Right, Said Sherlock (Cuppa Tea)

"Right," said Holmes, "Me and John together
One on each code - the meaning will be ours."
Tried to solve it, couldn't then resolve it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea

And "Right," said Holmes, "Give a shout for Lestrade."
Up comes Lestrade straight from Scotland Yard.
Interrogatin', jeerin' then beratin'
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Lestrade had a think, and he thought he ought to interrogate the suspect
As me and Holmes would mis-direct!
But it did no good, well I never thought it would

"All right," said Holmes, "Have to break the cipher
To break that cipher wouldn't take a mo."
Discussed the cipher, even who we'd die for
Should have got us somewhere but no!
So Holmes said, "Let's have another cuppa tea."
And we said, "right-o."

"Right," said Holmes, "Have to take a cab ride
Need more clues to solve the so-and-so."
Gathered evidence, much of it was tenebrous
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea

And "Right," said Holmes, "Have to shoot the wall up,
That there wall has got it coming now."
Shot the wall up, Mrs Hudson bawled up
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Lestrade had a think, and he said, "Look, Holmes,
I get a sort of feelin' "
As Mrs Hudson banged her ceilin'
"With a bit of luck we could tie the blighter up."

"All right," said Holmes, op'ning up a window
With his crowbar gave the CIA a blow.
Was he in trouble, the man was seeing double landed on the top of his dome.
So Lestrade and me had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.

(I said to Lestrade, "We'll just have to leave it
Turn a blind eye, that's all
Trouble with Holmes is, he's too hasty
Never get nowhere if you're too hasty.")

Based on: Right Said Fred (Cuppa Tea) (Myles Rudge, lyrics & Ted Dicks, music - my apologies to Myles Rudge for messing up his syntax!)

watch?v=z7Bvd33V9dQ