I blame my brother for getting me into this stupid glorious show. Anyway I have no idea if I am even going to continue this, so read while you can and enjoy. I own nothing not even this computer.
"Can not!"
"Can so!"
"Can not!"
"Can so!" Max was positive that no one would ever arrest him if he poisoned the two bickering just a few feet to his side. He didn't mind that Alix and Kim didn't respect him and the classmates enough to just be quite, but at least respect the school. At least! But no the two had to go around and around trying to out do each other instead of doing the logical thing and simply get rid of their teenage hormones like any of the other people in the class did.
Oddly enough what the two were arguing about did have something to do with misplaced hormones. Or at least mate attraction. Filthy stuff he tried not to indulge himself with the silly emotions that dictated the desires of his classmates.
"You couldn't even score with Chloe. Why did you even go for her anyways? IT's Chloe!" Alix shouted again jabbing her fist into the bigger boys chest. Chloe turned and scanned the room with her sharp eyes when she heard her name, seeing nothing of interest she went back to filing her nails into evil jabbing points.
"I was nervous! I guarantee you that my techniques are flawless!"
Picking up another person. That was what the entire stupid argument was revolving around, whose pick up lines and childish ways of flirting worked better. Max wanted to scream. The two of them had been talking almost nonstop since the teacher left the room. Neither of them remembering how they had gotten onto the subject and simply having to see it through to the very bitter end. They were like monkeys.
"ENOUGH!" Max finally shouted standing up and slapping his desk with his open palms. Wincing at the pains shooting up his arms. He then blushed once he realized that the entire class was staring at him. He sheepishly sat back down and turned to the two now silent teens.
"Would you two just jump to the point where you make some ridiculous dare and have all of us regret ever having met you? I am sick and tired of this childish argument." The two looked at each other in confusion before turning to Max.
"Why would we do that?" Kim asked legitimately confused.
Because that is what happens! Every single time! That is the exact thing that happens! Just jump to it already! you two are getting onto my last nerve!" Max finished breathing heavily as if he had just ran a mile.
"We don't always do that."
"That's more or less what we always do." Alix responded. She rubbed her chin and turned to the bigger boy. "I do not trust you as far as I could throw you to do this honestly though. And I really don't want to see you go on a date with someone else."
"Why not? Afraid you might learn something?" Kim said glaring down at Alix, she merely responded by placing one foot on the desk and pushing upwards so that they were the same height. "I don't want to waste an entire evening or afternoon or whatever just following you around waiting for you to blow it with some random chick."
Max was trying to keep calm, but he was reaching the end of his rope with these two and their nonstop bickering.
"Look I've done the math before and it takes you two at least two hours to finalize the minute details of a typical dare. With that in mind I could cover the basics and write one up that you both agree to. How does that sound?" Max finished adjusting his glasses. The two looked at him suspiciously.
"Why are you so involved in this all of a sudden? It seems out of left field for you." Kim responded he leaned on the desk and looked down at his best friend. Ever since his growth spurt Kim had been lording his height over everyone in the class. Max thought it was probably one of the main reasons why he hung around Alix and himself. It made him look even taller in perspective.
"I have been listening to you two quarrel for too long today, since I already know how this entire thing is going to go I just want to get it over with so that you two can shut up and I can get back to my work. Now do we have a deal?"
"I'm just trying to get this straight in my head here." Alix said "You make a dare, and the two of us complete it, and whoever looses you get to decide what happens instead of the other person?"
"I assure you I will take this responsibility with dignity and seriously. I will even make the punishments fit with what either of you would choose."
"I doubt you know me that well." Kim responded waving the statement off. Alix and Max exchanged glances, the two boys spent nearly every waking second together, it was very very VERY possible for the brainiac to be able to predict whatever it was that Kim wanted.
"Look do you want this to happen or not?"
"Fine."
"Fine."
Max exchanged his already completed schoolwork with a blank piece of paper and began to scribble out ideas and other little details that he thought the two might like. He bit his pencil, erased a little, realized that neither would be able to comprehend what the language actually meant, erased some more and began to go over the entire thing in pen and filling out three more papers. He finally nodded after a half hour of hard work satisfied.
"Okay here you go." He handed the papers around to the other two.
Kim began to read over it nodding occasionally, he knew those words!
Alix took one glance and began to read it out loud. "Seriously? I can't believe that I'm doing this."
"You agreed no backing out now."
"Fine fine, but seriously? The two warring parties of Alix and Kim-"
"Why was her name first?"
"Because it comes first alphabetically, now continue." Max heaved a massive sigh and looked at the two of them over his glasses, waited a few seconds to assure himself that neither was going to interrupt him and then continued.
"The two warring parties of Alix and Kim will compete in a contest to see whose flirting techniques are superior compared to the other. The parameters of this event include forty-eight hours of preparation, in this time they will put their champion through a rigorous training period at the end of which the two champions will be put into -"
"Wait champions?" Kim interrupted looking over his friends shoulder.
"Let him finish!" Alix shouted impatient.
"Do you want me to summarize?" Max said fed up with trying to explain his simplified version to the two. "You each choose someone from class, teach them your 'moves' or whatever you want to call it and then at the end of a two days or so we put the two on a date. Whoever is seduced first wins, if one person walks off angrily or disgusted that means the person who is left lost. Get it?"
"So we have representatives or whatever from the class as stand ins or something? And then put them on a date or something? and then see who can out flirt the other and actually win?"
"Or something like that yes. Your flirting tactics, different people. Frankly I don't trust either of you enough to do this yourselves." Max said handing the paper so that the two could sign it. "The representatives can also try and flirt during school hours if you want. I have created a strike system and will mark it down myself and by the end decide a winner."
"Okay, I can work with this." Kim smirked he was already formulating a plan.
"Hold on a sec twinkle toes." Alix said reading over it one more time. She turned to her classmate "I want you to choose the representatives. He'll just make it stupid and complicated, I want to get this over with as quick as possible."
"Why? This sounds like fun!" Kim said suddenly distressed.
"I do not care about this and am really only doing it to shut you up. And I trust him more than I trust you." Max groaned slapping his hands over his eyes. He just wanted to do a bit of studying before the teacher came back but it looked like that was never going to happen now. He looked around the room. His eyes flicking over each classmate. He judged he juggled and he compared.
Rose and Juleka were more or less out, they were pretty much dating and Kim or Alix would complain for hours about getting stuck with one of them. It would be too much trouble trying to decide who was actually winning. Turning away from the yin yang couple of the class he looked more towards the front.
Chloe would be impossible to match with anyone, she was horror incarnate and would probably bite them or have her precious 'Daddy' ruin their life if they tried anything. Not worth the headache and oncoming Akuma. That also meant no Sabrina, he almost didn't notice her, but scanning back over he realized that she would only go on a date if Chloe approved it. She was a dead end.
Fools, he was surrounded by loud people and fools. He continued looking and couldn't find anyone that pleased him. Mylene and Ivan were another power couple and it would be cruel to inflict his two fiends on the couple. They were so happy together! They would be miserable if he let Kim and Alix have their way.
He didn't even bother with Nathaniel, that boy only loved his doodling. Childish stuff that. Of course Max only thought that because he was a horrendous drawer. Alya and Nino were another possible couple...but they didn't feel right!
Then it hit him why. He was looking at people who were already couples. They already had their flirting out of their system already. It would be pointless and difficult to try and measure it. Not to mention they would probably just resist anything that Kim and Alix tried. He had to stop thinking in terms of couples...he had to match up two single people!
He felt extremely dirty for manipulating his classmates like this. Then again it wouldn't be the first time that he measured their intelligence and gauged how easy it would be to manipulate them into doing his bidding. After all in fifth grade he had actually successfully conditioned Kim to do his chores. Max had just read up on Pavlov and his experiments with dogs, he merely moved that onto people...and he was getting off topic here.
He had to find two people...people who weren't dating but wouldn't be too difficult to push in the right direction or mind dealing with the aggressive mindsets of his two friends-
He paused and looked at the front again. He allowed himself a little smile. Now he knew why the two of them did all of these silly dares and challenges, they were almost addictive! Like a dog gazing at a very juicy bone he pointed them out to the two bickering classmates.
"Kim will take the Y chromosome, Alix you get the double x."
"Speak normal person talk."
"You get blonde boy, I get pigtails...joy." Alix said before looking at her competition. "Why can't I have the guy?"
"Scared that your flirting is too manly for her to handle?" Alix responded by punching Kim right in the arm. Max sat back and smiled. Oh yes this was going to be very entertaining. He actually might not regret getting involved in his friends little tiff.
More or less AU. No Lila, please read and review, I own nothing not even this computer, hopefully more to come out soon.
