Hm, couldn't resist a look between the lines of Chuck episode 14. I always have to have some kind of written version to placate and indulge my annoying overanalysing habit :D

Might be a bit scattered as it's not in specific point of views, just written version of those events that particularly interest me. I figure it's the only way to get over my writers block, so try to enjoy the unedited, my jumbled thought process as much as you can! Dialogue may be inaccurate and parts may be missing.

Disclaimer: I'm available for hire. I'm bankrupt and my parents won't be paying for my ball dress :(



A Close Study-esque Version of Chuck s02e14

"I lo- like you very much."


"You're welcome."

General Beckman peered at Chuck over her glasses. Her expression was severe, but not too shocked, as if she were used to his horrible timing over this past year.

"You don't really have to thank me," Chuck corrected hastily, stuttering, and cowering a little. "Not- not that you are thanking me, I guess you're just making a statement-"

The woman lowered her papers, seemingly waiting expectantly for another foot in mouth comment.

Chuck tried to compose himself, "-uh, continue..."

Sarah, with her eyes lowered, couldn't help the way an amused smile surfaced uncontrollably onto her lips, her heart warming just with Chuck's little comment. She loved how he managed to endear himself even to the most rigid of people, and get off without a scratch. It was a trait that had helped him countless times to escape and hold up kidnappers, terrorists and dangerous people until she burst in with her gun to save him. She loved his rambling-

-until: "Um..."

Looking up at the ceiling, Sarah almost rolled her eyes, cringing inside at his soon to be very unnecessary comment. Chuck had the best timing.

"Scuse me general... you want me to befriend my best friend's ex girlfriend's new boyfriend?"

--

"Don't you get it? He's never going to grow up!"

Looking behind him while Anna was preoccupied, he watched as Casey gestured violently, at him. Screwing his face up-

"Hey what about a double date or somethin' sometime?" He burst out, hoping it sounded casual.

"Okay," Anna gushed, almost like she were floating and overhearing her mutter a breathless "wow" of wonder at his sudden interest in her life, Chuck pummeled the Casey-imitation in his mind while the real one let out a half sarcastic and half prodding-

"Good job." At his back.

Chuck, still with a small fake grin on his lips, whispered back, "I hate you."

--

"A true measure of a man's success is not in dollars," Chuck said, trying to ignore the expectant look Sarah watched him with, a small curious smile on her face.

"Is his ability to love." He finally looked at her, and there was an uncomfortable moment as he watched flutters of emotion cross her eyes.

She couldn't take the intensity and instead turned to Anna with a fake smile while Chuck admired her curvy figure draped in a beautiful blue dress that whispered over her skin and accentuated her eyes while her attention was not on him.

A little downcast at her reaction, Chuck added to turn the conversation in a less personal direction, "If so, Morgan is stink'n rich." And I'm a hobo, he added in his mind.

--

"Then don't do nothing!" Chuck shouted in desperation as sounds of Morgan struggling with the Triad echoes behind him. "Do something!" Anything!

He fumed in annoyance as his two protectors stood there, unmoving and stone deaf at his pleas.

They just didn't understand how much one person could mean to another, Chuck thought, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he worried for Morgan.

"Fine." He said as Casey and Sarah looked at each other briefly. "If you're not going to save him..."

Casey looked away in triumph, while Sarah was still watching his expressions intently, eyes locked on his in suspicion. He knew he shouldn't have had let her learn to read him so well.

"Then I will."

He twisted away and he could feel Sarah lunging for him a millisecond later, uttering a quick "Hey!" As she ran in small staccato steps after him in her silver heels.

--

Sarah raced after him, heart pounding as it always did whenever Chuck willingly jumped into danger.

Stopping close behind him- partly because she could feel the comforting warmth radiate from his thin white shirt, and partly to protect him at a moment's notice- she almost drifted away in her thoughts due to his proximity instead of listening to him bumbling an excuse for Morgan.

Watching him teeter between betraying his friend's confidence and saving his life, Sarah almost reached out for him in support as she tried to keep her fingers from running down his rigid spine.

"He's stalking you."

Roving her gaze to Morgan, she watched the pain ride swiftly over his face at Chuck's declaration. Morgan's head slumped back onto the car in defeat.

"He's a stalker-"

With every word, Sarah grew more uncomfortable, scooping a bit of hair from her face, as she watched fragments of their friendship break off with every demeaning sentence.

"-Not a spy, there's a very very thin but key difference in my opinion."

Morgan's eyes implored Chuck to stem the flow of damaging words. There was a pause before Chuck decided to inflict more lies to deter the enemy.

"I see why Anna dumped you. This guy-"

Sarah, knowing Chuck as well as she did, wanted to reach out and hug him, hearing the reluctance in his voice as he spoke, knowing he was trying to solidify Morgan's chance of escape without injury.

"-Is a profoundly disturbed individual...okay? He just can't let go of her-"

The female assassin grinned with sadistic pleasure at Chuck's pleading, clearly convinced Morgan was just a hopeless case of rejected boyfriend.

"-he's... an obsessed, but totally unthreatening-"

Sarah winced, she knew how much this hurt Chuck to say such things about Morgan, but was surprised at how easily the fibs and hurtful words were able to roll off his tongue. For a moment she wished Chuck wasn't this good at lying anymore.

"Sicko."

At last word, Sarah looked down somberly, unable to watch Morgan's devastated expression.

"Grow up, Morgan Grimes."

--

"How could you just stand there and make me choose between Morgan's life and his friendship?" Chuck's voice was painfully monotone, eyebrows furrowed at her in confusion as if he couldn't believe anybody could have done that. He had expected her to at least back him up a little...

Caught off guard, Sarah made a placating gesture with her hands, clearly bewildered as to his reaction.

Chuck finally realised how much Sarah still didn't understand about relationships- only possessing a textbook definition and the way to manipulate it.

At Chuck's silence, she continued, awkward as the rare silence between them prevailed, "That wasn't going to happen because Anna vouched for him."

Dismayed, Chuck pressed on, "You don't get who he is to me," He said sadly in a low tone, almost to himself.

"No," Sarah said almost too casually, defending herself. "I get it, he's your best friend-" The gravity of what Chuck had just lost didn't seem to make any impact on her, the face value of that statement seemed all that she could to understand- or comprehend.

Disappointed, he watched her smile waver at his seriousness.

There was a beat, as Chuck willed himself not to sound too judgmental.

"You know you say that-", He started, a tad frustrated and also adopting a tinge of wonder in his tone, "But I don't think you have a clue what it means." He almost regretted his harsher tone. Maybe he'd expected too much of her. She'd seemed so loving and caring that he'd lived under the illusion that she was almost perfect, that even whatever the spies code of honor was, that it wasn't to leave a partner behind.

This was the first time he'd gone against her, or appeared annoyed in any way at her directly. It felt strange. Perhaps if Casey were here, he'd be proud that Chuck finally got a backbone.

Sarah looked a little lost and a little aloof as she looked away.

Lowering himself to the seat next to her, he suppressed the feelings he had for her before taking a deep breath.

She seemed to know he was about to tell her something close to his chest, and Chuck hoped she'd listen to what he was admitting, he wanted very much to get through to her, and it was the first time he'd opened up about his parents to anybody since it happened.

"Look Sarah-"

--

Miserable, Chuck could only replay the last few minutes of conversation with Sarah as he sat on the curb outside the Orange Orange, finally realizing the huge chasm that still stood between his and Sarah's emotional capabilities and understanding of people. Not how to control them with leverage over people's emotions, how friendships technically 'worked'. But how it felt.

"Before you came," Chuck remembered himself saying, "and long after you've gone-" This was the first time he'd openly revealed his fear of her leaving, and with the large possibility that that was going to happen, he couldn't help a tinge of bitterness colour his voice as he held her stare with a very grave look on his face.

"Morgan," He emphasized, "Is my family."

He hoped it didn't convey how much his belief in her was shaky as he also subtly implied that Morgan would be chosen before her, and that he believed she'd regulate him back to Morgan's care once her assignment was over. It was almost a plea for her not to go when the time came.

There was no playfulness or smile in her expression after his statement.

She stared at him, her eyes still perplexed but he was relieved when he saw her trying to work through all that he'd just revealed.

Suddenly, she looked down, swallowing, and he feared she'd change the subject again as usual whenever they touched on deeper topics.

"While I appreciate-"

His heart sank.

"-Your friendship with Morgan," There was no pity in her gaze. He realised this one of the first times he'd been on the other side of Agent Walker's professional opinion, and rebuke. "Losing sight of that container means losing a lot of other people's best friends."

His puppy look was too much for her and she looked back down at her work, clearly a signal their conversation was over.

As Chuck stared at her with something akin to disbelief- and disappointment- at her callousness, Sarah tried to keep her eyes from straying to his betrayed expression or accusing look.

"Not just yours Chuck."

She briefly stared at him for another second, with a firm look, wishing she could offer him some sort of comfort instead of a CIA point of view.

Soon, the space he filled was vacated, and Sarah didn't dare look up in case she saw something from him that would shatter her resolve in keeping Chuck away.

--

"You're risking your life!"

"No, I'm saving Morgan's!"

--

Sarah almost scrambled out of the car in haste, watching the Herder drive off out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey," She pulled out her badge, still distracted after her scrabble with the triad lady (hoping also that the cleanup crew would destroy the tape as the car's roiling motion could be misconstrued as something else. On top of her worries, she didn't need Chuck to think she swung that way as well).

"CIA- let him go."

She looked at her partner with a hint of panic as she asked questioningly, "Where's Chuck?"

Casey looked in another direction with something akin to dread, and all Sarah could hear was "Took off with the bomb."

Looking on in horror and worry, it didn't help when Casey added under his breath, "Get outta there Bartowski."

Chuck was in the Herder?? Sarah thought, heart racing, With the bomb??

"Oh my god, Chuck-" She said, breath catching in her throat. Stepping forward, eyebrows knitted together in concern, she vaguely registered that she couldn't hear anything except the pounding of blood in her ears and she stepped took another step forward as if to go to him.

The train passed, and she started running, a wave of dizziness and hysterics taking over her as she raced against time. There had to be no fear of failure, she'd get him out of there! Oh god, Chuck, Chuck!

The anticipation built, and Sarah found herself praying that she'd see a lanky body tumble clumsily out of the drivers side of the car to the relative safety of the pavement.

Come on, come on Chuck. Nonononononono!

The herder emerged behind the brief interruption and before she could resume sprinting after it. Her chest tightened as the beat of her heart seemed to match the cadence of the last seconds of a bomb ticking until she was about to scream his name-

Tick. Tick. Time screamed to a standstill as the last tick teetered over the edge Ti-

She couldn't even tell where it started or when, but the explosion and the orange flash of light brought her into a daze, the shockwaves from the blast sending her arms flailing and her body stumbling back a step.

Her hand raised itself to her chest in a tight fist, her nails digging into her palm as a plume of flames rose into the air, and Sarah desperately searched for any sign of her Chuck. Her face contorted in anguish as a mantra of "Please", rolled through her thoughts.

Not now, Sarah thought- not when they had so many unresolved issues between them. Not when they were pushed apart by her lack of understanding for Chuck and Morgan. Not when she'd pushed him away last week after the suburb mission and the fact they hadn't talked normally since. No- not Chuck.

"Oh," she uttered in shock, her mouth gaping, chin quivering as her eyes teared, not at all an effect from the stinging smoke that blew into her face. A well of emotion tumbled through her chest and her throat tightened like a icy clamp in horror.

Chuck! She screamed inside, her despair so potent there wasn't anything else for her to say or think. Their relationship was way past words. It couldn't be described in any uncertain terms anymore.

A horrible feeling of grief pooled inside her, and the irrational thought of the fact that she'd just lost everything rebounded through her head. She'd lost her best friend. The friend who cared about her enough to bring her donuts to make her feel better, and insisted on looking after her even though he knew full well she was capable of it herself. Who'd cradled her tightly in his arms while agents died around them as he thwarted the dark intersect to save all their lives again. He was the only man she'd had such an emotional connection to.

Behind her, she was only vaguely aware of Casey's tentative but heavy steps towards the burning wreck her eyes were still fixed upon. He didn't speak either. She could almost feel his admiration of Chuck. Chuck- who was gone, who'd died on today on February the twenty-fourth, at 3.22pm.

Taking large gasps and trying to breathe through shallow choking at the lack of air in her lungs, wetness pooled in her eyes and was about to overflow as the look of distress was still etched upon her face. Keep it together, Walker. Don't scream. Do anything but scream.

"Well!"

Her heart stopped.

She whipped around to see the most welcome sight of her life.

"Sweet huh?"

It took all the restraint she had not to crush him in her embrace as she stepped back in shock, unbelieving that he was alive and well. Her hand was still covered her chest where a few seconds ago, she was sure her heart had been broken, and her eyes widened in joy and shock and disbelief, her mouth hanging open. Her chest heaved just from the fact that her mind was numbly proclaiming that indeed, Chuck was alive, breathing, and reckless as ever.

"What?" He asked in a softer tone when he looked at her lack of response, his expression edging on uncertainty at her obvious near breakdown and grief stricken face.

Sarah didn't care one bit anymore that he saw her so shattered. She had to look away from his adorable features to prevent further tears of relief from bursting out. Seeing understanding dawn in his eyes and his look of shame as he looked comfortingly at her, realising what he'd done- she clamped a hand over her mouth to cover her overwhelming emotions. Embarrassed that her guard was down and she'd allowed herself to feel the pain of his apparent death, she sought to regain control of her bodily functions again.

She took a deep breath of air, her clouded mind finally projecting glee at his appearance. As hard as she'd tried to keep him at a distance, she couldn't keep him away for too long, and Sarah finally realized how deeply she was emotionally invested in him.

She looked the other way as he spoke with puzzlement, "Did you think that I was-"

He trailed off as if it hit him just what impact he'd had on her, and what he'd led them to believe.

Chuck looked mortified and genuinely guilty for triggering such emotion in them as he gazed at her hopelessly, trying to explain his actions and scared at the degree of emotion he'd evoked in her, "No, I was-"

He gestured at the remote control which Casey tugged away gruffly, trying to pretend he hadn't been affected by the display. Casey stared with wide eyes at him, for once floored by his asset's genius but misleading actions while Chuck was still wondering how he had affected his handlers so much.

"I was just using-" He rambled.

With Chuck's attention away from her, Sarah smoothed her hand over her hair, letting out a breath. With a sheepish expression that turned into one of patronization, she put her hands on her hips, a little irritated at herself now, with a mix of embarrassment at her public outpour of emotion, glaring at him for making her this vulnerable when he turned back to her.

"Sorry."

Chuck for once looked uncomfortable at her sudden display of the most intense emotion he'd ever seen from her, where at even Bryce's funeral, she didn't have tears in her red rimmed eyes. He raised his hands in a peaceful gesture.

She continued to stare at him, still not fully believing he was standing solidly in front of her. She kept her posture painfully erect and Chuck noted that she looked tired and drained as she looked at him like she were a mother scolding a child.

"Last favour," Chuck said as he looked to Casey, even having the gall to half smile weakly, unable to meet her gaze anymore and backing away from her, glancing at her every so often. "Would you help me get something out of the trunk?"

--

Chuck couldn't help noticing how close Sarah seemed to be sticking to him after the draining events of the day, outright refusing to see a doctor, instead imploring him to clean her cuts for her before she got changed. Ever since then, they'd sat next to each other on a sensible couch in the Castle for the rest of the afternoon, just basking in each others presence as she lavished attention on him while they talked about nothing at all.

Chuck was still a little wary of Sarah, her emotions were still ragged as her eyes glistened every time she looked at him, adding the fact that she hadn't chastised him yet about his risky move today.

Even when Beckman appeared and they'd located to the meeting room, she hoisted herself on the table. Her leg brushed against his shoulder slightly and sent tingles shooting through his nerves, she didn't seem to mind her position, instead of taking her usual place at least a meter away from him. Casey stood in his normal corner although Chuck would occasionally see him sending him inscrutable looks that chilled him slightly.

Her back was still poker straight and hands were clutched in her lap, to avoid reaching out to touch his hair just to make sure he was still there, and unknown to Sarah, Chuck suspected- to make up for her lack of professionalism when she'd nearly had a break down.

"Thank you General."

Her smile was almost luminescent when Beckman congratulated them, and Chuck looked up at her, grinning. She looked deeply at him in that split second before she turned her baby blues onto Casey who in an out of character move- cracked a small grin and nodded sharply at them.

Her face was already made up and blush applied expertly to hide her cuts and bruises, a cover story made as an excuse for her sutures binding the deeper cuts together while reddish lipstick softened her gentle features. Chuck never thought she looked more beautiful. A giddy look was still on her relieved face even as hard as she was trying to hide it, and Chuck could tell she was still shell shocked by today's events.

"Now, if you excuse me, I'm late for my evening plans." The general continued as she closed her books in a hurry. Chuck, jolted out of his contemplation, frowned. So she did have a life.

Casey was too much of a soldier to question his superior, so Chuck grinned as he spoke, he'd always felt some sort of vibe that the old hag liked him under her bossy demeanor and since she was happy today at their success-

"Ah General? If you don't mind me asking-"

Sarah looked down at him, almost predicting what he'd say next and powerless to stop it as she wished he could read her mind telepathically.

Her eyes flicked to the general on screen in trepidation.

"-what is your version of evening plans?"

Obviously Casey thought that was way out of line, and he hissed a "Bartowski" at him... or Chuck mused with a mischievous smile- maybe Casey didn't want anything to taint his almost idolized image of his boss.

Chuck could all too well imagine too many scenarios: that it wasn't even a proper plan and could have been a formal meeting, or dinner or-

He changed his mind and redirected this thoughts. (He really didn't need that image in his head).

"It's not top secret, major." The General brushed a stray hair back smugly as if to point out her importance and to emphasize her full social calender, "I'm meeting Condoleezza for cosmos."

Chuck smiled, but not at all mockingly as she continued, "Even I have friends." So she realised what his image of her had been. He hadn't have expected her to tell him her evening plans, but he guessed she had to defend her image of a living being who had a life despite always being available for conferences.

Well that's nice, Chuck thought, it injected some kind of humour and humanity into the General who'/d always appeared pristine and well kept whenever he'd seen her.

--

Sarah almost glowed as they approached Jeffster's performance, and Chuck followed behind closely, feeling her enjoyment at his actions.

A huge smile was plastered on her face, he didn't want to spoil the mood so he kept quiet and let her lead him.

Her grin tempered itself to a small smirk as they stood close together to watch Lester, an almost sorry- but amused smile on her face.

Gathering her courage as the song progressed, she glanced at chuck's half smile as he watched, entertained by his colleagues.

Her own smile dissolved into nervousness. Thinking she'd lost him had cleared her mind and she wanted to apologize and set their relationship back on track, despite the muddied waters they had been wading through these few weeks.

Her eyes flicking between him and the show. She licked her lips. She drew a breath in resignation,

"I wanted to apologize."

She looked at him as he turned to her, still unable to keep his gaze for long. His smile slowly lessened as well in curiosity and appreciation, he knew she didn't say sorry much because of her pride.

She looked down in embarrassment.

Sensing his warm look of affection though, she was spurred on, trying to find the right words to describe her tremulous feelings; she hadn't much practice with these sorts of conversations. She felt stripped and exposed as she forced herself to reveal her thoughts to him, heart to hearts made her palms sweat.

Sarah swallowed, about to reveal another bit of her soul that she'd never discussed with anyone before. She averted her gaze again.

"I could have been a bit more sensitive about your friendship with Morgan?" Her natural accent came through a little at this question sounding statement, maybe it was her nervousness that had made her voice hitch.

Chuck looked down at her tall stature fondly that was dwarfed slightly by his own height. He'd never met many girls whose height matched his, whenever Sarah stood next to him he felt normal and not oafish and towering.

The object of his thoughts looked cautious as she spoke, rounding up her musings, and he made sure to keep his attention solely on her.

She turned again, chewing her lip in trepidation and gathering her courage. It was a chance to put her faith in Chuck and she was tired, tired of depending on herself, she wanted someone to confide in. Chuck was the only one she'd considered. And it was a way of showing him how committed she was to him. To them.

"It's just...it's difficult.." She stumbled over her words at first, and Chuck admired the way she put herself forward now, his patience had all paid off. He just hoped he'd never let her down.

He felt just a little proud that he was the one she was confessing to, he felt proud of her for speaking up in the first place and what it symbolized for their bond.

"I don't really have anyone in my life like that...who-" Her voice caught a little, twice in one day, and for a moment she sounded like she was about to cry. He was reminded of the way she'd asked whether he had plans on Valentines, later he'd asked Ellie why Sarah had been so evasive and she'd almost smacked him at his denseness. He'd caught her hint and that he'd planned a nice day for her.

"-cares about me." She said it so loosely, as if it was normal, but with a wealth of sadness behind her words, as if she were used to it. Chuck supposed she had, ever since being recruited, she couldn't have had a proper break, and Bryce- if Chuck knew him, wouldn't have been one of those deep, emotionally intimate people, instead he would've concentrated on physical aspects.

Taking Ellie's advice, he deliberated about being forward and telling her he was there for her. Surely she knew he cared for her, but like a woman she needed reassurance, and he wanted to remind her that he'd always been there for her. That his concern for her was like Morgan's for him, through everything as a friend should, as well as love that he felt for her. He suspected that no one since her father had cared about her in that -not particularly amorous love- but deep, friendship love for her, and the concept of caring for, committing to someone such a long time was foreign to her.

She turned to look back at Lester, escaping his gaze again, a forlorn expression on her face. Chuck's heart melted again and he fell in love with her all over again.

"Yeah you do." He offered sincerely, brown eyes honest and welcoming.

She tore her eyes away and met his tentatively, a half smile on her lips as she stared into his eyes, searching, and he tried to show as much of his heart as possible to her as she looked deeply at him.

Her eyes looked between his in wonder and she almost held back before a larger, adoring smile appeared on her lips, her eyebrows raised with her eyes as they crinkled with her beam, and her eyes shone with something for him. She rocked forward on her heels a little like a shy teenager, and smiled with affection. Knowing her so well, Chuck could tell it was a common habit whenever she was flattered or nervous about her feelings.

--

"We've both got girlfriends, it's as good as it gets man. " Morgan and Anna looked forward, enjoying the crowd around the Nerd Herd desk.

Chuck has other rather ironic thoughts, and his smile has vanished. Sarah bobs a little on her toes, uncomfortable with Morgan's comment; how she wished for it not to be a fake relationship. Everything about Chuck and his life was so tempting, so alluring to her as if she'd starved for years and a feast was laid before her.

She glanced at him, he cares for me. He glanced back, communication whizzing between them in one look, wordless and not defined, but both somehow subconsciously understanding the message.

A wave of longing rushed through her chest. Sarah looked at him wistfully.

Feeling her gaze on him, Chuck turns to her, a sad look in his eyes as a wry grin twists his lips. Sarah feels chuck's thigh against the side of hers, and is very aware of his warm hand brushing against hers.

Looking down, and Chuck following her gaze, Sarah deliberately slides her hand into his.

Chuck looks surprised at the way it's her initiating the contact first.

Her lips twitched upwards when she felt his fingers curl firmly around hers. Her mouth curls into a even genuine grin when she sees his own lovely -but weak and pained- smile adorning his face.

His warmth was so comforting, and she wished so much that this was real, that he was hers, what he promised was real, that he cared for her that much as he said. She had no doubt, Chuck had already proved his end. It was time for her to step in and not let him down.

Sighing, she watches their intertwined fingers for a beat longer before looking up again, a sad smile on her face. His hand feels so perfect, fitting perfectly around hers protectively, smooth skin sliding against hers.

He stares blankly forward, but with a ghost of a smile on his face.

Sarah looks out of the corner of her eye towards Chuck again.

It somehow feels like they're cheating with this facade- even though the feelings are very real.

Lying to everyone.

It isn't real.


Haha just watching the re-run of Chuck vs the Seduction on TV, it's nice to watch 'em all over to get some writing ideas. It's the third episode next week with our favourite man whore :D Wow there's quite a lot of writing here, for me anyway: 5,729-ish apparently.

Hey Arathorn! Been missing your version of events lately... and Dreamwalker, hope this placates you a little. I'll start to work on some more projects soon.

Anyway, with my procrastination taking it's usual route of the 'path of laziness', I now have 'time' that I technically shouldn't have, to write more!

So, update to show your love! :D It'll enourage me to write more? Haha, just press the damn button already!