This is for River, considering I forgot to get her a birthday present. Love you dude :)
"Tessa, Tessa dear"
The insistent shaking of her shoulder had Tessa Grey rising with a small moan of exhaustion. Three women were poised above her, all bright-eyed and smiling with elation.
"What time is it?" Tessa's voice was thick from sleep and she rubbed at her eyes to clear the blurred film obscuring her vision.
"It's eight, dear" Charlotte smiled, dousing the witchlight stone she held aloft when she realised Tessa was blinking with discomfort.
"I only got to sleep when the sun started to rise" Tessa sighed as she pushed herself into a sitting position, her bed sheets tangled around her legs and her hair knotted on her scalp.
"Oh, you poor thing" Sophie sat delicately on the edge of Tessa's bed, pushing her hand into Tessa's hair to brush the wild strands from her forehead. She was still uneasy about being on equal terms with the women around her; to be a friend rather than a servant. She considered Tessa her very best friend, and Tessa was thinking the same as she tapped Sophie's hand gratefully, glad the older girl was there to support her.
"It'll be fine" Cecily assured her sister-in-law to be. "I heard Will prowling the Institute all damn-"
"Cecily" Charlotte scolded.
"-Night" Cecily finished, casting a smirk towards Charlotte, who was busy pulling apart the heavy drapes. Sunlight washed into the room, stinging Tessa's eyes immediately. "Eventually I went to find him and tell him off and found the poor boy in the training room. I'm sure he's been sweating there all night"
"Did he seem all right?" Tessa asked worriedly, a slither of doubt crept into her mind.
Cecily gave her a sympathetic smile, all delicate eyes and dimpled cheeks "He was frantic with excitement, Tess. He told me he couldn't sleep because he was so looking forward to today. He told me he'd been waiting for this since the moment he laid eyes on you"
"Romantic" Sophie mused, smiling at Tessa.
"Dramatic" Cecily corrected with an air of unladylike sarcasm. Tessa let out a laugh which she hoped didn't sound too choked.
Tessa finally found the strength to push out of bed, her hand worrying at her hair. Would she be able to tame it into submission?
Oh dear god, she thought as she caught of her reflection in the windowpane opposite. She let out a moan of revulsion, prodding at the dark circles beneath her eyes and rubbing at her pale cheeks that seemed too hollow for her liking.
"Don't worry!" Sophie assured her with a laugh, placing comforting hands on her friend's shoulders. "We'll get you all ready, don't you worry about a thing"
Tessa really didn't have to worry about a thing, but she did it anyway. While Charlotte called for a bath to be poured Tessa sat worrying. Even when the three women disappeared out the door and let Tessa slide into the scalding water, she was worrying. She barely noticed the temperature, even though it turned her milky skin a startling pink. Charlotte had had it filled with jasmine to make her skin smell sweet.
Of course she wasn't worrying about what she would look like, Charlotte and Sophie were both experts. She wasn't worried about everything being ready on time, because Cecily had taken care of the decorations and arrangements anyway. The only thing Tessa had had a hand in was the guests, and she hadn't had many people to invite anyhow, so it had been Charlotte who had made sure the hall would be full.
No, what she really worried about was William. Would he be there? She dismissed this doubt almost immediately. Will would marry her even if he didn't love her, for he was loyal and honorable and would never hurt her in such a way. She couldn't even doubt if he loved her; he'd proven it more than enough. But still she could not help but question whether it was right. He was eighteen, herself merely seventeen. Was it right, to be tying their lives together so completely at such a young age?
Soon she could not bare the questions any longer. She was marrying Will. Her William, whom she loved with all her heart. She banished all other thought from her mind.
She got out after she'd worked out the knots in her hair and scrubbed her skin raw. When she'd stepped out from behind her screen, wrapping a robe about her in the process, she gave a start and a small exclaim of surprise.
For in the corner of her room, positioned by the door, was a hooded figure. They turned as they heard her, and Tessa's heartbeat sped to a race as she recognized the parchment robe of the Silent Brothers. She knew who it was immediately of course, and heat rose in her cheeks as she gathered the robe more tightly about herself.
"Tess" he breathed, and her heart soared as she heard his voice, his proper voice, echo through the room.
"Jem" she smiled softly. She knew his voice had yet to leave him; he hadn't risen to that stage of being a Silent Brother yet. "What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to work her voice into one of sternness and failing terribly. Instead it was almost an exhale of relief.
"I am so sorry for the intrusion" he murmured, his face was shadowed, but she could picture it in the darkness. His eyes, which had not been taken from him like they were from regular Silent Brothers, would be dark and gentle when she looked at them. His lips would not be sewn shut either. There would be runes etched into his soft cheekbones, and his skin would be parchment pale. His hair would be dark and fine, with strips of silver running through it. "I wanted to wish you good luck, Tessa. For today" she could not read the emotions in his voice, and wished she could see his face.
"Thank you, Jem" she smiled and moved towards him. He stepped back.
"I do not want to keep you long. I knew this would be the only free moment you will have today" his hooded head bowed slightly.
"I'm sure it will be" she nodded thoughtfully "Have you seen Will?" she asked, attempting to keep her voice even. She was not used to being such a distance from Jem when they were together. It felt as if a massive void were stuck between the two, sealing out everything that Tessa wanted to be there. She wanted to look into his eyes and see him smile and hear him laugh. She wanted him to reach out and brush her cheek with affection when she made him laugh, like he used to.
He was being much too formal, as if she were some stranger he was not comfortable in the presence of yet. His hooded face was tilted down, and she knew he was making an effort not to look directly at her. It was all wrong. Maybe it was because this was Tessa's wedding day, she belonged to someone now, and to have such an intimate relationship with Jem would have been an insult to any husband or fiance. And yet there was no other husband like William, and there was no one else that William loved more than the two of them.
"Not yet, no. I will try to track him down though" he assured her, he turned to leave abruptly. Tessa crossed the room at a quick walk and laid her hand softly on his shoulder just as he reached out to twist the door handle. She felt his muscles shift suddenly beneath his robes.
"Jem" he turned, slowly. "You give this wedding your blessing?"
"Why do you sound so worried, Tessa?" he asked, she still couldn't see his face beneath the hood.
"I would not want you to think-" she searched frantically for the right words "That I am... replacing you, or forgetting you"
"I would never think that, Tess" she could hear the smile in his voice now and longed to see it "You and Will... You are right for each other. Of course I'm sad that I'm not the man that will be waiting for you at the altar, but there is no one else on Earth I would want to take my place more than Will. You deserve each other, and there is no two people who deserve to be happy more than the two of you."
Tears glistened in Tessa's stormy eyes and she could not stop the first falling. With a quiet laugh, Jem reached up to brush it gently from her cheek. Tessa, gripped by a sudden recklessness, reached up with both hands to push back his hood. Jem made no move to stop her.
His face was like she had imagined it was. It wasn't the face of a Silent Brother, but that of the same young man who's room she'd pushed into in the dead of night to better hear the magic he had been creating. He looked better though, his features were not nearly as sharp, his cheeks not nearly as hollow, his skin not flushed with the effect of a drug that helped sustain his life while simultaneously ending it. Instead there was a flush in those high cheekbones. His eyes were bright but not with the effect of his yin fen, and they were dark rather than melted silver. His hair fell to the edge of his chin and was streaked through with silver. He reached up to push it back with an irritated huff of breath.
"Thank you, James" she smiled at him gently, and for a long moment he smiled back at her. He was not a Silent Brother, she was not a Shape Shifter. He would not be leaving soon to go back to the shadows of the Silent City. She was not going to be stepping into her wedding dress soon to marry his best friend. Will and Jem were still parabatai, and soon the three of them would be heading out to solve some problem residing on the streets of their London.
Jem extended his arms and Tessa stepped into them with gratitude. She knew how improper it was, to be in her bathrobe and sopping wet, the morning of her wedding day and she was in the arms of another man. But she knew in her heart that Will would not mind, would never mind something like this. Just as Jem would not have minded if it was Will's arms around her and Jem was the one waiting. The three of them were tied together by an invisible thread of love and devotion that would not break no matter how long any of them lived. Just as Tessa loved Will and Jem equally in her heart, she knew that Jem's heart was divided by her and Will as well, and the exact same for Will. Their's was a love that could never be broken nor removed.
Finally, she felt the press of Jem's soft lips on the edge of her cheekbone, and he held her at arms length with a smile that could match the heat of the sun.
"I am so happy for you, Tess" he smiled, and she knew he was speaking the truth.
"I love you, Jem Carstairs" she said and her voice cracked only slightly.
"As I love you, Tessa Herondale" she laughed, and he laughed with her. "Until Blackfriars Bridge, Tess" he smiled and let go of her, and with only one fleeting glance backwards, he left.
Charlotte and Sophie stepped in just as she was about to turn away.
"Was that Jem?" Charlotte frowned.
"Yes" Tessa sniffed and swiped at a stray tear. "He wished me luck. Where is Cecily?" she quickly diverted the attention from her flushed cheeks and damp eyes.
"Sorting some final details" Sophie said, her wedding ring flashed on her finger. She'd only gotten back from her honeymoon in Paris three nights passed.
"Lets get to work, shall we?" Charlotte smiled, and Tessa's heart pumped a few startled beats.
*Later*
"You are..." Charlotte trailed off and tears glistened in those dark intelligent eyes.
"It's enough you think?" Tessa worried, checking her reflection in the mirror Charlotte had brought in.
"Enough?" Sophie snorted in an unladylike manner "Tessa you are exquisite"
Tessa was not so sure. Her dress was beautiful, with a tight bodice that clung to her frame, with golden netting lining it, worked deftly into the pattern of vines working its way up her body. The netting continued when the bodice ended and worked its way up to her chest and down her arms, the netting there see-through. A gold band wrapped around her hips, and from there the dress flared. The same netting fell to the floor, worked into vines and flowers that glistened when she twisted. She wore no veil; it did not work with the hairstyle she'd chosen. Which was an up-do that had her dark curls twisted up onto the back of her head in a dozen intricate braids, loose curls framing her face with diamonds worked into the sides of her head. She wore little make up, except for a powder that covered her dark eyes and another powder that brought colour to her cheeks.
"Henry will be here soon, Tess" Charlotte smiled. "Remember this is just the official ceremony where you will receive the rings. Tomorrow you will go to the Accords Hall in Alicante via Henry's portal and receive the runes." Tessa nodded, although her head was swimming.
Just as she was finishing her sentence the door was nudged open and Henry wheeled in, looking dashing in his black suit and gold bow tie. As soon as the date for the wedding had been set Tessa had asked him if he would give her away. He'd also wanted to devise a set of fireworks that worked their way into Will's and Tessa's names, but after almost blowing up the Institute after he'd tried them in the dining hall, Charlotte had forbidden him to use any materials that could potentially blow up the guests.
"You look beautiful" he said as soon as he saw her. She smiled and felt the heat rushing to her cheeks. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. "We should be going soon, guests have been arriving all day" he laughed "Almost everyone is in place, Tessa"
"William?" she used his full name when she was anxious.
"He's waiting" Henry's eyes were dancing with happiness, and as Charlotte breezed past him, her stomach swollen beneath the robe she had gotten to deliver the ceremony, she leaned over to press a quick kiss to his forehead. Sophie squeezed Tessa's hands and smiled brightly and left too. Tessa took one more fleeting look in the mirror, her stomach turning over and made her way to Henry.
"It's going to be fine" Henry assured her. He took her hand as they made their way down the corridor, Tessa only just remembering to keep her dress well clear of Henry's wheels. "When I was about to marry Charlotte I had to be marvelously drunk to even be able to function. Not because I was afraid but so that I was subdued enough not to make a complete fool of myself," he chuckled and looked at Tessa sharply "Don't tell her though. She would kill me" his voice was startled.
"Your secret is safe with me, Henry" she assured him, her voice quavering. He laughed.
"Don't worry though, I've seen Will and he is as steady as anything. He's wanted this for a long time," Henry was smiling again, his freckled cheeks flushed.
Tessa could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She knew her palms were sweaty, and tried to brush it off on her dress, and then had to quickly make sure it had not left marks. Will would be there, she thought. Yet she could not help the silly suspicions that he would not be. Maybe he was not ready for marriage. He was eighteen! Were they ready? Tessa worried at her bottom lip. Were they too young? Was this the right thing? She thought with panic.
And then the double doors of the hall was looming above her, and she heard the blood rush in her ears, and the glowing colours in her cheeks, and quickness of her breath.
"Are you ready, my dear?" Henry murmured. Tessa barely felt herself nod.
Then the doors were swinging open, and there was music floating out, violins, not a piano. She felt them grip her, wash over her body and coax her heart into a steadier rhythm. It is not Jem, she thought, but it soothes all the same. People rose, and she had time to take in the hall. Most of it she hadn't had a part in creating. Cecily had insisted in doing most of it, and she had done a fine job.
The walls were lined with silk that fell elegantly to the ground in different shades of gold. Witchlight stones glistened in braziers that lined the walls, and the crowds were seated on white chairs with gold bows fastened to the backs. At the end of every row sat a small white pillar with a vase of white roses atop it. White silk cleared a path down the middle of the floor, and there were golden petals sprinkled there.
She barely recognized most of the people watching her. Shadowhunters, of course, on the whole. People from the Enclave and who's alliances were tied to the Clave and Idris.
She spotted Magnus though, wearing a dazzling suit with spiked hair and glowing eyes that matched the colours around them, he blew her a kiss as she passed.
Then her eyes fell on Will.
He was wearing a white suit, with a white shirt beneath it that was thin enough that if she peered she could see the runes hidden beneath. He wore a gold bow tie. She almost laughed out loud when she noticed his hair, tousled and messy, black as a starless night upon his head. His skin was as pale as it always was, but the crimson in his cheeks almost glowed.
Her heartbeat raced, but not from panic anymore. As their eyes met, Tessa felt a shift in her body and her thoughts. What had she been worrying about? She could scarcely remember. The look on Will's face read volumes, and it was clear for all to see the love glistening on his face. Seeing the complete devotion and adoration in his eyes made the heat rise to her cheeks, and warmed her heart to a point where she felt like she would fall apart if she did not get to him soon.
Of course they were young, as were many when they got married. But Will and Tessa had gone through so much, had nearly lost each other countless times. Knowing what it felt like made them all the more stronger. Tessa knew that things would change, that their lives would alter in both good and bad ways in the years to come, but it wouldn't matter, so long as Will and Tessa remained at the end of it. And seeing the look on Will's face, the fierce love that pored from every single part of him, she knew without a doubt they were doing the right thing.
Soon enough they were at the end of the isle, and Henry pressed a kiss to her hand and placed it in Will's, wheeling away to join the front row.
Will's hand clutched hers as tightly as she gripped his. He guided her up one step, where they would stand for the rest of the ceremony.
"Sorry for the hair," he murmured to her as Charlotte stepped forth, smiling down at the two of them and introducing everyone to the ceremony. His eyes did not leave her face for a second "It looked better, but uh, I was nervous" he smiled, and her heart quivered at the look those eyes settled on her.
"Whatever for?" she gave him a grin as Charlotte continued to talk.
"I thought you would realise you could do much better than me and flee for your life" his voice was humored, but his eyes raked over her with an intensity that suggested he really couldn't quite believe she was stood beside him.
"The only life I can picture is one with you at my side, William Herondale" she whispered and she saw the light rise in his eyes, and she was almost blinded by his beauty. He kissed her fingers, tightly clasped in his, and turned to listen to Charlotte with a smile so bright it could have shamed the sun.
When Charlotte had passed the rings forth, they turned to each other, William declaring his 'I do' with a certainty that had Tessa's heart fluttering, he slipped the slim gold band onto her ring finger and kissed it when it was in place. There was a sniffle from the crowd and Will snorted. Tessa's eyes filled with tears and she choked out her own 'I do' with as much conviction as Will had. He laughed as she pushed the ring onto his finger, and kissed her before Charlotte could instruct him to to do so.
His lips were soft against hers, and his arms went around her waist like iron. She felt his smile and tasted his tears, mixed with hers, as they laughed together, her arms were around his neck, bouquet and all. He picked her up and whirled her around once, and she pulled back to laugh, her hand on his cheek and stroking at his tears, laughing together with a happiness that could not have been matched by any. He pressed his forehead to hers for a moment, sobbing and laughing at the same time.
Tessa was the one to steady him and turned to the clapping crowd. Cecily and her mother clutching at each other and sobbing together. Magnus was whistling, Gideon and Sophie beaming, and even Gabriel was grinning and clapping.
And at the back of the crowd, stood just beside the closed doors, was a figure draped in a cloth of parchment white, with streaks in his hair and a smile like sunlight on his face, with tears that could be seen glistening on his cheeks. Tessa prodded Will and nodded to the figure, and Will's smile became happier still as he spotted his best friend.
Jem smiled at the both of them, his happiness surrounding him like a visible field. Tessa and Will laughed together. Jem pulled up the hood of his cloak and turned to push open the door, and Will and Tessa watched him go with sadness and happiness alike.
The three went away knowing that their lives were intertwined tightly, that the thread binding the three souls together would wind and twist and stretch, but never break.
