Don't Make Me Choose

A quick fanfic I made for aphfeli on tumblr after many hours of tem talking about this headcanon with me and being sad.
You're the best viin!


"Feliciano, no. I am not going to the mall to shop for clothing with you." The tall German man said with a disdainful look and a sigh.

"But Ludwig, you liked it last time! Please? We can even go to the pet store on the way home and buy something for the dogs," the other man, Feliciano apparently, continued to whine, "Pretty, pretty, pretty please with sugar on top and ice cream in the middle?"

Ludwig sighed, "Fine, but if you get me 20 dress shirts again, I swear…" he trailed off, not finishing the half hearted threat, knowing that Felicano was going to do what he wanted in the end no matter what. Truly, if Ludwig were being perfectly honest with himself, he would do anything that Feliciano asked of him.

In the midst of Ludwig's train of thought going awry, Feliciano cheered and grabbed Ludwig's hand. "Let's get going then! I want to get to the sales before all of the designer styles are sold out!"


Later that evening, after returning from the pet store- in which Ludwig swore he only pet all of the dogs once this time, much to Feliciano's disagreement- the two sat down to watch some television, Ludwig's dogs joining them on the couch, and, in fact, mostly in Feliciano's lap.

A commercial came on the television asking, 'what is your family's fire escape plan?' After a tiring day of shopping and getting excited about dogs, Ludwig was dozing, but Feliciano was paying attention for once, and poked Ludwig's cheek, "H- Hey Luddie. Hey."

Ludwig awoke from his half-asleep state with a jump, "Hm? Feli? What is it?"
"Do we have a fire escape plan?"
"Oh," Ludwig yawned, "yes. The plan is you're going to run around screaming like you always do while I either put out the fire or call the fire department. You should, know, though, that running towards the fire is more dangerous than running away from it."

Feliciano pouted and gave a little, half-hearted glare, "I'm not that stupid."

Ludwig let out one of his notorious sighs, "Fine, then you can be in charge of getting the dogs out of the house while I call the fire department, okay?"
Getting such an important responsibility cheered Feliciano considerably, so he happily nodded.

"Okay, Ludwig… but… what do I do if the dogs are on the other side of the fire?" Feliciano tilted his head, the expression he had when he was genuinely curious. Ludwig answered, "The dogs are pretty smart, they'll find their way out. Don't be a hero."

After a few moments of silence Feliciano filled the void with another question, "Luddie?" Another of Ludwig's notorious sighs was followed by, "Yes, Feli?"
"What about if I'm on the other side of the fire from you? And I'm not smart enough to find a way out like the dogs are. And-" Ludwig interrupted, "You're smart enough, and if you can't find a way out the firemen will rescue you."

"but what if-?" Ludwig groaned, "Feli, what is with these questions?"

"I just want to make sure we're prepared! The TV said!" Feliciano nearly shouted in his excitable manner of speaking.

"Okay, okay." Ludwig held his hands up in defense "I suppose this isn't a complete waste of time, like the time we spent an hour talking about the proper way to make pasta."

"Mmm, pasta" "Feli!" "Right! Sorry! So anyway, what if you had to choose between rescuing me and rescuing the dogs?"
Ludwig's lips pressed into a flat line in concentration, "Feli, I can't answer that."
Feliciano whined out, "but why not?"
"Because I care about both you and the dogs; I couldn't choose"
"but what if you had to?"
"Feli, I just told you. I would have to be in the moment to know. I can't choose in this hypothetical situation."
Feliciano paused to take in what he just said, "Okay, but what if it was only one of the dogs and the other two-"

"FELI! We are dropping this subject. Now."

"…Alright…" Feliciano sighed in defeat, his rapid line of questions coming to a halt.


Later that night, Ludwig was in bed next to Feliciano, with all three dogs asleep at their feet. He couldn't help but toss and turn, as the thought of having to choose between Feliciano and his dogs was invading his dreams.

Feliciano woke up to all of the tossing and turning, looking at Ludwig with bleary eyes. He mumbled out, "Lud, is something wrong?"
Ludwig answered, "I couldn't choose between you and the dogs because it's you who rescue me every day. I couldn't live without any of you."