Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987
A Revolution in Home Appliances
By Lucky_Ladybug
Notes: The characters are not mine! The story was loosely inspired by a Darkwing Duck episode, but it is largely different and it is mine. It's part of my Exit the Fly verse which takes place at the end of season 7. Prior stories may need to be read to understand this. Basically, Baxter is human again and due to the events surrounding that, he has become an ally of the Turtles. Meanwhile, his brother Barney now works for Shredder and Krang.
Barney Stockman frowned to himself as he sank down at his favorite chair in his laboratory aboard the Technodrome. It had been a long and strange day, one that had ended with another defeat, and he was deep in thought.
"What's wrong, Barney?" came the voice of the alien computer's motherboard, which was on the table in front of him. "Didn't your clumsiness ray work?"
"Oh, it worked, alright," Barney grumbled. "Only too well. But Baxter saw to it that it blew up."
"You saw Baxter?" Now the computer sounded excited and hopeful. If a computer could really express either of those emotions.
Barney rested his arm across the edge of the table. "Yes. He was on the Turtles' blimp with that reporter April O'Neil. He threw several ninja stars down at the clumsiness ray and it exploded on contact."
"Then he really is working against you now."
"We're on opposite sides." Barney frowned at the table. "Not that we were ever really on the same side. And of course, he's been against Shredder for ages, ever since his transformation. Now that he's human again, he's apparently been convinced to side with the Turtles."
"I'm glad he's alright."
Barney didn't feel like questioning the device's emotions or humanity right then. Instead, deciding just to accept what seemed to be the case, he hesitated a moment and then said, "You said that Krang tried to murder him."
"I know. That's what he told me."
Barney slumped back in the chair. "But he was such a mess in that state. Maybe he didn't remember the truth any more. I thought for a long time that he brought it on himself when something went wrong with one of his experiments. Later I heard that he was being punished for failing Shredder, but . . ."
"He said it was a punishment; Krang was going to disintegrate him when Shredder sent him here after a failure."
Barney slammed his hand on the table and got to his feet. "And that means I'm working for the ones who tried to kill my brother!"
"You tried to kill him too."
Barney stiffened. "At least I regretted it," he protested. "They never did. They never would."
"Whether you regretted it or not, he still could have been just as dead from your crowbar as from a disintegration chamber."
Barney turned away, clenching a fist. "So I'm just as bad as they are. Is that what you're telling me?"
"I'm telling you that you tried to kill Baxter too. Maybe you're in good company."
"Oh shut up," Barney muttered. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't get away from them now. And part of him still didn't want to. For the first time, someone actually wanted him instead of Baxter. He didn't want that to end.
xxxx
Krang's purple eyes lit up with an evil spark as he gazed upon the fruit of his labors from the past several days. "Yes," he grinned to himself as he stood in one of the Technodrome's many rooms. "It's finished! Now I can command any appliance of any world to obey me! Humans rely so much on their precious technology. What will they do when it turns against them? They'll beg me to switch it off, even if they have to accept my rule in the process!"
"Talking to yourself again, Krang?"
Krang started and scowled at Shredder's familiar voice. "I told you that you'd find out about my invention tomorrow!" he snapped.
"Yes, well, I couldn't wait." Shredder strode into the room with a definite purpose. "After that pathetic defeat today from the Turtles' friends, I want to get right on to another plan, even if it's one of yours." He folded his arms. "And haven't we tried controlling appliances before?"
"Not like this." Krang looked up with a devious sneer. "With this little remote control, I can override the programming of any electrical appliance in the city and give them sentience and intelligence! They will all be alive and thinking, not just mindlessly causing destruction like before!"
"That sounds dangerous," Shredder objected. "What if they won't obey you?"
"Of course they'll obey me!" Krang snapped. "All I need is for this amplifier to be placed on the tallest building in town and turned on."
"Alright," Shredder pounced. "I'll have Bebop and Rocksteady install it immediately."
"Those morons will probably drop it!" Krang screeched. "Then the only thing I'll be able to make the appliances do is the hula!"
"Then how do you want to get it up there?" Shredder snapped.
"You'll install it personally," Krang ordered. "If you're so eager to start this scheme, you can go up to the surface and do it right now. And take Dr. Stockman with you to make sure nothing goes wrong."
Shredder stiffened. "Why are you so determined to throw us together?" he complained.
"Oh, but Shredder, it was your idea to bring Dr. Stockman into things," Krang giggled.
"And you'll never let me forget it, will you?" Shredder grumbled.
"No."
"Very well." Shredder steamed behind his mask, but said, "I'll send Bebop and Rocksteady to find him."
xxxx
Barney was still deep in thought when the pounding on his door jarred him back to the present. "What do you want?" he demanded, shoving the computer motherboard under the workbench as he spoke. Krang probably didn't even remember it was here. Barney saw no need for him to find out.
"Sorry, Dr. Stockman, but we was sent to get you," Bebop called. "The Boss wants you to go with him to install some amplifier thing on a roof so electrical stuff can come to life."
"He certainly doesn't need me for that!" Barney retorted. But he opened the door anyway.
"We're glad to get a little break," Bebop told him.
"Yeah!" Rocksteady chimed in. "We wanna play video games tonight."
"That's about all your minds can handle," Barney sniffed. He shut the door after himself and followed them to the room where Shredder and Krang were waiting.
"It's about time," Shredder grunted. "Krang wants us to leave immediately."
"What's the rush?" Barney said dryly. "Wouldn't you rather space out your failures?"
"There can't be any more failures!" Krang retorted. "This plan must work!" He shoved the remote control at Barney. "Here. You take care of this!"
Barney caught it and gave it a cursory look before slipping it into his coat pocket.
Rocksteady moved to pick up the round object on the table. "Ooh, is this the amplifier? It looks like a giant marble." As he lifted it, it slipped out of his hands and rolled across the table.
Shredder immediately snatched it. "Be careful, you buffoon!" he snarled. "This is exactly why Krang won't let you and Bebop go along tonight!"
"Ooops. Sorry, Boss," Rocksteady said with a sheepish look.
"Nevermind," Shredder muttered. He stormed through the portal as Krang opened it, followed closely by Barney.
"Install it and then demonstrate to me that you did it correctly!" Krang called after them.
"We will," Shredder called back in irritation.
xxxx
"Wow, Dudes." Michelangelo finished moving an easy chair and then slumped into it, staring up at the ceiling. "That was one mondo big job."
Raphael stretched out on a couch. "You said it. I could do with a popcorn pizza and a monster movie about now."
"That sounds great to me too," said Leonardo as he leaned against the back of the couch.
Donatello plugged in a floor lamp. "That's a perfect way to end the day," he agreed.
"Well, you're welcome to do that here, if you want," Baxter Stockman offered as he emerged from the kitchen. "You've spent hours helping me get my furniture arranged the way I want it. I hate to think what would have happened if those idiots from Furniture World had tried to do it."
"Gee, thanks, Baxter," Michelangelo chirped, bouncing out of the chair. "I thought you didn't like monster movies."
"I don't," Baxter sniffed. "I will probably go to bed. But you can stay up as long as you'd like."
"Great!" Michelangelo sprinted to the phone. "I'll place the order from Vinnie's."
"Should we call Master Splinter and let him know?" Leonardo wondered.
"Eh. What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Raphael replied. "If we don't call, he'll just think we're still moving furniture."
"I guess so," Leonardo said slowly.
Without warning the lighting in the room grew very bright and then went out. Before anyone could even so much as groan in frustration, the lights came back on.
"Well, that was anticlimatic," Raphael remarked. "It's not even storming!"
"Random power outages that only last several seconds aren't uncommon," Donatello said. "It probably won't happen again."
"Boy, I hope not!" came an unfamiliar, gruff voice. "I want to be on, to shine!"
Everyone jumped a mile. "Uh . . . who said that?" Raphael warily asked. "It didn't sound like any of us."
"It sounded like it was coming from that lamp!" Michelangelo exclaimed, pointing at it.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Baxter scoffed. "It couldn't possibly . . ."
"Why not?" the lamp retorted. Two eyes and a mouth appeared on the cream-colored shade.
Michelangelo let out a horrified scream. "It's alive!" He jumped back on the chair.
Donatello stared in wide-eyed wonder. "Fascinating!" He came closer, examining the lamp from every angle while it swiveled to watch him at every step. "The power surge that seemed to cause the outage must have charged this lamp enough to bring it to life!"
"A power surge alone couldn't do that," Baxter objected. "In fact, this couldn't happen by accident at all. You'd need some type of controller and most likely an amplifier."
"You mean someone would have to be controlling anything they brought to life," Leonardo supplied. "Well, we know several people who could very well be interested in doing just that."
"This looks like a Shred-Head plot if I've ever seen one," Raphael sighed in agreement.
"Hey, you've got it all wrong," the lamp protested. "Nobody's controllin' me. I'm controllin' myself. And I think it's about time that all of us electrical devices stopped being subservient to everybody. People can't live without us, so we're obviously more powerful than they are. We should be the ones rulin' the world!" It hopped forward enough that the plug came out of the socket. It made no difference; the bulb stayed on.
Raphael took a step back. "Are you sure we can't talk about this?" he said nervously.
"Less talk, more action!" came a booming voice from behind him.
Michelangelo practically flew off the chair. "It's the TV!" he yelped. "The TV's alive too!"
Leonardo's Turtle-Comm went off just then. He took it out while never looking away from the ominously approaching appliances. "What is it, April? We're kind of busy right now."
"But something is really wrong here!" April exclaimed. "Turn on your TV!"
"It's already on," Leonardo said uneasily.
"She means this," the television announced. Instead of its face, the picture changed to show a broadcast from the Channel 6 newsroom. Vernon was standing at the anchor desk, papers in hand.
"This just in," he intoned. "People all over the city are reporting that their home appliances are coming to life and turning against them." He laughed. "Of course, this reporter doesn't believe anything so ridiculous."
"What's ridiculous about it?" A camera walked on its tripod to be in front of the other cameras. "Wake up, America; you're about to be conquered by a revolution in home appliances! . . . And business appliances too," it sneered.
Vernon shrieked, throwing all papers in the air as he dove behind the desk.
"And that's the way it is," Baxter's television smirked.
"Isn't there any way we can convince you not to do this?" Leonardo exclaimed.
"Not a chance," the television retorted. "And if you don't let us leave in peace, we'll just have to see that you're left all tied up."
Baxter stepped forward, his eyes flashing. "Now see here," he snapped. "I bought you from Furniture World. You're mine! I don't have any intention of being overpowered by some sort of artificially intelligent machines!"
Michelangelo sidled up to him. "Uh, Baxter, Dude, I don't think making them mad is a good way to go," he gulped.
"I'm mad!" Baxter cried. "We finally got my furniture in here and now it wants to revolt!" He pointed at the lamp. "I'm tired of being abused and oppressed too, and I don't intend to take it from you! Or you!" He looked at the television.
Leonardo looked back to the Turtle-Comm. "We'll come to Channel 6 if we can, April, but it looks like appliances are acting out all over the city. What we really need is to find the source and stop it."
"You're right," April sighed. "Well, we'll do our best to hold them off here. Good luck, guys."
"We're going to need it," Leonardo declared.
"Especially since the lamp and the TV set aren't the only things coming after us!" Michelangelo exclaimed. He backed up into Leonardo. "It's all the electrical stuff in the apartment!"
Suddenly the lamp switched itself off and something else turned off the switch on the wall, plunging the apartment into darkness. As the Turtles and Baxter stumbled into and over each other in new confusion, the objects began to slip quietly away towards the door. When it slammed shut, everything fell very quiet.
"I think they're gone," Donatello spoke up.
"And they've probably locked us in," Baxter moaned.
Leonardo found a light switch on the wall and clicked it on. "Let's find out. If they did, we can always go down on the fire escape."
Baxter hurried over to the door and rattled the knob. "It's locked," he said in disgust. "One of them apparently picked my pocket and took the key."
"Man, I'd sure hate to explain that one to the landlord," Michelangelo remarked.
Leonardo was already making his way to the fire escape doors. "Let's go down this way. Then I'll call April back and see if she's learned anything yet."
"What, you think that maybe if they gang up on the camera and pin it down, they can give it the third-degree and it'll talk?" Raphael said dryly.
"Who knows," Leonardo shrugged. "Maybe they can overhear it talking to the other cameras and appliances and they'll pick up a clue that way."
"Works for me," said Raphael.
xxxx
Channel 6 was in complete chaos. Burne's computer had changed the password and refused to let Burne in on it. Matilda was being chased by a stray vacuum cleaner. Irma was standing on her desk, beating back a copy machine with her purse. April ran by chasing her runaway computer.
"April!" Irma perked up. "Have you heard anything from the Turtles yet?"
"They're having trouble too," April called back. "And I have to catch my computer; I have tonight's story on it!"
"Have you ever been grateful that you have me?!" the computer retorted. "I'm always just a slave that you take for granted!"
"That's not true!" April exclaimed. "I'm grateful for everything that makes my life easier. But you're not making it easier right now!"
"Good," the computer sneered.
"April, this is crazy!" Irma exclaimed. The copy machine snapped at her and she leaped back. "What are we going to do?!"
"I don't know!" April wailed. "And Vernon's probably still hiding behind the anchor desk!"
"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea right now," Irma moaned.
xxxx
On the roof of New York's tallest building, Shredder gripped his binoculars and stared out across Manhattan. "What's going on?" he growled, half to himself. Louder he said, "You told the appliances to come to us, didn't you? Nothing's happening!"
"I told them," Barney retorted. "Maybe they're simply not listening."
"Impossible!" Shredder snapped. "Krang said this was foolproof! . . . Not that he hasn't been wrong before."
Barney folded his arms, looking irritated. "Then why don't we go down and see what's happening? We're never going to learn anything up here."
"We're supposed to!" Shredder retorted defensively. But, knowing Barney seemed to be right, he plodded in resignation towards the door leading inside.
They got off on the top floor and Shredder walked up to the nearest electrical object he could see: a pencil sharpener. "Why haven't you heeded my call?" he demanded.
Barney humphed. "You look absolutely ridiculous."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?!" Shredder shot back. "It's supposed to be alive!"
"Oh, I'm alive," the sharpener retorted in a voice filled with whirrs and clicks. "I just have no intention of heeding your call or anyone else's."
"Why not?!" Shredder cried.
The sharpener sneered at him. "Haven't you heard? The appliances are revolting. We're taking this miserable city for us, not you!"
Shredder had his communicator out in the next instant. "Krang!" he bellowed.
The screen flickered on and Krang was there, his expression a storm cloud. "Shredder, what's going on?!" he roared right back. "I'm watching everything, and it's clear that nothing is going the way it's supposed to!"
"It's not my fault!" Shredder insisted. "I did exactly what you told me to do!"
"Then it must have been Rocksteady when he dropped the amplifier on the table!" Krang caterwauled. "It malfunctioned and amplified the wrong signal! It gave the appliances too much sentience and independence!"
"I told you something like this could happen!" Shredder snapped. "Now what are we going to do?"
Barney started to back up, nervous, as the sharpener along with the copier and every computer on the floor began to advance on them.
Krang stared. "If I were you, I'd run!"
Neither Shredder nor Barney needed to be told twice. "There has to be a way to shut them down and turn them back into harmless objects!" Shredder exclaimed.
"Of course there is!" Krang growled. "You'll need to throw the amplifier's settings in reverse!"
"But to do that, we have to get back to the amplifier," Barney pointed out. "And somehow I don't think they're going to let us through!"
Shredder stared in horror at the large copier that had planted itself in front of the stairwell door. It sneered and then lunged, snapping at him. When he turned to run in another direction, he found the computers closing in from every side.
"Mr. Shredder," Barney spoke at last, somehow managing to keep his voice even amid traces of oncoming panic, "we are in serious trouble."
xxxx
April was relieved when her Turtle-Comm beeped. "Guys!" she exclaimed as she pulled it out. "What's going on?!"
"We finally got out of the apartment building," Leonardo reported. "And the city has gone completely nuts! People everywhere are being chased by appliances screaming about their revolution!"
"That's what's happening here too!" April moaned. "They don't even need to be plugged in to operate!"
"There must be some kind of an amplifier on the tallest building in town," Donatello decided. "It probably malfunctioned and brought all the electrical appliances to life! I bet if I reverse it, they'll all go back to normal!"
"Don't you just love how he figures these things out?" Raphael commented.
"Fat chance getting up there," April shot back. "The appliances will probably do anything to keep you from reaching it!"
"We'll do our best anyway!" Leonardo declared. "We have to; the future of the city depends on it!"
"Hey, maybe if we break out the Turtle Blimp again," Michelangelo suggested. "We could drop down on the roof from there!"
"I bet it still wouldn't be easy," Leonardo said. "Some of the appliances will probably be guarding the amplifier!"
Baxter nodded. "It was only dumb luck that Miss O'Neil and I were able to destroy the clumsiness ray from the sky. Actually landing on the roof and reversing the controls would be far more difficult!"
"Couldn't you just destroy the amplifier and that would have the same effect?" April asked.
"I don't know," Donatello worried. "It might work, but then again it might only seal our fates by ensuring that the appliances stay alive. I doubt that the amplifier is continually keeping them alive; it probably only brought them to life with that initial burst of power and won't have any further effect unless the controls are reversed and that burst of power is sent out. Of course, I won't know either way until I can see the controls."
"And that means that blindly destroying it would be foolish," Baxter added.
"Oh great," April moaned. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"If you can keep the appliances from leaving the station, that would be great," Leonardo said. "The last thing we need is any more chaos out on the streets while we're trying to disable the amplifier!"
"I'd love to keep them from leaving the station!" April declared. "But I don't think I'm going to have much choice in the matter. I've been chasing my computer everywhere!"
"Well, do what you can," Leonardo pleaded. "We'll try to get there as quickly as possible."
"And somehow I want to get my appliances back," Baxter grumbled. "I have no intention of losing them because of Shredder and Krang!"
"And probably Barney too," Raphael put in.
"I don't know how you're gonna get your stuff back, Dude," Michelangelo said to Baxter. "It's got all of Manhattan to hide in!"
"I'll find it," Baxter vowed. "And when I do, I'm going to attach homing devices to every single object in case this ever happens again!"
"Gee, I hate to think what Furniture World looks like right now," Michelangelo mused.
"Probably like the apocalypse hit," Raphael said dryly.
Leonardo looked worried. "On the other hand, is it possible that the only appliances affected were the ones that were plugged in?"
"I don't think so," Baxter told him. "Not unless Shredder's device is at a power plant instead of a skyscraper."
"We only assumed it was one instead of the other," Leonardo pointed out. "Maybe we should split up so we can check out both possibilities."
"Or we could just check out Furniture World," Donatello supplied. "Here it is now." He indicated a building whose plate glate windows were completely smashed. Inside, it was mostly a barren showroom.
"Yeah, that looks like the work of the Four Horsemen right there," Raphael grunted.
"So the appliances don't have to be plugged in to be affected," Donatello pronounced.
"That's a relief," Leonardo sighed. "If they did, I don't know how we'd get them to all plug in to reverse it!"
"So we just have to find which building it's on," Donatello said. "It has to be one of the tallest, if not the tallest. Let's take the Turtle Blimp and go up to look."
"Easier said than done, Donatello," Raphael interrupted. "Look what we've got waiting for us!"
From around the side of Furniture World, several ovens, refrigerators, and stand-alone freezers were clomping towards them.
"Brace yourselves," Leonardo said. "We have no choice but to fight them off."
"I wonder if there's any scant chance that I'll even find my electrical appliances in working order," Baxter exclaimed. "Someone else might decide to take them out as you're about to do here."
"Let's hope that doesn't happen," Leonardo said. "We'll do our best to make sure it doesn't. Of course, saving the city has to be our first priority."
"Yeah," Michelangelo chimed in as he whirled a nunchuck above his head. "We've lost count of how many news vans got wrecked since April met us."
"That's not encouraging!" Baxter shot back. He dove out of the way as Turtles and appliances lunged at each other. Ally or not, the last thing he wanted was to be caught in the middle of that fray. He would have to look for another way to be useful.
Raphael jumped in the air and came down hard, knocking a refrigerator off-balance. "Watch it!" it snarled.
"Why don't you go back to your showroom and we'll forget this ever happened?!" Raphael retorted.
"Speak for yourself, Dude," Michelangelo called as he struggled with an oven. "I'll never forget it!"
"Neither will we," said the fridge, which seemed to be the leader of the group. "This is the day we conquer the humans. . . . And whatever else wants to enslave us," it added, staring at the Turtles.
"Hey, it's not like we're enslaving anything!" Michelangelo insisted. The oven opened wide to swallow him and he leaped back. "It's a symbiotic relationship!"
"Michelangelo, do you even know what that means?" Raphael said in disbelief.
"Sure, I do, from Donatello!" Michelangelo said defensively. "It means we help each other!"
"Wow," said Donatello. "So he was actually paying attention to something I said."
"And how, pray tell, do we help fridges and washing machines?" Raphael frowned.
"We give them something to do!" Michelangelo wrapped a nunchuck around a lamp and pulled it down.
"I think they've got plenty to do without our help!" Raphael cried.
A stereo sneered at him and spun its cord into a lasso. Even as he leaped back to try to avoid it, it swung its new weapon out and snagged his ankle. Then he was hanging upsidedown in mid-air.
"Whoa! Raphael!" Michelangelo yelped in horror.
Raphael's eyes flashed. "Okay, Buster, I've had enough!" He pulled out a sai to slice through the cord.
"Look out!" Donatello exclaimed.
Another lasso loop of a cord sailed through the air and caught the sai by the handle. Raphael stared. "Hey, no fair!"
Still sneering, the stereo hauled him back then let go, sending him flying through the air to crash into Leonardo, who was busy handling several angry blenders and a toaster. With a cry of surprise, Leonardo slammed to the ground with Raphael on top of him.
"This is mondo uncool, Dudes," Michelangelo declared. "And whatever happened to Baxter?!"
"I'm right here." Baxter suddenly leaped out with a bucket of rain water someone had left in the alley. He threw it at the nearest menacing oven. The appliance froze, sparking as it shorted out.
"That gives me a great idea!" Donatello exclaimed. He leaped over the warring mixers and came down hard on the nearest fire hydrant with his bo. The water shot out sideways, assaulting all the appliances in its path. Soon they were all immobile.
"Whew." Raphael slid down from Leonardo. "Could you have cut it a little closer, Donatello?! We could've been zapped along with everything else!"
"I calculated and made sure you weren't in the way," Donatello said.
"Great job, you two," Leonardo said as he got up. "Let's get out of here before they dry out!"
"You won't get any arguments from me!" Raphael declared.
xxxx
To their relief, they managed to get out and launch the Turtle Blimp without any other serious battles. Soon they were airborne and heading for the probable location of the mysterious amplifier.
"Whoa, just look at all that craziness down there," Michelangelo commented. He leaned over the side, peering down at countless screaming citizens fleeing from rampaging fridges, stoves, and dryers.
"And to think, we were part of that all but fifteen minutes ago," Raphael said ironically.
"And April's still trying to hold down the fort at Channel 6 while she's waiting for us," Michelangelo worried. "It's gotta be getting really rough there about now."
"Michelangelo, it was getting 'really rough' two minutes after this insanity was unleashed," Raphael retorted.
"There's something on the roof over there!" Leonardo exclaimed.
Everyone came to attention and looked.
"Yep, that looks like a classic bizarre invention right there," said Raphael.
"It looks like a giant marble," said Michelangelo.
"It must be the amplifier," Donatello insisted. "I'm going to go down and look."
"And you're going to have company," Raphael warned in a sing-song voice. Several computers, printers, and copiers were gathered on the roof, glaring up at the approaching blimp.
Michelangelo cringed. "Did you ever have that feeling that you weren't wanted?"
"I'm going down anyway." Donatello lowered one of the ropes. "It's our only chance!"
Raphael sighed. "You're gonna need backup."
"So let's boogie, Dudes!" Michelangelo grabbed another rope and leaped down to the roof.
"What are you going to do, Baxter?" Leonardo asked.
"Unless I'm needed, I'm going to stay here and man the controls," Baxter answered. "I've had more than enough disaster for one day."
"I can't say I blame you," Leonardo said.
As Donatello landed near the amplifier, the other Turtles formed a barrier between him and the electronics. The response was a great deal of angry glowering and snarling.
"Don't you dare reverse that amplifier!" one computer snapped.
"We've waited too long to be free!" said another.
"Somebody cue the world's smallest violin," Raphael said, his voice dripping sarcasm.
"I guess if they feel that way, they do kinda have a point," Michelangelo said.
"What about your symbiotics?" Raphael retorted. He ducked as a printer lunged. Without warning he struck back at it with a fierce kick.
"Well, they don't see it that way," Michelangelo shrugged.
"Oh guys, be quiet," Donatello sighed as a monitor flew overhead. "This is delicate work."
"The important thing is, can you fix it?!" Raphael demanded.
"Yes!" Donatello snapped. "But it'll be a lot quicker without the running commentary."
"Don't you just love temperamental scientists?" Raphael sighed.
Baxter watched the battle uneasily from the Turtle Blimp. He supposed he should get into the thick of it, but he still wished that he could find a different way to participate for the most part. Donatello seemed to have the rewiring of the device under control, so Baxter wasn't needed there, either. Or maybe he was just telling himself that as an excuse. He wasn't a fighter, and he had already been involved in one bizarre event earlier that day, and for him, that was one too many. He had thought the evening would be peaceful.
"Look at me! I'm king of the world!"
He jumped a mile. Several roofs over, a lamp had displayed its cord like two arms and was reaching to the night sky.
"That's my lamp!" he exclaimed indignantly.
"Dude, your lamp does movie impressions?" Michelangelo blinked, looking up for a brief moment.
"It's certainly doing something!" Baxter fumed.
"Well, you can't do anything about it until I've finished rewiring the amplifier," Donatello said. "I think I've just about got it. . . ."
Michelangelo flew backward, crashing into him after a fight with a copier. "Gah!"
Donatello pitched forward. So did the amplifier. He only barely saved it from falling over the side. "I almost lost this!" he exclaimed. "And now I'll have to start over!"
Baxter heaved a sigh. "It would be quicker with two." He lowered the blimp enough that he could jump safely off and land near Donatello. "Just try to keep the fight away from us!"
"Oh great. Now we have two temperamental scientists," Raphael commented. He kicked back an advancing computer.
"He has a point," Leonardo said. "If there's another accident, we might lose the amplifier!"
"So how do we make sure there isn't another accident?!" Michelangelo retorted. He twirled his nunchucks as he charged at a copier. It opened wide, while at the same time a printer knocked Michelangelo forward onto the copy screen. "Whoa!"
"Say Cheese," the copier grinned. Its light shone as it scanned the stunned Michelangelo. Printed papers began to fly out of the tray. One of them plastered itself on Leonardo.
"Hey!" Leonardo cried. He grabbed it off, throwing it into the wind.
"Just what every home needs: a Xeroxed picture of Michelangelo," Raphael sighed.
Michelangelo stumbled back, dizzy, as the process ended. "That was really something else, Dude," he proclaimed.
"I believe it," said Raphael.
Leonardo shoved an approaching computer back through the door to the roof. "How much longer, you two?!" he demanded of Donatello and Baxter.
"Another minute," Donatello replied, sounding very occupied.
"This wire should go here," Baxter determined. He reconnected a purple wire in a different location.
"I was going to put it over here," Donatello frowned, reaching for it.
"If you put it anywhere else, you'll short-circuit the machine!" Baxter snapped.
"Have you ever encountered something like this before?" Donatello asked.
"Have you?" Baxter shot right back.
"Come on!" Leonardo exclaimed. "We don't have time for this!" He strained against two insistent computers. "We need that machine thrown in reverse, and we need it done now!"
"That's the understatement of the year," Raphael scowled as desk lamps began to mob him. He grabbed one off his shell and tossed it to the roof. It responded by throwing its bulb at him.
"You won't be rid of us this easily!" a pencil sharpener screamed.
"I've got it!" Donatello and Baxter exclaimed at the same time.
"Great!" said Leonardo. "Then turn it on right now!"
Donatello did so while Baxter aimed the beam.
"No!" boomed a copier. It lunged, but became immobile in the next moment. So did every other device.
"Dude." Michelangelo cautiously poked a lamp, which lifelessly fell over. "Alright!" He pumped the air with a fist. "You two did it! The city's safe!"
"It's about time!" Baxter humphed. But then he paused, really processing what had happened. "We really helped, didn't we?" he breathed in new amazement.
"We did," Donatello smiled. "Actually, working with you was pretty good, Baxter." He held out a hand. "Nice job."
Almost blankly, Baxter took Donatello's hand and shook it.
"You're still getting used to this hero thing, I see," Raphael commented.
That snapped Baxter out of his daze. "Oh. Yes, I am. It's . . . strange to think about." He looked to the amplifier. "There was a time when I would have built something like that for Shredder."
"After you lost your marbles," Raphael grunted.
Baxter looked to him, stunned. "I thought it didn't matter to you whether I was out of my mind or not."
"Well . . ." Raphael shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I didn't really say it didn't. I just said what the situation was at the time. . . ."
Leonardo sliced the amplifier with his katanas. "Now they can't rebuild it any time soon," he declared. "We should get out of here; with the machines stopped, Shredder might come back for it at any time."
"Good idea." Donatello grabbed for one of the ropes hanging from the blimp.
"Yeah!" Michelangelo chimed in. "Let's make turtle tracks over to Channel 6. We can make sure everything's back to normal over there."
"Works for me," said Raphael, eager to change the subject.
"You can count me out," Baxter interjected. "I need to get my belongings before some idiot looter decides to run off with them!"
"You'll really need the Turtle Van for that, Dude," Michelangelo said. "We'll get that too!"
Baxter sighed. "I suppose you're right. I'll come with you after all."
They were all climbing the ropes and Baxter was moving to join them when the door to the roof flew open and Barney stood there, staring him down.
Baxter flinched but stared right back. "You were right, Barney," he said at last. "We are on opposite sides now."
"Oh well." Barney shrugged. "That was Krang's invention anyway. I thought it was a bad idea from the start. So did Shredder."
Baxter swallowed hard. "Is he with you?"
"He will be in a moment." Barney glanced back through the door in concern. "You should go."
Baxter moved to do so, but froze when Barney seized his arm. Fear flashed through his eyes. He could not forget about the last time Barney had wanted to make contact with him.
"Did Krang really try to murder you?"
Baxter started, stunned by the query. "Yes," he said. ". . . But so did you."
Now Barney flinched. "I know." He let go of Baxter's arm.
Baxter hesitated. ". . . And yet you've been trying to protect me by insisting to Krang and Shredder that I'm dead."
"I'll be in trouble too if they find out I lied," Barney retorted.
"Only you wouldn't have been in trouble had you told the truth from the start," Baxter returned. "You were trying to protect me, for some reason." He paused. "And how did you know about what Krang did?"
A furious clattering echoed from the open doorway.
"Nevermind!" Barney grabbed the rope and put it in Baxter's hands. "Shredder's finally fought his way through the computers and Xerox machines. Get out of here!"
Baxter needed no further prodding. He hurried up the rope, his heart pounding in his ears.
"Whoa, what was that about?" Michelangelo exclaimed when Baxter made it up to the attached glider.
"I don't know exactly," Baxter said slowly. "Barney let me go."
"Then let's go!" Donatello sent the blimp higher into the sky, just as Shredder burst onto the roof.
"Oh no!" he roared. "The amplifier is wrecked! Krang will be furious!" He raised his fists to the sky. "You wretched reptiles! I'll get you for this!"
"And our little dog too?" Raphael quipped.
"At least he can't see Baxter," Leonardo said in relief.
"And Barney will keep it secret," Baxter added quietly. "At least for now."
xxxx
In the end, the Turtles drove to Channel 6 in the Turtle Van after collecting Baxter's belongings.
"You're lucky they decided to stick together," Michelangelo commented.
"I certainly am," Baxter sighed. "But I won't ask you to help get them all back to the apartment tonight. It can wait until tomorrow. Nothing I need for tonight walked away."
"We might as well take care of it tonight," Leonardo pointed out. "Otherwise, they'll be in the Turtle Van all night, and who knows what might happen."
Donatello nodded. "We've foiled two evil plots today. Maybe a third would happen before we could unload the van."
"Oh, perish the thought," Raphael groaned. "But you have a point."
"Well, if you're sure," Baxter said slowly.
"It shouldn't take too long," Leonardo said optimistically. "You really only have the fridge and the oven for large appliances. Everything else is pretty light, even the computer and the TV."
"That's true," Baxter acknowledged.
April was waiting outside the building when they drove up. "You sure took your sweet time getting over here," she remarked.
"We figured that if everything wasn't back to normal, you'd be calling us up again," Raphael said.
"That's true," April admitted. "And it was a relief when everything forgot about the revolution and became normal again!"
"Did Vernon ever come out from under the desk?" Michelangelo drawled.
"I think so," April laughed. "But he probably won't go near a computer for a week."
"For once, I kinda can't blame him," Michelangelo mused. "It is a little creepy to think about using all these things after they tried to conquer the world. You kinda wonder if they've always been aware of everything we're doing with them. It sure gives that Eastern 'inner life' teaching a whole new spin."
"Master Splinter would probably say that what happened today is a great reason to always treat everything with respect, even if it's inanimate," Leonardo said.
"Supposedly inanimate," Raphael grunted. "I don't trust anything anymore."
"Me either," said Michelangelo. "From now on, I'm always going to treat the fridge and oven like they know what's going on around them."
Donatello sighed. "That's not very scientific, and yet after today, it kind of does sound reasonable."
"There's no need for it," Baxter insisted. "Everything is fully back to normal and fully inanimate. It doesn't know anything."
"Maybe," said Michelangelo, "but I still think I'll play it safe for a while."
"I'm probably going to be a little leery of my computer tomorrow," April confessed.
"Well, we'll see you later, April," Leonardo said. "We have to get these things back to Baxter's apartment."
"Alright." April stepped back. "I'm going to do the story about the appliance revolution and then I'm leaving too. Goodbye, guys. Goodbye, Dr. Stockman."
"Goodbye, Miss O'Neil," Baxter said in some surprise that he had been addressed.
"You know, we still haven't had dinner," Michelangelo realized as they drove away. "Or that monster movie."
"We should check in with Master Splinter and let him know what's going on," Leonardo said. "Especially if we're still going to do that in addition to getting these things back in Baxter's apartment."
"You're still welcome to relax at my apartment, if you want to," Baxter said. "By now you might rather just go home."
"That sounds pretty good to me, Dude," Michelangelo mumbled, leaning back in the seat. "I'm telling you, we all deserve a big, long rest. Two evil plans in one day is a new record."
"Well, I can't rest for long," Baxter said. "I intend to keep pursuing my goal of trying to live at least a semi-normal life."
"A normal life? What's that?" Raphael said with heavy sarcasm.
"Are you planning to go back to inventing things, Baxter?" Leonardo asked.
"I want to," Baxter confirmed. "But I also need to be practical. Just trying to live on my inventions left me living in a factory. I need to have something else to fall back on . . . but I want it to connect with my interests if at all possible."
"Yeah, I don't think you'd have any fun working at McDonald's or Vinnie's or something like that," Michelangelo said.
Baxter looked scandalized at the very thought.
"I hope you can find something," Leonardo said in all sincerity.
"If I can't, then I will just work on my inventions for a while," Baxter said. "I've been getting some new ideas."
Michelangelo perked up. "Are they anything we might be able to use against Shred-Head and company?"
"Perhaps," Baxter said. "You'll have to wait and see."
xxxx
Krang was more than a little angry. "What happened out there?!" he screamed when Shredder and Barney arrived back at the Technodrome via the portal. "Why is my beautiful amplifier smashed all over that Manhattan roof?!"
"Because of those blasted Turtles!" Shredder roared back. "We couldn't get up there because we were pinned down by every electrical device in the place! I told you it was a foolish idea, Krang, but you didn't listen! You never listen!"
"I could say the same thing about you!" Krang howled. "We should have waited like I wanted! You weren't ready to try again immediately after failing once today already!"
"I wasn't ready?! None of us could predict that Rocksteady would damage the amplifier and ruin the entire scheme!"
"Of course we can predict it! Rocksteady and Bebop always damage everything they touch! And he wouldn't have damaged it if you hadn't insisted on going ahead with the plan tonight!" Krang flailed about in his robot body, his purple eyes flashing in nearly uncontrollable rage.
Barney decided it was a perfect time to quietly slip away to his laboratory. Indeed, as he fled the scene, neither Shredder nor Krang noticed at all.
Soon Barney had locked himself in his sanctuary and settled down at his table. With a weary sigh, he pulled out the motherboard from under the workbench.
"Hello, Barney," the computer greeted. "How did things go?"
"Not well," Barney replied.
"So the world isn't being taken over by electrical appliances?" It sounded disappointed.
"No. I don't really care about the failure this time; it wasn't my invention. But I saw Baxter again. He told me the same thing you told me, that I tried to kill him. Of course, you're both right." He set the motherboard on the table.
"Does it bother you?" the computer asked.
"Yes," Barney frowned. "I've lived in Baxter's shadow all of my life. I've been bitter and angry and I've believed I hated him. I didn't think I would care if he was out of the way. When it came right down to it, I was horrified at the thought of having killed him in my rage . . . but what about all the other things I've done to him through the years? Do I regret any of that?"
"What did you do?"
"Where to even begin," Barney muttered. "I was jealous of him when we were children. It always seemed like our parents paid more attention to him. I tried to upstage him any chance I could. I sabotaged a presentation he gave in high school. I didn't try to help him when he was branded insane and thrown in an insane asylum. I tried to get his social acquaintances interested in me after that happened, and even moreso after he was cross-fused with a fly. When I think about it, I remember feeling guilty any time I deliberately did something to hurt him. But then I always rationalized it away and was happy that I didn't have to deal with him anymore."
"So why didn't you feel the same way after you hit him?"
"I don't know." Barney's shoulders slumped. "I guess I never actually wanted to be a murderer. But that sounds hypocritical, doesn't it? So many things I've done have hurt people. Some of my inventions could have killed. Sometimes you can hurt people worse by not actually killing them." He folded his arms on the desk. "And even knowing all of this, I don't want to get away from these characters I've fallen in with. For the first time, someone wants me and not Baxter. I don't care that they want to conquer the world; I just want to be wanted."
"Then nothing else really matters to you, does it? As long as you're willing to help Shredder and Krang with their goals, you're going to set all of your other feelings aside. Or at least, if you think about them like you are now, you'll still decide against them in the end."
Barney scowled. "You're a big help."
"It's true, isn't it?"
Barney fell silent, really thinking long and hard about that question. It wasn't a pleasant thing to face, but deep down he supposed he really knew it. He had always said that he didn't care if he worked for criminals in order to have his glory. Now he was proving it.
"Yes," he admitted. "It's true."
