Farewell by Rihanna

Dead Man Walking The script

Brutal Love Green Day

Here it is part one ;) hope you will like. Thanks so much for all your guys support on my other Rebekol one the Heart Wants What it Wants. I hope you will learn to love this one too. It set on the night that Esther Returns but for most of the story it will be from Rebekah memory as she relives her past and all the mistakes Kol and her made over the years. Words getting lost and secrets keeping them apart.

"Rebekah opens the Damn Door Now Dont let Klaus do this to You Again Its all lies you are ..."

Kol words were cut off to me I couldn't process anything but the pain. The Pain of the past and of the future that I never would be able to have. It was my entire fault I had given up my one chance of a family all those years ago and now I would always have to pay the price.

We had just been downstairs in the drawing room our mother just walking back in to our life's once again. I had only got Finn and Kol back and now we had our mother our family was whole again.

Klaus was still brooding in the corner listing to our conversation. It was about 3 in the morning, Esther and Elijah had retreated to sleep and we were conversing on what we wanted to do with our lives. Now that we had a second chance.

Kol was still fuming with Klaus about being daggered in the back but he was trying for my sake to not make a fight. I could tell he wanted to catch up on all he missed and just have fun . Finn was Finn always saying he would stay by mother's side helping her in whatever cause she planned next.

Then it was my turn trying to bring my trembling hands under control I got my courage and I admitted what I wanted

"I'd like to go back to university maybe take a course in English literature"

I had never been able to chose something I wanted over the 1000 thousand years id been running with Klaus from Mikel.

We were always picking up and leaving I knew why we had to but now he was dead there was no reason to live in fear anymore. Finn thought this was a respectable choice and would be good for me ,Kol trying to hide his amusement at the mundaness of it all said

"whatever you want sister I will be happy for you but try to have some fun too ,there are lots of campus parties don't study to hard all the time . "

I flashed him a go fuck yourself wink while he chuckled over his whiskey trying to feign his hurt at that action. I hesitantly leaned over the sofa staring at Klaus waiting to hear his view on my proposal. He was staring at me intently

"Clearly you been drinking too much Bekah if you think you have a shot with this stupid Idea."

"What will you do next get married pop out a few kids , your life becoming the odd food shopping trips or coffee with the mum "

"Grow up your vampire for god sake and you will never have that simple life you crave with the family and the baby that is yours that you will hold in your arms."

"Go screw yourself Klaus you claim to love us but you can't even support me when I have sacrificed every opportunity I craved just so I could be by your side as we kept on trying to evade Father . "

I rushed off the sofa I wouldn't let Klaus see the tears that were falling from my cheeks.

I heard Kol raise to start to follow me but then his progress was halted by Klaus baiting him

"Really you going to continue to follow her around like some lost puppy still after all this time she never needed you back then and she won't now."

"To her you are just the womanising brother who offers her nothing but a chance to be immature with "

There was a scuffle of some sort as it sounded like Kol managed to pin Klaus against the wall and was holding him by his throat

"Say what you want Nik you know nothing about how I care about our family and Rebekah so if you hurt her again I might just rip your heart out,"

Klaus was snarling now trying to battle out of his grip

"Not so strong are you brother without the dagger in your hand ready to stab me in the back again " Kol hissing in Klaus face now .

Kol threw Klaus to the ground the marble making a horrible echo as he was shoved upon it. Kol exited the room his warning clearly received but still Nik couldn't help bait him further.

"you will pay for this Kol mark my words you be in that box sooner than you think again but enjoy the fresh air while you can " but Kol didn't give him another second of his time .

I could hear Kol running through the hallways searching for me but I just couldn't face him rushing to the stairs I used my vampire speed to climb them.

Finally I reached the bathroom as I slammed the lock in place and set myself over the sink bringing my gaze to face my tear stained broken expression in the mirror.

Now here was Kol trying to make me open the door but I was lost ...lost in the past reliving a secret that no one ever knew that I had never shared with anyone ever. I gave birth to a beautiful perfect baby; I had a chance at the happy ending with the man I loved but that man was my brother Kol.

But he never knew that I once held our baby in my arms or that I was too young and scared to ever tell him I was carrying his child. My mind wondered back to the moment it all started where my life changed forever.

It was the night of the summer dance ,I had just turned 18 a month ago and my parents were trying to find me a suitor so I could be wed and stop being another mouth to feed for my father .

The whole town was in attendance , I was being escorted by a farmer's son called David . He was sweet funny and very handsome but something felt wrong in my heart.

I couldn't put my finger on it but ...

The music started to play the harps began to start a slow tune James let me settle my head to rest on his shoulder as we held on to each other slowly but something else was effecting my body not James making my body shake and tremble.

My eyes were locked with Kol as he danced with my friend Madeline. Our gaze never broke from one another Kol staring at me intently he seemed to wonder why I was so on Edge. His eyes were so beautiful and they always seemed like embers in a fire warm rich in colour and mesmerizing.

That's when it hit me like a dagger to the heart. I was in Love with Kol how could this be my brain screamed in protest but I knew without a shadow of a doubt and I had been avoiding this truth being too terrified to face it.

It only took me seeing him with someone else to make me see I wanted him... My body collapsed under the weight of this reveal I stumbled in to James. He stopped, holding me tight till my feet steadied.

Before I even let him get a word out I pulled myself away managing to gasp "I'm feeling unwell I need some fresh air please don't let me ruin your night. IL Be back later " as I caught my dress between my fingers lifting it slightly so as not to trip over the hem as I fled from the dance and away from my family .

So I ran and ran as far as my feet could carry me before My unsteady feet gave way and I feel to the floor .Holding my head in my hands till my thumping heartbeat slowed a little and my breaths became more settled .

Finally after a few moments I brought my head up to observe my surroundings. I was by the stream deep in the forest the place where I always felt most safe there was a field of flowers to the side where I would come to gather them to bring back to decorate the house.

God how could I go back home face my family and Kol now I felt the bile rise up in my throat. For all our life's Kol and I had been close. He was my best friend and I always felt different around him then my other brothers ,but I never truly understood why I buried all the creeping fears down till I even fooled myself it seems .

Perhaps if I got Married to David and we moved away to a nearby Village I could survive with this, it wouldn't hurt me as long as I didn't have to face Kol every day .I just couldn't live with this longing and have to be around him each day .The thought of him finding out how I felt and him not feeling the same would destroy me.

Then I heard some scuffling behind me ,grabbing a rock in my hand in case I was in danger , I turned round ready to face this person who had avoided me in my confessional break down.

"Kol" I gasped in horror that he was the one who had followed me . This was the last thing I needed fate was truly cruel as I dropped the rock to thud beside my feet.

Kol just came beside me catching me in his grasp running his palms over my arms as he tilted my face examining me checking for signs of illness I didn't have. He placed his fingertips over my forehead checking me for a temperature . His eyes were filled with worry at my reaction my breaths were coming out in small hitches unable to catch a breath.

"Sister what's wrong breathe you don't have a fever, but you are flushed and can't stop shaking. " Kol laid his forehead over mine watching me struggle to control my breathless pants.

All I could feel was his body against mine holding me close to him and it tore me inside this was wrong I shouldn't feel this way.

"Rebekah its ok "he said cupping my face between his fingers

"Look at me I'm a master in Breathing just follow me maybe you are having some reaction to some food for the feast."

"Let's go home sister I will take care of you I always have I always will "

I was drowning in my emotions I was falling so deep and this was torture with one revelation my whole world was changing. I just needed to know one thing the one thing that was giving me a shred of hope that maybe Kol felt something more for me then just our family bond.

Taking Kol by surprise I managed to throw him back off me giving me some space as I wrapped my arms around my side turning my back from him struggling to find the courage to say this

. "Kol ... Why were you ... Staring at... me at the dance ... watching me for every moment... Please ... I... just need to ask you this and... Please ... Kol ... why?

Before I had time to catch another breath Kol was crushing his body to wrap around mine from behind catching me in a hug his arms cradling around my waist.

"Rebekah why are you asking me this ... I watch out for you always I just want you to be happy and have the life you deserve you always watching out for all of us and its time someone makes sure you are appreciated. "

Kol's breaths caressing my ears as his whispers.

Twisting round so his face met mine I brought my eyes to linger over his but there was more he was nervous there was something else he was hiding from me

"Kol do you want to know why I left in such a rush, it's as I realised something and it ...terrifies me ".

"Wherever life takes me I just want you to know that I love you too and I want you to be happy and have the love you act like you not worthy of . "

"You are worthy Kol even when you act like you don't need anything but entertainment to be happy in this world."

"I just wanted you to know that "I uttered as I brought my palm to brush against his cheek.

Laying my head over his troubled heartbeat I just sighed breathing him wishing so hard that he wasn't my brother and that I was holding him as a lover as he began to run his fingers though my hair till my breathing stilled to normal .

After what felt like an eternity Kol finally broke the silence

"We should get back they will start to worry about us soon but you are too kind to worry about my happiness sister."

"I don't deserve happiness. I was hopeful for a moment that you meant something else with your words but..."

"What do you mean" my head darting up begging him to continue with his sentence. "

"please Rebekah I don't want to say anything more, it's safer this way I just hoped you might of finally realised something and perhaps felt the same but doesn't matter, please you are exhausted don't worry about it ."

"Tonight will soon be a memory, and ...

Kol fingers came to rest over my lips silencing my attempt to speak

" soon you will have a wonderful husband and a family of your own and you will no longer need your cryptic and playful brother by your side watching out for you "

A single tear fell over my face Kol leaning in to brush it away with his fingertip as he battled with the emotions that were troubling him. Finally he couldn't hold back what was affecting his mind and he just gave in admitting defeat.

"It just sister sometimes I pray we were not brought in to this life as family but that you were someone I could take care of more and I know this is wrong but I just ..."

Before I even realised it my lips were upon Kol kissing away the fear .Kol eyes were in shock he was speechless for the first time in his life he kept on watching me like this was all a dream he was creating. Finally I gave him the evidence he needed to prove this wasn't all on him.

"Kol you were right tonight I finally realised I craved you more then I should and that you were the only person I wanted to be dancing with. "

Intertwining my fingers with Kol's I leant up brushing my lips over his my tongue tracing their outline. They were perfect soft and so full and they felt like they were made for mine. Kol moaned now as he gripped my waist pulling me tight to him as our kiss deepened his tongue joining with mine tangling to lay with mine. When it became too intense for us both to stand we settled on the grass Kol laying over me the noise of the river giving way to our moans as we finally joined our bodies together Kol kissing me slowly taking me through my first time as he whispered he loved me and always would .

I never wanted this moment to end my head was over his heart his hands trailing over my arms as he kissed the top of my head gently as we watched the stars till the night gave way to a new day .

From then on everything changed. Mine and Kol's life became stolen moments every moment in life was leading to the next time we could sneak out and be together. I was hopelessly in love I needed Kol with an intensity that had not dimmed.

But I had withdrawn myself from life never spending time with my friends or with David when he had called. All I craved was Kol's. I knew it was unhealthy but he was all I needed by my side now.

I knew that Kol loved me through everything but we were too scared to talk about the future the fear that this would one day soon be over and we would have to go back to the way it was before. We just lived in our ignorance neither wanting to risk it with questions and what ifs.

Two months later everything shifted from under my feet. MY Monthly cycle was late. Mother had explained to me enough what that meant I was carrying a child .Mine and Kol child. I was terrified the reckless love we had given in to many times was threatening our whole world.

MY family how would they live with the shame if I brought a Child in to this world as an unmarried women. I couldn't let Kol risk everything for me and the baby if he didn't want to be by my side for the rest of our life. Our father would most likely beat Kol to a bloody pulp before killing him if they ever found out he was the father of my baby and the man I loved and probably would all my life .

My world was crashing around me there was no way out for me they only way was that I could leave. It would kill me not being able to say goodbye especially to Kol but this was my only chance to get away before my family stopped me.

MY brothers and fathers were out in the fields and my mother had done to the river to soak our clothes. Grabbing a trunk I stuffed a few robes ,some money I had been saving for Kol birthday gift and my favourite drawing that Nik had done of me sitting on a log Kol to my side helping bandage my leg that I had cut on a sharp stone . .

Choking back the tears I quickly wrote my letter to my family explaining I was lonely here I was 18, and I wanted to travel a new community. That I loved them all and I would be back in some months. Taking one last look I shut the door on the only home I had ever known and trailed my trunk behind me through the forest avoiding the town so no one would see me leave.

After hitching a ride on a cart that I met on the forest trail, with an old man as my only companion we rode in to a new village. The others we had passed had all been small and I was fearful that someone might now my parents at least by their trade.

MY mum had a large pharmacy and people travelled far to buy relief for their loved ones. This landscape was mainly fields but with a sizable town and an inn. Finally I found what I had been searching for a Pharmacy over the years I had learnt enough about medicine from my mother and regularly helped her in the shop.

Crossing my fingers I prayed to god that he would be kind and there would be some position. The shop was run by an old man who for a better guess must have been in his 50.

Deciding that honesty about my pregnancy was the best path for the most past I said I had come searching for new work and explained the skills I had in the trade . I claimed to have been engaged to a young man who had lost his life in an accident at a mill and that I had found out I was with child.

The man pondered for a few moments before he finally uttered that the job was mine if I wanted he could do with some extra help around the place since his wife had passed away and there was a bed where I could sleep. AS long as I didn't mind working though my pregnancy he would have no issues.

So this became my new life, I continued to grow feeling the life Kol and I had made inside my stomach as my body changed completely. For the first few months I was plagued with morning sickness but soon it subsided.

In the days it was fine the guy name who was Henry took me under his wing and treated me like the daughter he never had. He and his wife had never been able to have kids sadly. After work we would eat and he would read me fantastical stories of all genres and that was when my love of English literature began. For those moments I could forget everything and live those characters never knowing where the story would end but enjoying the ride.

However the nights were torture I cried myself to sleep every night wishing I could just hold Kol again that ,I could see his smile or just laugh with him again . He was so much more than my brother he was the man I loved and my best friend. However much I missed him I couldn't let him give up everything and risk his life for our baby.

A few times I thought about sending a letter back explaining myself to my family and how life was progressing but it was too hard it was easier to act like this was all a dream and it soon is over. Perhaps this way was easier Kol would forget me see me a infatuation and meet someone else that he could settle down with and have the life I wanted him to have.

So the months ticked by this small existence carrying on but then in April I collapsed on the floor sharp pains attacking my body . It was time my baby was coming I was terrified thank god for Henry he called the doctor who rushed me to the back and prepared me for labour.

The pain was agonizing tearing me apart. I kept on Pushing like the doctor said but It was so exhausting. All I wished in this moment was that Kol was hugging me from behind holding my hands and just telling me it would be ok. I wasn't so scared anymore with that thought it was almost over with one final push I brought our baby in to this world the strong cries ringing out filling the room. . Henry was wiping my brow from the sweat with a cloth smiling at me his tears reflecting on the surface as the doctor cleaned the baby.

Finally the doctor came round wishing me congratulations saying I had a strong healthy very beautiful baby boy. Cradling him to my side I stared in to his eyes that were the shame shade as mine but he had Kol dark hair and elf like features even Kol's chin. He was perfect his little fingers went to wrap around mine as he just watched me back gargling a small smile breaking over his face. Tears were streaming down my face falling over his small patch of hair.

Never had I felt this much love for a person since Kol But this baby he was all I wanted to protect I needed him to have a chance at a life with both a mother and father who would have no risk In having him in their life .

The doctor soon departed as Henry took my baby to the cradle bringing it to rest by my side as my body gave in to sleep the last sound was my son laughing as Henry played with him . The cries woke me from my slumber I bent down cradling him as he drank from my breast till he calmed. Henry came over to me as we sat over the table.

"So this is really goodbye isn't it I will be so sad to see you go you were the child I never had with my darling Mary "

Henry voice began to crack slightly. We had discussed this in length my plan now. There was a local family in town that were unable to have children .They had a good stable home and were clearly in Love. In the morning I would hand over my baby saying goodbye to it forever and to Henry.

IT was finally time to return home to my family and to Kol I was no longer that naive young girl anymore. Henry broke my thoughts "saying you had your husband by your side what would you of named him."

Without a second of hesitation I said "James "It was a name Kol had always wanted to be called he thought it sounded powerful regal and a name that was meant for things. It was the name he would of chosen for himself or his first son he once confessed to me as we laid in bed the sheets wrapped under us as we held on to each other . Henry seeing I was ready to say my goodbye to the baby kissed my forehead gently leaving me alone.

Placing him back in his crib I said my piece "well this is it James I know you will never remember this ever but I loved you so much it breaks my heart in a million pieces to have to walk out of your life ..."

"But your father who would just be holding you on his knee right now making silly faces to make you laugh would have loved you so much too."

"Sadly that life wasn't meant for us and it can never be . I already have to lose you I can't go back to him and let things be the same way or have another baby; we will always have this obstacle this deadly risk."

"All I can hope is that he will find happiness and perhaps if fate is kind I can't meet a guy as special as Kol who I can love one day"

. James was asleep now one of his hands resting beside his chin . Bending down to kiss him goodbye I breathed in his smell hoping I would never forget this moment as long as I lived.

My bags were packed and Henry and I arrived at the family bakery shop. They invited us up stairs where they took us around their house showing us James room. It was everything I wanted for him he would be safe here . So the time came to hug my baby one final time.

IT felt like my heart cracked when I handed him over to the mother her name was Anna .

"Please take care of my baby "

I gasped out now choking my tears trying to be strong please

Take care of my James I know you might want to call him something else but he will always be my James. "

Anna smiled sweetly at me she took my hand in her

"James is a perfect Name for this little bundle here it shall stay this way it will be like your gift to him . "

"We can never repay you for the child you gave us so from the bottom of our hearts we wish you all the best. "

Smiling my goodbye I turned my back on James, Henry arms around my shoulders carrying me to the cart as silent tears rocked my body. For two days Henry rode with me till I finally arrived back in Mystic Falls. Crying hard as he hugged me goodbye. I said goodbye to the last nine months of my life and the man who had helped me more then I could even repay. Now it was time to go home to my family. Grappling with the handle I opened the door preparing myself for what was about to come .