I am Murdoc Niccals.

2D is in the bathroom. Having just finished having a shower. The Keyboardist is standing in front of the sink, brushing his teeth and looking at his reflection in the mirror. Quite bored, he tilts his head to one side and thinks a moment. Then smiling takes the brush from his mouth.

"Allo me." he beams, toothpaste dripping from his mouth. He rinses and grabbing his towel, wipes his face. Then looks once again at his reflection, grinning and checking his teeth. He picks up his hair brush and starts roughly brushing his hair. Then suddenly being struck by an odd thought. Stops and quickly looks around the room. He sneaks to the door and locks it, then walks quickly back to the mirror. Running the water and wetting down his hair. He styles it like Murdocs and grabbing his towel, drapes it around his shoulders and ties it around his neck like a cape. Looking back in the mirror, he grins at his reflection, in the same way he has seen Murdoc do it, many times before. Then clearing his throat and adopting a raspy, drunken drawl talks to the mirror as if it is an audience.

"Good evening folks. A,Allow me to introduce myself. I. Am Murdoc Niccals. Bass player not so extraordinaire, but most definitely in perfect denial of the fact. Oh and a very smelly man." he waves his hand flamboyantly and smiling at his small joke, bows low and continues. Feeling much more confident. "I. Am the creator of Gorillaz. Of course I also believe I am the be all and end all of them. Mind you, I am very delu, delushun, delusional. Possibly due to the smell. I'm not rrrrreally sure?" This makes 2d laugh loudly. He covers his mouth and holding onto the bench top, tries to regain his composure. He finally stops and clearing his throat again continues.

"I think I am a real ladies man. In truth, I am just a transvestite. I quite possibly am in denial of that as well? But I ain't sayin'." he winks at the mirror and now brimming with confidence walks back and forth, checking out how he looks. "In addition. I also think I am a real good dancer. Allow me to demonstrate my devastating moves to you all. Of course there really is just the one move. I just like doin' it a lot. Here we go." 2D begins, closing his eyes and mimicking Murdocs pelvic thrust. Moving around in a small circle.

"Oh yeah. I am Murdoc Niccals. Watch me dance. Watch me thrust my old man hips at you. It's all I can do to keep arthritis at bay. Yeah. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" he grunts. Finally back round to the front, he opens his eyes again and looks back at his reflection. To his horror he spots two odd glimmering eyes, just over his right shoulder. He gulps as he realizes he is staring directly at a violently furious Murdoc.

Unfortunately for the Keyboardist. As he was washing his hair, Murdoc had walked in and had been sitting in one of the toilets reading a pornographic magazine. Having heard quite enough as far as he was concerned, he has now come out to make sure 2D knew exactly what he thought about it. 2D spins rapidly and smiles nervously at the Bassist, who is standing there, quite still, arms folded, tapping his foot. The young man pulls the towel from about his neck and swallows hard.

"Ohhh. Umm. Hi ahh. Muds. Sir. Boss. Heh, heh. Ahhh. Umm. Wow! This new batch of my pills haven't half affected me funny. Phew! I ahhh. Hope I don't do anyfink to like embarrass meself or nufink. Ha, ha. Gulp!" he lies, trying to worm his way out of a beating. Murdoc just continues to silently stare. 2D knows his lie isn't working and slowly backs towards the door. Quite forgetting it is locked. He fumbles with the handle confused as to why the door won't open. Murdoc drops his chin, unfolds his arms and slowly approaches the young man. His odd eyes barely visible under his fringe, shine out like beacons.

"Oh really." the Bassist finally hisses, as he reaches his hand out to the youth. 2D suddenly realizes the door is locked and just manages to get it unlocked, as the Bassist grabs him by the back of the neck. He grips the door handle tightly and tries to hang on. But Murdoc wrenches him free and begins to drag him backwards to the toilets.

"Ahhh! No! Really! I didn't mean it Muds. I was under the influence of forces that woz beyond my control." the young man yelps, clutching madly at the sink and trying to prevent himself from being dragged further. But Murdoc tugs him lose again, and just keeps dragging him. The young mans feet slipping on the wet bathroom floor. Arms and legs flailing madly about, looking for anything to stop himself from being taken any further.

"Yeah. And now you are under the influence of me. You know? Yers truly. The REAL Murdoc Niccals. But THIS one ain't too happy." the Bassist sneers and slams open one of the doors. He swings the youth around to face the toilet and gripping him tightly by the shoulders, leans down and hisses into the young mans ear. "Allow me to introduce you to the toilet bowl?"

"I'd prefer if ya didn't. I've seen it and it's crap." the youth smiles, still in his Murdoc voice. Hoping to make the old man giggle. Oddly the old man does laugh, and 2D breathes a sigh of relief.

"Ya know?" Murdoc chuckles. "It's funny you said that." he continues and his smile dropping to a ferocious scowl, he shoves 2D forwards and slams the door behind them.

Outside in the corridor. Russel is just leaving his room, when he hears 2Ds blood curdling scream. He shudders and looks at the bathroom door.

"Damn! I swear 2D. You jus' gotta cut back on sum of dat fiber?" he mutters and shuddering walks quickly down the corridor to the lobby.