Note: This is for Cynthia's 'Be Nice To Jun' contest. I don't expect hardly anything in this fic to be true, but Jun is wonderfully underdeveloped, so well ... I can pretty much run rampant! ^^ This is NOT a bashing fic and is a pretty serious one actually. It's just me showing Jun in what I hope is a good light. Her as a person ... scary thought. And Yamato only shows up TWICE as brief thoughts. That's it. And admit it - she only tried to do what hundreds of other girls (me included) would have done given the chance! ^^ And I'm just doing Yama from Jun's POV. I'm a big a fan as everyone else!
By Ria
I know what you're all thinking - Jun Motomiya, actually a person. Scary, isn't it? Yeah well, I am human. I live, I breathe and I do everything else humans do. Sure, I admit I have an obsession over guys, but I am a girl and a girl has to be obsessed over something, right? I know many people will only scoff at this ... and well, that's their problem. Hopefully a least a few people will actually stop and read this and give me a chance. I'm far from perfect but at least I deserve a chance like everyone else, right?
People often just think me as a thing: 'it'. They tend to forget I'm a real person with feelings. Don't think I don't hear all those other girls talk about me behind my back. Believe me, I hear what they say quite clearly. And it hurts, it really hurts. I've never done anything to them, but they do plenty to me, just because I go out and seize life and do the things they don't dare to do.
Like ask Yamato Ishida out on a date. Everyone turned against me once that got around. And you know what? They turned on me because they were jealous, because I went and did something no one else dared to. Yamato's a legend at our school and no one dared to go up and ask him out. But I did and then everyone got mad at me. They're all just a bunch of hypocrites. Yamato wasn't shown in much of a favourable light either. I mean, didn't he realise I had feelings? Couldn't he have just come out and told me gently he didn't want to go out on a date? I would have eventually understood. After doing all the crying bit admittedly, but I would have understood. But he didn't. He went and took the long way. I don't know what to do now.
Okay, I do throw myself at guys too easily. But I just want to have fun. I don't know how long I'll be here for and I might as well be able to say I did things. I did something in my life at least, instead of just sitting back and twiddling my thumbs, bound by all of society's rules. I did something. It mightn't have been something useful, but it's better than having to admit I did nothing.
All the hatred hurts. All those names they call me - 'cradle snatcher', 'slut' among others, they really, really hurt. I'm a person. I have feelings. They don't treat others like this. They treat people who I know are far worse than me with better respect! Honestly ...
It's even worse for my brother, Daisuke. He's done nothing wrong either, but he's still ridiculed. He doesn't deserve it and neither do I, but still we have to deal with it. That girl - what's her name, oh yeah, Hikari Kamiya - doesn't deserve him either. I've heard about the way she treats him, one or two times I've even seen it. Why does he keep making such a fool of himself? I've heard a couple of my friends comment that their younger sisters even have crushes on him. But instead, he keeps on about that girl! It's become so ridiculous, one of these days I'm going to have to set him up with someone else.
My brother isn't a bad person. I admit, my relationship with him isn't brilliant, but I do honestly like him. I remember when we were kids and Daisuke was determined to climb some tree in the park. I insisted on coming with him, even though he whined endlessly about it. But I knew Daisuke's tree-climbing skills. In the end my suspicions were right and he ended up falling pretty badly. It was me in the end who took him home and cleaned him up and made him his favourite meal before our parents came home. I still remember him looking up at me with those brown eyes of his and saying 'Thanks Jun. You're the best.' Later I cried, it affected me so emotionally, although I never told anyone.
Everyone thinks of me as the perfect example of an airhead. The type who only obsesses over guys and can't think to save her life, that sort of thing. That's not true either. I can think and use my brain. I'm no genius but I can pass my classes. I just never let anyone see my grades, not anymore. I used to, but then everyone got jealous of me about that too, so I used hide my report and just lie. They went on about my bad scores then. There's no pleasing those kind of people, I realise that now.
I stare blindly out of my window. There's nothing on TV and I don't feel like going out. Daisuke's out, gone somewhere with those friends of his. Why he hangs out with them I don't know, I've heard of how they ridicule him. But I suppose it'd be far worse not to have any friends. I wonder if I'd be able to go into his room and see if that blue stuffed animal he carries around is there. It's cute I guess. I wonder where he got it. I never thought he was the type to get stuffed animals though. But that's not the only surprising thing. Once or twice, I swear I've seen that thing ... wink or smile at me! It must be my imagination I guess.
I could always do homework, but the thought nauseates me. I don't feel like ringing anyone. Of course if I'd just accepted Kale's offer, I might be somewhere now, but I had to let my stupid pride get in the way ...
Kale is like, the next popular guy at school, next to Yamato anyway. He's pretty quiet and shy - everything I'm not. He's got gorgeous brown eyes and spiky purple hair, as well as a cute smile. One of my friends once told me he had a crush on me, but I didn't believe her. Imagine my surprise then, when he came up to me yesterday and asked me if I'd go see a film with him. I nearly fell over!
But this is where it goes wrong. I could see this group of girls who really hate me, glance over and smirk at me. No doubt saying I had got yet another guy. Typical. The worst thing was I let them get to me. I felt my cheeks burn as I muttered to him that I had to do something or other and then just ran, leaving the poor boy there. I feel so guilty now!
The hardest thing is that I really like him. He's sweet and he doesn't use people. And I let those idiot girls get to me and did that horrible thing to him. I can't go back on it now, he wouldn't believe me. This is the reason I won't go anywhere now. I know if I go out I'll see all those hateful stares. If asking Yamato on a date was a big no-no, refusing Kale is even more so.
I sniff and to my embarrassment, feel something slide down my cheek. A tear. This is what my life has come to. No matter what people think, I don't think I deserve all of this pain. I can't do anything without someone losing it. That's why I act so bubbly and act like I have such a thick skin, because if I don't my real feelings will show through. People don't know their cruel comments get through to me and affect me. They don't even care. Maybe if I showed them their remarks hurt me, then they'll lay off. Or perhaps it'll all just get worse ...
All because I seize the day.
