Title: Human
Rating: R
Pairing: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this fandom. I'm just borrowing them. The 100 belongs to the CW and whomever has creative rights to it.
Note: This story diverges from canon towards the end of 2x12 but I've tried to keep it as close as possible to the nature of the characters.
Summary: Clarke is too late to warn Lexa and the other Commanders about the missile. This is the aftermath of 2x12.
See A/N at the end of the chapter.
Chapter One –
Clarke urged her horse faster as it weaved through the forest, digging her heals into the sides of the beast and feeling it surge forward. She had to get to Tondc and warn them before the missile launched. She could see the scouts in the distance, the border patrol having caught sight of her racing towards them. One of them raised his spear thinking that she was a threat to them. Without thinking of what she was saying Clarke began to yell at them, her sentences made little sense of she needed them to sound an alarm so that people would know.
"There's a missile. Mount Weather is launching a missile. You have to warn them!" Clarke screamed. The sound of the first warning horn had just sounded when the explosion happened. A blinding light in the darkened evening, and then the concussive force of the blast sent Clarke off her horse. She was numb to the pain of her fall as she scrambled to stand, she had to get to Lexa. But the sight before her eyes was utter devastation, the flames reached the top of the trees, there was no sign of the village at all.
Still, Clarke ran towards Tondc, blind hope and desperation that people had survived driving her. The Grounder scouts stood looking at their home, they had been far enough away from the blast to have only suffered what Clarke had. For a few moments after the explosion the world seemed to hold its breath, there was no sound except for the fire and the sound of the trees as they groaned. And then, there was the sound of someone screaming. Normally it was not a sound that would bring Clarke any comfort. But it meant that someone had survived.
"Go to Camp Jaha. Bring everyone you can to come help look for survivors." Clark ordered one of the scouts. Pushing him in the opposite direction of Tondc the man sprinted.
"Clarke!" Hearing her name called by a familiar voice Clarke looked around. In the darkness of the forest it was hard to see where the voice was coming from until she felt two strong arms being thrown around her neck. Octavia had been on a perimeter walk when the explosion happened.
"Thank God." Clarke whispered hugging the brunette to her.
"What happened?"
"Mount Weather launched a missile. They know that the other commanders are here and so they wanted to take us all out at once." Clarke explained. The flames were beginning to die down slightly and she could see for the first time the extent of the damage. Miraculously some of the buildings were still standing, a lot of them in fact. Walking into the border of the village Clarke was surprised at how much of the village survived such a large explosion.
"I have to go look for Indra and the Commander." Octavia said her conflicting nature coming forth. Her responsibility to Indra as her second and her loyalty to her own people.
"I think the missile missed the village." Clarke said looking at the surrounding trees. There was still damage, and a lot of it but they weren't standing in a crater like she feared they might be. Already, those who were able had begun to come out of their homes, banged up and bruised but otherwise alive. The night was then filled with another sound, the sound of people in pain and suffering. "We have to find Lexa."
More and more people emerged from the village, some gathering in the streets to try and figure out what had happened.
Clarke barked orders like she never had before, commanding Grounders and Sky People alike. She spoke with such authority that the Grounder's listened and did as she said. There needed to be organized searches for people, and everyone needed to know where to take the wounded. And she needed to find Lexa. She feared the Commander dead, having seen what was left of the Commanders hut.
The missile had missed the village, landing mercifully many dozen miles away. Though the blast did a fair amount of damage. There was little left of Lexa's hut and she had not been found within it. It was promising considering no one was found in to. Clarke hoped that meant that Lexa and the other Commander's had gotten away in time.
"LEXA!" Clarke shouted for the brunette not thinking of the etiquette of calling the Commander by her name. She didn't care about protocol she needed to know that Lexa was alive.
There was a lot of unreconciled things she still needed to figure out as far as the Commander was concerned. Lexa was frustrating, stubborn, and dangerous but she was also someone who had managed to get under Clarke's skin and make her car. Clarke was even starting to consider Lexa a friend.
"Clarke!" Octavia's voice calling to her prompted Clarke to break out in a sprint. When she found the younger girl she found Octavia kneeling next to Lexa. The Commander was laying on her back, barely conscious.
"Lexa." Clarke knelt down looking of Lexa's body to assess her for injuries. It was hard to tell because it was so dark out but Clarke could see a lot of blood. And it was hard to tell where it was coming from.
"Clarke of the Sky People." Lexa whispered, her voice hoarse and quiet.
"Shh, you need to save your strength. You're going to be fine." Clarke promised feeling Lexa's blood coat her hands as she pressed against one of the larger wounds. Lexa didn't even flinch.
"Your eyes speak the truth your words do not. My Spirit is about to move on." Lexa forced her eyes to focus on Clarke though it was becoming difficult.
"No."
"Maybe…maybe my Spirit will find you. And you can lead both our people." Lexa spoke as if the idea was appealing to her.
"Remember what I told you that day in the gorilla cage? Your Spirit is staying right where it is." Clarke spoke with determination. Lexa was going to live because Clarke needed her to live. She'd already lost too many people that she cared about and she wasn't going to lose Lexa to. Lexa looked up at Clarke, she wanted to argue but she could see that there wasn't any point Clarke was too stubborn.
Lexa felt them lifting her, but she wasn't focusing on them. She wasn't even focused on the pain anymore. Truth be told she didn't even feel it. She kept her focus on Clarke, the Sky Princess kept her eye locked on Lexa's silently commanding Lexa to not give up. Clarke's words echoed in her mind, she wasn't even sure if she was imagining Clarke's repeated mantra "You're going to be okay."
Lexa's surgery was a bloody mess, Clarke watched her mom try everything she could to stop the bleeding but it just kept coming. Lexa's body had taken such a beating from the explosion it was a miracle that she was still alive.
"Clarke I need your hands!" Abby called looking up at her daughter, she could see the horror on the younger girls face. Clarke was a skilled healer, but she felt paralyzed, unable to move. Abby's sharp words seemed to snap Clarke out of it. Abby told Clarke exactly where she needed her and what to do. But Clarke had been trained since she was a little girl, Abby had seen to that when Clarke was on the Ark.
"Is she going to be okay?"
"She has severe internal bleeding Clarke." That was as much as Abby would say, she made no promises but she would be damned if she let the Commander of the Grounder's die on her operating table.
Everyone gathered in the courtyard outside of the medical bay, Grounders waiting anxiously for word on their Commander. Those who had been injured had been treated and then joined the growing number of Grounder's praying to their Gods for the health of their Leader. Indra stood impassively, like a statue facing the medical bay doors waiting for it to open and for there to be word. This was all new to them. Before the Sky people fell from space, if a Commander was injured they did what they could but more often than not they would die quickly and a new Commander was chosen.
When the bay doors opened Indra walked to Abby, her look spoke the words she hadn't. Abby knew that Indra felt like she had failed her Commander, and that Indra felt every bit responsible for not getting Lexa out.
"She's going to be okay. She had some internal injuries but we stabilized them. I'm worried about the laceration along her abdomen, but we stitched it up the best we could." Abby said quietly.
"Laceration?" Indra had not heard the word before but it did not sound good.
"A cut. A deep cut from when she landed."
"But she will heal?"
"That's not all I'm worried about. We had to sedate her for the surgery. But she came out of the anesthetic. She is refusing any further pain medication." Abby had never seen someone fight so hard when it came to accepting something that would make it better.
"The Commander cannot be seen as weak. Pain is a part of life. She will endure it." Indra said.
"She could have a heart attack. She is in a lot of pain. You need to convince her that it is not weakness. At least for tonight."
"I will not."
"Then she could still die." Abby insisted, surprised at the willingness they had to let Lexa suffer.
"Make no mistake, the Commander means more to me than you can know. But she would not want to go against the traditions of our people."
"There has to be some remedy that your healers have that could cause her some relief."
"I will speak to our healer."
"Thank you." Indra nodded and went to talk to their healers.
Lexa lay on the medical bed, eyes looking unfocused at the ceiling as her breath came shallow and quickly. She'd been awake for a few minutes and already wished that she had been allowed to die. Clarke sat beside Lexa, her hand clutching Lexa's hand feeling the Commander gripping tightly to her hand.
"Lexa, please let me get you something for the pain." Clarke begged.
"No." Lexa whispered.
"You don't need to suffer like this. It'll just take the edge off." Lexa turned her head, her green eyes boring into Clarke. Her skin was covered in sweat and her entire body trembled, Clarke felt so helpless.
"I can't. It is not our way." Lexa answered. She wished she could sleep away the pain, pass out until she could manage it better. But her body rebelled against that idea, keeping her awake to feel every bit of pain.
"You're so stubborn."
"I've been told." Lexa said the ghost of a smirk on her face before it was replaced by a grimace. The door opened to the med bay and Nyko walked in holding a cup in his hand and followed by Indra and Abby. He moved beside Lexa and bowed his head.
"Heda, drink this. It will help." He said holding out the cup. Clarke looked down at the cup and smelled what was inside. It smelled strongly of herbs but she was suspicious. The last time she had trusted the Grounder's to heal someone they had tried to poison Lincoln. Clarke couldn't trust them with Lexa like that, even if they thought what they were doing was a mercy.
"Is it poison?" Clarke asked, as soon as the words were would of her mouth she knew that she had offended the Grounder.
"How dare you!"
"You tried to kill Lincoln because it was a mercy. I know that you have different ways than we do. But she just needs something for the pain. She'll be fine otherwise." Clarke reasoned.
"Clarke, it's ok. It's a mixture of Violet and Nightshade. I've had it before." Lexa recognized the smell. It was a common remedy for injured warriors. She looked forwards to its effects.
"Are you sure?" Clarke asked.
"You wanted to alleviate my pain. This is the way." Lexa said grabbing the cup from Clarke and pouring some of the liquid in her mouth. The heat of the water burned but Lexa didn't care. She drank greedily before feeling the drowsiness of the medicine take effect. Her vision blurred and she looked at Clarke, seeing her features losing focus before falling asleep.
Clarke watched Lexa sleep for several minutes, glad that the brunette was able to find some relief from the pain that she must have been in.
She couldn't bring herself to leave Lexa that night, watching as the Commander's chest rose and fell with each deep breath that she took. It was comforting. She had spent so long watching Lexa sleep that when the door opened Clarke jumped. Octavia lingered by the door, looking in at the Commander whom she had sworn loyalty to by being Indra's second, and her friend.
"How is she?" Octavia asked.
"She'll be okay. She was lucky. We all were." Clarke said with a forced smile. She wished could be more reassuring but she was feeling the exhaustion.
"Those who weren't injured have started to rebuild Tondc. They want it ready when the Commander wakes up." Octavia had never seen this side of the Grounders before. She had seen them as they prepared for battle. She had seen them while they went about their everyday life. But the way that they recovered from such a crippling blow.
"We'll give them whatever aid we can." Clarke said.
"Yeah, your mom has seen to that."
The two women stood silently beside Lexa, Clarke had resumed her vigil but Octavia was watching the blonde. Seeing the way that Clarke stared, the concern that hadn't left her face yet. Octavia wondered if Clarke knew about her feelings for the Commander. The way that Clarke looked at Lexa was so much more than a friendly glance here and there, each look was filled with a genuine longing. Lexa filled a need that Clarke didn't even know that she was feeling.
"She's going to be okay." Octavia said putting her hand on Clarke's shoulder. The blonde looked up at her and nodded, she knew that was true because of what her mother had said. So long as there weren't any complications Lexa was supposed to make a full recovery. But that still didn't mean she wasn't worried.
"I can't do this without her."
"You and the Commander are pretty close huh?" The brunette asked. Clarke shot Octavia a look that would have silenced anyone else. But Clarke wasn't ready to deal with how she felt about Lexa. Lexa made Clarke feel things she hadn't felt since Finn, and even with Finn it hadn't been like this.
"What are you getting at?" Clarke asked defensively.
"Nothing. Just making an observation." Octavia knew when not to push. Finn's death was still so fresh in Clarke's mind.
"I should hate her. For what she made me do to Finn." Clarke whispered.
"You did what you had to do. You saved him the pain of eighteen deaths. And you showed the Grounders that you were willing to do what needed to be done for peace. It's because of that we have this truce with the Grounders."
"Thanks Octavia."
Lexa woke slowly, her body aching and each breath felt like she was inhaling fire. The bed beneath her felt foreign, there were no furs over her, no smell of flames or incense. She was not among her people. It took her a moment to remember where she was and what had happened. She was at the Sky People camp. As she shifted, taking stock of her injuries Lexa found that she couldn't move her right hand. The initial alarm that she might have permanent damage to her appendage Lexa looked down to see what had happened to it. And that's when she saw the reason she couldn't move her hand was because Clarke was still holding on to it. Their fingers were interlocked and Clarke's grip was firm, like she was afraid if she let go then Lexa would die.
The blonde Commander was sleeping with her head resting on the side of the bed, Lexa couldn't see Clarke's face hidden behind the blonde hair that covered her. Lexa didn't understand why Clarke was next to her, that was not the way of her people. When the Commander was injured she was usually left to heal on her own and only tended to when she needed something. Her shifting must have woken Clarke, the blonde lifting her head and looking at her with sleep filled eyes.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" Clarke asked her voice thick with sleep.
"Have you been here the whole time?" Lexa countered.
"Yeah, I had to make sure nothing happened to you." Clarke said blushing a deep red.
"My guards would have protected me." Lexa said.
"I know. But they wouldn't have known what to do if something went wrong. I didn't want you to wake up alone." Clarke answered.
"Your customs are very confusing." Lexa said sitting up slightly feeling the pull on her stitches and the stinging of her injuries.
"You shouldn't sit up."
"Clarke, I'm not weak."
"I know you aren't. But you have a bruised spleen, a six inch laceration along your torso, and a broken rib." Clarke emphasized. Lexa stared up at Clarke defiantly. "So stop being stubborn. It's okay that you're in pain."
"I need to see to my people. I need to know what happened." Lexa argued.
"The Mountain Men launched a missile at the camp because they found out that you were hosting a meeting with the other Commanders. But their missile missed. Most of Tondc is still standing but your people are starting to rebuild it." Clarke gave Lexa the cliff notes version knowing that if she didn't Lexa would get up and risk aggravating her wounds more.
"How many dead?"
"Twenty seven." Clarke watched the pain cross over Lexa's face before she could stop it but then the pain was masked by the same impassiveness Clarke had seen on Lexa's face many times. It always amazed Clarke how Lexa could do that, take something that hurt her so deeply, and she had no doubt that Lexa felt every death as if it were her own. And she could push it deep within her so that no one would know that felt the pain.
"I have to tend to my people." Lexa said trying to sit up again.
"You need to focus on getting better. You are no good to them like this." Clarke insisted holding Lexa down by her shoulders.
"Do not touch me." Lexa hissed. Clarke knew what Lexa was doing, she was lashing out because she was angry and she was hurt. Clarke wasn't supposed to see the Commander suffering this way. Maybe it was because of the combination of physical pain and emotional pain that made it harder for Lexa to hide it.
"Lexa, it's just me. I'm not going to think any less of you for being human." Clarke promised. In fact she might actually respect Lexa more for showing that she still felt something. She'd thought that Lexa was so strong before, being able to hide her emotions almost convincing Clarke that she didn't have feelings at all. But the more time she spent with Lexa, the more Clarke realized that Lexa felt every loss, every decision she made. But she wasn't allowed to be weak. And it made Clarke determined to be the one that Lexa could confide in.
"A Commander cannot be human."
"Yes you can. There is no one around to see. Get angry, be sad, feel pain. There is no weakness in that." Clarke insisted getting up from her chair sending the seat back flying.
"That is the difference between our people Clarke. You have time to show weakness and not worry about your Generals slaughtering you in your sleep. I show weakness and I show my people I am not worthy to be their leader." Clarke remembered what Lincoln had told her about Grounder culture. Even if Lexa wanted to be merciful she couldn't be. Her people wouldn't follow a leader they thought to be weak.
"Fine. But you're staying here until I say otherwise. I can't have you making your injuries any worse."
"We have to plan. Their attack changes things."
"In the morning."
"Clarke-"
"IN THE MORNING!" Clarke shouted. Her voice echoing in the medical bay. Lexa looked up at Clarke, eyes widened in alarm at the sudden outburst. Clarke realized in that moment that she had revealed too much. "You are too important for you to let your stubbornness risk making your injuries worse. You will stay in this bed until morning when I'll check your injuries to make sure that you can get up without doing more damage. This isn't a negotiation." Clarke finished before storming out of the medical bay leaving Lexa to watch her missing the smirk that pulled at Lexa's lips.
so...thoughts?
A/N: So I know I'm a little late to the party on this one. But this ship kinda drew me in. I know that there have been rumors that they might be killing Lexa off, or she'll be leaving the show so the actress can go do the Walking Dead spin-off. Even if that is the case, I'll be finishing this story. Promise. Hope you enjoyed.
