Tudey waz THA DEY. I waz gong 2 propos 2 mi gurlfren lucy hu I luv alot an lovd 4 2 hol munths nao

I luv hur alottttt.

ALOT!11!1!

With AAAALL mi lil hert 3

She es seeeewwwwWWWWwWwwWWW PPRRRRETY & rok&&roll ya

She also ALERJIK 2 PENETZ

I LUV PENET BUTUR!

Tudey I eat spunfel of penet butur

Bekuz gud luk rite (; yum

ENEWEYZ.

I arivd hur apt & omg she seew prety lyk SEW GORJUS her FLAMIN' FIREY RED HOT BURNING COMBUSTING WILDFIRE BRUSHFIRE FOREST FIRE INFERNO CONFLAGRATION COAL-LIKE BURNING EMBER hair wuz sew prety & butifal I ren mi fengurz thru ithheehehehehhehe

I opun da kar door 4 hur & she say "tenk u blondie u iz sew HANSUM!"

I grenned. (:

I tok hur 2 rasturent & she urdur 1 pish phillay & she say yum yummmmmyYYy!11!1!1!

I waz sew sew sew hepy. (:

I eet a STAKE bekuz I m a MEN & MEN unly eet STAKE!1!1! yom yom yom

Neweyz aftur dinur I sey :

"BB WILE U MERY ME ILU BBG SEW SEW SEW MECH & I WIL LOV U 4EVA NO 5EVA"

& she sez wit terz en hur eyz

"YA HONNY POO ILU TOO SCHNOOKUMS FROU-FROU BB SOF CHEKS"

& den I put spurkly reng on hur fengur& she smeil BIG BIG (:

&I leeeeennnnn iiiinnnnn tu kess hur & she grenned (: & I kessed hur & den…

she med funi nioze. ):

Nioze sunded lyk:

"KKKKKKKKKKKKKKFFFFFGGGGRRRRRRRRHHRHRORROHRHOGSDODHOAOFOSDIJFKNFAPSADPASDOPSADOAPSOPKDSKDODKSAPOSAPDPPPPPPPPPPKKKKKKPPPPPHHHHHHSSSSSSKKKKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBLBBBBBBBLLBLBLBLBLBLLBLRRRRRTTRTRLTRLTWLTRTTTTWOWBOBBAOOBFODSFDHSUIFGDJBKN"

):

& den I look hur & she DIEING ):

SHE SEY

"PEEEEENNNIIISSSS"

AND I SEY

"YUS BBG I HAV PENES I AM A REL BOY PENES IS PRETY AN BIG LYK TEXES don b scered"

an she sey

"nu PENETS"

& I sey "ilu bbg dun dei"

& she sey "ALLERJIEZ"

& I sey "o" ):

an she sey ""

& I sey "mississippi"

& then she coughed dramatically and turned her head towards the camera I had pulled out to later send to 20/20 or to TLC and said, whilst her chest heaved up and down heavily… and as a hot, sticky bead of sweat traced the outline of her jaw as she tried to catch her last breath while going into anaphylactic shock:

"IF U LIKED IT THEN U SHOULDA PUT AN EPIPEN ON IT. OH OH OHHH OH OH OHHH OH OH OH, OH OH OH"

den she dei

& I vury seeeedddd

;_;

& i cri

an KRY

an KRRRRIIIIEEEEEE A RIVVUR

NU KNOT A RIVVUR

I KRY A OSHUN

A BIG OSHUN

BIG LYK TEXES

~-de end-~