the color of the vest, he'd look like a younger version of Barry.]
Boy: There. It's focused. Are you happy?
[The boy moves, and there's the sound of wires being moved around. It's pretty safe to say he's hooking something up.
The sole occupant of the screen is a blonde haired girl. She has soft blue eyes, and her hair is up in a ponytail. She's not exceptionally pretty, but she carries herself with some cofidence. She looks to be about 17 or 18 years old, and wears blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and an oddly familiar pink vest. The boy moves back in front of the camera, and sits in a seperate seat.]
Boy: There, it's ready. Anytime you want to begin, hon, it's all yours.
[The girl turns and nods, then turns back to the camera.]
Girl: All of you know me. You've just not seen me for a while. It's been a long six years since I've been in anyone's sight. My name is Sherry Elizabeth Redfield. But most of you probably remember my last name being Birkin.
Boy: Ah, for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention. [Sherry turns and glares.]
Sherry: Did I ask for your opinion?
Boy: Sorry.
Sherry: I'm aware most of you Resident Evil fans don't like me much-
Boy: That's an understatement.
Sherry: Do you mind?
[The boy holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. Sherry sighs loudly.]
Sherry: Anyways, I'm making this tape so you guys can understand that what happened in the game wasn't what really happened in life, as I know it. For one thing, Chris [She gestures at the boy, who waves non committedly to the camera] wasn't there, and neither was Breaker, and X was never freed...
Chris: You may want to specify what in god's name you're talking about, Sherry Berry.
[Sherry blushes intensely at Chris' pet name, but continues on]
Sherry: Actually, I'd best tell this story from the beginning.
Chris: And I'll fill in little gaps that need to be filled in.
Sherry: Okay, wise guy, sixty-five million years ago, the first man walked the earth.
Chris: And invented the first romance, the first barbecue, and the foist boredom. [To your ears, the end of that scentence sounds quite a bit like Bugs Bunny. Sherry giggles, shakes her head, and looks at Chris with affection.]
Sherry: Jokes aside, I was born on September the Eighteenth, at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Chris: Right as my mom went into labor with me.
Sherry: Ick. Too much info.
Chris: Sorry.
Sherry: I was born to William Jefferson Birkin and Annette Juliet Birkin, in Raccoon City. I only know that much from official records.
Chris: And because the biological connections that allow for memory don't fully develop until you're three.
[Sherry starts glaring at Chris again. Chris shrugs, a pathetic attempt at warding off her wrath]
Chris: What? I learned it in psych class. It's normal human development.
[Sherry picks up a book with a very abstract painting on the cover and a lime green spine. While the title is hard to make out, there's enough seen of the cover to show that it's called Exploring Psychology. She proceeds to smack Chris over the head with it, repeatedly.]
Chris: OW! HEY! CUT IT OUT!
[Sherry finally regains her composure, and sits down. Chris staggers back into view, glasses askew, hair badly mussed, and looking incredibly dazed.]
Sherry: I first really remember the daycares and school from when I was four. I never really spent much time with my parents; I was always traded off between various babysitters until I was ten, and my parents felt they could leave me alone.
Chris: Meanwhile, I went through much the same thing up to that point, and had to struggle to get my parents to leave me home alone.
[Sherry rolls her eyes]
Sherry: Who's this tape about?
Chris: You.
Sherry: Then why do you feel it necessary to keep butting in?
Chris: Because my own story is a major part of yours, love.
[Sherry sighs, mutters an abject "all right." And continues]
Sherry: Ages 11 and 12 were uneventful. I didn't really have any friends, and almost never saw my parents.
Chris: Ages 11 and 12 were some of the rougher ones for me. My parents began drifting apart, and I wound up spending time with my older brother, Breaker.
Sherry: You mean John, right? Why do you keep calling him Breaker?
Chris: Yes, I mean John. The name of Breaker originates from an event involving clean up after Thanksgiving Dinner, a puddle of water on the kitchen floor, and an armload of the fine china that great-grandma Anderson gave my mom. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out exactly what happened.
Sherry: Oh. Wow. Your mom must've been torqued.
Chris: Above and beyond. Anyways, Breaker was training with Raccoon City's finest, and the STARS team in particular.
Sherry: Where you met my Uncle Chris and Aunt Jill.
Chris: Bingo. And Barry, and Rebecca...
[Chris' voice trails off as he turns to something off-camera, before reaching out and pulling a monitor forward softly. He reaches down and picks up a keyboard from the desktop. Sherry continues through all this]
Sherry: I was eight when my parents originally got their jobs at Umbrella. Daddy...He spent most his time out at someplace called the "Spencer Estate". That ought to sound familiar to most of you, right?
[Chris nods, and pulls up a short slideshow of the Spencer Estate]
Chris: As most of you doubtlessly know by now, this wonderful piece of rural property was where the whole Raccoon City nightmare began. Rebecca said something about an incident involving a train prior to the mansion, but I count the Mansion since the train wound up being a bit more of a coincidence.
Sherry: I don't know. Uncle Chris seems to think otherwise, as does Claire, and Leon, and Ada, and Aunt Jill.
Chris: True, but I wasn't there, and all my info comes third or fourth hand, anyways.
[The camera returns to Chris and Sherry. Sherry's leaning back in a large, plush office chair, while Chris is slouched in a small green living room chair, his sneaker-clad feet propped up on the desk.]
Chris: Anyways, to wind up the highlights, Breaker and I got stuck in the Mansion with Chris Redfield, but it more or less followed the game's storyline pretty solidly. Though, admittedly, I wasn't as good with a gun as Breaker was.
[Sherry nods.]
Sherry: Then, one evening a couple months after that, my mom calls and tells me to go to the police station. So, off I go, scant hours before the Takeover.
Chris: Meanwhile, Breaker and I had formed the Star Corps, an anti- Umbrella political unit, and suddenly found ourselves with backing through Interpol of all agencies.
Sherry: How'd you get the SC into what it is nowadays?
Chris: Hush, and I'll explain it when I feel it's time. Anyway, Breaker and I went to Raccoon to get info on Umbrella's latest mutagen, only to get caught in the takeover. Thankfully, we'd packed the Big Guns, just in case.
Sherry: Like your so-called "Lasgun"?
Chris: Well, it was a prototype. They're a lot smaller now.
Sherry: Whatever.
Chris: Breaker and I got mixed up in the game when we jumped from a second story fire escape on an apartment building. Right onto the cop car being used by Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy.
Sherry: Smooth.
Chris: Well, given that it looked like a really poor parody of Beverly Hills Cop, you could say that.
Sherry: No, that would be more along the lines of "Smooth move, knucklehead."
Chris: I love you too.
[Sherry giggles and kisses Chris' cheek.]
Sherry: I wound up pretty much doing the same thing Newt did in the movie Aliens- I hid in the air ducts. You can't blame me, though. I wasn't exactly armed at that point, and I was scared beyond all rational thought. I thought it would be better to hide.
Chris: Meanwhiles, a zombie-driven truck plows into the cop car I'd so unfortunately hitched a ride on, and I found myself eye to eye with Miss Claire Redfield. Breaker, on the other hand, got stuck with Leon. It essentially started with the A Game for Claire and I.
Sherry: I, meanwhile, was pigging out on candy bars from the vending machines in the police station. This lead to a slight dislike of Snickers that I've got these days...
Chris: Yadda yadda, Mr. X careens through a wall, yadda yadda psycho Chief Irons, then the next thing you know, I'm face to face with a beautiful blond haired goddess who's my own twelve years at the time.
Sherry: And I was scared out of my wits and took off, knocking him over.
Chris: She trampled me, and Claire grabbing her wrist didn't help matters much. Not like I minded, though.
Sherry: I had my little scene with Claire like in the game.
Chris: I spent it lying on the floor.
Sherry: When I went to take off, Chris grabbed my ankle. I remember exactly what he said: "If you're going to walk on my back, beautiful, at least try to do it properly."
[Chris' face turns bright red.]
Chris: Well, it was true!
[Sherry hugs him]
Sherry: 'S okay. It's a good memory in my life.
Chris: If you say so...
Sherry: Anyway, most the events of the game was there, if a little more warped than you might remember. Chris and John tend to have that effect on things.
Chris: Well, for one, you were actually armed...
Sherry: Oh, yes. That Rudger Redhawk revolver you gave me. Wonderful little gun. It has a surprising amount of kick to it. I suddenly understood how J felt using the Noisy Cricket during Men in Black.
Chris: And then there were my rather outlandish dives in attempting to help her...
Sherry: With only the sewer floodgate one being successful...
Chris: Yeah...I still think I could've gotten through that hole in the ventilation screen if you'd just held on for a few minutes.
Sherry: Chris, you got stuck. End of story.
Chris: I know, I know.
Sherry: And then there was the fact that somewhere along the lines, we somehow managed to switch tracks from the A scenario to the B scenario...
Chris: I think it's because X did the walk through after Iron's Lair. And that I dove head first into a sewage sluice to catch you.
Sherry: See how far he's willing to go to prove his love, folks? Isn't he wonderful?
[Chris goes from a light tan to beet red in a handful of nanoseconds]
Chris: The biggest difference came when one Mr. X cornered Sherry in the power room.
Sherry: You were in the monitor room, if I recall, when you saw.
Chris: Yeah. Me, and Claire, and your mother. I was just the first one to react. Literally. I grabbed a section of pipe and ran out the door, up a ladder, and into the elevator.
Sherry: Yeah. X got a hardcopy of the security tape. Remember?
Chris: Oh, yeah. Right. He was looking for a fire extinguisher. Hang on, I'll pull it up.
[Once again, the view of Chris and Sherry is minimized to a corner window, whilst grainy security video begins to play. The cameras track a younger Chris who's running through the lab areas of Resident Evil 2 with a pipe in hand. In the background, the song Man in Motion (St. Elmo's Fire) plays, before finally cutting out when Chris arrives in the Power Room and begins to beat Mr. X on the head with the pipe. The tape cuts out, and the normal feed returns.]
Chris: Surprising what a man can do when he's high on adrenaline. Leaping four feet to beat the poor guy on the head.
Sherry: I can't believe he came to his senses. He went from monstrous bloodhound to a fairly nice guy.
Chris: Yeah. Fairly nice, yet always comedic guy.
Sherry: I won't justify that with an answer.
[Chris shrugs. Sherry hugs him]
Sherry: The big difference came in the ending. Claire didn't have to fight the Final Mr. X, like in the game.
Chris: No, but X had to find a fire extinguisher after the generator's power surge knocked him into the smelting pit.
[Once again, there's a flashback video clip:
Chris, Sherry, Claire and X are standing in the power room. Sherry and Claire are hugging, Chris is being a little weepy, and X is looking on in obvious anxiety.
There's a sudden loud popping noise, and a bolt of lightning arcs down the side of the generator.
X: Uh, oh. That doesn't look good.
Sherry: What's going on?
Chris: Looks like a power surge.
Suddenly, the generator surges, sending a stray bolt of electricity into the control panel. The panel explodes, knocking X through the railing. X falls off the platform and out of sight, with a wail similar to the one Goofy always uses when he falls long distances.
Chris: X!
X is heard from off camera. It's faint, and he's obviously shouting upwards.
X: I'm gonna go find a fire extinguisher. Y'all better get to the Launching Platform. I'll catch up.
The feed snaps back to Chris and Sherry.]
Chris: And then, we get to the ending. Breaker managed to somehow get a hold of a camcorder...hang on, lemme switch tapes...
Sherry: I really hated the fact that I got stuck having to stop the train. Do I look like an Engineer? I didn't know what I was doing!
Chris: Then, for the sake of my brother, X, and Leon, it's probably a good thing you found the break button. I don't think they could've played Tarzan of the Train Struts for very long.
Sherry: True. And now, in amazing Breaker Vision, my overly mutated father, and the resulting dialog!
[The screen switches to the interior of the train with a SNAP. The devourer is moving forward.
Leon: What is that??
Breaker: Boy, you ugly.
X (Having just been narrowly missed by a tentacle): It wants the skin off my bones!!
The screen snaps back to Chris and Sherry. Sherry is laughing hard at X's cry, and Chris is obviously holding back his own laughter]
Sherry: Oh, I'd never seen that before...
Chris: Yeah. They kind of prefer that I don't. I'd guess we'd better move on to the next topic...
[Chris reaches down and picks some papers up, and glances through them]
Chris: Ah, current relations with people in your life.
Sherry: Okay...Let's start with my foster mom, Claire Redfield. As you guys can obviously tell, Claire actually adopted me. Though it took her long enough to find Uncle Chris...
Chris: And a side-trip to Antarctica to do so, no less.
[Sherry nods.]
Sherry: I've not seen Leon in a couple of years, but Claire says he's doing okay. After almost five years of separation, I finally found Chris and started dating him officially.
Chris: People keep expecting me to propose to her.
Sherry: Not ready yet?
Chris: Can't find a good ring, actually...
[Sherry turns beet red]
Chris: I think I'd better take this opportunity to discuss what I spent five years off stage doing. I was busy building the Star Corps taskforce into the comedic anti-Umbrella task force it is today.
Sherry: I don't think comedic would be a good term. You guys do act very professional.
Chris: You've been lucky. [Chris punches up a tape, full screen.] The Star Corps begets comedy, which begets pratfalls, [A short scene of X taking a swing at a tiger-man who steps back. X falls to the ground, and the tiger-man laughs] which begets various types of cream pies, [A shot of Breaker and Hunk-minus his normal gasmask- slamming a banana cream pie into Chris' face] which begets chases, [A shot of X and Chris chasing a group of Umbrella scientists around a cafeteria] which begets slapstick. [A final shot, of Chris and X bickering over an Orange Cream yogurt before X slams Chris through the floor. The normal feed returns.]
Sherry: Wow. No other word.
Chris: Anyway, your relations with others?
Sherry: Well, there's Uncle Chris and Aunt Jill, who're getting married next month. I like being around them. They're nice. And then there's Breaker- oh, see, now you've got me doing it!
[Chris just shrugs]
Sherry: Anyways, I like your brother. He's pretty cool.
Chris: That's vaguely disturbing.
Sherry: See what you get?
Chris: Love you too.
[Sherry smiles and kisses his cheek.]
Chris: And then there's all those kids I introduced you to.
Sherry: Yeah. Kristin's pretty cool, a good friend to go and waste an afternoon with. She's really easy to talk to. Then there's Jeff and Chris, who are really funny. And JD...Well, I don't know what to make of him. Speaking of JD, why do you call him 'Boomer'?
[Chris pulls up an older video on his monitor. While the view isn't all that good, it's not hard to make out when everything explodes. Sherry stares at it in shock.]
Sherry: Oh.
Chris: Okay, now the biggest Clichés in your life.
Sherry: Most teens have them. You point out yours, Mr. Secret Ops.
Chris: Let's see...well, I've got two most people will never deal with. The Licker Cliché, and the X Cliché. I'll start with the Licker one. [Another section of clip footage. This one starts out with a shot of a group of role-players. Chris is there, and it's apparently his game.
Chris: A licker drops from the vent!
Matt: Yeah, yeah, I shoot it. Next.
Oasis' "What's The Story (Morning Glory)?" Kicks up, as there are about twenty different shots of lickers dropping out of vents. The various groups go from surprised to completely unimpressed. The final shot is of Breaker, his shotgun shoved down the gullet of a licker, Evil Dead style.
Breaker: Swallow this.
There's a loud boom, and the scene shifts back to Chris and Sherry]
Sherry: That was...interesting. I see your brother still loves his zombie flicks.
Chris: Yeah. Unfortunately. Anywho, the next cliché is the X Cliché. This basically involves X doing one of the things he does best: Careening through walls. He does it a lot.
[Another one of Chris' clip footages. The background music for this set is Chumbawumba's Tub Thumping. It opens simply with Chris, Hunk, and Breaker having surrounded a group of Umbrella scientists.
Chris: We've got you surrounded!
Hunk: And X careens through the wall.
True to cue, X smashes through the wall with no apparent trouble. We shift to another scene.
Chris: X careens through the wall.
Again, X smashes through the wall. And another scene, this one in the boardroom of Umbrella's Headquarters. The CEO and board of directors are sitting in their chairs, looking unimpressed.
Chris: Heeeere's Johnny!
X smashes through the wall, wearing a suit identical to those worn by Johnny Carson years ago. On his head, a turban identical to the one Johnny'd wear when he would perform his psychic act. The scene switches again, this time in corridor. Chris is standing there. X careens through the wall.
Chris: You really need to quit doing that. I'm running out of drywall and plaster to fix it with.
X: I can't have done it that often.
Chris: Forty-seven times, to date.
One final scene. The crew's in a corridor similar to those scenes in the various Alien films. X' attempt to careen through the wall fails, and he leaves a molded dent in the wall.]
Chris: See what I mean?
Sherry: Yeah. Is that dent still there?
Chris: Far as I'm aware. Okay, next topic...."Songs that fit in your life"? What, is this like a personal soundtrack?
Sherry: I guess...Well, I suppose I'm obliged to say that my RE2 theme's in there... Probably Michelle Branch's "Everywhere"... I don't know what else. Some Nine Inch Nails, to be sure...The Fragile, maybe?
Chris: You've been hanging around Claire for too long.
Sherry: I'm not the one who was singing "The Perfect Drug" at the top of his lungs in a sewer, hun. Anyways, I'd probably have Tom Petty's "Climb That Hill" in there, too. What about you?
Chris: Metallica's "Unforgiven" & "Unforgiven II", Killswitch Engage's "My Last Serenade", Lacuna Coil's "Heaven's a Lie", Nine Inch Nail's "The Perfect Drug"-
Sherry: Figures you'd put that in there.
Chris: It's one of my favorites, okay? Anywho, probably D-12's "Fight Music", and Smashing Pumpkin's "Eye".
Sherry: That's frighteningly specific. You've got a lot of heavy tunes.
Chris: I figured I'd be better off stopping there, or I could run the risk of filling the entire tape.
Sherry: I stand rebuked.
Claire, from off-screen: Sherry Elizabeth Redfield! You get down here, now!
Chris: You did tell her we'd be working on this after school, right?
Sherry: Yeah, but I'm here a half hour later than I was supposed to be. Tomorrow?
Chris: But of course.
