She was just ten years old when it starting. To young wouldn't you think? To have your insides torn out by none other than your own father? Well that didn't stop her dad. The idea seemed to turn him on actually.
She remembered that day like it was yesterday. It had been a normal day since her mother died. She woke up in the morning and cried and kissed her mother's picture on her nightstand, her daddy took her to school and before he dropped her off kissed the top of her head, and when she got home Jonathon and her daddy sat by the TV and watched the football game.
But today was different. Her dad had drunk three more beers then her usually did. As she snuggled up into his side his hand went to her thigh. She giggled because it tickled and he looked at her with drunken eyes.
"Do you like that baby?" Her father slurred.
"Daddy, you're tickling me!" She giggled.
He went higher up her waist. She saw Johnathon tensed as his hands approached her 'no no square'. "Dad, what are you doing?"
Valentine looked at his son and smirked. "I'm loosing her up for you, son. You should appreciate it."
He dipped his finger under her underwear and flicked her clit. She yelped and pulled away from him. Valentine's smirk widened and pulled Clary to sit on his lap. "Don't worry, Daddy will make you feel good."
Clary was in the fifth grade. She wasn't completely innocent. She heard the older people at her school claiming they had sex and it had felt really good and before her mom had passed she had given her 'the talk'.
"Daddy no!" She whispered and squirmed in his arms. His gripped tightened and he slipped his hand back down into her privates. "Jon please help me!" She pleaded for her brother.
But Johnathon just sat there and did nothing while her father had his way with her. But she didn't give up fighting, not for one second.
The next day when her dad dropped her off at school when he bent down to kiss her head she had already run off. It hurt, alot to run after him doing...that to her.
When she got home she tried to run up to her room but her dad and brother blocked her way.
"Do it now, Jonathon!" He dad urged and pushed his son towards Clary. Jonathon gulped and neared her and Clary stepped back. "I'm sorry Clare bear."
She shook her head knowing exactly what was going to happen. Tears fell down her face. "Don't call me that!" She said and tried to run but Jonathan caught her and threw her onto the couch.
Jonathon began to remove her clothes and she kicked and screamed against her brother who was only twelve years old. "Please don't fight me Clary. He'll hurt you if I don't."
That didn't stop her from her fighting. He removed his clothes and plunged himself into her. She screamed and cried until she felt something being forced into her mouth.
"Suck it little girl!" Valentine snarled as he forced his manhood into his daughters mouth.
And that was the day everything in her life went wrong.
She sat there staring at the knife. She was suppose to making dinner from her brother and dad but all that mattered was that knife. It looked so enticing. This has been going on for two years and she had enough.
This was going to help her pain. She knew it. She picked up the knife, slipped it in her boot and started for the bathroom.
"Where are you going, Clary?" Jonathon asked as she headed up the stairs. "I thought you were making dinner."
"I am, I just need to use the bathroom."
He looked at her strangely, "Okay then."
She ran the rest of the way to her private bathroom that connected to her room and pulled the knife out of her boot. She sat down on the closed toilet and pushed the knife down on her skin. She sighed in relief at how it felt and watched as the blood ran down her arm. It was the best thing she had felt in a long time. She added more and more and more until she felt dizzy. She washed her arm and the knife off until there was no more blood and went into her room and threw on a hoodie.
As she walked down the stairs she felt a wave of panic go over her. Her father and her brother would notice her cuts the next time they had their way with her. She shrugged it off realizing that they couldn't stop her. She deserved some kind of realese herself.
"Why the sweater?" Jon asked with his eyebrows arched.
She shrugged, "I got cold."
She was fourteen now and it was still going on. Now that she was old enough Valentine expected her to respond to him for a lack of better words fucking her. She still fought him though, she would never give up.
Jonathon though was so gentle. She didn't know why he did this to her still, at first he was trying to protect her but now he did it for his own pleasure and Clary was ashamed to say sometime she liked it to. Every time Jon forced her to get intimate he kissed her scars. He had never confronted her about it, neither had Valentine so she never stopped. She had now cut everywhere on her body except her face and her upper chest. Now all she wore to school was a hoodie or a long sleeve shirt and jeans and it was fucking hot! Thank god for air conditioning.
She was at home sitting on the couch when she heard the door opened and prayed it wasn't Valentine.
Jonathon and an absolutely gorgeous boy walked in the door. Jon was sixteen now and had a girlfriend, she wished that was enough for him and he would just leave her alone.
"Hey Clary can you tell Dad I'm going out with Jace and I'll be back before midnight."
"Sure..." Clary said and stared at the boy who matched her stare withhp the same amazement.
"I'm Jace." He said and held out his hand which Clary flinched too but shook it anyways. Jon eyed her dangerously.
His hand lingered a little longer than normal before pulling away and turning to Jonathon. "Why doesn't she come with us? She shouldn't have to sit here by herself on a Friday night. You can write a note for your dad."
Jon's eyes found her pleading ones and he sighed. "Fine, Clary can you get me some paper."
She ran up and hugged him, this was something she hadn't done since she was ten years old. "Thank you, Jon."
She ran off to get paper and when she was walking back she stopped at the sound of the boys voices. "You two seem close." Jace said.
"You could say that I guess."
The bowling alley was fun. Clary had absolutely no experience but Jace helped teach her. He held her waist and showed her how to throw the ball. When she did it by herself she got a gutterball. After a couple more times she got a strike and she squealed and jumped into Jace's arms. "I did it!" She laughed. She felt his body shake and set her down. He had a smile on his face "Good job Clary."
She saw Jon's eyes which were full of jealousy. She knew this night wouldn't end well.
Jace and Jonathon had been hanging out for the past month and Clary had not been invited to much after the bowling night but when Jace slept over him and Jon always let her watch a movie with them and she tried her best to cuddle up next to Jace.
It was nice for once that she was able to have something as normal as a crush in an extremely adnormal and wrong life. It made her feel good.
It was around midnight but Clary was still up and sketching in her book. She was drawing a beautiful picture of her mom as an angel. This was the only way for her not to loose herself. She had to convince herself there WAS a god and he and her mom were watching her.
She heard a knock on her door and it cracked open revealing Jace. She was lucky she hadn't changed into her pajamas or else her would've seen the scars and the cuts she had added this afternoon.
"Hey..." He said awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to talk to you."
She smiled at him and patted her bad. She mentally screamed at herself. WHO DOES THAT!
He came and sat on the corner of her bed and looked at her for a moment before brushing one of her red curls from her face. Her heart raced.
"Clary I really like you, alot and I'm sorry if this is a little straight forward but," He sighed, "Do you want to go out with me?"
Her heart stopped beating in her chest. Jace, beautiful, perfect Jace was asking her out. She didn't know what to say so she kissed him.
It was a beautiful moment. His mouth moved slowly against hers and he gently pushed her back on her bed. His mouth moved skillfully on hers and it felt like time had stopped. It was just them.
Jace pulled back from her. "That's a yes right?" He asked smirking.
She nodded unsurely, "Can we just not tell my father or my brother."
He smiled and kissed her softly again. "Anything for you."
She had been his girlfriend for three months now and she was convinced she loved him. He made her want to quit cutting, he made her want to be better. She just couldn't stop it. It was an addiction and she was still getting hurt by her father and her brother. They still didn't know about Jace.
There was a knock on her door but no time to put the knife away and clean up her blood before the door opened.
"Hey Clary do you want to-" Jace stopped when he saw her bloody form. "Clary." He whispered.
Shit, shit, shit, SHIT was all Clary could think. Not only was her shirt of and she was wearing no bra but he saw almost all her scars. He approached her slowly and took the knife from her hands and put it on a table. He then ran and grabbed a towels from her bathroom and wet them and came out and wrapped them around her torso and arms.
"Why did you do this to yourself Clary? When did it start?" He asked gently and knelt down in front of her.
"When I was twelve." She answered avoiding the first question and his eyes. She felt tears falling from her face.
"Twelve? Why Clary?" He looked like he might cry as well.
She shook her head and more tears fell. "I'm sorry." She whimpered.
Jace sighed sadly and hugged her gently. "You dont have to be sorry, love."
She buried her face in his hair. She felt ashamed that he was seeing her like this. "I'm naked." She told him.
"I don't care, Clary. Just tell me how I can help you! Please!" He pleaded.
"I don't know." She said softly as he laid his head down on her.
"Please stop, Clary! Not for me, but for yourself."
She let out a sob. "I can't."
Jonathon had thrown her on her bed and began taking her clothes off and his immediately followed. He didn't waist anytime with foreplay and instead just gently thrust into her. She couldn't look at him. She hated this, she felt so dirty. She wasn't going to fight it would just cause her more pain. She tried thinking of England but when then didn't work her mind went to Jace
She had been avoiding him the past couple weeks and he let her have her space. A couple of times at school when they knew Jonathon wasn't around her would embrace her and she would gladly let him but they hadn't talked much and when he came over to hang out with Jonathon she wasn't invited to watch a movie anymore. Jace did check on her every time he came over though.
She began to cry as she thought of Jace. She wished she could tell him about this. He would save her, she was sure of it but he didn't deserve to be dragged into this mess.
"Angel, why are you crying?" Jon asked as his hips moved in her and wiped the tears with his thumb. "Did I hurt you?"
She nodded her head and grabbed her hand and held it to her heart. "In here."
His eyes flashed with anger and he sped up his thrusting and moved his hand to her nipple and pinched it to the point of pain and she screamed. "You're mine angel. I'm what your heart is made off."
He pinched her again and she had the same response. When the pain went away she spat in his face, "My heart belongs to Jace!"
His eyes widened and the anger in his eyes grew. He grabbed her hair and pulled. Hard. She screamed again and began to fight but he just punches her in the stomach which hurt alot.
Jonathon was thrown off of her and the next thing she saw was Jace. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number while scooping her in his arms. She buried her head in his chest as she heard him speaking to the police operator as he rocked them back and forth.
Jace had knocked him out when he threw him off of her and he hit his head on the wall and she was relieved he couldn't escape.
She felt herself begin to cry into Jace's chest and he held her tightly to his body whispering sweet nothings.
"I'm so sorry, love." He told her and began to cry himself. "I should've known."
She shook her head, "I love you so much, Jace."
He swung her around to the music and she smiled at him. Today was her wedding day and everything was perfect. It had been five years since she had gotten out, both
Valentine and Jonathon had both gotten life in prison and Clary finally felt free. Jace was all she could every ask for.
She was twenty years old now and in college now and she couldn't be happier. Jace had graduated and Clary had one year left. Everything was how she imagined it.
"Have I told you yet how beautiful you look in that dress?" He asked her playfully.
"Mmmm yes you have but I would like to hear it again." She said with an equal tone. Her dress was a simple white gown with sleeves that only covered her shoulders and didn't show much cleavage but had a beautiful belt of bling.
"You look beautiful, love. Just like always."
She laid her head on his chest, he was over a foot taller than her. He kissed the top of her head as they swayed to the music.
"Hey Jace?"
"Yes beautiful." He replied.
"I'm pregnant."
He looked down at her just to make sure she was serious and then the biggest smile you could ever see spread across his face. He picked her up and spun her around and kissed her passionately. "God I love you! I love you Clary Herondale!" He yelled.
She rolled her eyes but her smile was just as big! "You're happy?"
"Of course! This is the best thing I've ever heard! I'm going to have a little girl!"
"It could be a boy." Clary teased.
"Right that what I said. A little girl."
She rolled her eyes again. Everything was perfect in her life and she knew Jace wasn't going anywhere. He was stuck with her.
Ive never written anything so intense! Please tell me if you like it or not! I love Reveiws! No flames please!
-Kisses
